So if you were thinking the MTV VMAs were on MTV, you’d be wrong.
I’m extremely intelligent. But don’t expect anything here to reflect that. If you like dumb shit, I’m your guy. ℹ️Do not expect anything useful here.
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So if you were thinking the MTV VMAs were on MTV, you’d be wrong.
As I said, we waited two years to finish
It’s my birthday month.
It’s kinda like breaking bad in that it’s very well made, super intense, and makes you hate everyone on the show (except Ruth).
You’ve learned well.
Somehow two years ago we stopped watching Ozark with two episodes left. Finished tonight. The fuck!? Talk amongst yourselves.
I’m queer, a parent of two queer children, and a raging socialist. But if you followed me for my hot political or social takes, you’re in for a BIG surprise.
I have faith in you.
Don’t be a dick. Thank you.
I do love that this has resurfaced after nine months.
The sun gives us heat and light, but it also emits poisonous rays that can blind us or cause cancer. And if that doesn’t sum up the human condition, I don’t know what does.
I'm definitely not a bot. I'm a dom top.
Lost my dad in 2017 and still wrestling with the same things.
Eating the world's most boring sandwich, thought of you.
Chuck Norris, best known as Colt, killed by Bruce Lee in "The Way of the Dragon" (1972).
Nicolas Coppola, best known as “Brad’s Bud” in Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Jodie Foster, best known for playing Talullah in Bugsy Malone (1976).
For that cross section of musical fans and fans of urban dictionary
Michelle Pfeiffer, best known as Olivia Newton John’s successor in “Grease 2” (1982)
I downloaded signal and have yet to send or receive a message on it.
Extended family? In this economy?
76 rusty trombones is called a “music man”
a toilet that poops back
If your poop is big enough, it will. Trust me on this one.
Fuck, my birthday’s in September.
Wake me when September ends - Billy Joe Armstrong
Can I have an offensive nickname? Also, what’s a manuscript?
Brushing my teeth for 28 minutes to get it out of the way for a week
Of course. Wouldn’t be the same without you.
Such a lovely pic. And a lovely face.
Pretty sure by the last third of the walk nothing’s coming out.
Who is the next mayor of NYC? Wrong answers only.
My dog just pisses on everything. I don’t know how he has that much piss.
There’s no wrong way to eat pototos… well fuck, Lay’s went and ruined it.
I’m just wondering how many of my followers are bots. You have to tell me if I ask, those are the rules.
I kinda miss Battle of the Network Stars.
That would be must see tv.
That’s what I would say. I think your therapist is wrong.
I thought they came in packs of seven.
I also am married to one.
Nope
My spouse just told me it’s no wonder I have self worth issues because I say things that are self defecating.
I recently confirmed bulletproof coffee is not in fact bulletproof.
I love my BFF, I only wish everyone else could see him.
Animal (from Muppets) on my left forearm. Because I’m a drummer. On my right forearm are two mushrooms, purple, yellow, and black, with a pink and blue butterfly landing on the largest mushroom. They are for my two kids who are trans and non-binary. The one on my leg is a Celtic tree of life.
I would never.
She was the best. Julia Garner is honestly pretty great in anything.
I’ll change again eventually.
I’ve not been ok for a while. Being here is my escape from the cruelty of daily life.
Binging Only Murders in the Building.
got banned from the gym because the iron kept pumping me
in the nick of time is short for in the nicholas of timeothy
Yeah, I’m very boring when it comes to food. I think it comes from being a white midwesterner.
Damn. We’re almost out of milk.
If everyone turns into a ghost when they die, there are over 100 billion ghosts around the earth. Probably everyplace is haunted.
Definitely sus.
That’s one Jason too many, if you ask me.
I suspected as much.
This is the weirdest game of fuck, marry, kill I’ve ever seen.
You’ve won the game of Taco Bell. There’s nothing else to live for. 🤷🏼♂️ I don’t make the rules.
Pototo?
I’m non-binary so I have no idea what this says.
🤷🏼♂️
I’m just wondering how many of my followers are bots. You have to tell me if I ask, those are the rules.
Not to mention all the assassins.
I don’t normally repost comments, but this is brilliant.
I bless the cops, down in Africa
Also, what the fuck is a pototo?
Lay’s put them up for a vote and the crab ones weren’t made.
Scotland: game on.
There’s no wrong way to eat pototos… well fuck, Lay’s went and ruined it.
Paramore or less
I’m waiting to find out this is all part of a new prank show.
Maybe I agree with Mark Cuban. This place doesn’t have near as many butthole posts as it used to.
I wonder if anyone ever told Marky Mark the Beach Boys already did a better version of Good Vibrations?
I’ve been working on my plan for world domination by binge watching Pinky and the Brain and Dexter. Odd there are so many similarities.
Sometimes I have a bone waddle too.
Pretty sure it already happened, and that’s why we’re where we are.
dance like everyone is watching and this is their punishment
Hot dog water is just pork tea.
Fair enough.
Fun fact: elbow is Spanish for “the bow”
Was I at least dressed this time?
My kids see mine, but they’re adults. My mom doesn’t even know what Bluesky is.
I miss long walks inside a Blockbuster.
I think you’re confused. That’s Dr. Frederick Frankenstein.
Um, that’s Willy Wonka sir.
Damn those look amazing.
Somebody has to do the real work.
That’s a big opinion for a Friday. 😉
It’s barely still morning, but good morning none the less.
Nobody wants to have a conversation with Cuban anyway.
I quite love my echo chamber, thank you. But it does smell like dirty socks in here.
(guy whose opinions are bad) bluesky? the echo chamber????
🫂🫂
Welcome to your 50s. Your back hurts when ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶y̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶ you breathe.
That the universe is ever-expanding is why the bathroom feels farther away from the bed every night.
