I’ve been trapped like this for over an hour
I’ve been trapped like this for over an hour
I adore how sickly he looks. How sickly he looks makes me feel all warm and happy inside.
I should go get one
I have a nice bottle waiting.
Me too!!!!
when it happens... there will be a celebration
We're trying to manifest something here
PLEASE BE DEAD
i have to imagine that vance said “god forbid” with a huge wink
👍 love
Thousands of DC residents chanting “fuck Jeff Bezos” outside of the P Street Whole Foods
Oh come ON
It will be a joyful day
Trumps obituary is the most anticipated event in human history! 😂
But some of them are too slow.
Couldn't love Jack White more. Thanks for posting this.
And it was worth it, because everyone says the Oval Office looks like dogshit now!
It's important to remember what social media really is: the worst means of stress management ever invented
Same!!!
I have exactly one bottle of champagne in my fridge just for this purpose.
Some incredibly good news: One year ago this week, The Onion returned to print. In that one year, we’ve grown to the 13th largest print newspaper in the United States, just ahead of the Boston Globe, and growing fast. In short, it’s working. So… thank you. Thank you for helping save this thing.
Vance and Hegseth are meeting with National Guard troops in DC as protesters loudly chant "Free DC!"
Really, any sentient vegetables.
I am also begging seniors to avoid eating sentient bananas
How I wish I could see the expression on Karoline Leavitts face when she realizes she's in hell
the hottest man i have seen in a year just cleaned out his whole car to give all the change to a homeless man at the 7-11 and then got in, sat for 2 minutes and got back out and gave him the two hotdogs he just bought
Him walking away from America on fire is sort of perfect, to be fair.
Amazing
Maybe the most literal instance of “no matter where you think this is going, it isn’t“ I have ever seen
Andrew Cuomo campaigning for mayor is like Sisyphus if the boulder he was pushing never went up, just further down an infinite incline, but he was allowed to quit at any time, except he won't because his dad was good at boulder-pushing and he thinks that alone should get him to the top of the hill.
Nailed it
WHAT DA FUCK - dashare.zone ADMIN
Yes more please!
Now worried about reports that Emerald Fennell is directing the next Paddington film
Why did you show this to me Michael?
Was looking for a different screengrab for a different post but saw this and realized it was better than whatever the hell I was going to come up with
*NEVER* piss off the A/V geeks running things.
someone hacked the audio system and started playing circus music as she was talking and i am WHEEZING
What do you want to know, I'll tell you everything. (Me being interrogated by this cat.)
Sometimes all we need is a hug 🫂
There's no bad publicity, I guess
It's also never sarcoidosis.
I guess the cops can only bring out the tear gas, flash-bang devices and pepper spray for protests against police brutality 🫠
bsky.app/profile/them...
Basically, treat some people as %100 honest and trustworthy, regardless of how often and to what degree they have bumbled and lied their way through life, and treat other people as inherently dishonest, inflating any minor infraction, real or perceived, as representive of their character.
I dream of an America where being a political reporter does not require pretending to have the intelligence and object permanence of a golden retriever www.nytimes.com/2024/11/27/h...
Yoiks
Deedra Meero says free Palestine
That lady rules for standing up to those masked goons. The masked goons are villains doing wrong and they know it.
Anyway total props to this So-Cal athleisure badass
“If you’re doing something right then taking your fucking mask off then”
I think they see themselves wholly in opposition to cars, so pedestrians are gnats to them, not people with an equal right to fully enjoy the path.
Had to lookup MAMIL and I love it. I have been calling them all Lance for the last 10+ years.
Some fucking MAMIL blasted past me on a shared-use path and indicated with his hands that I shouldn’t be wearing headphones while jogging. This has happened twice in the past month and I feel like I am losing my mind. Is this even controversial? Like 95% of joggers have headphones on!
Funny that Repubs want to talk to Ghislane, who has every reason to lie for a pardon, but no mention at all about talking to any of Epsteins victims. Wonder why that is?
Oh holy shiz yes THIS!
Colbert 2028
LOVE HIM
comrade ken youtu.be/osGSAMk64R0?...
Also notable: Katie Miller has removed "wife of Stephen M" from her Twitter bio, as well as the Elon rocket from her cover photo
NYT readers 7/16/25: not eating enough protein, sharpening their knives incorrectly
Yes. Was saying the other day it’s similar to JFK in that sense. A straightforward recitation of what’s definitively known about Oswald sounds completely deranged and implausible.
LOL
ONLY IN NEW YORK (referring to something that happens in literally every city)
Thank you for explaining! Now I'm thinking that FREE BEES isn't so much a giveaway, as a protest against bee imprisonment. And I, for one, am against that
I just watched this episode last night! 🐝🐝🐝
He’s on the list people!
I do seem to remember that, yeah.
Why is this so funny 🤣
I will forgive the guy bellowing at the screen throughout the movie tonight, I will forgive him just about anything, because the first thing he said, in reaction to Superman's first entrance, which is very dramatic and is followed by a hush of silence, was: "OH SHIT IT'S SUPERMAN"
TEAM COKE
Oh my god
Hells no, no no no no no!
OMG these comments are all GOLD, I'm dying 😂
Boims!! I love them both so much. 💗
important point in this useless discourse -- to say "I'm gonna bloviate about Rosie O'Donnell" is not "strategy," it's exactly what a child would do. the child does it until the parent stops taking the bait. in this analogy we are the parents, and we are not doing our job.
Sign me up!
I just want to live in Star Trek where Sisko’s dad ran a New Orleans cuisine restaurant because it’s what he loved doing.
I've always hated how one career can be so overvalued (eg finance) and another undervalued (teachers, artists, etc). If you are working full time you should be able to support yourself no matter what you do.
Exactly. MLK Jr said it's not the work that makes a job menial -- it's the pay. It's incredibly important for hospitals to be clean, for example, so custodians should be paid a living wage!
my view is that everyone should be able to earn a living wage doing whatever it is they like. if you love working in a bookshop, you should be able to live a comfortable life doing so. if you loving being a barista, the same. and if you want to do more traditional blue collar work, that’s cool too!
I love when he says “A lot of people don’t know________” Which translates into everybody knows this but me
An official government version of the Charlottesville white nationalist tiki parade
This is one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen
Anyone who’s ever worked a job they’ve hated should know better. If you adore your manager, you try to help them, even if you don’t like the job. You still signed up to work there. Not necessarily true if the opposite.
Swimming around today has reminded me that swimming is the best, actually. It’s my favorite thing. Why don’t I do it every single day like I used to?? I am a fool.
My friend Eric disagrees.
Adrien Brody won best actor for movie year 2002 for his performance in the Pianist. But I believe it should've gone to Matthew Lillard for playing Shaggy in Scooby Doo. It's technically incredible. And it feels like somehow, on a deep level, he GETS Shaggy.
ds 
