100%.
Commentary • Satirical Emeritus
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100%.
Dean Cain got exactly what he wished for: he collected ICE’s sign-on bonus, was ‘injured,’ and is now out on disability.
They will literally say **ANYTHING**.
RADDATZ: One of the things they are trying to do in DC with the National Guard is have them back up local law enforcement WES MOORE: They are picking up trash
😂🥴😂
Release the Epstein files.
I don’t care which side of the political aisle you’re on — this was moving.
Trump needs to post an unhinged, hateful all caps screed as proof of life
We went from modern science to medicine wagon in 7 months.
In a national poll, 9 out of 10 American flags prefer Governor Gavin Christopher Newsom.
Pulling firefighters away from an active fire is hardly going after the real criminals.
Good.
Hey Mark- Told one of my chiropractic patients about Cost Plus Drugs last week and your mission after he complained a skin cancer medicine was going to cost him $1700- He found it on your website for under $20- for real. Best project ever. @costplusdrugs.com
The damage this man has done is incalculable.
“If it weren’t for the brainworms and heroin, I wouldn’t look this healthy.” #MAHA
I truly don’t understand the people who think teachers telling children how to run, hide, and fight during school shootings is normal but think a teacher acknowledging that someone has two moms or two dads is indoctrination.
Jan Carey is charged with lighting a fire in an undesignated area and in a manner causing damage to real property or park resources — Class "B" misdemeanors, typically resolved in D.C. with a small fine, per this story. He called Trump's executive order bluff.
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Yup. 👍
🎯 🎯 🎯
The sitting President of the United States raped children and he’s in no danger of being held accountable for it.
Republican Sen. Joni Ernst announced she will not run for reelection. When asked why, she said, “Well, we’re all going to die anyway.”
She couldn’t even get him for assault with a deli weapon.
Today’s update from Weirdo HQ.
FOX: *plays clip of Gavin Newsom pointing out that crime is higher in Louisiana than in California* FOX: Your response? MIKE JOHNSON: He needs to go an govern his state and not be engaging in this
We FOUND him. 👇
You’re saying that telling your constituents they don’t need healthcare because they’re gonna die anyway isn’t winning politics?
Disgraceful.
If Ashli Babbitt's parents really wanted to avenge her death they would, instead of pitifully whitewashing her legacy, be suing Fox News for filling their child's gullible head with dangerous nonsense that directly led to her death.
A visibly shaken Kristi Noem, exhausted by Trump’s constant color changes, paints the border wall rainbow-colored.
Republicans could affect gun violence in America. They just don’t care.
JD Vance on Trump sending troops into cities: "The president is not going out there forcing this on anybody." (Tell that to Los Angeles ... )
Let’s spin the wheel. Susan Collins is ‘extremely alarmed’ by the Trump administration’s firing of the CDC director.
The economy must be getting better, even Chacci got a job.
Refusing to act, then falsely accusing those who want to see something tangible done to protect kids of attacking prayer on top of it, is doubly shameless.
Anyone who assaults a police officer in DC will be charged with a felony. Especially if they do so during our forthcoming military funeral for Ashli Babbitt. by Jeanine Pirro
Just admit it: You love your guns more than your children. The first step is acknowledging the problem.
Newsom: Perhaps the president could deploy the National Guard in every corner of Mississippi. Murder rate is out of control there. And the governor may want to make that phone call.
Sick, sick people.
The chairman of the Surry County Board of Elections claimed that someone at Dairy Queen had put drugs in his granddaughters’ ice cream. A video from the investigation revealed that he was the one who put the narcotics in it. After his arrest, he resigned. www.wral.com/news/local/s...
AMERICA: “It’s a mental health issue.” REST OF THE WORLD: “We have those. But don’t have mass shootings.” AMERICA: “It’s video games.” WORLD: “We have those too. But don’t have mass shootings.” AMERICA B: “It’s cause they took Jesus out of the classroom.” WORLD: “God, you’re stupid.”
Another school shooting...
No beautiful obituaries today, but we’ve gotta have faith.
Guns may also be contributing to gun violence.
Just a friendly reminder that Ashli Babbitt was violent thug who fell for the Big Lie and deserved to get shot.
Profiles in courage.
“See ya later, alligator.” “In a while, pedophile.” 👋
Let’s all take a moment to reflect on how this just absolute alpha male sprayed on his hair for TV
Kristi Noem is working harder than an STD in The Villages. Trump now wants his border wall to reflect America’s Golden Age.
Don't get it twisted. Trump is having the National Guard pick up trash to debase them. He hates the military. He is incapable of understanding anyone who would make sacrifices for the greater good. He thinks they are suckers and losers, and he's treating them as such.
A quarter of a billion dollars for this. 👇
Iowa tonight is exactly why Republicans are redrawing their maps.
Top CDC leaders leave as the director is pushed out. They say RFK Jr. and the Trump regime are “weaponizing public health” and “generating materials that do not reflect scientific reality” www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...
China is the largest buyer, accounting for 47% of Russia’s crude oil exports. But the only country being punished for buying or selling it is India. 🙄
Antifa is everywhere.
RULE ABOUT AMERICAN FLAGS: If you burn the fabric part, you're looking at jail. But it you use the pole part to assault a police officer, you get a presidential pardon, praise, and some cash.
Frey: And don't just say, this is about thoughts and prayers right now. These kids were literally praying. It was the first week of school. They were in a church.
I can’t. 🤷♂️
Who do you pray to when you’re being shot at in church? ❤️🩹
No, it’s real.
The US National Guard. We’re looking for a few good janitors.
You can’t indict a ham sandwich. Another remarkable failure by the US Attorney’s Office in DC. This is the second time it has failed to bring an indictment in a felony assault case against a federal agent — and it’s a sharp rebuke of Trump’s move to militarize DC.
I can’t believe his hand isn’t healing as quickly as his ear did.
Slept well last night knowing that the Cracker Barrel logo had been restored. Can’t think of anything to be worried about at all now.
Is this what they voted for? China First? #BeijingFirst
Trump's wealth has DOUBLED since he's become President. AND the taxpayers pick up the cost of his luxury lifestyle. And you're paying more for everything. Not because of natural economic factors, but because he's INTENTIONALLY driving prices up for you.
Very possible.
Lara Trump set up a fake charity and robbed the dog. Nancy Mace kept checking its genitals. Then Kristi Noem shot it.
What if Russia sends sharks with lasers on their heads and they grab onto the windmill at the bottom and then the centrifugal force hurls them onto our territory and then boom, there's laser sharks right on your street, President Trump is very concerned about that and every American should be too
Wow. When I first read about this I assumed this was an anonymous letter. But turns out they had the courage to sign their names to it knowing the consequences of a highly vindictive Trump. Lots of respect.
Witkoff: "There's only one thing I wish for: that that Nobel committee finally gets its act together and realizes that you are the single finest candidate since that Nobel award was ever talked about."
ngl I kind of think Sam Altman should be tried criminally? is that … feasible?
“I’m not going to be ignored when I see umbrella guns.” - Nancy Mace
Dems flip Iowa’s first state senate district, break GOP supermajority in Des Moines www.siouxlandproud.com/news/your-lo...
“Another war your favorite president stopped — I saved Cracker Barrel.”
Trump won this district by 11.5 points.
If all the MAGA crowd jumped in a lake and caught that brain-eating amoeba, how would we even know?
Melania Trump uses an AI video of herself to encourage children to enter her AI Contest. #BeBest
RFK Jr claims that windmills are "wiping out the whale population" in the Atlantic
I can't do another three years of this shit
"For those people out there who ... say, 'Well, I just don't like those people either' ... You could be next. ... This is not about any one individual, this is about our rights as Americans, and our right to have a justice system where choices about prosecuting are made without fear or favor."
My current favorite bit of right-wing Christian hypocrisy is Ken Paxton, a man whose wife is divorcing him for adultery, forcing Texas schools to unconstitutionally post "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery." www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston...
Trump: “If my hand gets any blacker, I’m not going to let it vote.”
Nancy Mace had to cancel her “Mother of Town Halls” last night. Six people showed up—one with an umbrella. Meanwhile, she had a full SWAT team standing guard all night.
Jordy: I call it the leaky fascist faucet. You have CEOs giving Trump gold, then it's let's do a little gerrymandering, let's send the National Guard into this one city, and the next. And then? It'll be: We need to deploy the military during elections to make sure no "election fraud" is happening.
Not a cult in any way
🥴😳🥴
Maybe the 15-year-old girls were trying to get our data back? Nineteen-year-old Edward Coristine, ‘Big Balls,’ provided services to a cybergang that bragged about trafficking stolen data, hijacking numbers, hacking law enforcement, stealing crypto, and stalking an FBI agent.
Trump on deploying the National Guard to Chicago: "I have the right to do anything I want to do. I'm the president of the United States."
So Trump’s cabinet officials have now said that he saved Christianity, Christmas, and College Football. bsky.app/profile/atru...
Vladimir Putin would make a better U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services than Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., it seems.
The BIG beautiful bruise.
MAGA is still processing this one.
Do you really think they’re going to impeach him?
Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook disputes Trump’s authority and says she will not resign.
Trump has proposed a one-year prison sentence for individuals who desecrate the American flag. What’s the penalty if you assault one?
Stephen Miller is completely full of shit, and he knows it. He's selling hatred of cities to people who do not live in cities and are scared of them.
🚨BREAKING: In a landmark victory for voters, a Utah judge struck down the state Legislature’s gerrymandered congressional map and reinstated the citizen-led redistricting reforms voters approved in 2018. www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...
The Department of Labor headquarters has turned itself into a shrine—hanging a massive portrait of Trump across its facade.
