I am in awe
Witch, wordsmith, midwife of emotions. Terminally online, vehemently anti-AI. DCTID. Always follows the #1 Rule of the Casual Criminalist. Any mansplaining incurs a fee of $50. Unblocking fee $100. "If you don't want to be in a poem, don't fuck a poet."
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I am in awe
Q: but what if a full Epstein investigation also takes down Bill Clinton????? A:
Mia Jesus fucking Christ lmao
Beans are sacred
I have not been asked on a date since the Obama administration and y'all never stop & stare or even notice me when I'm put together nicely so this is how I know y'all do not have intentions to compliment or admire me with this behavior! I was not born yesterday and Mama did not raise a fool!!
Like here's the thing: if I am exiting the grocery in a boring tanktop and shorts with at least THREE mixed patterns amongst my accessories, I'm gonna assume you've stopped dead in your tracks & turned around to give me stink-eye for masking, not that I'm attractive bc I know I look like hot trash.
I actually think it should be swiftly illegal for men to stare at me unless I actively look nice that day, bc if I don't look nice, I can only assume the worst intentions from them
YESSSSSSS oh I am so happy for you, I hope it is an amazing offer way higher than you expected
Beware of people determined to fix things that are working. Some people value their fingerprints on the vase more than the vase.
once a-fucking-gain, if you're trans and you shit on other trans people for not being "trans enough," you're a bootlicking bottom feeder. you're a creature unworthy of your birthright and you get the gom jabbar
Does Tree Grandpa come in adult sizes bc I have a mighty need
Tree Grandpa is a SUPERB name
👏
Obv this should be Gradient Becard
“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm” of course you do. You’re twelve. “I don’t want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal” hell yeah homie you’re twelve. “Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army” bless your heart my twelve year old buddy
working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"
Oh yes, the ADHD Special. I'm pre-equipped with that, no worries
Hey uhhhhh do you take requests; I thought I had a pretty well-organizes calendar but you've managed a setup I didn't think possible and I want this for myself lmao
A friend came to visit!
Oh my god that is impossibly cute
I guess you could make a themed one if you want! I haven't seen a themed one yet.
I mean tbf soup and canned veg are usually all I see in them when I go to drop stuff off 😅
They make that! It's called Little Free Pantries. We have many around here and I love them bc I often unload packaged food I develop spontaneous allergies to so someone hungry can have it and it doesn't go to waste. www.littlefreepantry.org www.thelittlefreepantries.org/faqs
Squirrel cosplay
i mean
Guess having a treats-based economy was unwise, who knew
Okay so while she was eating that worked but as soon as she finished they went back to sucking ass. I am sorry y'all, but I cannot perpetually force-feed my wizened IBS-riddled cat to help the Lions get their shit together.
I have given her a special snack. Let's hope for the best.
TINY LOIN PLZ, COULD YOU WAKE UP AND HELP
Gonna level with y'all, I genuinely did not think Tiny Loin would still be with us after last football season (she's almost 23!!!), but here she is with her lil bandana, ready* for the game! (*napping, status maximum slepy)
Pennsylvania I can excuse for its crimes (too long) bc it's also beautiful and has many nice places to stop. Ohio is a sin against both aesthetics and the human attention span, and it has no god-given right to stand between me and New England for ~3 hours.
True to your Slavic roots
That was lovely. I'm sorry for y'all's loss 😞
VENUS a mini comic about girls night uniting us all 1/2
shoutout to the UP furries who drew NMU AND MTU's mascot about to fuck
It's all bad; my kingdom for high-speed rail
Yeah but that's the hardest segment bc by that point you've driven for what feels like eternity and yet somehow you're STILL in fucking Ohio bc God has abandoned this world 😐
Gotta stop for Waffle House to sustain you on the way home
Not exaggerating btw. I am barely conscious rn; prepping these peaches took ages and I still have more cleanup to do tomorrow.
I'm so tired. I flew too close to the sun.
Six pints of peaches in syrup, 10 half-pints of peach-vanilla jam, a whole peach crisp, and I still have like two quarts of peach goo that I've had to refrigerate/probably freeze tomorrow. I hope everyone's prepared to receive jam for Xmas this year.
That makes sense. I do a sort of crushed tomato for all of my canning for the same utilitarian reasons lol
Omg 💀 do you sell them, or give them as gifts, or are y'all just housing pasta every day??
Omg hell yes I am so down, I will load my car up with supplies and tootle on over!!
I'm so serious, local friends. I will pay you in shelf-stable peach-vanilla jam -- and I use real vanilla bean.
Guys help, who wants to come over and help me do this?? This is taking forever 😭
It is so many peaches and this process is going so slowly. That bowl is not even all of them. I still have this one that needs blanching. I'm gonna be up all night 😭
It begins
Next week I'm gonna aim for at least 15 miles round trip. I am determined to get good at this so I can need a car much less.
Confirmed: as soon as the sun came back out, any desire I had was gone entirely. Wtf, y'all.
I'm so glad it isn't just me 😭 I think for me it's because there's a sort of oddly languid sensuality I associate with certain albums I like to listen to on cool rainy days and this weather feels like it should be raining, so my brain has used Pavlov's Transitive Property to arrive at "rain = hornt"
I figured out what's causing it and this is so embarrassing It's the fucking weather I'm horny bc the weather is becoming cool and overcast and the days are getting shorter Biology, explain
9 miles bichael ride I am so, so tired and hungry but I wanna go back out and do it again Is this how it starts
I cannot thank you enough 💜
It's a hell of a bargain!! I'm making so much jam for the winter
Courtesy of @thecasey.bsky.social, we have peaches, y'all; I am so excited
It is a PROBLEM!! This is not the time for aesthetic whimsy; I have a great need for peaches!!!
🙏
God bless our troops 🫡
Have y'all tested yet?
I always appreciate folks putting art on my feed so please keep doing it!
COVID is surging real bad rn; I sure hope it's not that for y'all 😞
I hope so. I know being each other's panopticon is not great but at the same time I am SO tired of seeing shitty sociopaths get away with this kind of selfish, entitled behavior. Like we're trying to have a society here, asshole; get out if you can't play nice with others, especially kids.
We got a name on this wench yet? She deserves to be famous.
I am never acutely more aware of being queer than when I'm trying to navigate spaces clearly occupied by straight people Fucking MOVE, you "yayyy same penis forever"-ass bitch; go have your lil kaffeeklatsch outside the perimeter of the market, not in front of all the booths!!!
Guess who needed to get to the long eggplants today despite everyone being vibes-based with their coffee And yet somehow I'm the bad guy driving my lil hand cart around
I am bestruggled
Oh my god who's the asshole who decided we should bike to the farmers market on 5 hours of sleep; I have fuckin WORDS for her
Tattoo responsibly 🫡
Confusing the YouTube music algorithm by queuing up Bad Company after KMFDM
Substance matters!
Saw two of those fuckin rolling dumpsters today and now I'm in a bad mood
Good luck 🫡
Did you get flu too?
Omg can you share the recipe?? That sounds heavenly
Obv make sure you've got plenty of stalk left over on the end or it doesn't work as well!
It works super well and catches the corn to boot!
Screamingggggggg 😭
Godspeed then 😭
May I recommend Bundt cake pan and corn holder? It's always kept my fingers safe from harm! bsky.app/profile/bene...
🤮
There are many such cases!! 😭
It just baffles me how someone like this can exist, devoid of any kind of personality or curiosity or drive to learn This is an unperson, basically. Calling him an NPC would be an insult to actual NPCs.
Great minds, lmao bsky.app/profile/bene...
Like there's your whole male loneliness epidemic: there exists a subset of the population who are functionally zombies. They have done nothing to self-actualize and they never will, God willing. They are no more developed than protozoa and are angry/confused as to why nobody finds that attractive.
I stared at this for a good minute or so when I first saw it. Like this is not a man with an inner life whatsoever, nor does he want a woman with one. He consumes, he maybe breeds, he consumes some more, and then he dies. That's it. He is a walking id. And there are SO MANY men like this.
This is such a good writeup; I am so tired of leaving lackluster dates feeling like I'm a police interrogator bc the dude didn't say a word I didn't have to pry out of him with forceps. Also plz enjoy this cardboard cutout of a human who tried to match with me on Okcupid the other day:
I'm serious btw
Plum
Cornin'
GET BACK THERE OMG, CLEARLY YOU WERE WARDING THEM OFF SOMEHOW
I am exhausted from this COVID shot but also horny & this is miserable I can't believe I somehow just fucking forgot what it was like to live with this level of fatigue all the time from my immune system just flipping out constantly. Mounjaro has been so good to me it's erased the memory. Wild.
Fuck yeah! Love that for you
Capitalism realized a while ago that a huge swath of young millennials and elder Gen Z are just broke enough to not comfortably start a family or buy a house but just flush with enough cash to fill the emotional holes left by shitty boomer parents with overpriced children’s toys
Horny and not even ovulating; SOS
I have no idea what any of this has meant but I'm assuming it's good things for you so YAY
ever since i was a little girl ive known i had the capacity for great violence
(not aiming this at OP btw; I just have a LOT of beef with the overall horse-blinders culture of A2 bc I worked there so long and got done so dirty by its supposedly "progressive" denizens)
This is in Ann Arbor, y'all. Just in case y'all want to pretend this can't happen in "sanctuary" cities or that the nice business liberals in charge will fix this silly lil misunderstanding in time for brunch.
