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Mel Malton

@melmalton.bsky.social

🇹🇩Gardener, cook, scribbler and god-botherer. Author of the Polly Deacon mysteries.

created March 6, 2025

286 followers 330 following 1,547 posts

view profile on Bluesky

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Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

That deserves every like it gets.

2/9/2025, 9:20:56 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Be not afraid. Hissssssssss!

2/9/2025, 7:32:25 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Baking is a therapeutic way to get through the slog of processing vegetables.

2/9/2025, 7:29:45 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Sad but true. Though Udi’s frozen gf English muffins are vaguely reminiscent of what bread sort of tastes like.

2/9/2025, 7:28:48 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

We had a tiny yield of 9 oz of little grapes- their first year producing. So I made a dozen grape muffins, using a blueberry muffin recipe. They are excellent. 😁

2/9/2025, 7:21:12 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Of course it’s going to last, you self-absorbed morons.

2/9/2025, 6:58:26 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m doing an experiment. Converting the grocery money into cash and doing most my food shopping at farm markets and family-owned independent groceries. The rest at the bulk store. Will report back.

2/9/2025, 5:11:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

And its gentle companion question: how about a nap?

2/9/2025, 4:58:42 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

That was an entertaining thread. Thanks. I’ve been getting little twiggles of back-to-school memory, too. Mostly nice ones. New notebooks and binders. The smell of a fresh eraser. The new outfit.

2/9/2025, 11:39:49 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

They’re like a creeping rash. There are creams for that.

2/9/2025, 11:28:57 AM | 11 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Just Us coffee in Wolfville, NS - excellent stuff. Fair trade.

2/9/2025, 11:23:36 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Urgh.

2/9/2025, 11:21:44 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

In my day we would have called yon collie a teacher’s pet.

2/9/2025, 9:56:23 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

It *is* nice, isn’t it? A park instead of a freeway.

2/9/2025, 1:30:05 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s very difficult for an educated person to pretend to write like a moron. They get quite complicated sentence structure correct while using moronic words and phrases. Trump’s lunatic ramblings are unfeigned stupidity.

2/9/2025, 12:52:51 AM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Zactly. Nil by mouth.

1/9/2025, 9:27:19 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

The I’m sorry spoken as a question. Deadly.

1/9/2025, 6:36:38 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s a dinner poem, in that picture.

1/9/2025, 6:33:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

O ‘Zactly.

1/9/2025, 6:30:11 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I would love to be at the beginning of Pratchett’s work again. Reading them for the first time. I could almost be sentimental about it.

1/9/2025, 4:32:32 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

And honestly won’t recover much. I think ‘rapid decline’ would be the chart note.

1/9/2025, 4:13:16 PM | 118 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Mexican melons don’t taste of oppression.

1/9/2025, 3:48:49 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social)

Being a good-natured person is not terribly fashionable at the moment.

1/9/2025, 3:19:04 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

“I don’t care,” they say. “I Wanna.”

1/9/2025, 3:16:08 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Neither me. I don’t respond well to being driven.

1/9/2025, 2:23:45 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Hah. But is good First Lady material, da?

1/9/2025, 2:21:36 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

And it’ll be a slow process because buried bodies.

1/9/2025, 2:19:32 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Sweden and Finland, too.

1/9/2025, 1:38:07 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social)

Hah. Loud bee just buzzed around here for a minute, like a teenager on a dirtbike.

1/9/2025, 1:11:14 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

‘Zactly.

1/9/2025, 12:34:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

What a pleasant and calm reaction to the early morning mower. Wishing them well, rather than raging. Although rage would be perfectly understandable.

1/9/2025, 11:15:37 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I like your phrasing about “the assignment”. Sometimes certain behaviour is assigned in order to keep everyone safe. “Please keep calm and move in an orderly fashion to the lifeboats.” The “I Wanna” crowd jump the queue, creating panic, or refuse to comply because they Don’t Wanna. And drown.

1/9/2025, 11:11:47 AM | 37 5 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

We’re watching a lot of Scandinavian noir programs these days. Learning little bits of Finnish, Danish and Swedish.

31/8/2025, 8:59:55 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

And for those English speakers trying to learn one.

31/8/2025, 7:05:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

And isn’t that sad? I’m re-reading Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake trilogy at the moment and it feels like tomorrow. Some of it today.

31/8/2025, 6:59:15 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

All titles soon to be banned. Read ‘em you still can.

31/8/2025, 6:07:45 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Ooh, excellent. And if Zellers could return to all the places where Walmart came in and shut them down with their brutal loss-leader tactics, perhaps they’d do well and we’d be able to boot Wally back to where it came from.

31/8/2025, 12:05:38 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Yep. Processed the small corn crop yesterday because raccoons. Ten cups blanched and put in freezer. Kitchen looked like show-stopper bomb had gone off.

31/8/2025, 10:22:30 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Put the red hat on him and the shirt with his name on it so he can remember who he is when they check him in.

31/8/2025, 10:02:25 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social)

Late summer rose after a rain, just now.

A late rose in evening light, with a rainbow in the distance.
30/8/2025, 10:28:50 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social)

No need for a state funeral. A quick flush should do it. Or save the ashes for the re-planted Rose garden. Time will eventually wipe away the oily smear left on the American psyche.

30/8/2025, 12:41:19 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

These are lovely.

30/8/2025, 9:42:59 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Talk of civil war hasn’t been an exaggeration for weeks. Months, even. Take care of each other, you guys.

29/8/2025, 8:44:17 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Utterly.

29/8/2025, 10:56:33 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

The First Coffee, snatched away, though. Vexing.

29/8/2025, 10:54:47 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social)

So, Texas planning to build a railroad, maybe? History. Repeating. www.bbc.com/news/article...

29/8/2025, 10:14:29 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s a perfectly acceptable reason to have a little morning cry.

29/8/2025, 10:13:20 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh, that’s rotten. Our snipper has behaved so far. They might replace the battery if you kick up a fuss?

28/8/2025, 11:45:44 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Me: coming downstairs in clerical gear. Lucy: side eye and flump on window bed. Me: Going to church. I’ll be back soon. Lucy: Don’t even speak to me. I’m a Canineite and your rituals disgust me.

28/8/2025, 9:18:15 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

We love Ryobi stuff. Interchangeable batteries, excellent power tools, mowers, etc. Sad about the pressure washers and people hurt by them.

28/8/2025, 9:10:01 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

This is just unbelievably petty behaviour on the part of the officials. Dear heavens.

28/8/2025, 8:06:38 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

This was in May. I should think that by now, their appropriately disastrous summer tourism season will have helped them to see that their “goodwill” visit was a waste of time and money.

28/8/2025, 8:04:30 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

So suave. So debonair. And such a silly little come-hither smirk.

28/8/2025, 6:25:50 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Classy lady, your mum.

28/8/2025, 6:16:08 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

My mother used to make typo corrections in books I’d lent her. She’s no longer living, but whenever I come across one, a little pencil scrawl in a margin, she reappears in all her magnificent pedantry.

28/8/2025, 11:49:41 AM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

A child who has discovered Brie cannot be expected to show restraint.

28/8/2025, 9:51:12 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I think that’s a splendid idea. It would give her a chance to get to know the people her husband is supposed to be representing. A chance to experience real life in a real place. Maybe she could try living on a social assistance budget in her farmhouse rental. Something to write about.

27/8/2025, 11:02:36 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

The Pretty Violent Fish would be an excellent band name.

26/8/2025, 7:41:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Hals’s people always look like the people you’d love to have at your next party.

26/8/2025, 7:29:04 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Their friends are divided about the procedure.

26/8/2025, 1:13:24 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

My mother used to say “Don’t worry darling. Nobody’s going to look at you.” And you know, unless you have a desire to be seen, it’s not that hard to vanish. Which can be useful.

26/8/2025, 11:07:21 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

North mountain Annapolis Valley. That’s water coming out of the sky. Glory be.

25/8/2025, 7:26:13 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

That's a pleasing story. 😊

25/8/2025, 2:18:09 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Using Bluesky to try and get dates is like going to the symphony for the peanuts.

25/8/2025, 10:58:38 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Very soon, hopefully, we can call all our Murican neighbours “Trump survivors”.

25/8/2025, 12:30:54 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Abusers are almost always people who were abused. It’s an explanation, but never an excuse.

24/8/2025, 8:26:12 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Thanks for making this a gift article. The fact that there is even a debate anywhere about the fact that slavery is devil is horrifying. You might just as well debate whether water is wet or fire is hot. Slave “owners” have always been evil.

24/8/2025, 8:24:40 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Years ago, doing kids’ theatre in NYC, we got on an express train that took us into Harlem. A kind lady came over as we whizzed passed stop after stop and said “honeys, you are on the wrong train” and guided us personally across to the other side and waited until we boarded to go back down.

24/8/2025, 7:30:50 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Fond of it. O auto correct, you are a scourge.

24/8/2025, 7:23:39 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Gave

24/8/2025, 7:22:55 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I have it to my mum after I painted it. She always wanted me to tone down grandma’s yellow dress but I never got around to it. A bit clunky, but I’m fine of it. Because she was.

24/8/2025, 7:22:42 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

And en for no. Hiilya for quiet. And satanaan perkele for swearing. Good things to know. Though my spelling is likely all wrong.

24/8/2025, 7:19:26 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Did this 34 years ago.

Acrylic painting of farm family in Annapolis Valley, against backdrop of Cape Blomidon
24/8/2025, 10:56:25 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I love the pace of it. And the fact that the characters don’t change their outfits every five minutes. Not to mention the conversational Finnish. 😁

24/8/2025, 9:55:39 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I like to get the general news o’ the day on BBC and CBC and then see what people have to say about it. Sometimes (often) Bluesky is far more up to the minute.

24/8/2025, 12:21:08 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Watching Deadwood these days. Finnish. Scandy Noirs are splendid. But very hurdy hur.

24/8/2025, 12:18:12 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

That cat is badass.

24/8/2025, 12:13:00 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Yes, that’s it. Yum.

23/8/2025, 10:34:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Yes indeed. 😳

23/8/2025, 10:34:16 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Everybody’s welcome. 😊

23/8/2025, 10:33:55 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Thanks for that. Forwarded to my desktop. 😁

23/8/2025, 8:57:42 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Time to turn those paycheques into folding money.

23/8/2025, 8:51:11 PM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Well really, it would be best if Vermont just quit being part of Murica, and became a province of Canada.

23/8/2025, 8:50:26 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Wot tizzit?

23/8/2025, 8:21:37 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I think that was beautifully said. Spoken by a player who is actually controlling the game quite handily.

23/8/2025, 8:20:20 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Thanks for a proper belly laugh. My belly would like more of this.

23/8/2025, 8:15:51 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I love the smell of a philosopher in the morning.

23/8/2025, 9:59:33 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Grin.

22/8/2025, 9:56:19 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social)

I’ve been trying to find the appropriate name for the country south of us. I mean, to differentiate the continent from the incontinent. I think Murica works best.

22/8/2025, 8:31:12 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

The fact that this abuse material is all over the internet, that’s a trigger for lots of people who have lived it. But I’d rather see it out there than locked away. Thanks for your kindness.

22/8/2025, 8:18:46 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

So, you have secret police everywhere. O please revolt.

22/8/2025, 8:15:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Thanks. He went to jail, eventually. Which is what I wish for the one in the White House. It’d be a relief for everyone.

22/8/2025, 8:10:31 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

The Oval Office, these days, reminds me of the sleazy basement bar that my friend Allison’s dad had in the 70s. He was a diddler, too. As Alison knew and I found out.

22/8/2025, 8:03:02 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Out of touch much, pastor?

22/8/2025, 7:57:46 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

đŸŽ”There’s a bathroom on the rightâ€ŠđŸŽ”

22/8/2025, 10:04:27 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

I suspect that Full Gilead is not that far away, in some states, anyway.

21/8/2025, 8:05:07 PM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Theng-kew. 😁

21/8/2025, 4:53:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Dachshund.

21/8/2025, 4:17:34 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Full Gilead. Nice one.

21/8/2025, 4:13:02 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mel Malton (@melmalton.bsky.social) reply parent

Wow. This is a fascinating and expertly written article. And has some hope in it, at the end. Well worth the read. Thanks.

21/8/2025, 3:54:14 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view