Dad. K-12 teacher. Security guard. bestifyoudont.com ☆ Climate change is an extinction-level event driven by capitalism. ☆ Billion-dollar-scale income inequality is a human rights violation. ☆ The social contract must guarantee no-cost healthcare.
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A charter school I taught at only had mainstream classes until Thursday. Fridays were for teacher planning and students with extreme credit-recovery needs. I looked forward to the silence, but then a math teacher decided he could DJ the whole school. He always opened his set with September.
Miss Racia is above such things!
A chicken in every pot, a woman in every kitchen? MAGA brides?
HAPPY LABOR DAY! We can fuel the MAGA Administration with our labor and money, or self-sacrifice for the common good. • Get a minimum wage job • Cancel every subscription • Only buy necessities #RiseUp #GeneralStrike
You're a mainstream media. You could call on half a million followers to #RiseUp with a #GeneralStrike.
Uhh, he's also the reason the traitor was allowed to take power again. He's more to blame for Trump than Trump. #LetsGoBrandon
😍 The sunset wasn't the most beautiful part of my night! Thanks for the selfies during my tour of mall duty, hunny. 🥰 I picked up a lot of trash and helped a Spanish-speaking guy find Verizon so I can get home to you soon!
I walked into Whole Foods today on my beat, not as a customer, obvi, and everybody on the crew looked so godawful miserable. My heart breaks knowing if we got rid of billionaires, people would be happy to stock shelves, slice cold cuts, and ring you up. These jobs don't have to be modern slavery. 😠
Heroic, even. 🦧
HAPPY SUNDAY SUNSET, FRENZ!!
Time to watch the sunset! 🌤🍕
At least we can share leftover potato salad with HR!
Big Fake Pizza has gotten to her.
🚨 Dork Alert 🚨 Actually, I'm gonna ask my girlfriend if we can go out like this. Does anybody have a detachable zoom camera and wicker basket we can borrow?
I like mayors whose vehicles aren't struck from behind.
*sips tea* RISE UP TIME!
Agreed
National strike NOW! ☺️
Mom, dad, this is Chili's, and we're in love.
Um, gross
I came across a lady and her suitcase outside the dead Pei Wei. She didn't look homeless, asked her what's up. She told me she doesn't feel safe at home and is calling her supports to find a place to go tonight. I got her an ice water at Starbs, told her I'd swing back and check on her again. 😕
Change the Statue of Liberty torch to a middle finger already. 😕 This isn't us.
SQUAD!! I got 15 minutes left on a Mega Gyarados at my guard post. #PokemonGO @bigdell23.bsky.social @misscoldhands.bsky.social @indymode.bsky.social @hollowoak.bsky.social @shaydieblue.bsky.social
I watched it this morning on my girlfriend's Paramount Plus. I know, I know. Kinda scabby of me since I'm boycotting streaming and canceled all my own channels. Imma blame her like Adam blamed Eve. 🍎🖖🏻
I coulda told you that last night by the two leads, but I knew I'd be depriving myself of this hilarious review. 😂
🤤
I need to be in pitch black dark 14 hours a day, too!
The whole family is now Pixar!
Can I be very ill like a rapper? I'm da illest! ❄️😎❄️ I haven't had to vote in person since 2000.
*Unsubscribe from Giuliani news* 😂
Q: Why don't you hire women? "We have binders full of women!" -Mitt Romney Watching him crash and burn was hilarious, but now I kinda miss him.
Yay! Jack!! 😻
Cogent points. I like your new lady liberty but also miss purple kitty!
I think the sun is bleaching me and my pants red (rust?). These 12-hour parking lot shifts are going to turn me into Ronald McDonald if Fall doesn't get its shit together.
"Run the country like a business." 😂
Yes! And when upper middle-class liberals see "federal withholding" on their paychecks and don't immediately transfer to a minimum wage job (like I have), they are also confirming their pro-MAGA, pro-Pedophile, pro-Fascist, pro-ICE, anti-Health, anti-LGBTQ+, anti-Women, and anti-Education stance.
Ai-based civilization of the future: Hmm. Humans were weirdly anti-climate to their own detriment.
"Wow, sorry for making your cities safe!" "Wow, sorry for putting more money in your wallet!" "Wow, sorry for taking harmful chemicals out of your food!" "Wow, sorry for removing the kitty litter from your kid's classroom!" I'm disappointed every time I check conservative spaces.
So many flyers circulating through my scroll calling for a "Workers Over Billionaires" protest this Holiday Monday, and I think it's really sweet and considerate of the organizers to remember that the degenerate billionaires need everybody back at work on Tuesday. Why not: Monday - Indefinitely
I'd be happy busting ass all day to feed my community, like if the lettuce was about to get delivered door to door to my neighbors, some of whom are out digging another well. #Cooperation
Protesting on a holiday Monday and then returning to work on Tuesday? 🤔 Interesting strategy. "How cute!" - Billionaires
¡Bienvenidos a los EEUU! 🎵🇲🇽🤝🇺🇸🎵
Holy shit. 🤔💡 Welcome to the team! We thought about recruiting the armed truck driver. We thought about quitting and hoping nothing changes in a year. We thought about rewiring the phones and alarms. Disclaimer: Educational purposes. 😅😉
They don't pay me enough to live, and they schedule me back-to-back 12-hour shifts, so it actually seems par for the course. The only reason I'm alive is because I hate my evil ex-girlfriend enough to outlast her by one day. Then her grave becomes my pee bucket!
My armed guard buddy and I finally had "the" conversation. While it was on my mind since day one, I'm glad he brought it up first. Unfortunately, no. We haven't figured out how we'd get away with robbing the bank. All access advantages are null and void by also being the primary suspects.
🫡🛡 Game recognizes game!
OK, private. Go guard a mall for eight hours with no pee bucket and report back.
And possibly pooped himself!
Tonight's waxing crescent, as seen from my playground, through whichever Straight Talk phone was the cheapest two years ago.
I drove by three gas stations because I didn't want to change lanes. Fuck that shit. 🥱
Yes, please!
Bury me with my pee bucket! 🪣
😉💕
OK, look. I spend every waking moment hating this guy, and most my skeets are trying to convince people to rise up against him... but... high-key, I'd be pissed if somebody dragged a heavy wheelbarrow across my new limestone, too. 😅 Come for me!
All these pics are still fireable offenses, but as long as I have time to steal my pee bucket, I dgaf.
"Grandpa didn't always wear Amazon Essential Diapers!"
Give me a minute.
Cats be like, "Bitch, dafuq?"
That's what instinct tells me to do, but then I'd be exposing myself to the parking lot. 😂 There's even a fountain I could aim for.
One day, I'll drive my grandchildren by this mall and be, like, "Look, grandchildren! I peed on that roof 500 times!"
Sounds amazing!
Rookidee Community Day on #PokemonGO while I'm on mall cop duty?? Welp. I'm gonna hunker down at Starbs and hope crime doesn't happen for three hours.
She's like Frida Kahlo with how much art of herself I get throughout the day. 😂
Yeah, I mean, play it if doing so comforts the family, but the judge's comment seems to give road rager a big opportunity to appeal.
There are four dumpsters right behind the wall, too. None of them locked. Not to mention, trash receptacles everywhere. 😔
The deadbot gave an admissible victim impact statement?? Of course it was Arizona.
You're so right! I was picking up trash, thinking of the wrong joker.
Wtf is wrong with people? This mall doesn't need a cop. It needs a vigilante!
The blue wave will put out that fire. 🙄
*gold-plated 😆 He's still cheap as hell.
Crazy how all of us are suddenly more qualified to be HHS Secretary than the role's current occupant. That goes for quite a few high-ranking officials these days, but HHS is particularly awkward since the medical profession is known for rigorous study. 😬🤦🏻♂️
Imagine being old af and still trying to accrue wealth like a maniac.
😂 Accurate!
We had a dachshund that used to stare at the gathering of bunnies in the backyard. It was fun to fling the door open and let him try to catch them since they could flee fast enough to escape through the weep holes. Until his 1,000th attempt was successful, and mom let out a blood-curdling scream.
Imagine if we were the Star Wars universe. 😆 All the Americans who think of themselves as jedi would be building the Death Star. "I got bills to pay!"
Um, guys? You have an extra day off. Are you meeting with your friends, neighbors, and associates to discuss actionable steps on how to stop the hostile takeover or loafing around with margs and guacamole? #RiseUp #GeneralStrike
All of those are great goals! Get to it. I want to write more books, too. It's like leaving a piece of yourself behind.
Yes! Me when the parking lot empties at 5 but I'm there til 7.
Epic! 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶
Write your bucket list. This mass extinction BBQ is lit.
PE on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Music on Thursday. Art was up to me. Oh, Wednesday was early-out day. But yeah otherwise kindergarten is grueling compared to our childhood. Parents gotta go to work! Kids gotta take state tests.
I love how the majority of us could shut this all down tomorrow, but will instead keep licking the bloated corpse of late stage capitalism. Sorry there's plastic in your organs, kids! Enjoy your coal job.
When I was the only overnight staff at a girls' level 2 unit (isn't it crazy how that was allowed back then?), this girl kept arguing for me to unlock the fridge at 2 a.m. for orange juice. ME: Drink water and go to sleep! HER: Water doesn't quench. Give me OJ!!! I still laugh about "quench."
I've rised up as much as one person can alone. I support me and my son on less than $600 a week, don't pay taxes, and canceled all subscriptions. Where tf is everybody else? Why are people going to 8 to 5 jobs and posting about their happy participation in capitalism??
I complimented a guy's goat milk soap, and he told me there was more for me if I bought him a Costco hotdog. I like Farmers Market people.
How would you fill seven hours a day?? They can have free time. They're only five years old. Both years I was the kindergarten teacher, we hit first grade material by Spring Break.
USB Controller. Laptop. Emulator + Rom. Overhead Projector. I thought you were IT?? 😅
Two years ago... ME: Kids!! Be quiet right now and watch Mr. Kinkade crush this dungeon!! I miss when my life had meaning. Ugh... my traumaversary is two weeks away. September 999. 😭
Revolution? We apparently don't do those anymore. I've been saying we should throw one since the blanket J6 pardons. It's Magamerica now. I hope Netfix and Amazon Prime were worth it, libs. See you at work on Tuesday? The billionaires thank you for your compliance (actually, they don't).
I thought we said No Kings, but you dropped this: 👑
Lol. History. The sixth mass extinction has entered the chat.
