trying to imagine firefighters getting dispatched to this house and the absolute nightmare that would be
"Does this need to be said?" "Does this need to be said, by me?" "Does this need to be said, by me, now?" - Craig Ferguson
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trying to imagine firefighters getting dispatched to this house and the absolute nightmare that would be
Here's the clip! youtu.be/ZGVKZQQSJkg
I'm only half an hour into this but holy shit it's good
Do you think we'll have another election? It sounds stupid, but think about the litany of extreme steps taken in Trump's first seven months: mobilization of troops, extrajudicial actions, intentionally ignoring the courts. Do you think they'd chance Dems getting all that established power?
Ace Ventura 2 crawled so that you might fly.
Watch Out!
Loving how many people are making fun of Cuomo’s mayoral run
arguably the most important Marxist text of the 21st century
1 like = 1 ‘90s action movie rec
You should let someone else rent that apartment, by not living anywhere near the city you're running for mayor of, like me! ...wait, hold on.
I hope You have found *Thinks about every mistake and error I've made in my life, simultaneously* A freyuuund
Them: Some people don’t like owls. Me: Who?
They had to wait for Kavanaugh to finish his concurrence of "I agree with this schedule, but even -harder- than everyone else."
Threading my #all50rts picks here (for those who don't know, a music challenge where people are listing fifty album tracks or B-sides). For day 1, here's "Daily Nightly" by the Monkees, a song supposedly about the Sunset Strip riots but which seems to me to be about streetwalking sex workers.
This is incredible
I'm finally starting this project to watch the entire Touchstone Pictures filmography (every film associated with the Disney label whether through production or distribution) from 1984-2016 & share my thoughts on each release in this thread. Follow along as I revisit the hits, misses & obscurities.
When the enormity of the world's horrors makes you feel helpless, narrow your focus. Find one stranger and scold them for posting a recipe while kids are dying. Call out a new mom for not adding alt text to a baby photo. Critique a selfie. Correct a joke. Show people you care more than them.
Bringing my FREE STUFF thread over. Lots of archives, national film institutes, nonprofits and others have made collections of silent films available for free, no signup needed. I have the links
Check out this Savannah Bananas player on CNN
please let Hulk Hogan be the third in the Rule of 3s
if you go to bed, hulk hogan will die.
Oh, that's because of an executive order mandating it from back in 2027.
This is even better than I remembered it, mostly because of Conan's increasing discomfort. (It's possible that @joshgondelman.bsky.social first shared this years ago.) www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-MJ...
Where does he think cane sugar comes from?
ROBERTS: Hey, gang, you know, I'm looking over this ruling and I think Trump can legally murder us now. GORSUCH: Goodness! CONEY BARRETT: Guess we better stay on his good side. THOMAS: (under breath) i think he should murder us EVERYONE: Shut up, Clarence! KAVANAUGH: *burps*
"Hey, I gotta take a ten to go post through it, be back soon"
TRUMP: ... ... ... the pyramid guys?
It's like watching an old episode of Firing Line near a gas leak.
Just about everyone is a few bad days away from homelessness. Virtually nobody is a few good days away from being a billionaire.
Sidling up to the bank teller with a winning smile and declaring, this is a pick-up.
"so you know how sometimes you get a box of cereal and one of the pieces is really big? race cars is cereal"
NANCY PELOSI: We must find the next generation of Democratic leadership. Young, charismatic and exciting candidates who can energize the party. People that voters love because they're not 80 years old and sold out to big capital. CHUCK SCHUMER (behind sniper rifle): Found one PELOSI: Take the shot
Fucking Superstar, from SNL. I was in 7th grade and I still knew it was shit.
"so-called 'experts'" The signs of a man who wants to argue in good faith. Blocked.
Doubleyew erasure.
Breaking news: we have a suspect in the string of local dandelion disappearances.
The best thing Scalia ever did was the last thing he ever did. Was that written well? Would Rick like it?
It's an instant block, that's what.
OH MY GOD ASDFGHJKL I MIGHT EXPLODE!!!!!!!! 🐖🐽🐷 TINY PIG! SO MANY TAPS!
The otter keeper gave this baby otter a sock to keep warm, she later turned it into a onsie with holes for the hands, feet and tail!
I know it'll mess with the scheme, but "Klemen Must Be Stopped" would be a hell of a pin.
@ozzy-mo.bsky.social Listening to @eurovangelists.com today, you claim you're SO HAPPY JJ won. But have you stopped to think? Just what is Klemen going to post next year? Yellowface?! Pulling the corners of his eyes with his fingers? A GONG?!
It always seems as if the Republicans are more powerful in defeat than the Democrats are in victory
TIL: When the Original Star Wars Trilogy finally aired on Chilean TV in 2003, the network spliced custom beer commercials into the films themselves to avoid cutting to commercial breaks. these additional scenes turn Obi-Wan & Luke into raging space alcoholics who are constantly shotgunning booze.
You, seeing an opportunity to help the youths
He's a dictator, for fuck's sake. Violence is an old friend to him.
Realizing I haven't been bothering people with my taste in music too much over here. Yet. A Thread:
*Two days later* Journalism is dead, I guess because he wasn't fast enough.
"oh. right. polio."
See if you and your friends can solve my riddle!
I think it's pretty cool that a car exists that I, someone with no artistic skill or practice, could easily draw.
A CLOSE-UP, YA JERK! A CLOSE-UP!
1930s NEIGHBOR: "Son, anyone with eyes can tell that girl's sweet on ya!" NEW ORLEANS SAINTS QUARTERBACK TYLER SHOUGH: "shucks. gosh."
Meanwhile, warming up in the bullpen is RFK.
"Pope Tuna the Fifth?" "I think it's supposed to be Fish."
Life in the Fast Lane?
The idea of a Trump business venture failing shakes me to my core.
How do you have a thought like "we simply must help with genocide so that we can have Infrastructure Week" and also think "this take will age well, historically."
If you write "I won't play GTA because I respect the police too much", you should be legally required to follow up with an "uwu"
He says it's more art? Oh man, do I have good news for him about what AI pumps out like sludge.
SCHUMER: i said hell, how much angrier do they want me to get?
Flair provides a distraction (and dies horribly). Norton suplexes the gorilla to Fuck You City. Patrick's just there to do the three-count. If Virgil is the one distracting, only 80% chance he dies. He's a veteran at this sort of thing.
Give me Scott Norton and, like, two other guys and that oughtta do it.
"I didn't have 'The U.S. military defends against Tesla protesters' on my bingo card" will be the last thing I say before I'm (rightly) shot and dumped in a ditch for being 'too woke'.
This is The Thread™ (Bluesky v2) (v1: https://bsky.app/profile/standplaatskrk.pl/post/3jveekpbxyq2i)
WRs are like Clooney at the end of Hail Caesar, except instead of communism they get excited that they're the first people to discover Republicans.
Way too early to call, but let's not sleep on Dave Bautista. Dude clearly wants to be a Capital-A Actor rather than a Rock/Cena type.
How many cigarettes does Branson Reese The Oompa-Loompa smoke in one go?
Has there ever been a more succinct five seconds in all of ABSOLUTE CINEMA. A more efficient usage of celluloid. Has anything respected the audience's time more than this. This conveys everything anyone needs to know about these people. Who they are. What they do. How they rank on power level scale.
They're just waiting for Cousins to get released.
It’s time let’s go
What, was he drunk when he made th- ohhhhhh. Right.
NAZIS: ...jesus christ, really man? MY: If she's innocent, she shouldn't be hiding!
Children as young as *four* are being put in the position of representing themselves without lawyers/parents present in front of immigration judges in cases that will determine whether they are deported. gothamist.com/news/4-year-...
Schumer's polling his imaginary constituents as we speak. Expect good news.
IMMIGRATION DISCOURSE 2025 TRUMP: The migrants are swarming over the border INGRAHAM: The migrants are taking our jobs MILLER: The migrants are selling drugs to our children WATTERS: The migrants are raping our women VANCE: The migrants are eating dogs and cats
“You’re not on the itinerary, Jonathan.” lmao
Yeah, but he's supposed to complete it 10 times, he only did one run and then quit.
oh God any obscenity will work you don't need to use that one
So you're saying the President has nine more pounds of muscle than Donovan Mitchell. Right?
"How many years of in-school education for one person do you think a human life is worth?" NATE: *counting on fingers* I mean, like, three?
I have a great joke about Socrates! First let me just take a big sip of this drink...
It's not a random podcast. It features Jason Schrier, the original poster, as well as Maddy Myers and Kirk Hamilton, discussing a variety of gaming topics, including Blue Prince! And if you enjoy their podcast, you can become a supporter through the Maximum Fun network! #alwaysalwaysbeclosing
You should subscribe to the Triple Click podcast, where Jason's been invoking this game since mid-2023, I believe. maximumfun.org/podcasts/tri... #alwaysbeclosing
If you like Blue Prince so much, why haven't I heard you mention it before now?
RFK: "SO, ANYWAY, I HEARD ABOUT THIS ONE GUY WHO HAD BUILT AN IMMUNITY TO IOCANE POWDER AND I THOUGHT, HEY, EVERYONE SHOULD DO THAT TO BE SAFE" ROGAN: "right, right"
It's a misquote, though, he never said it.
I will try to get you a comparative picture tomorrow.
"Laws should only exist to make us freer" is the take only a College Republican with head trauma could think is profound.
Oh, okay. In this context, now I believe in trickle-down economics.
"Some say the opposite of left is right. But the truth might be more complicated."
You shouldn't make light of this, those kids are on a subway! Their lives are in danger even now!
i don't think we should gatekeep the enormous 28 pound bunny that works as a service animal at giants games sometimes. i think we should share news of the 28 pound bunny with the wider internet
I am heartbroken to hear the news that ROBERT E MCGINNIS has past away March 10th at the age of 99. One of the greatest American Illustrators ever is gone and not a single piece on the news anywhere about the man, his influence and his life.
Still one of the funniest damn things I've ever seen. www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3ZH...
Didn't even get to the Beltway Sniper.