Apple is sneaking AI into everything. Turn off enhanced visual search on your photos:
Apple is sneaking AI into everything. Turn off enhanced visual search on your photos:
This seems important:
I won't start until you bang on the dashboard.
I'm excited to see the John Cena/Wile E. Coyote flick.
You have to offset the harm with the humor. And that would be funny. I bit meaner than a Rick-Roll but funny.
You: that cyber truck sure is ugly and it costs $160k! Me: hold me beer.
For me it wouldn't have to be malware. Just a link to goatse.[cx]or Never Gonna Give You Up.
The Timex Sinclair 1000? It was the first computer I owned. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timex_S...
I just learned that the lead singer of the band The Offspring, Dexter Holland, has a PhD in molecular biology. His PhD dissertation was about using mRNA to create vaccines. It was used for the Covid vaccine and a new vaccine for HIV. Wild stuff.
Hello, this is Denise from Only Fans. How may I help you?
No one will be Boomerfying me! (except me, in about 10 years).
Just like Millie Vanilli. Perfectly field tested but not so great in person.
Not if you're in Ireland. I live in Las Vegas. My dad named my brother and I Mike and Pat because it sounded like a pair of Irish cops. Seriously.
I will have to try that. I have half a bottle of Laphroaig that I just can't drink neat. Maybe I should try it with BBQ sauce. A natural liquid smoke.
Interesting. That would be a smokey cookie.
Exactly. And when I see an Uber driver with a dented/beat-up car I steer clear.
My anti-theft device was to always drive a piece-of-shit car with a crappy stereo. Never robbed.
I still occasionally see a Pontiac Aztec in the wild. It's gives the cybertruck a run for it's money in the ugly department. At least the Aztec didn't cost $150k to be that ugly, it did it for cheap.
I'm frequently wrong, which my wife will point out (frequently). When I am, I tuck tail, admit it, and quiver in a pool of shame. Save it for when you are right. Then goad, GOAD, that shit for all it is worth.
My uncle died when he was 82. He had a mild stroke in January of 2020 then was forced into lock down by covid. I don't know if it was the the stroke or the isolation but he had the same "solution." He was a good guy.
My wife and I RV all the time. Usually we do *really* simple meals that don't require coordination. Usually propane powered.
I don't disagree but I use one small paper bowl with everything mixed together (so I can sample them together) . One bowl, recycling, done. Not 6 bowls with a sprinkle from each. One bowl: bawush - spice bath.
I will dot That ass well. The chefs on here will tell you it's cheating, but they have an army of sues chefs behind them, buying, cleaning, and cuttings the veggies. They are yelling "but you are cheating" I can do it so much faster. Fuck them.
Everything is ready at the same time. Not a bit of waste. No sous chefs. Perfect.
There are pre-cut and washed alternatives from the grocery store. They all cost 3x their unprocessed counterparts. You do you.
It's not the glass bowls. It's that it takes time to prep the bowls. It takes time to wash & prep the bells peppers, mushrooms, and carrots. The chefs are just like "take a sprinkle of bell pepper" (bought, washed, prepped)... And you will done in no time! It's not a 30 minute meal, it's hours.
Just add dragon fruit... which I'm sure you have on hand.
Okay, but it's all pre-prepped. All the veggies are clean, the meats marinated. Throwing it on the grill is easy Try coming home from the grocery store where everything needs to be cleaned and prepped and cooked. Not the same. The food truck people work all night to get things ready.
No, it's always me - the husband. My wife doesn't do dishes (see original post). Prep, Cook or Bake, then dishes.
That's my usual solution.
I don't want to watch a chicken baking for 40 minutes. I also don't want them to promise that this is a 30 minute recipe when the fucking chicken takes 40 minutes by itself!
Okay, but are your veggies all prepped by a sues chef? Pre-marinared meats? I'm just commenting that the recipe expectations are unrealistic. That all of the veggies are pre-cleaned and dried, the meat is ready to go, the plates & utensils aren't waiting for the machine to be done.
I could probably get that done, but I would have to edit out the cooking time and just show the finished product. however, I was a chef for 10 years, and my knives are really sharp
I'm Troy McClure, you may remember by such posts as... "Why Does This Suck? " "Are You Sure That's Your Dad?" "This Ice Cream Tastes Like Dirt?"
I will but if I see one pre-prepped bowl of spices, or pre-prepped piece of protein, I'm out. No where is the paprika? Where is the cumin? Hunting around the cabinets? If he has it at hand it's not authentic. I'm talking about actually cooking at home.
Like, like this? Ps I miss Phil youtu.be/oDGTCULn6P0?...
Caramelize the onions for 5 minutes... Fuck you!
OMG, that's perfect! I also miss Phil!
That's my wife: Utensil shuffle each week. "But that where it fit."
But do you put out like a half-cup of salt when you just need a pinch? Do the cups stay out, and full of stuff, full time? The time prepping the cups, plus the time doing the dishes later, is what bothers me.
That is my wife. She is short and cursed with "Tyrannosaurus arms" - can't reach shit in the back. It take 10 minutes to assemble the spices if it's not just S&P, onion, and garlic.
Did she have the little glass bowls of spices. Little plates of pre-diced onions, bell peppers, mushrooms? That of all takes *time*.
I find it heartwarming that you are occasionally "pegged". Enjoy life.
Probably still better than canned beans.
For 12 hours.
Me to the server: "how's the fish?" Server: "[eye twitch] It's good" Me: "I'll have the steak"
Then, after 3 hours, dinner is ready. It's pretty good. No compliments but no one dies. And then an hour of dishes.
Where is your fresh parsley? Fuck you. Here is the 2 year old jar of dried. Where's your fresh minced garlic? Fuck You. Here's the jarlic. The marinated chicken breasts? FUUUUUUUCK YOU.
I would love to see a cooking show where they do everything in a home kitchen (a small one). No little glass bowls of each spice set out. No pre-prepared chicken breasts read to go. Everything done by scratch. Then let them say "it's an easy meal to whip up in 30 minutes!" Fuck you.
This reminds me of when my wife bakes something. "I'm making gluten free scones!" "That's great!" An hour later the kitchen is destroyed. Measuring spoons everywhere, dirty cutting boards, rolling pins, knives, *everywhere*. She doesn't do dishes. *sigh*. "This recipe is SO easy!"
You make make a great gig out of being a Gav*n News*m impersonator. Get ready.
Yes, if for no other reason that it gave men another woman['s voice] to be mad at. "What do you mean make the first legal u-turn? This is the freeway!"
I'm yelling "Boo-urns".
The one we went to was just "Sambo's", and the name was based on the founder's names not the book. It did adopt themes from the book, like the tiger butter, and had a mural of tigers chasing a dark skinned kid around a tree. You didn't miss much, it was like a Denny's with a touch of racism.
Night Sky on Mars #nasadailyupdates
"Falafel – a traditional Middle Eastern fritter of chickpeas and herbs – pressed in a waffle iron, topped with tahini butter, and served with cherry tomatoes, traditional hummus, green shatta, mint and a sprinkle of toasted sesame seeds." www.mnstatefair.org/new/food/faw... 😍
Here's an envelope I illustrated, which will be auctioned with other designs by celebs to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society. I'll post details of how you can bid in due course. Reposts appreciated. #caricature #art
But you don't want to go down there, the sump pump is on the fritz.
Some people just fail up.
"What color is your Subaru?"
They also ditched "The Cracker".
they should invent a nap that does your chores
My mother always took my brother and I to Sambo's. She wasn't racist it just had good options for kids.
The value menu.
I will spend the rest of night imaging what "fully formed" diarrhea looks like.
Steve Case comes to mind.
I'm the dude that gets taken out in the first round with such a bone crunching noise that the crowd is aghast. A fundraiser is set up in my name. "He was never a hero, but he served as a warning to others."
Nevada bribe passed over as the dealer hitting on 20.
My 75yo asthmatic dad, scared to leave the house or have guests over. Thanksgiving and Christmas via zoom.
Oh it is. Either volleyball or Greco-Roman wrestling. Dealers choice.
640K ought to be enough for anybody
Yes! First rule for mutants or alien invaders: don't be tasty.
Friday Night Lights
I will always remember my grandmother, in the 80's, seeing Liberace on TV and commenting "He is so talented, I wonder why he is still single?" And my family just looking at each other mouthing "shut up".
Grocery bag as a trash can liner (check). Cinder blocks & unfinished wood planks as a book case (check). Giant spool of wire as a coffee table (check). I'm ready!
He is jumbo and has superpowers but his kryptonite is the "barbie".
I didn't intend to type "the Michelle" but it works. What look are you going for? Give me "the Michelle"!
I hate to say it but this whole industry stays in business because of people like my dad. He still has a landline and answers it, and completes surveys! If you ever see weird polling numbers or wonder why the calls won't stop, it's my dad.
Whoa! I live in Vegas and our whorehouses are much more classy. Or so I've heard.
We need a hero with a bunch of sub sandwiches and a t-shirt cannon. A hero of heros.
Sometimes you get a free sandwich. It's a crappy sandwich from Subway but you'll take it (you have no choice really).
Cut to long beach volleyball homoerotic scene.
Love the picture but I wish it was one with Obama in a tan suit. And included the Michelle.
So garlic, onions, and a bunch of bell peppers? Awesome.
As a middle aged dude with knobby knees, I think this bird is thinking "take a pass on the skinny jeans." Wise bird.
Your door dasher will arrive in ... 3 days.
Someone found a cheat code
My mother died in 2019. She had at least 15 facebook accounts. She could never keep track of the passwords, same goes for email accounts, so she could never recover a lost password if she got a new kindle (she had dozens). New Kindle = new email and facebook account.
The EMTs will be asking "who would put 4 pairs of scissors and a dozen large needles on top of an airbag?"
I wish I had a picture of my truck while traveling. This is exactly what the passenger seat looks like. That side of the truck looks like a craft room. If we are ever in an accident, my death will be from being impaled by flying scissors and crochet needles.
I get them ham worries but it's the onions that will kill you. Maybe the mayo will join in.
I want follow up. I think the compression that digital platforms add to the uploaded photos prefers digital photos. I'd bet if I saw prints of the pictures in person I would prefer the 35mm.
220 221 what ever it takes: Mr Mom.
I don't want to go out for lunch. Will someone please throw a sandwich at me? (Preferable not Subway).
Day old rice = incredible (and easy) fried rice!
This video from Fairmount Bagels in Montreal from their Instagram is the most impressive thing I've ever seen
What did you do? That crew wants to meet you out back.