Just like their bumper stickers that say "united under one flag" instead of "abolish the indigenous flag because black people don't matter".
Leftie snowflake Shouting into the abyss Mildly amusing
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Just like their bumper stickers that say "united under one flag" instead of "abolish the indigenous flag because black people don't matter".
Tungsten Rib-eye Fortescue Destitute
Has he finally saved up a deposit for a house?
Notice that it just says "The President". It doesn't say which one.
You just know they are not going to tell us for at least a few days. They will spew some crap about how he planned it to happen at such a time and in such a way that it would bring about world peace, so all the wars are over now and we have to give him the Nobel peace prize and a standing ovation.
Cancel Trump's Secret Service detail.
What do you mean "at this point"? He has been saying it out loud for two years. One of his campaign promises was "Vote for me and you won't have to vote any more".
The Endarkenment.
Absent blindedness.
Kitty Flanagan. No, wait...
They will say he died from being in extreme perfect health.
I never understood "carry on like a pork chop" so I looked it up. It's "carry on like a pork chop in a Synagogue". Now it makes sense.
Idiots.
What do you mean "secretly"?
I read this as one sentence. @mementomorty.bsky.social @abbyhiggs.bsky.social
By far, the handsomest man in Major League Baseball is Bryan Woo. I said what I said. #mlb #mariners #bryanwoo
I know it's counter-intuitive, but let me explain: Now that you have left Australia, you are no longer "down under". I will be taking no questions at this time.
So I guess they will just use real bullets now.
You think there's going to be an election in 2028? Trump's coronation is scheduled for 2026.
Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
Into the Spiderverse.
Happy as a clam? A clam? You mean those tiny things with no brain that just chill on the bottom of the ocean all day in their own little private shells and have absolutely no concept of what’s going on in the nevermind I get it now
Just in time for the Paris Olympics!
It's not shame, they can't risk looking at each other. In the sight of any living creature they turn to stone. It's a fact of their biology. Don't you people watch Doctor Who? #WeepingAngels
The sales girl misunderstood when I asked for "one nightstand", but we had a great time.
It was me. I was thinking about you. As usual.
"Take the Money and Run" by Steve Miller Band. "Texas" rhymes with "facts is" rhymes with "justice" rhymes with "taxes". Apart from that it's a great song.
I don't understand. "No Kings" at "Kings Cross" in a country that loves its king?
I can comment on it. There is no deep state.
President Donald Tr... I can't even finish it.
All of those armored men are wildly overcompensating for the fact that if they walked into a wall with a hard-on, their noses would touch first
I don't know if anyone else can see this, but to me he kinda looks like a cat.
#endarkenment
THANK YOU!
People who press the button and then immediately cross the street without waiting for the lights to change. By the time the lights change, they are already gone and the traffic stops for NO REASON.
We've been seeing articles like this, laying out his incoherent ramblings and talking about cognitive decline, for at least five years now. No one seems to care.
Someone should make an enthralling sci-fi TV show and/or movie spin-off, with intriguing characters and/or a brilliant ensemble cast, and with intricate plot lines and/or excellent writing, and with stunning visual FX and/or action sequences. You know what I'm trying to say and/or imply. #andor
Ronni already told you: bonus points.
But, like, they also got the memecoins, right?
Poop daily.
OMG how can you afford eggs???
AM I EVER GONNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN...
It's good to know that Aussies can still tell their Albo from their arse. #ausvotes2025 #binnight
It's good to know that Aussies can still tell their Albo from their arse. #ausvotes2025 #binnight
ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE-IE-IE
The average American has three friends, but that's 21 in dog friends. #threefriends
Over fifty years after Watergate, we are still adding the suffix "-gate" to almost any word to denote a scandal. If there is ever another scandal at the Watergate Hotel we are going to call it Watergategate.
I predict he'll do an Edelstein first.
Relax, people. He died at Easter. He'll be back in three days.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that that is a weed, because weeds are the only things that grow in raised beds, in my experience.
*pedal* #pedant
Remember when today had a hyphen?
I disagree. If it's enough to keep you awake, it's enough to bother the cops. Keeping you awake is the very definition of "disturbing the peace". I would also be writing a letter of complaint to the owner of the property.
Loch Lomond by Celtic City Sons. youtu.be/zMvhUXhBi4M?...
That's how donald has always run his company. In every transaction he tries to "win" the transaction. If he can't make a deal that favours him unfairly, he just doesn't pay the bill, and calls it a win.
This morning I saw a small leaf stuck to my car and I thought, "That leaf looks like poo. I'll just flick it off." Dear reader, it was poo.
No, quitting is not leading the resistance. She should stay and refuse to comply.
I don't do it. My phone does it.
Nniüq - a small end table.
In this economy?
How long have they been using £ in Lebanon?
Say it with more rhythm.
"Frankly, I don’t know what we are right now." The answer is "police state".
This is nonsense. The Supreme Court already does whatever he wants.
Oooooooooh, nooooooooo.
Fun fact: this is actually The Pointer Sisters. Yes, really. #funfact
Great. Now I can't unhear it. Thanks Patton.
"This was for Cunard?" "Well, it wasn't easy."
I have always been opposed to the death penalty, but today my work colleague was humming, but not humming a tune...
Malarkey.
Calling the systematic oppression of women "traditional roles" is sickeningly offensive.
Show me you in a hat.
The mice are for you. Daphne thinks you look hungry.
I just got stuck on Duolingo thinking, "What's the Spanish word for peso?".
I can't be the only one.
Not to mention, a voice to Ita.
Trousers.
I bet Elon is pissed that he called it twitter.
You misspelled "burning down".
They also want to outlaw all forms of gambling, so be ready for that one.
It gets worse when you discover that their definition of "porn" includes homosexuality, transsexuality, transvestism, and all other divergence from the straight and narrow. i.e. they want to outlaw same-sex relationships and all other LGBTQ+ identity and expression.
The Shape Of Walter
There is a business in Adelaide called Ragrets, Tattoo Removal.
Extremely optimistic of you to think it will only be four years. It will not.
Poop daily.
Calliope.
I tried the U2 GPS, but all the streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
They knew the right answer. They just couldn't bring themselves to write the name of the woman who imploded the economy and killed the queen.
It's Five O'clock Somewhere, by Alan Jackson.
Viva la revolution!
*trumpster fire*
Meatloaf. No. Wait...
