My friend did 8 years and was taught to cook. He’s the number two to a world famous chef and earns a lot and pays a ton of taxes and employs people. That’s better. Physics is better.
Gravy. Always gravy. And your Mom. (Also rugby, Padres, Vikings, chargers(?) ASU and your Mom)
2,135 followers 1,738 following 3,325 posts
view profile on Bluesky
My friend did 8 years and was taught to cook. He’s the number two to a world famous chef and earns a lot and pays a ton of taxes and employs people. That’s better. Physics is better.
You know what’s cheaper and makes more sense than this? A self-confidence course.
I’m almost done with my 10,000 hours of Malcom Gladwell insults so if he bugs you get ready for some expert content
Our oldest and least vocally political family member is in DC right now for work and did mention to some National Guard that she was sorry they’re being so humiliated by partisans and it was sublime and perfect for her as she doesn’t like confrontation. They were like wait a minute….
In California since 2020 all new homes are net zero, and by 2030 all new commercial buildings have to be.
Someone’s about to come with a hot take about the Articles of Confederation
it's called a funeral home because pall mall was already taken
These are my sons, Sedgewick and Heathrow.
It would be cool if after I died someone fashioned weapons from my femurs and used them to beat some bigots unconscious
I was going to start the euphemism contest back up but I gotta go work the pole saw.
Or political office, or really anywhere and I’m one. I told my daughters when they rise up I’ll be handy in finishing men off, and then dump me whenever they’re ready. I’m good.
If they tried this under the auspices of public safety or mental illness, that’s a pretty solid argument to ban white males from owning them, too. I mean if we’re going to use statistics instead of just hatred
"tHe LoTtErY iS a TaX oN pEoPLe WhO dOn'T uNdErStAnD mAtH" you think i won't spend $2 on even the slimmest chance that i overnight become richer than manny machado and then spend a bunch of that money to annoy him?
Every time i buy a vegetable I tell the cashier it’s for my daughter or my fiancée or a girl I found in the woods and am nursing back to health
What I think I have: Laird Hamilton sun kissed bowl cut What I have: Walt Goggins receding beach bleached miasma
They must love doctors.
Exene Cervenka 🖤
Thursday .
I support all the kinds of people except assholes and jagoffs.
His wife forbids him to drink brown liquor during the day because the last time he did, he got out of an uber and instead of walking to his house he veered toward neighbors house, fell forward, and put a hole in their stucco w his giant head. (True)
Johnny is a firecracker. Sometimes they blow up anywhere, though
Johnny started drinking brown liquor when the sun was still up which his wife forbids him to do. He’s a little wild eyed.
Are you guys here yet? Look in the back dark corner of the yard we’re over here
Here’s the Hand of Hope by Nguyen Luu Dat and two Marines on Pendleton where the U.S. government and Marines sponsored over 50,000 Vietnamese during 1975. Back when we welcomed new people. (I know, I know. We didn’t. But we did)
😂😂😂
And a pretty finicky Coastal Commission.
70's - Read the book before the movie ruins it for you. 80's - Listen to the song before the music video ruins it for you. 90's - Friends.
And I’m on week three out of my bedroom and bath as I had a water leak. I can’t have like nine guys fall through the roof right now
Very, very good. I’d see em in a second
It’s the Ospreys that give me the terrors. They are few but they have a habit of falling out of the sky
Yep, but I’m in Miramar’s flight path so I have F35’s and Hornets all the time as it is.
WTAF? Pendleton is a preserve. Pendleton is the break that prevents San Diego from becoming Orange County.
Maybe this weekend if we’re lucky we can have a Sammy Hagar weekend, with a little tiny baby mustache, and a jacked up Camaro. youtu.be/7uKO8cvp_9I?...
Nice!! “Sup, Jen!”
The lottery is over a billion? I could pay off my family’s medical debt and still get two Jersey Mikes subs with that kind of cash!
Brilliant, I’ll try it!
A Scotch egg, but gefilte fish inside.
I just can’t remember Congress approving it. Didn’t they just get back today?
Some of you struggle to tell the difference between a warrior in face paint and a clown with a gun. Close your eyes and take my hand and I will dance you through all of this
I’m so old I just watched a video “Ron Swanson learns new things” and it was funny but I can’t remember if he was in a show about parks or a show about stationary or paper or something. Much like him I don’t care.
Wonderful he’s still going and adapting. Yay!!
It’s true that if I hear ben Shapiro’s voice I instantly turn into a bully and want to beat things up
They’re breaking me.
STOP GETTING PANTSED BY LAST PLACE TEAMS, YOU FUCKING LOSERS
Getting escorted outta the bar cuz I won’t stop showing the bartender my old tweets
Possibly. Cute little guy. Super cute
Just saw a guy walking his super cute brindled yorkie, which I’ve never seen. Anyway, he heard about the rottie’s cancer and started talking about fen ben and ivermectin and all I can admit to was a terrible accident in the canyon
Sonora, por favor
One of my few skills was a near photographic recall of phone numbers. I just remembered everyone of them. I’m like the John Henry of phone books
Give a man a hotdish, he’ll eat for, let’s see, 3-4 days.
Don't give a man a fish, give a man a hotdish 🍲
So trump is just going with the full Gene Wilder hair now, I guess. Only Wilder could pull it off
First they told me to ditch the wood cutting boards. Then they told me to ditch the plastic cutting boards. I’m not trusting anyone anymore and just got me a big slab of lead to cut my food on going forward.
Much like cops the Sweet Release of Death is never around when you need it
1.5 is the perfect amount of grilled cheese sandwiches to eat.
thinking about running for office and my only policy position is "all of the j6'ers should be executed"
I’m so sorry.
One good thing about the internet is last night a guy questioned my bona fides and I asked for his number and quietly texted a program from a college football game in 1986 and he stopped talking shit mid sentence. Then I sent earlier stuff. Lmao it’s all digitized
Our best was an albino Pom with violet eyes we named Sinatra. I wish we kept it and I like big ones.
Sailing to Europe or sailing to Hawaii are the reasons I wish we had 140 year lives. I so need to do both but my list of stuff to still do is too long. I don’t have time for that
When Trump dies I’m probably going to eat a lot of babies or whatever
We’ve fostered and adopted out over 40 dogs. Mostly working breeds as nothing makes me prouder than sending them out to their first day at the accounting office
We’ve been taking our ghost to the beach every weekend and it’s been great. I mean, I think.
I made you a dolphin sculpture out of liver pâté, please respond.
I hope you find an Easter egg with $30 inside today. Or maybe one with pulled pork.
Ruin a movie by making it about Gary Oh Gary Where Art Thou
This machine kills fascists sticker on an oyster shucking knife
Just tried to do one of those skircles things and the only thing in it was that baby or whatever they threw out of the window of the White House.
Do you guys think we’ll stay in touch in hell
Fun fact: Austrian cows kill more people than hippos.. this last 2 mins
Listening to the eagles and riding around in a black ski mask with no lights
I vaguely remember something called Hambacher Schlemmer or something like it, and I’m not looking it up. If you can tell me I’ll learn. If not, I’ll never know.
Just saw an ad on YouTube for grey haired women to pull up they titties with an old lady bra. They nailed my demographic.
We’re starting with Brubeck and Esquivel in the backyard. Swing by, cats.
Sisu is on Hulu if you have it. If you’re anti Nazi rage levels are high it’s nice. I watch it for violence therapy
It's been a long time since I've been exhilarated
"ArEn'T tHeY dEaD? dUrRrRrRrRrR" *pedantry is why we can't have nice shitposts
My wife says of course, yah friggin Chryslah. * *you need a bailout
I haven’t lived there since I was 18 and went off to school. Not sure
My first job at 15 was pumping gas in New Jersey. Sunoco. Good times.
I woke up in a hotel room in Vegas in a bathtub filled with ice. They removed my gib and my moxie.
I hate seeing this at this hour as now I want to make a burger
Let’s go ASU Football!!!! Help, all my other teams have failed me. Also college kids and recent graduates in general are killing it and making my distinction as an alumni look more and more prestigious.
Arizona State, consider yourself the 1975 Sporting News National Campions that you are.
Scouts from the Steelers, Bucs, Bears, and Eagles watching the ASU DL
Always keep a backup pair in the car at funerals in case your dress flip-flops blow out
😂😂
I keep an emergency phone hidden inside my emergency burrito. In case I have to eat my emergency burrito, I can immediately order a replacement emergency burtito
No white nationalists after Labor Day…
In my father's universe, pants, slacks, & trousers were all different things.
It’s always so much better.
Cooking late is cooking good.
Ohhhhhhhhhmaaaannnnnn
This is a specific demographic by age joke. Madge had soft hands
It’s a hallmark movie. They had been pent up and it allowed them to tell everyone they loved that they adored them. For like 30 years.
Every day I walked three miles to my junior high and .9 miles to my high school, but I walked by oratory Prep, where Danny DeVito went, and I knew if he could make it I could.
the ocho
