double stuffed gooneos
double stuffed gooneos
Smart. Ice cubes are weak. Melt easily. Chewed up. Etc
I like Tony. There is no lie in him.
scotty solved the problem of Xenomorph containment, became a millionaire, and retired to a private scottish sex colony
his penis particles & rich german food clogged the blood vessels in his brain, slowing his thought processes
I bet he has a small weird looking dick
Lots of the best snipers in world war 2 were women
I always thought the monster was gay
lol no I’m not
IRL this has tended to be my experience
these milkers are made for milking and that's just what they'll do one of these days these milkers are gonna milk all over you
Dracula was British
“Frog,” said Toad, “if I wash my dishes right now, then I will not have to wash them tomorrow, will I?” “No,” said Frog. “You will not have to.” Toad washed and dried his dishes. He put them in the cupboard.
In #JapaneseFolklore there is a giant crab #yokai known as kanibozu. These creatures take on the form of priests and move into empty temples. If a new priest arrives to lead the temple the kanibozu demands they answer a riddle & if they can't solve it, they get eaten. #MythologyMonday 🎨Matthew Meyer
Remember when homes were more affordable?
Biscuits are just fucked up waffles
A bunch of sailors back in the day enacted that opening nightclub scene from Blade but with seals
He’s got early 90s tv villain hair
Les Misérables is better than Minecraft.
Imagine being the human equivalent for a blue whale to the worm in rfk’s brain
Mr Rogers used to do JCVD splits before each show
manosphere guys revering Ancient Greek hero Perseus for defeating the female gaze
I drank the Eiffel Tower. It tasted like Zima, butter, and baguette crust
He’s a werewolf but just for his ass
Captain Kirk eating a tribble burrito, utterly indifferent to Uhura and Chekhov’s cries of horror & sobbing
Ordered pancakes at Tiffany’s and the waiter said my order wasn’t racist enough
The construction workers were hooting & hollering as Grimace strolled by, hips swaying. “I hear you boys like hamburgers,” it cood in a husky voice, evocative of cigarettes & big rig cabins. Grimace began its dance
Alternately lean & fleshy, glistening with sweat. His tattoos were super rad. Dinosaurs with guns & huge explosions. Ninjas. No girls. That would be gross. His face angular and chiseled, with a chin sloping downward like a Swiss ski trail. Protuberant watery eyes, like a deer. Classic gamer.
mangos are pooped out by flying unicorns
Hamburger Helper bridge construction tips
Remake of Speed but for eating chips
It should be the law that if you eat one chip you have to finish the bag within 24 hours
Chewbacca suckling ET with one of his 6 ponderous breasts
What if the cheese grilled the bread and tomato’d the soup
BRICS Bolivia Reno Italy Cuba Sea World
The blue aliens crawled out of a giant toilet
the room seeming almost supernaturally quiet after these orgies, I began to congratulate myself
People are saying that bridge trolls are the latest thing
His rice is mid
the danger makes it hotter
a toilet that poops back
I hate Peter Parker
All WASPs know is write bad constitution, protest British taxes, and lie.
watching Alien: Earth and thinking about deviled xenomorph eggs
there could never be protestant new orleans
Holy shit
the resistance sent a tiny terminator after him to keep him from drinking coca cola or dropping acid
My second favorite thing about Alien 3 was the use of flares.
sporting goods stores are a racket. they sell various hatchets & knives, ostensibly effective Bigfoot fighting kit. Yet Bigfoots are too deadly for such weapons, especially poorly manufactured ones.
camping is great
It’s illegal to be heterosexual at taco bell
Ben Franklin would’ve been a fan of coppola’s film for sure
Weird how the founding fathers of america existed pre dracula media
If you gotta evolve something, do it well
Kyle Reese never would’ve committed to fighting the terminator in the 80s if he got to experience the joys of orange julius
Man, people sure eat alot of eggs. Maybe it’s a subconscious revenge impulse against the descendants of the non avian dinosaurs, who preyed on early mammals with impunity
Amish guy with a scythe working in his field accidentally cut the arms off a cloaked predator
my ideas are like a crazed imperial japanese soldier hiding in the South Pacific tropics. the war never ended. Mickey Mouse is still black & white
That’s fair.
No one has sex in Virginia.
Donut frosting started bleeding from the walls
Very true
barbers are anti-vaxxers. "barber" is an oppressive class, like rich people or Juggalo people.
Desserted island
The concept of frogger is extremely ducked up
Pink Floyd....? sounds gay
meat is a contraction of me eat
It was on sale and...
Only if it’s really weird
Vampires can’t enter a home unless they kiss a portrait of Dolph Lundgren
this all tracks. Especially ryan reynolds
rolling one up in the tree star
Planting ass hair in the garden to grow a fresh crop of butts
Never put a guy with two dicks in charge of making the yogurt
Care Bears is better than Pinky and the Brain.
They definitely had some colorful anti Roman slurs back in the day
Burrito taxi for bears
Labor includes pooping. Don’t poop on Labor Day! #nolabordaypoop
Thus Shat Zarathustra
😭😭😭
JSB’s urine, Handel’s handwriting
piss is all in the mind
Sabrina Carpenter should play Princess Irulan in the next Dune movie
Welsh singer Tom Jones’s hit “Sexbomb” (1999) was about the CIS bombardment of the Wookie homeworld Kashykk during the Clone Wars
BREAKING: The Newest season of the hit show “Love Island USA” will feature the Imperial Japanese Battleship Yamato attempting to beach herself as part of Operation Heaven. The Yamato joins F4U Corsairs, SBC2 Helldivers, and F6F Hellcats for what will undoubtedly be an exciting season.
he does
Lutherans know how to party
Asking Chaucer why he couldn’t have written more stories like the Miller’s story instead of boring bullshit or antisemitic garbage
very common
It logically follows.