Allison Hantschel
@athenae.bsky.social
Media for DAME magazine. She/her. Co-founder, First-Draft.com. Alumna of The Daily Cardinal.
created June 23, 2023
2,123 followers 329 following 3,971 posts
view profile on Bluesky Posts
CHOAM Nomsky (@samthielman.com) reposted
anyway it’s shocking that no one was able to predict that when the George W. Bush administration gave itself unreviewable powers to murder and imprison people, those powers were eventually going to get used intentionally on noncombatants
the abbot of unreason (an archaeologist) (@merovingians.bsky.social) reposted
this is the first time a major Democratic elected has actually told his supporters what they can do in the face of this as far as I can tell
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
As somebody with loved ones in material harm's way if Trump's invasion comes to pass, I welcome any resistance from leadership at this point. I don't think it's so much what "lefties" want as it is a genuine attempt to reassure frightened communities he has a long sincere track record of working in.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Is he stuffing walnuts in his face for winter?
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
He looks like Chris Elliott ate Machine Gun Kelly.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Shorter Pritzker: Come and take it, you coward motherfuckers.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Thank God investors poured all that money into reinventing journalism so that Ben Smith could continue to fart out the same nonsense as the next ten white boys in line.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Like if he wasn't fugly on the inside he'd still be a bin raccoon, but it might look slightly charming instead of like maybe he's picking bits of half-eaten bugs out of those face pubes.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Every single one of these ten-a-penny fascisti looks like he spends a lot of time gesturing for women to take their earbuds out.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
The Iraq war would like a word.
Punish the villains (@internethippo.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
Every conservative principle that could have merit is already represented in the mainstream Democratic Party, not to mention fully abandoned by conservatives themselves. What's left? Bigotry, sadism, tantrums over corporate logos. This is what you're trying to find common ground with
Coach Finstock (@coachfinstock.bsky.social) reposted
This is why I found it so funny the ivys and snob schools rolled over so fast and got double fucked for doing it. These are the same people getting duped putting 50 grand in a shoebox. Rich and priveleged Americans are the easiest people to scam and bully because they've never deal with it before.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
I keep saying this. We did not "become" divided. Fascism did not "rise." This wasn't the weather. People did this to us on purpose for money and by God they should be held to account.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
I do this with books. That thin, hard crust of deep winter is when I re-read Trinity. "The goal of the brotherhood is to sharpen its teeth and die hard."
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
They do hate joy in all its forms, don't they.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Jake Tapper you up?
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Pope Bob keeps pissing off the Opus Dei freaks.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Guys if we nuked a whole city crime would be down there, too! I'm a genius, elect me world mayor president so I can sign an executive order outlawing sidewalks.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Crime was super down during early Covid, too. That fuckin ruled, right?! SO FUN.
Kate Watson (@loreandordure.com) reposted
Ok, hear me out. A Lord of the Rings re-make, but with these two taking the One Ring to Mordor:
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
I will die mad about this.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
OH MY GOD
The Intercept (@theintercept.com) reposted
“It does not matter if you’re a citizen, here on a green card, or visiting Las Vegas for the weekend — you shouldn’t have to fear retaliation because the government doesn’t like what you have to say.”
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
This is why I keep saying that arguing is pointless. They're performing. You can't argue someone out of a part they're playing.
Kashana (@kashana.bsky.social) reposted
Live your life such that everyone doesn’t spend ten solid years planning the rager they’re going to throw when you die.
Amos Posner (@amosposner.bsky.social) reposted
JD Vance asking to be invited into a city feels really on the nose after Sinners
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Like just the ability to weather things (friend breakups, work crises, major life changes) that would have flattened me otherwise, that alone is worth the price of admission and the extra 20 pounds.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Fuck RFK Jr., fuck everyone who voted for him, fuck everyone who voted for the people who put him in power, and most of all fuck his fucking outlook that this isn't medicine, that this doesn't save lives. It does.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
And I hate to think that people, without the resources that I have, will have to jump through extra hoops or get inferior medicines or even do a single goddamn thing differently because of this saddle-skinned motherfucker who already did all the drugs and now doesn't want anyone else to have any.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
When I stopped taking the drugs in 2020, because my busted brain told me they weren't working anymore and I should blow up my life, every single thing I'd experienced before them came roaring back. All at once. 20 years of it. That sucked.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
My OBGYN, the most chill person on the planet who was excellent about cutting through woo-woo bullshit, said under no circumstances should your child have a bug-fuck parent, take your fucking pills like a grownup and don't apologize for staying alive for your kid.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
People told me to go off them when I was pregnant, or when I was still futilely trying to breastfeed, and my response was always "do you think any of this will be improved by Crazy Mommy Who Wants to Jump in the River because that's where THAT would lead."
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Yeah, I was super lucky that the first one I tried worked. We've adjusted the dose several times, of course. I'm very glad you're okay. You make the world better.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
I have fought with so many people about these medications, because they think like this hot dog meat fraud does. I have fought with actual doctors who wanted me to taper off, who worried about blood pressure or weight gain or just wanted me to run marathons instead (true story, fuck that guy).
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
That was 22 years ago. In all of that time I have only been off these drugs once, at the start of the pandemic. IT DID NOT GO WELL FOR ANYONE.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Three weeks after I started the meds, I was in a hotel room in San Diego and I woke up and felt ... okay. I could think about, like, going to breakfast and going to the airport later, without having to write down step by step what I'd be doing that day and rehearsing it.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
I thought the same bullshit about antidepressants as everyone does. They'll change my personality (Christ, if only) or they'll make me a zombie or the most insidious: I need my pain in order to fuel my creativity. But the depression wouldn't let me work either, so there I was.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
I will never forget the doctor who looked me as I sat shaking in her office in 2003, unable to work, unable to unclench my hands, unable to eat or sleep or think clearly enough to drive. She said to me, "You don't have to live like this." And prescribed me the SSRI drugs that saved my life.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Let's agree to disagree and deport half the baby!
Michael Hobbes (@michaelhobbes.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
You'd think journalists would brag about something like, "We stood with Palestine early, when it was wildly unpopular, because we knew it was right." But nope! In 2025 you earn kudos by bragging about how nice you were to each other while you abandoned any pretense of having moral values.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Like that is drug dealer behavior.
Lizzy B. (@twolemonades.com) reposted
I've got a line on a director/senior manager-level field marketing role. If you/someone you know is looking, hmu..
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Figured out the appointment slots released at midnight and stayed up to get a friend's parents slots when NONE were available.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Don't be indecent, Michael. Remember there are ladies at this bar.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
We are both Catholic but he's real dumb.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
This should be the end of the Eat Pray Love industrial complex and yet.
Derek Powazek (@fraying.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
If I ever die from gun violence and some asshole on TV uses it as an excuse to talk about Jesus, I want you to drive my body to his house and throw me at him.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Luckily I have The Crazy and am overweight and smoked SEVERAL cigarettes in college so thank you, broken brain and potato chips and Camel Straights!
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh don't worry, they want to bring back those deaths, too.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Thank you. After Sandy Hook a relative posted that stupid nihilistic meme about how this happens in schools because "God isn't allowed in school" and I am physically sitting on my hands right now not to drive to his house and scream this headline in his smug fucking face.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
This is how you react, every single time. Blame every single Republican politician in the goddamn country. They're all complicit and counting on you to listen to them bleat about decency while they allow this and every other kind of gun violence to proceed unhindered.
Claire Willett (@clairewillett.bsky.social) reposted
IT DOESN’T IT DOESN’T DO THAT AT ALL IT REFRAMES PREVENTABLE DEATHS AS INEVITABLE AND VICTIMS AS WILLING MARTYRS WHO ARE ACTUALLY BETTER OFF DEAD NOW IT IS A DIABOLICAL THING TO SAY IF YOU ARE IN A POSITION TO STOP THIS SHIT AND REFUSING TO DO IT
Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi.bsky.social) reposted
There are tons of graphic novels, academic papers, film and TV scripts, & prose novels/nonfiction on the LibGen list Anthropic used. As settlement approaches, make it easy for the class action lawyers to contact you! Here’s how Part 1: is your work in Libgen? www.theatlantic.com/technology/a...
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
I am in favor of the government paying a whole shitload of people to pick up litter, fix broken stuff, help the homeless and mentally ill find services, and generally blanket disadvantaged neighborhoods with the help they deserve to look and feel safe. That's not whatever the fuck this is.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Apparently you cannot get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich after all.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
He is in fact the crypto president. Fake wealth propped up by criminals and perverts, completely useless in the real world, and an absolute joke to anyone who knows anything about anything.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
It's definitely the least horrible thing about him.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
They've been saying basically this for 30 years as we were told we were overreacting.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Inside you there are 27 ferrets.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Christ, Portnoy is younger than me and I do not live what anyone would call a healthy lifestyle but ... my dude.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Reddit would have been easier for them to get, considering how many of them were getting in print-based flame wars under aliases while drunk.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
I mean there's no real reason for America's blue state governors NOT to compete for pussy like this, really.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
"Send the ravens. Send them all."
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
He has eleventy squillion dollars and no fucks at all.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh Christ like six.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
At least one good one, or two if they allowed remote work from smaller markets WHICH THEY SHOULD instead of parachuting their stars in to do Cletus safaris.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
An itchy skin suit.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
And this isn't "deportation." It's fucking kidnapping. Trafficking. Jesus Christ what do they have to do before reporters stop using their words.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
"Two chicks have a baby any number of ways including adopting one or getting someone to grow 'em one, and we can go into more detail if you want or we can get some popcorn" is a hell of a lot easier to cue up, fuck.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Then she asked the real question, which was "when are you and Daddy going to die?" And I said we're doing everything we can to make sure it's a very long time from now. Which is why I go to the gym like it's my goddamn job.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
I wedged myself into her little bed nook next to her and said, "Some people die when they're very old because their body wears out. And some people die in accidents, or because they get too sick for doctors to fix. Everyone is different because we all have different bodies."
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm a semi-practicing Catholic, but I also find platitudes about heaven and being with Jesus to be absolutely toxic, so I was kinda stuck. (And if I'd said Nana was with Jesus she'd just have demanded to see Him about it, she was a Karen at this age).
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
The toughest question my kid, then four, asked me was after her Nana died, and it was "how long do persons live?" at bedtime after a truly awful 18 hour day. I do not lie to my child about stuff like this but I also knew "Mama has no idea" was gonna freak her out more.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Or "why did [relative who is always nice to me] vote for Trump?" THAT was a tough one.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
This was my little cousin's reaction. "If I have to do that when I get married, I'm not going to get married." Yes, that story was told at her wedding.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Talked to a nurse over the weekend who was like "he's 100 percent on dialysis and the White House Ballroom project is to make sure nobody can be in there when he gets it." And if Joe Biden outlives him I'm going to duel Jake Tapper in the parking lot.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Outlive the motherfuckers just out of spite!
Bradford Vivian (@bradvivian.bsky.social) reposted
Yep. Been trying to emphasize this point for a long time. Huge portions of public discourse about college students are almost fictional.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Christ it hasn't even been a year.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
The Great Khan decrees, TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
It's the first cool evening in months, and all the neighbors are out. Fire pits, backyard movies, the block's resident Fun Uncle, who drives a Slingshot to block parties and lets kids make vroom vroom noises in it. Imagine being shitty and small enough to hate a place like this. Good god.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
He has big "I don't do cardio" energy.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Half my convos with the Republicans in my life are just saying the following: That isn't true. That didn't happen. Nobody does that. Seriously, what?!
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Also, most of the TERF demographic has met maybe one trans person in their whole lives, and this is all carefully orchestrated bullshit funded out of some strip mall in Sarasota and people should flat out be told more often that they're just being lied to by the GOP's biggest gaping assholes.
HistorySock (@historysock.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
The latest in our never ending series of "Arsonists sadly reflect on the consequences of fires they started"
norbizness (@norbizness.bsky.social) reposted
When covering the President and his cohorts we don't like to gratuitously insert loaded terms like "convicted perjurer" or "quid pro quo," we like to say "muscular truth-bender" and "free market activity."
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Pro-violent christ what a tool
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Hey remember how Trump was basically the Shadow President during the Biden Administration? Why isn't Joey on the morning news every day reacting to Trump's every word? Or Kamala? Assignment editors, feel free to chime in.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
There were blissful days during Biden's presidency when I forgot Trump existed. Days at a time. It was glorious.
Funranium (AKA Phil Broughton) (@funranium.bsky.social) reposted
This is a heartwarming story. Huge Dudes 4 The Community are very important. They also often have trucks and move furniture like nobody’s business to get folks back on their feet.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
The organizer women in my neighborhood have been in the streets for 50 years. Nothing scares them.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social)
Using "woke" as a stand-in for "change" makes even less sense than all the other ways these people use "woke." Nothing about the new logo is "woke!" It's just ... new.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
"Are you a lady, MISTER KENT?!!"
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
He's chewing so much scenery in that movie and it's GREAT.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Pope Bob is also taking his earrings off right now.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
I love her so much.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
Like you just have to picture the walking embodiment of a Ditka jersey, ready to throw down so that poor and cold and frightened people could get something to eat and sleep a night or two in peace. Chicago isn't gonna be scared by this.
Allison Hantschel (@athenae.bsky.social) reply parent
And everybody in line to drop off coats and socks is like oh boy, here we go, & the protest grandmas are taking their earrings off. These guys go up to our priest and say, loudly enough for the whole block, "Father, you have any problems around here, you call us. We'll get rid of those jagoffs."