When people get married, they should exchange scars instead of rings. It feels more on point. Much more bad-ass to be a knife-bearer than a ring-bearer. It's permanent and you won't lose it in the garbage disposal.
Wrouser. Yes, I know I’m not funny. 🤷♂️
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When people get married, they should exchange scars instead of rings. It feels more on point. Much more bad-ass to be a knife-bearer than a ring-bearer. It's permanent and you won't lose it in the garbage disposal.
Can't help but wonder how many captured this on their cell phone. I mean, it had to be seen by more than one person. Some probably didn't wait at all - it just happened.
Ha! I saw the episode where she was talking about the microwave beep about 5 minutes before I saw your post.
Hey, Buford...any ideas for a sequel?
You only get your nest if you watch the documentary.
I am, indeed, nervous.
A regular Roz Gruber.
why am i hearing whos?
We have a commander-in-chief that watches solar eclipses without glasses.
Interesting. You don't usually hear much about quaker-related violence.
Once you’re done with this fight, go after the cornflake cereals!
No idea what you’re talking about but that clip always makes me laugh. Thanks. Be careful out there, watercolorists! Sounds dangerous!
So, to get a vaccine now, I may have to find the doctor that approved my medical marijuana prescription back in the day? Dr. Greenbud! Paging Dr. Greenbud! Vaccine needed for patient with a history of back pain and anxiety!
Is he out scouting for Jedi?
Bet it would be nice to have a last name that starts with ‘Z’ when sorting groups of people alphabetically. “All the ‘Z’s line up here.” While all the Not-Zs line up somewhere else.
All you really need is a boss that implements an open layout office touting the cross-pollination of ideas…and then proceeds to work from home.
Cadabra has always sounded to me like the bra one wears in their final resting place.
gluttony, greed, sloth, lust, pride, envy, wrath, rebranding A sequel to ‘Seven’ is in the works. The working title is ‘Ate’. Brad Pitt set to return! What’s in the Barrel? What’s in the Barrel?! #crackerbarrel #wtfuck
Did I say Ten? I meant Nine.
Also Fun Fact (maybe) Elephants have something similar to the Vulcan Pon Farr called 'Musth'. Must you? Yes, I musth.
It’s midnight and my neighbor is mowing their lawn. So many questions.
Finding myself yelling at clouds whenever someone refers to ‘xennials’. I mean, all of these generational categories are made up and meaningless, but ‘xennials’ seems somehow mader upper and meaninglesser.
Oh look, a circle jerk in the oval office.
No tip for her either, apparently.
I like to buy growlers of croutons, but I wouldn't name a restaurant after it.
The OK Four. Has a good ring to it, I think.
Ahmadayus, Ahmadayus. Ahhhmadayus.
Are you the monster at the end of this freaking book?
Good product. Bad label.
Pass the salt, this trail indicates snails.
Cool. When do you leave and when do you get back? What's your address? Where do you keep your spare key? Do you have any cameras or dogs?
Did you mean: The president is a ball sack with a comb-over? ...and that's how AI can prove its worth as a technology to enrich our lives. Why, yes. Yes I did mean, 'ball sack with a comb-over'. Thank you, Gemini.
If a disemboweled djinn pops out, I'd wish for him to be boweled again.
Doatnut
Woah. Where's the fuzzy channel where if you turn the antenna just right, you might see a boob? There is some strong gravity on that website - barely made it out of there.
I don't know what's happening.
It's fun to get Alexa to say these places. Here's the longest place name: www.reddit.com/r/interestin...
I've dated a few Ms. Right Nows.
Had a similar thought years ago. But it was Polly Holliday and she said, 'kiss my tits'. No baby oil though, weirdo.
Attorney Specific.
Cathedral Roan
Always fun to learn about someone because they've been banned. Will follow once she returns.
Hey, let's replace the deep state with a shallow state.
Rockies getting off to a slow start. They'll find their groove.
oh...that is a good show.
The montage where his wife dies is very sad.
This one is a two-fer.
Liver
Wondering if they had to choose field trip buddies.
a bath?
Singing songs from Hamilton I presume?
The fuck?
S.E.M. (Slow Eye Movement)
No, Ghislaine. You can't go back to your old Sex Trafficking position for your work release. Or, maybe you can. What the hell do I know; they let you get this far. Release the Epstein files!
Nom. Nom nom nomity nom.
This just feels like someone that is planning to stay around a lot longer than 4 years.
Twice I did this today.
Patel has stripped the FBI of its gravitas. If a show like The X-Files came out today, it would have a better chance of succeeding if Mulder and Scully worked for a special department of mall security assigned to investigate Hot Topic and Spirit Halloween.
I'm *cough* *cough* lovin' *cough* *cough* it!
middle distance
Makes me want a hot dog real bad.
weird
No 'handhelds' for people with no hands with which to hold. Friggin' Ableists.
Is that Dean Cain?
What bizarre universe are we living in where a criminal becomes president and believes his mandate is to go after the judges and prosecutors that held him accountable? This is really messed up.
Which one was Dean Cain?
Hey, who said that?
Tucson? More like Onehundredandsevenson, am I right? (sorry)
BBB now stands for Bloody Big Balls.
Been a while, eh?
It'd be hilarious if someone's family Crest was a tube of toothpaste, yes?
The underlying eroticism of this thread is palpable.
Where's the trophy pic? I want to see him limp and draped across the Cape Buffalo's horns as it flashes a big shit-eating grin.
While you are there, ask Jesus to heal your daughter-in-law and grandchild.
Can't stand her, but when did she say this?
Bread alert.
You committed to one and then you decided to have two. I now understand why they call it a waffle.
How much time is this going to save you if you just follow it around all day taking video?
Welp. My joke fell flat.
Hey. Who said that?
How did you kiss your forehead? Impressive.
Was it heavy?
I live in the dystopia of Landworld.
Funny. Needed. Thank you.
The future is going to be a dusty dystopia.
Found out on a hot mic that a co-worker has a cat named 'Jesus Fuck'. It apparently likes to spring onto his keyboard during zoom meetings.
Funny. Thanks.
Couldn't watch more than a few seconds because the camera work was making me sea sick, but you look good...you be you.
A 'tactical' pause? "Hey, how do we keep them alive while we reload?"
Hey, that's...um, what's the word? Neat.
Would you like some ice? Ice, baby? - Needy boyfriend from the 90's.
'Moist' and 'Nickelback' ... neither deserve such hate. People hate these things because people hate these things.
Saw them with U2 and Public Enemy a very long time ago. Nice find.
My favorite version of the Fantastic Four.
Is killing the bad guy with an exposed radius bone uppercut to the brain a new trend? I've seen it twice this week on two different shows.
I just assumed the other kids on the playground at Catholic school were in on the joke. Years later I reconnected with some of them on Facebook. Even the kid that would pull his dick out on the school bus was now very devout. Actually, that one sort of tracks now that I think about it.
I see you both got the beard memo as well.
Yeah, but reading them is a salve for loneliness.
Imagine having to ride that thing when you are in a bad mood.