Dang I was going to make this same joke but for the turn signal.
Certified Public Annoyance
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Dang I was going to make this same joke but for the turn signal.
Rural King: The Canopy that Sounds like a Slur
We can drive it home With one Bud Light. - The Wallflowers "No Headlight"
Frenzied Baloth #GoogleTranslatesMTG
The chef's hat inside the microwave is a bit patronizing. Just let me zap this thing in peace.
Garbanzo Bean 2: This Time It's Chickpeasonal
Who do you think you are? I am!
That was for the North American translation. The original version is much more vulgar.
Haha that was what inspired me to post about The Ring. I'm not sure what's going on there.
I haven't watched The Ring since I turned 18. The antagonist is a literal child so that movie is for children.
This is some of the hardest shit I've seen in my life
Same energy
what's wine cooler than being wine cool? Ice wine! Man that sounded better in my head.
Gun safes are opaque for a reason (nosy spouses)
When During human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them...
There's no ghost in this machine I make my own mistakes - The Faint, 2008
This chart, but for butt cheeks (and a sock for each one).
Yes
"The Frozen Dozen" echoing endlessly in my head until I post it here.
Thank you for this thumbnail, YouTube Shorts. Time to use it for other things.
tongue unrolling down the steps like a gd red carpet.
The "Ladybug Strawberry Lemonade" is not just a cute name.
fittingly taking this from the going out of business sale
Every time someone posts they receive a small* electrical shock to confirm their humanity. *large
To be read as a "mid" distance run.
The full 30 minutes of Cassandra Gemini is one of my favorite things to put on for a mid distance run.
I came into this establishment wearing this meat dress, thank you very much.
Let me tell you why you're wrong 🧵1/5000-20000
i miss it terribly
"I signed the contract"
Singing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore in my head while waiting for my potato to bake, but it's the Simpsons version with Sideshow Bob because I've never seen the real thing.
90s message board signature: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy Me, aged 8 (clueless): heh.
Sleep Now In the Fire? ... sounds cozy
I clicked the link and now I'm getting ads for it. Thank you?
Backwards Long Jump
yes yes we all love Sephiroth-posting, but have you ever sat down and tried Sephiroth-listening?
You've got it, Toyota!
Love it. Long line this morning at the chariot-thru.
chuckling to myself as I type my email address into the free newsletter registration form, then click "no thanks" instead of "sign up". got another one.
pro tip: if only one eye is red and puffy, gently lift your upper eyelid and place a Claritin under it
macnult delivers!
Betty: what time is it? Me: "..." Betty: when is dinner? Me: "..." I'm sure the article is some kind of bean dad apologia.
half way, then I'd be going out of the woods!
the only good driver is a distracted driver
waiting wait bated breath for you to finish your dang dinner and post the album
my park doesn't have a disc golf course so we just throw at the charcoal grills
whoever invented the double cheeseburger was really cooking
Teenage me honored this nation by downloading and playing Defend the WTC custom StarCraft maps.
they also love The Vandals youtu.be/2Sfg68aTRsY?...
I woke my wife up laughing at this, then had to explain why I thought it was so funny (I couldn't).
all-timer.
please enter dadministrator password
When I was a kid someone told me that if a hummingbird stopped flapping its wings it would burst into flames. This seems like a good way to test out that hypotheses.
Everclear and cane sugar.
you got it boss
Hey we saw you from across the bar and really like your vibe.
way ahead of you, my man
About to do some real stupid stuff with free horchata
I never had any illusions that Marilyn Mansion was an upstanding citizen, but I was starting to get into his music in the months leading up to the 2021 Rolling Stone article... I can't listen to his music any more, which is a shame because there's some interesting concept albums and real bangers.
evening delight!
After Lady Eboshi shoots the forest spirit Jigo looks at her and exclaims, "I CANNOT believe that just happened!"
Sephirothworking
it's called an eephus cuz it makes all of "us" go "eeph!"
homestar runner net worth
Tell that lefty that they're going to break my thumbs if the first pitch of the fourth inning isn't a ball.
This soda cost me 2$.85
They're not like special bottles for urine that you buy off of Amazon, you can repurpose any old bottle.
we just had the Penis Game. it wasn't until I met my wife that I learned it could be disguised as the Happiness Game
If you set your microwave timer for greater than 15 minutes it should pop up and "Are You Sure?!" warning. If you hit Yes it should explode immediately.
That's a very small number of women online, if you think about it.
The Torment Nexus now has flats!
"Mairzy Doats" songwriter Milton Drake in hot water after claiming that they are "bigger than FDR."
It is once again, that time
Arguably too much uwu
Whattryou thinking about? Oh, just death stuff.
I've got some apples you can throw at him.
It could be her head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that her feet were two sizes too small. (and that's okay)
Broccoli haircuts aren't very aerodynamic for running away, but they do provide a bit of a cushion when you perform a picture perfect football tackle on them.
of equal concern is the "shrunken prostate"
now it's the other way around!
kickflip crooks, kickflip back lip to fakie, active erica to fakie, front blunt, front crunt... youtu.be/zQ6CHEmyoIM?...
in canis corpore transmewtwo
why put pennies in sink at hotel
If you can't spot the summertime summertime sadness in your first half hour at the table, then you HAVE the summertime summertime sadness.
Was that some kind of scratcher material so you didn't pre-judge the flavor before eating it?! I am genuinely impressed by the dedication.
I never remember anyone's name because when they're telling me their name I'm practicing saying my own name in my head.
We're hundreds of miles from the nearest ocean, so we have to pay people to collect the car batteries and make a monthly trip.
Well-wisher: Thoughtseize the day! Me: *discards a card* Well-wisher: *loses 2 life*
yuengling squared
oh brother, where art thine bathroom?
Rex Kwon Do?
Olibya would be a beautiful name for a girl (from Libya).
Many of my younger coworkers have no idea who Hulk Hogan is, and that's a good thing. The kids are alright.
Soulless Joe Jackson
Sometimes there can be a shoehorned catchphrase, too! Bongzingle!
