Timmy Two-Eyes

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Normal people absolutely do not suck their wounds.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Mine did.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

One of my childhood bullies is in prison for murder and another died of a rare disease and it's so satisfying.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

No one wants a sour sausage for supper.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Service is extra.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

And as we all know, gay people don't exist...

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

"Oh, my!"

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

How is everyone surprised that the evil corporation chose money? This isn't news.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh fuck off, I bet you're insufferable.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

At least it's probably true.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

That's what I was hoping to find lol

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

You seen it, did you?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Some people don't enjoy strange dogs running up to them. He's gonna be maced or worse someday.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

That doesn't make you less of a fucking terrible person.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Sometimes there were inscriptions from parents and such. Whenever I could get away with it, I'd put them on shelves anyway.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I worked at a charity shop. It may not be the way they do it everywhere, but the rule there was if a book, journal, or notebook had a significant amount of writing in it, it was tossed. Made me very sad.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

(the fess is cheating)

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

That's not a fess. It's literally right there in the request: patient privacy.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Oldest urban legend of all time. Try harder.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I like being out in nature 🤷

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Do you think she can't feel the obvious body heat?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

"I actually fell for the 'Free Shipping!' scam."

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Why the AI slop?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

George, honey. Please stop using personal attacks on these people. There is plenty to attack them about. Don't lower yourself.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

BUT SHOPPING IS WIMMINS WORK

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I can't believe people even touch those grotty flexible petri dishes.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh what a cat ass-trophe!

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Tell your fuckhead neighbour to keep his cat inside. I love cats but they're devastating to the ecosystem.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Superb.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Why the absolute fuck would you want that?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Is that you, Wilson?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

While he's still in bed, get up to pee and look for prescription bottles.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I MEANT WATER POLO AND JAZZ SINGING

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Why though

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

m.youtube.com/shorts/aXOMH...

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Good. You deserve it, ya shit cunt

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

My little secret is telling them to fuck off and turning off the camera. If they need to see me with my cock out, they can come to my house.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Hell yeah! My second-favorite Luigi!

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social)

Trump basically said that that Russia can keep most of the land they've occupied lol. What a fucking psychopath.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Not an English teacher lol

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Isn't that the whole point of the rating system? This isn't really a fess.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Who cares? Move on if it's so heinous.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

With friends like these...

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Do adults fist bump?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Sorry :/

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Seriously though that's a fucking terrible story 😢

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Ding dong. Ditch.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Fuck eating healthy. We're just gonna die anyway.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

*Hit you with a breeze block

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Ancient joke.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I don't think that will be a problem.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Your cock just fell into her, did it? Accidentally. The fess here is actually that you're a piece of festering shite with a warm glaze of wank.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh that's lovely!

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Ha!

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

But they are mature enough to not make them their personality.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Early sign of psychopathy. Good on you.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Where'd the blanket come from?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I think nonce is gaining traction elsewhere online.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

So your cooking is shit. Got it.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Problem is that if I don't, it just ends up being a picture of a tribble eating an acorn.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

May as well jump off a bridge at this point.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Do you think we can't chemically discern urine from sweat?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Out sitting, surely

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Always knew I was a wanker

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

"I'm nearly forty and fantasise about college kids"

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

You can't admit to a day to yourself? Christ why do these people get married?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

But the fesser's meaning was clearly "underpants".

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Yes

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Want would they say pants if they meant shorts?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Jesus

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Hey I don't judge.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Americans are welcome to fess too

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

You're both morons lol

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

And he's single, believe it or not!

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Fuck you

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

If only there was a way...

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Tramps need to poo somewhere.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

AND TAKE YOUR COAT

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I assume that sometimes the motion gets things moving where there wasn't an obvious need before leaving.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

2 is only prime on a technicality. I do not recognise 2's authority.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

One assumes he only wants to read good books.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

A stupid misconception based upon no one actually reading those tags.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Do you not know what a confession is?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

What's a nice way of saying "I hope you fucking die"?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

It's a fucking PUBLIC HOUSE. You don't get to call dibs on a stool. Fuck that guy.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Not beating them to a pulp for terrible behaviour is why our generation's kids are the fucking worst. No consequences.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Breathing bone dust causes cancer lol

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Thrilling

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

The fess is being a fucking mong

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

That sounds pretty strong to me 😭

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I think I must be a little thick because I don't get it.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Definitely possible.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

What, is the sink out of order?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

At only 45?

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Fucking metal

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

I use a metal folding chair.

Timmy Two-Eyes (@whyishecalledthat.bsky.social) reply parent

Do you not have any money of your own to spend on a shower head?