judges what i have prepared for you is Formicidae on celery julienne, entrenched in a legume-crema
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
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judges what i have prepared for you is Formicidae on celery julienne, entrenched in a legume-crema
Ugh another filler episode of the Three Stooges. Now I am stuck watching three goofballs in hilarious hijinks.
salad
David Attenborough: brief as its life may be, in order to protect its fragile exoskeleton the Spirit Halloween must seek a vacant commercial shell
The worst people online hate this app for embarrassing reasons
i would tell will stancil to get a job and stop whining on the internet but the economy is doing so good (as this chart clearly indicates) he unfortunately doesn’t have to
I haven't been around because I'm developing a new treatment option that involves going to sleep for two years and waking up well. It's going to be wildly popular, expensive, and y'all can say you knew me when
you don't have to like it but we're all a little bit Linda
I've been MIA because an actual dove hunter took out the internet to most of my area. How is this even real life?
Sure, I was RAISED Blueskyist, but these days I'm lucky if I log on for the High Bluidays
i know it’s hard for some of you to understand, but you can be a blueskyist AND an atheist 1/2642
im so excited! and i just can’t hide it! feels like someone’s gonna die and i think i like it!
if you are a 40 year old man complaining about being “bullied” on a social media platform, I have great news for you: you are allowed to log off
Help hep I am but an uwu smol bean 75k follower account and today is my first day on the internet. Someone I berated told me to "shut up" so please delete the web site
“Bake me a cake as fast as you can” is an unhinged demand.
bukkaK pop demon hunters
the delusional self serious posters on here want to be known as public intellectuals while the dudes actually publishing and being cited are posting about taking a shit in the urinal
The Cheeks that Clapped Back
i’d like to order a #69 from the sexy sex menu por favor
guy who yells at people for being the 70th like
It’s ok to put in the paper that you think I was mad because I wasn’t actually mad and knowing that for myself is the real winning
Salome can have a little head of John the Baptist, as a treat
actually you can put it in the papers that im mad. i dont care its not like im mad or anything
Imagine hating me and I'm just over here getting all confused by my hood
hi I know I've never met you before but just so you know at first glance I'm way better than you, you should probably copy me
i searched “the world is over we’re all doomed” and was really disappointed to see that literally every post was talking about how the world is over and we’re all doomed smdh
The prophecy augurs my downfall at the hands of this newborn, so I’mma order the kid put to death and not think on the sitch for like 25 years. Should be fine.
he’s gonna be so mad
It’s butthole not arsehole, you asshole.
radagon is that you
ai generated announcement from the recently deceased president of the united states
i was a bad soldier in christ’s army
i’m happy you believe something that makes you feel meaningful, but can you do that *over there* ?
proselytizing is so embarrassing, like please believe everything i do or else you’re in big trouble
2 pm opium legalization announcement
large diet coke (lite ice) from mickie ds
so what's everyone drinking for the 2pm announcement that the president has been dead for a week? i'm thinking moscow mule.
"this is what you see if you search 'kitchen table issues'" you should try searching "alf" while you're at it
flipping through browser tabs and open spreadsheets trying to piece together what i was working on before the long weekend like i'm guy pearce in memento
THE MCRIB IS BACK
If you give a man a fish... tell him not to put it in the microwave.
a toilet that poops back
this bread is terrible. but the circuses? also really terrible
context clues indicate DigDug fucked absolute silly style
Morning ball sweat concentrate
i can’t wait lmao
a heartwarming coming of age flick about a young birthday boy terrorist burping
“hell yeah brother!” anyways, so i was digging this hole
ai generated announcement from the recently deceased president of the united states
Vampire who isn't allergic to garlic but still doesn't eat it for religious purposes.
a bidoo doo
bLoo sky*
Is this what skibidi means
a bidet but more…we have the tech
You ever think about stuff
@thelouvreof.bsky.social i have a submission suggestion
10,000 word essay entitled "In Defense of Dan Ackroyd's Orgasm Face in Ghostbusters" by Gerald in IT
“I’ve still got it,” I boast, referring to my anxiety and depression
[public bathroom] ME (calling into a stall): doing okay sweetie? 6YO NIECE: yeah it’s a good poop ME: what makes it a good poop 6YO NIECE: it didn’t happen in my pants
youtube star Mr Priest new video "I Did the 24 Hour 14 Stations of the Cross CHALLENGE"
Stop changing your profile picture. Choose one and stick with it for 25 years like a normal person
give it some time
Donald Trump has died
feeling bored, might complain that bluesky is dying later idk
every time someone publicly shits on bsky, Alf's hog only becomes more powerful
a toilet that poops back
they checked, and apparently the last played on rudy giuliani’s apple music playlist was Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts
she bone on my petite til i
i love the unmistakable sound of a skateboard going down the street
basketball jorts
“oh i won’t let little charlie have any more than 1 hour of screen time a day” - me, a mature well adjusted adult who soends 7 hours a day staring at my phone
bedazzled my dick for greater and more glittering girth
gettin really into the corpus. just deeply engaging with the full body of work. this mfer prolific as fuck
he wrestled a lot
happy birthday work
Do you guys like nut vids??? Just wondering
did donald trump wrestle in college?
dead and/or dying
first donald, then rudy, and now bluesky. these things come in threes
add a scoop of baby formula to your coffee for a formulatte
bluesky has been vaporized. bluesky no longer exists. bluesky has never existed.
I’m a hydration skeptic. not sure you need to drink that stuff
if you’re reading this, it’s too late. bluesky has fallen.
my car was
so there i was, slamming in the back of my dragula when all of a sudden i saw a woman fleeing domestic violence
i'll know bluesky is actually dying when the dullest accounts on here stop posting the same hackneyed take
My favorite thing about ChatGPT is that I will never use it
i don't really mind the "bluesky is dying because people are mean to me" posts because i remember the alternative, which was "twitter is dying because people are mean to me" op eds in the new york times
in the Three Little Pigs universe do all animals have houses or are these guys the worst possible target for this wolf
pigs are standard fare in the TLP cinematic universe, but *little* pigs are a delicacy
keep all my homies’ info in a brolladex
imma get get get all my groceries soaked
with trump and giuliani edging right up to the border of death, the comedic rule of threes now screams for blood
He died. He died on the toilet but “not the way you think,” a White House spokesperson said in a brief statement before declining follow-up questions.
RIP the 100 sodas i’ve lost bc i forgot how goddamned violent the bumpy thing is.
the depths of hell ring with the sound of a million Costco carts rolling over the bumpy thing
new playlist (it’s collaborative) open.spotify.com/playlist/0eA...
logging on and immediately forgetting what i was going to post
"Fight Club" ruined every other movie for me. Anytime I'm watching something, I'm waiting for them to "Fight Club" me. "Are Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway the same person," I wonder aloud to the pitying laughter of those around me.