And look up the meaning of the word 'traitor'.
Messing about in a tyre swing, enjoying my nuts and generally monkeying around.
238 followers 541 following 341 posts
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And look up the meaning of the word 'traitor'.
All getting 1 more point than we will get
@specsaversuk.bsky.social Eastbourne branch giving the kind of service Ryan Air can only dream of.
It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't won
This is just next level insanity. In January this year, Reform picked Sharon Carby, aged 70, from Bradford, to run as their Croydon Mayoral candidate. There was just one rather significant problem. She had sadly died in July 2024. insidecroydon.com/2025/08/27/f...
Tomorrow is publication day for #TheCutThroatTrial, meaning an end to the relentless self-promotion is in sight! Preorders make a huge difference to a book’s success - hence why we’re forced to bombard you. Normal lawsplaining service will resume shortly. Anyway, if intrigued, links are below 👇
Because, only in England, would you find a big enough bell end trying to turn a nice evening in a pub into a race war. #plasticpatriots
If there is a Scandiwigian Thriller looking for a serial killer, you're the man.
A brilliant film, and a much better use of the Internet than 99% of current posts.
So. I reckon we have enough of us to make this a thing. And if not, there are worse ways for me to spend my Bank Holiday Monday evening than tweeting into a void while watching the World’s Greatest Legal Movie. Monday 25th August 2025. 8pm. My Cousin Vinnie, #LegalLiveTweet Who’s in?
You can't just suspend human rights because they are inconvenient, that's why they are rights. Ffs, stop being a twat.
Looks like we will be voting to keep out the knuckle-dragging flag-shaggers next
Agree entirely. You don't try and pet a hungry wolf hoping it will protect you. Sooner or later it's going to be getting out the cutlery. He almost destroyed the Lib Dems, they only did so well last time be because the Tawdries where so bad.
More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns
Weird how the "legitimate concerns" protests are full of coke-addled domestic abusers and NF members but the vastly larger "terrorist" Palestine support demonstrations are full of octogenarian nurses and renowned poets. Weird weird.
🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT: UK Terror Threat Level RAISED. 🙏🏻 Please watch this #MondayMorning edition of #BrokenNews and repost it using the hashtag #BrokenNews. youtu.be/8vE1tvIwXaM
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz348bs
Dominic Grieve. 👏👏👏
BREAKING NEWS: Syrian asylum seeker found beating up a teen girl outside a club. He pushed her over and kept kicking her! It took 2 bouncers to stop him! Labour wants to give him a 2nd chance!🤮 Correction: It was a Reform MP See how your racism determines what you'll tolerate?
Reform MP Sarah Pochin’s praise for men who “protect their wives and daughters” from asylum seekers reflects the point in my column. “It’s an extension of the centuries-old racial prejudice ethnic minorities are a sexual threat to white females - and the white males who claim possession of them.”
No but you can get 10 million of them to cry on social media that it's 'too woke'.
Don’t mess with South Park.
"Ethel, can I ask you something? Am I ... am I the baddie?"
"Are you a terrorist?"
I've seen his speech, "When I crashed the economy and unseated the Prime Minister, I did it with you in mind. And you lot, you cashed in like bandits. Now, now is the time to thank me, gie us a job...please, I'll do anything for cash..."
Imagine you want to row from France to England and you can choose route A) 22 miles to Dover, or route B) 120 miles to Great Yarmouth. Rupert Lowe thinks people would choose B. Rupert is an idiot.
Presumably this means no surprises for wealthy donors or Reform voters 🤔 'Advisers believe that a “no surprises” approach will be crucial to prevent negative market reaction.' Meanwhile (from @privateeyenews.bsky.social )
S6 of The Handmaid's Tale is turning into a disappointment, which is a shame.
We’ve seen Reform UK politicians claim there are 1.2 million ‘illegal immigrants’ in the UK. We don’t know with any certainty how many unauthorised migrants are in the UK. But this particular figure appears to be based on a flawed estimate. fullfact.org/immigration/...
Go see this fellow, he's rather good.
I'm sad to say that since leaving Twitter/X my sales for live shows have dropped quite a lot - it turns out that even though it's a dreadful place it was still useful for getting the word out about events. So any shares / RTs of my posts about live shows are hugely appreciated!
They are not sending their best people
Oh, I don't know...a man with 10 jobs must have some experience of something
I prosecute and defend the most serious sexual offences in our courts. The overwhelming majority of offenders are British-born. Overwhelmingly the victim is someone known to them, either a partner or relative. Anybody purporting to care about protecting women might start there.
That's next years edinburgh show written. Mark takes 299 friends to the pub
Alimentary - Level one beer drinking #UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
We are pleased to report from the new MAGA Patriotic Bureau of Labor Statistics that thanks to Leader Trump employment is up 10 million jobs for the month of August.”
There is a Discworld quote for EVERYTHING
Was he ever a child? Finding ways round things is built in.
Yes please.
You're GOAT list is seriously flawed
Quelle surprise
Not true, Nigel: Farage makes bogus claim about £1m council savings www.nnjournal.co.uk/p/not-true-n...
Bankrupt the companies by making them pay to put it right, then take them into public ownership.
Private Eye 🫥🫥🫥
The truth here is so ever relevant, is so simple and profound. I think I might pop it into my next book. Sharing yet again:
Led by Donkeys unveil a giant banner opposite Labour HQ, against the ban on Palestine Action: "Protesting this [war on Gaza] isn't terrorism." Photo credit: Led By Donkeys, via Twitter/X (h/t Democracy Network)
Well smack me on the bottom and colour me purple. I'm shocked I tell ye, shocked.
I nicked a pot plant from an All Bar One when drunk. Watered it for 2 years before discovering it was made of plastic. I have a PhD in Plant Molecular Biology.
Reminds me of this classic Twitter moment... mansplaining The Handmaid's Tale to Margaret Atwood.
"Professional moron herder" take the rest of the day off, that's genius.
Banks too big and important to tax, Chancellor warned as Barclays makes £5.2bn profit in just six months bit.ly/45cKQ11 @thefca fined the bank £42m earlier this month and £40mn last November for money laundering and other failings.
Tommy Robinson sent a letter to himself, he meant to log out and send it from a different account. But he didn't. Don't RT 🤣
Tommy Robinson kicks off the next round of the World Hide and Seek Championships. #Stephenyaxleylennon
#severance season 1 was clever, imaginative and engaging. Season 2, not so much.
It would be remiss of me not to mention, just in passing, that The Cut Throat Trial is included in this stonking offer. Out on 28 August 2025. 25% off pre-orders through this Waterstones deal here. www.waterstones.com/book/the-cut... Treat somebody you love to a grimly authentic legal thriller.
I like this a lot.
Excellent from @mattgreencomedy.com 👏🏻 Go and see him if you can
And she wants to deregulate this gang of crooks
Completely new motion...
New motion Reg?
For people looking for alternative audiobook suppliers, #TheCutThroatTrial is also available on Kobo: www.kobo.com/gb/en/audiob...
Because that's how contracts work...
Anything from Labour govt on literal fascist groups attacking cops and hotel workers in Epping? Or are they too busy punishing a black MP ?
In Isleworth Crown Court today, defendants are being told their trials will take place in **2029**
I asked Jeeves, and he agreed, adding, "It's brain, pure brain, sir!"
Generating electricity from solar or wind is now much cheaper than gas. People aren’t seeing the benefit of cheap renewable power, because electricity prices are still tied to the price of gas. Our plan would break that link halving bills and save families £870 a year. www.libdems.org.uk/energy
Dear #RachelReeves Just thought you should know Barclays have been fined millions of pounds again, after doing absolutely nothing wrong, again. Are you sure deregulation is a good idea?
I've lost track of what that was in response to. My immediate thought was " I pity anyone who has to drink that crap".
There's a guy near me rents out 650 houses, if he leaves, how will he get them on the boat?
Discworld QOTD, from Making Money “Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!”
BBC News - Barclays fined millions over financial crime risk lapses www.bbc.com/news/article... And Rachel Reeves wants to relax their regulation. It sounds like an admin error but in reality it's knowingly taking in dirty money. Crooks.
Dalek Action, a pro-Dalek protest group highlighting the continued oppression, and genocide, of the Daleks, by a variety of intergalactic colonisers, likely to be proscribed as a terrorist group. Sources close to #Starmer have said that intergalactic colonisers have a right to defend themselves etc.
In 2017 I was arrested protesting outside DSEI. The desk Sargent said to me 'I'm just going to release the Dalek and then I'll book you in'! Anti-genocide protesting Dalek's are just the greatest, I bet Starmer proscribes them for being galactic terrorists!
Here’s how the Right is softening you up to sell off the NHS They can’t scrap the NHS while you still care. So they start by saying it “wasn’t really built.” That’s not analysis. It’s strategy. Watch how they soften you up to let it go | The Bear @eastangliabylines.co.uk @bearlypolitics.co.uk
Anti-genocide protesters Sarge, thousands of them. #starmer
Last year Kemi Badenoch claimed £29.5k in allowances to pay her rent, energy bills & council tax..... #bbcbreakfast #r4today #skynews
chattychimp.com/2025/07/12/c... What it lacks in humour, this piece makes up for in factual accuracy. #gbnews
chattychimp.com/2025/07/12/c... What it lacks in humour, this piece makes up for in factual accuracy. #gbnews
Is that where they keep the artificial sheep?
Dismissing a complaint because it's a template is wrong. Many industry scandals have changed by large numbers using a template. Some people don't write well, doesn't mean they don't have a point. Maybe this is why the BBC has done nothing to change its editorial output.
The first time Charlie Chaplin used his voice in a film, he wielded it to forcefully condemn the rising forces of fascism around the globe. Will we listen to his words today?
Dear #BBC You might want to ask why the CMA would allow house builders to not share "how much they ripped off of buyers" and why, on payment of a small fee they can get away with illegality. But then, you'd be doing your job...
Before Margaret Thatcher Council Tax was Domestic Rates and it was based on the value of your house. So if it was worth 100x as much as the average, you paid 100x as much. She changed it to Council tax which has a cap of 3x and is cheapest in all the richest areas.
That's Question Time cancelled then
Here’s my favourite moments from Pride in London. I hope that everyone going has a fun, safe time today. Remember to use your voices as Pride is a protest! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #PrideInLondon
The Chatty Chimp slams Oasis as "over-hyped northern shit, who were never that good in the first place."
And is responsible for much of the shit show this government inherited. Every public service was refunded and broken. We want instant results but it takes time and money.
Reminder that today Reform UK are defending 2 seats in by-elections. Benfieldside and Newark West. Both caused by their councillors standing down after the local elections just days after being elected. Taxpayers’ money wasted today to the tune of circa £50k.
Oh yay it’s that one day every fortnight Dulwich College’s Nick Ferrari has Dulwich College’s Nigel Farage on as a guest.
Well, they are and endangered majority.
Computer outages that blocked customer access due to lack of investment, Lloyds Bank director admits bit.ly/4ly0cnn if only it had made profits it could have used…oh, wait a minute
