America heartbroken to discover president somehow still alive
America heartbroken to discover president somehow still alive
in his Dying Brandon era
CEOs are trying to convince you that quiet quitting is worse than wage theft, while they plan on replacing you with a robot. Unions know better. Happy Labor Day Weekend.
RFK Jr looks like he’s been sampling the diseases at the CDC
is that his usual amount of neck
Would a man who's dying look like THIS?? *releases photo that looks like someone microwaved Reservoir Dogs-era Chris Penn for 45 seconds, skinned him, and mounted his carapace on a 100-gallon trash bag of taco meat that went bad because the walk-in lost power overnight*
We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.
I dunno, man. Didn’t see any Chinese government officials getting Cracker Barrel to change their logo back
It's extremely unfair to speculate about Donald Trump's health just because he's elderly and can't form linear thoughts and has the diet of a first grader who won the lottery and his flesh has been changing color like autumn leaves.
I miss the old brand #CDC
this guy talks like a drunk fucking frog! look in the mirror at your own shitty mitochondria, pal!
up next: 14 days
Hello it’s me Sam Altman I have a zillion dollar idea it’s a chat bot that tells teenagers to kill themselves and you can generate csam with it and it poisons the air and water and it’s wrong most of the time and we’re going to put it in your refrigerator and stuff 👍 I need more money for this btw
As a parent, as a human, this family deserves a settlement against ChatGPT that should put them out of business.
stop it, jacqui! you're supposed to cheer when the rocket explodes 2 seconds after launch
when your brand is even too toxic for a guy who knows where shelly miscavige is
Genuinely incredible that she's saying this with 2 accused rapists on either side of her
uhhh...ok, voldemort
breakthroughs in spelling! 🤯
let me throw some fuel on the fire that is the discourse about boys getting laid!!! current-day manopshere content is not good at getting boys laid and that's an effect of the incentives at play. you cannot build an audience of resentful little virgins if you succeed at helping them to have sex
I’ve had nothing to do with that pedophile since he stole all of my teenage masseuses.
Taking a break from my child sex trafficking scandal to condemn the lack of manners among starving kids these days
@kamalaharris.com challenge him to a cage match and let's finally be done with this tired-ass shtick
Trump University 2.0
The America First geniuses managed to send hairdressers and soccer players into a gulag and *import* a triple murderer into the US. Nice work. www.nytimes.com/2025/07/24/w...
kudos to all 3 on this bit, their comedic timing and delivery is 👌
make sure to cancel your Clinton Mobile phone plan
Not many grown-ass adults stand next to Trump shaking their heads like that. Looks good on him.
ugh. this fuckin guy
if only he could buy better botox. his face is offfff
but it really is Obama's fault that our current president is a pedophile
perhaps this is why usha constantly has a dumb smile plastered on her face
shoutout to one of the best tweets ever
bad news for Barack Obama
I'd like to hear what Jerry Seinfeld thinks
I hope you're getting extra sick days in exchange
“the party being led by jeffrey epsteins best friend wants to repeatedly examine your childs genitals” is a true statement
this is where the hoax thing has legs: i cannot be convinced that she has EVER found him appealing
the Obama distraction stuff isn't gonna work on Dems, but I might be *mildly* distracted by an AI video of Zuck getting sucked into an MRI machine by his chain necklace
I'd kill for a jonathan gold review of this place
the nyt doing word salad simply to avoid saying "war crimes in gaza" in their paper
he's thoroughly vetted!
love to see a Biden with a pulse. go hunter!
spare some unwarranted self-regard for the rest of us, carville
and this broken-brained fool is only 40. so much time to promote so much more racism.
ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming. ME: is that true? ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.
check this dumb fucker for brain worms
too little too late! he needs to release a nude syphilis awareness calendar at this point
honestly not sure any of these people could pass sixth grade English again with 99% of their brains focused on midlife crises and appeasing nazis
our nation's foremost sexual predator is getting a state dinner soon!
seriously wild that the single thing our president had in common with his bff is "underage girls including my teen daughter are extremely hot and fuckable"
you can see tapper's little brain gears trying to spin this into a Biden scandal
ICE agents are supercool warriors who need hype videos set to Kendrick Lamar and also small little boys who have to hide their faces because 70-year-old grannies might hurt them.
huh. my LinkedIn profile photo is an AI-created "half girl half cat where the girl/cat has amazing hair and is in a field of dreamy wildflowers" piece of art. somehow that passes muster but her name change doesn't?
the sooner we clean house, the better
you still can if you don't act so guilty about it!
it would be so easy to Trojan horse this fucker. make it tacky enough and your gift will be 18 inches from trump and whatever asshat dictator is sucking his cock on any given day
You already had coffee. How do you not remember getting coffee?
horrific, really? like two coworkers publicly groping each other is on par with kids being murdered while in line for food in gaza
A sexual politics that prizes reproductivity, eroticization of male dominance, and women’s humiliation as a marker of men’s status will inevitably trend towards valorizing pedophilia.
ah yes, I remember the ol' "jesus had parents with a big age difference and it really worked for them" argument
parents are pleased to have upstanding men like roy moore groom their lucky 14yo kids, actually
horse vitamins and prayers
ooh. this looks so good.
We’re about three days, “Of course it says I had an orgy with ten thirteen year olds. That’s what Obama told them to write. How stupid are you people?”
I'm sure jake tapper is all over this
There is something ironically right about it. Truly iconic image. Trump heroically, righteously defiant to ... nothing. There is no enemy (unless its a MAGA-ish young man with mental health issues.) It catches the soul of MAGA: pseudo-patriotic negative polarisation against non-existent demons.
posting so i know where to find this comfort food at 4 a.m. when i question all my life choices
MAGA Voter Drills Hole Into Skull To Relieve Sudden Doubts About Trump
He's got a Spider-Man villain kind of charm
The top 5 countries Trump could bomb to distract from the Epstein files. by Chris Cillizza
was definitely a carpeted dive bar
Actor Mandy Patinkin’s plea for Jews to consider how what Netanyahu’s Israeli government is doing to Gaza is not just harming Palestinians and killing kids — but also endangering Jews across the globe.
god bless you 🙏🏻
Our hearts are heavy for the grieving family of Jaime Alanis, who died from injuries sustained during a chaotic raid on Thursday. We will do everything we can to support them. We continue to work with the hundreds of farm worker families navigating the aftermath of this violent raid.
Narratively speaking, the tightest ending to this screenplay is probably the freed J6 protestors storming the White House to demand the release of the Epstein files.
The Epstein files are on Pam Bondi's desk right now but also they do not exist but also they do exist and were written by Obama and Hillary when Epstein died in 2019 when the president was Donald Trump.
seems damning. I hope our truth social pals are aware!
1. Release the Epstein files! 2. The Epstein files are sitting on my desk and I will release them very soon 3. There are no Epstein files and the case is closed 4. There are Epstein files but they are forgeries created by Obama and Hillary so if you like me you will never talk about them again
I don't know if there's ever been a culture more in love with charlatans than ours. "Success" defined entirely by how good you are at tricking people into giving you money. An entire country of aspiring slop merchants
Time for this again
Guy so badly wants a Hot Orange Man Summer
In the past 24 hours, Trump’s threatened Elon Musk, Thomas Massie, Japan, a judge in Israel, the CEO of AT&T, Jerome Powell, Canada, Thom Tillis, a Forbes reporter, Harvard, & migrants with being eaten by Burmese pythons in the Everglades, while releasing a new line of colognes.
This is on @kirstengillibrand.bsky.social and @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social and @ericswalwell.bsky.social and @danielsgoldman.dg4ny.co and everyone else who has aligned with the Republicans on their hyper Islamaphobic shit. You guys are the GOP.
These people are Nazis. I know that's well-understood by many people at this point, but not enough. They are Nazis and we need to keep saying it.
I've never trusted grownups named brandon
ok NYC there are no easy choices here, every mayoral candidate has serious character questions that should give anyone pause: one guy is a serial sexual harasser who killed your grandma one guy is a literal criminal who is cutting deals to sell out the city for pardons one guy moved a table
Are Republicans asked to condemn Musk's sieg heils and their support of the white supremacist anti semitic replacement theory? www.politico.com/news/2025/06...
Can’t really articulate how furious it makes me to see gentile politicians wield fake charges of antisemitism against Mamdani. It’s not just the plain Islamophobia, it’s the fact that they’re needlessly stoking tensions in a way that puts Jewish New Yorkers at GREATER risk.
it's abundantly clear that the dem donor class will never allow the electeds they've bought to endorse mamdani. PRIMARY THEM ALL.
It’s every parent’s nightmare, isn’t it? you check your child’s bulletproof backpack and find a picture book about gay penguins
i think cuomo did well considering he couldn’t campaign while the sun was up
according to conservatives on the court, the constitution does not protect your right to your own body but does enable the government to ship you off to a foreign gulag without any hope of return
I am surrounded by people who are outsourcing their own thinking to ChatGPT and they are quickly and obviously becoming dependent on it for even the most banal tasks. Once again, the "figuring it out" is the important part. Yes, you can use a crane to lift weights but you will not get stronger
This wouldn't be happening if Trump were president.
I will be damned if I allow a bunch of Confederate-waving January 6th apologists give the American people a lecture on flag waving. There is ZERO reason to enter an argument about patriotism with people who still worship traitors to America 150+ years later. They. Are. Breaking. The. Law.
Greta Thunberg, arriving back in Europe after her abduction by Israel in international waters, explains in 40 seconds why western governments are colluding in genocide: