“Can we forget about this? I try to be a good person. Please. Please. Please don’t do in the news nothing about me.”
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RFK jr worried that offshore wind farms will harm whales, endangering national supply of whale juice, which he …. ummm … look, it’s not important WHY the overtanned raspy-voiced man needs the Juice, OK? He just does. Unlike vaccines, the Juice is important.
If Trump dies and SNL doesn’t bring Kate McKinnon back to play an uptempo version of Hallelujah then why did I spend all that money on voodoo dolls?
Crosby to Stills to Nash was a heck of a double play team.
I sure hope "deplaned" is not like "defenestrated."
Dr. Dmitri Daskalakis, who resigned from the CDC says that RFKJr said he believes that Avian flu should be allowed to "burn through" the chickens and then children and others, so we can propagate a "stronger species". RFKJr believes in eugenics. RFKJr needs to resign or be fired.
Sure, Trump is a diabolical, hate-fueled, fat, flatulent, violence-worshiping, evil-sucking toad of a wannabe dictator whose early death may be our best hope to preserve the Republic. But also, Conan O'Brien is not funny. Just saying. No reason to build a single-use guillotine.
Ugh. No. Not bacteria. Not special prosecutors. Not electrolyte imbalances in his shriveled, cold, cardiac system. Not Snipers. Neither the Senate nor the 25th Amendment. Not charismatic governors. Us. Resistance. Feet on the street. Non-violent people power. Votes.
It’s like all the defense civilians and generals over the years who after retirement decry the threat of nuclear weapons … after managing the nuclear enterprise for decades.
School shootings aren't as obviously part of a political program as, say, campaigns or bill passage, but like the firebombing of abortion clinics they function to constrain the safety of those deemed undesireable, to rob freedom and peace, to force all life in defiance of shooter to be lived in fear
That’s the system. If you have enough bread you’ll go free.
I’m sure there are several, but Neil Stephenson’s Snow Crash has a passage describing that practice, including scrolling back when reading a new directive to “review” just often enough to make it look serious.
Surely, given all we know about his health, we can call it the "urinary executive"?
If somebody out there is making t-shirts with the slogan "Time to Bend it" and the Bender the Robot Image with Pritzker's face, you an have my money now.
He’s clearly having himself gilded. We all thought he’d stop once the Oval Office was 100% gimcrack gold crap. No. He’s going full Queen Elizabeth I caked makeup, Egyptian Pharonic funerary mask. That’s not a ballroom his slaves are making! It’s his tomb!
They know that, and that’s why they use that term.
not traditionally what is meant by the idiom "cash in one's chips"
"The better way to understand Anchorage is not as the start of something new, but as the culmination of a longer process. As the U.S. dismantles its foreign-policy tools, as this administration fires the people who know how to use them, our ability to act with any agility will diminish"
Trump hates people who know things he doesn’t. It’s the job of diplomats and intelligence officers to be a reservoir of knowledge that can be used to guide and effectuate foreign policy options. But that’s anathema to him. That meeting was the ivermectin and bleach of conflict resolution.
I don't know what it is, but I'm 99.99% sure it's voiced by Mel Blanc.
I can't believe I'm growing nostalgic for that era. Going to go watch "One, Two, Three," where Jimmy Cagney is the capitalist with a heart of, well ... with a heart.
Our allies have never really been able to trust us. But for my lifetime we at least used the language of international comity and economic cooperation. Now it's "watch me fling this poop!"
Clap clap
He’s covered by the little know part of the Constitution that protects the right to bear carbs, even if you’re kind of full: The Seconds Amendment.
Sure, with your dexterous paws. But what about hoofed mammals? What about elephants? If Babar tries to type he’s going to burn through 5-10 keyboards per text!
That’s my Alma Mater! When it was part of King Lab … I remember dodgeball sessions in that gym ….
No reason to tear down all those statues of you …
It’s just a great big ball of Timey-Wimey, wibbley-wobbly … stuff.
They probably still have their Penske loyalty program cards and now they’re that close to a free rental!
Just spent five minutes trying to figure out what the faint dot at the very top left of my iPhone screen (not the voice control icon—smaller, and nearly unseeable) was. Turns out it was a food stain. Or Apple saw me googling it and turned off the secret functions as I was scratching the screen😬
Ghislaine Maxwell moved to “negative security facility”—a jet-certified landing strip in New Mexico with faulty air traffic control radar.
The Decoy Museum in Delaware. All about duck decoys. I must stress the museum is real, and absolutely not just a trick to lure unwary tourists into the kill zone.
“Out of town”? Or just “took my glasses off before getting on the stage”?
Telephone market researcher (NOT sales) Diplomat Library technician Arms control bureaucrat Game show contestant
Stop acting as if beliefs are rational choices!! It’s all about the feels, and “I admire rich guys, so I will adopt their views” is a very human thing.
My guess? It’s defiance of the implied superiority of doctors, of the perceived disdain by elites for regular folks, of the degrading and emasculating effect of modern regulations, and hatred of collectivist policies that require submission to group values. Plus, you know, stubbornness.
That’s because you think the GOP is a political party of adults with policy goals, when in fact it’s a bunch of scatterbrained six year olds who decide what they love and what they hate based on what rumors are making their way around the playground and what mean grownup made them go to bed once
Yeah but it’s 100% how you operate if you’re a criminal. No paper trail. No documentation. Everything by handshake and a wink. As a character said on The Wire, “is you taking notes on a ****ing criminal conspiracy?” He just can’t code switch from one mode to the other. Or won’t.
CSI: Nature Valley.
Seminar on Hofstadter’s “Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid.” So many ideas I’d never heard of before!
It’s possible Trump is panicking because his dementia means he’s aware he molested some teens, but not where and when. Probably worrying about some KGB honeypot reveal/Godfather II setup. Ep files may well not contain any smoking gun but do trigger a tell-tale heart scenario. Well, not “heart.”
Being from Brazil, I carry the historical memory of an authoritarian regime, so believe me: one day this regime will be gone, and people now telling themselves that they’re doing this bc they must, and it’s the least bad option, they’ll look terrible in hindsight. Their grandkids will be ashamed.
Only if the acting U.S. attorney picks the wrong grail.
Plane in Alaska Crash Was Overloaded With Moose Meat and Antlers, N.T.S.B. Says. National Moose Meat League begs to differ, blames crash on those killjoys at the Gravity League.
Other ways: Get hit by pitch, be last AUSA to maintain contact with prize car at state fair, kill and eat the heart of prior USA, sleep with Harvey Weinstein, or catcher’s interference.
youtu.be/S6OgZCCoXWc
I have no doubt some senior Democrats are in the Epstein Files and I want them exposed as well as any Republicans. They should all burn and anyone who gets in the way of that should too.
If you’ve built your brand on (fake) vigor, potency, and physical domination of others, having a condition that involves phrases like “chronic insufficiency,” “swelling,” and “common in older people” is … karma.
My assumption is Trump is panicking because his dementia means he’s aware he molested some teens, but not where and when. Probably flashing back to some KGB honeypot reveal/Godfather II setup. Ep files contain no smoking gun but trigger a tell-tale heart scenario.
The science fiction writer Larry Niven once described a highly advanced alien society who did something similar, with result that the oceans of their planet were “boiling from the waste heat of their industries.” It seemed so far fetched then.
At that point it’s the judge’s job to say “I can’t let you make an appearance unless you tell me who you are and who you represent. And if you tell me, I tell the world. You want to litigate that? Fine. But until you do, there’s no prosecutor here and the government is unrepresented.”
“Abolish ICE” is yet another example of the left committing the unpardonable sin of being correct too early - which is to say, exactly when action should have been taken.
“Some light racketeering, then food service duty then they moved me to groundskeeping at the satellite camp.”
Tyranny, like a two-tortilla, double meat, extra guacamole burrito with triple hot sauce, is not easily conquered!
We all know the true road to health is heroin use and having sex with roadkill.
I once wrote a comedy skit where a GOP rep argues that Medicaid/welfare/whatever cuts were actually good because they force efficiency. To demonstrate, he puts a plastic bag over an intern’s head, and they slowly die as the rep shouts “innovate!” Couldn’t find a volunteer to play the intern.
News from next week: Supreme Court, 6-3 allows Trump to proceed with "Ban on Math," which he says will allow him to "Embiggen the Department of Education by smollifying it."
Especially given how many cast members were refugees from Europe. Being in that movie could have had serious consequences for them if things had gone badly.
With bitters.
Not really sure that’s better. Creedal is good! We are a nation dedicated to a proposition! Not an idea and a DNA test!
He must have really struggled to find the word “creole” when he really wanted to say something even cruder and more offensive.
Grok busy trying to figure out how to turn off life support functions for the crew.
Text “STOP” to activate Hammer Time.
The annual 1000 year flood…
It’s a scam! You’ll wind up on a street corner hawking low-grade steel ingots to passing cars!
it’s not insensitive to do something kind for someone who is struggling without centering the struggle itself. it is okay to say “i thought this might be helpful to you, but i’ll fuck off and no hard feelings if it isn’t!” it’s okay to say “i was thinking of you and wanted to do something kind.”
What greater reward is there than a blessing from the King and laying on of hands by his serene majesty? Were their ailments (doubt, skepticism, maybe scrofula) not miraculously cured?
I think my work has made me too cynical. I just read a remembrance of Bill Moyers that said “Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth is a series of six one-hour interviews with Campbell, who died shortly after the interviews were completed.” My first thought was “Did Mr. Moyers fire his weapon?”
Sleep Catnea?
Condolences. It’s never easy.
The three rules of reporting on capitalism: —the rich must always be begged for approval, the poor must follow orders; —the rich only work when happy; the poor only when flogged; and —the votes of the rich are the Word of God, however few. The votes of the poor, however numerous, stink like shit.
Complaining about immigration destroying New York City is like lamenting that gambling has ruined Las Vegas.
Time travelled back to 1954 to murder a guy. Drew the chalk outline but he walked around it. Damn! This is way harder than I thought it would be.
Why am I so unimpressed by these strikes? Israel and the US have failed to target significant elements of Iran's nuclear materials and production infrastructure. RISING LION and MIDNIGHT HAMMER are tactically brilliant, but may turn out to be strategic failures. 🧵 1/17
I once asked some colleagues in DC if nonproliferation was a stopgap to prevent proliferation while we build a global control and abolition regime, or we just pretended it was to keep nukes out of the hands of non-clubable states. They hemmed and hawed pretty hard.
Somewhere, a dog is sad.
Nixon’s Silent Majority is now Trump’s Invisible Majority. “The American people have a right know if their president is a friendless loser. Well, I’m not a friendless loser.”
How old is the video? Any references to Andor season 1? Lost spoilers? You know Bibi’s been planning this since 2010 at least.
Police Dispatcher: The use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.
“Very privately” means …. What? Only 3-4 foreign intel organizations, a conference room full of Doge-faced boys, anyone in hearing range of the speakerphone in the Mar a Lago dining room, and Jeffrey Goldberg?
It’s an unconventional therapy, but whatever works.
Quick! Arrest every teen in America!
JFC. They’ve been peddling this exact same anti-CBO, supply-side “dynamic scoring” horse-bleep since the Reagan era! Since the damn 1980s! They’re always wrong. Headline should be “GOP resurrects zombie lies that got us into this mess before.”
Trying to imagine a single scenario that implicates every one of those issues, and frankly I keep coming up with some RFK jr shroom-induced roadkill spree. Having trouble working the eviction and school phones issue.
When my grandfather worked in that banana factory in Duluth, starting at age eight, he could afford a sod hut and a pair of shoes by the time he died in the Mass Banana-Peel Catastrophe of 1924. Those were the days!
As I was driving down Asylum just east of Steele yesterday I saw a big black bear ambling through Elizabeth Park. WeHa may not be YIMBY but they are BIMBY.
Going to Stop and Shop to buy futures options for milk, bread, eggs. Will hedge by short selling fruits and vegetables and a diversified portfolio of canned goods oh shit I miscalculated
That’s putting a lot of pressure on the FedEx guy.
The only way they’ll make that # is by using purse seine nets. And not the dolphin-safe kind.
Rapid, unscheduled but frankly kind of predictable disassembly.
You’ve Got Mail Which We Have Already Read and You Are on Thin Ice Comrade
Ten Things About You I Would Collectivize
“I did my own punctuation.”
Local dinosaurs dismantling my flower pots (and structural brickwork).
New Star Wars movie pitch: Eitheror. It’s about the hero in the blaster factory who makes sure all the sights are badly calibrated.
True. In Chicago the farm report with Orion Samuelson on WGN was what you watched when you woke up too early. Lots of hog prices. Beautiful midwestern accent.
What I wonder about is his hands. They used to be in constant motion—the accordion move, the raised fingers— now they lie limp. Maybe it’s just the shots they choose, but it struck me.
If life were a cartoon, Trump's face would look like this to the entire world: