Dateline fan, plant lover, can be crass
24 followers 36 following 89 posts
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Flaccid carrot. 😭
Happy Birthday! 🎉🎂
Sometimes I go on instagram and see what everyone’s been up to. Turns out I still hate couples gym photos and my sister definitely needs to use a lip liner
I’m looking at VRBO’s and the amount of houses in the woods without curtains is crazy.
it looks like a very light shade of pink to me which doesn’t pair well with that shade of yellow
She literally could have worn anything!
He is such a kiss ass
He made time to be an asshole. Who can listen to that many podcast?
Its like they only wanted the right to refuse service if it was for a minority group
Said by the man selling the glasses, and why doesn’t he make them look even slightly normal? Folks would be more inclined to buy them if they weren’t FUCKING UGLY
I love to listen to music and just get all keyed up
Fucking hell. This gif has me in tears
'wOuLd YoU sTiLl LoVe Me iF I wAs A wOrM?' I don't know, can a worm give a blowjob?
Every time I see the pilot to The Golden Girls, I'm shocked at how good it was. Even in the beginning they had great chemistry. Not many TV shows start that strong. You wouldn't believe how many shows are recommended to me with the tagline of, 'you just have to get through the first two seasons.' 🙄
I love the saxophone, it is under used. So many great songs and bands had a saxophone. I'm thinking of SOS by ABBA and Alto Reed from The Silver Bullets.
Looks delicious!!
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I wasn't terribly concerned with them saying yes because I was wearing sandals and a 'Who farted?' t-shirt.
My neighbors were having loud sex again last night. I had to say something. I went over there and when the door opened I peeked in and said, 'looking for a third?'
Stop putting those ‘In Loving Memory’ stickers on your car. Marvin died in 2005. Get over it.
I saw that, her post on instagram was weird.
what is a sandwich without some leafy greens?
If I wake up to my neighbor’s gyrating-quick-shot boyfriend one more time, I may leave a note saying I can hear it and to maybe keep it down or find two minutes for sex some other time
So much of this is being overblown to distract from the Epstein Files and the Epstein Survivors.
The gyrator rides again! But not far…
Thank you, I’m sick of hot takes. I don’t want to hear everyone’s opinion about everything
Don’t repost your own stuff, we saw it the first time
The latest song I’ve had on repeat is Faith by George Michael. It’s a goddamn banger.
I’m happy it lasted less than two minutes!! 😭
There is no place for democracy in our violence
😭
Hell yeah!
I didn’t win anything. 🥲
We’re the patriots, they don’t give a damn about real American freedom. #NoKings
Woke up at 2:00 am last night to my neighbors having sex. The dude’s a fucking gyrator AND a quick shot. Two minutes, in and done. When it comes to hot pockets even my microwave outlasts him.
‘…you can lead a horse to water, but what are you gonna do about that horse face?’
…it was a crisp September morning, one that foreshadowed how cold-hearted murder can get. (Cue the dramatic 911 call)
How great do I look in this photo?
How bout those dolphins?
No, don’t start a podcast.
Chelsea Blander
Twenty minutes is too long to microwave a dead bird
Renovations are happening at the office and I was MOVING things today. SO TIRED.
They make a great burger
Non Midwesterners don’t understand how good a Mushroom & Swiss butter burger from Culver’s is. And the fried cheese curds are mandatory.
Release the Epstein files. The only exceptions should be to protect the survivors NOT the predators.
Goddamn. Get that guitar a cigarette.
I love how he said, ‘Donald Trump and Stephen Miller.’ Stephen Miller is behind so much, and so many things no deputy White House chief of staff has had the power to do.
Sobbing.
Thank you!! I’m back and ready for the next season of #Dateline
I love how they still fall for it. 😅
It’s really not too much to ask!
Every few months I’ll buy a pack of cigarettes and have maybe one a week. But then one day I go crazy and have two. So I throw them out thinking, ‘what a disgusting habit.’ Then a few months later the cycle starts over.
Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice shame on me Fool me a third time hey this is a pretty good scam can i get in on this
It’s been a month and I’m loving my new job. I get along great with my bosses only complaint is that I’m not learning as quick as I’d have hoped but that’s on me.
😭
Didn’t need another reason not to go but here it is
I’m so woke now that any form of straight PDA is revolting
UGH, I love those welders jackets!
HAD IT with podcasts. Why does everyone have a podcast?
Yeah, make sure there’s security footage next time. We’re making a tv show not a podcast! Although…
I just know I’d end up someone’s bitch …because I’m too nice, I hate to be rude and say no
What’s a bit frightening to me is if the sudden restricted access to him isn’t because of a health issue but because he’s turning to a new phase of authoritarian where the press is left out in the cold and there’s no longer the opportunity to hold him accountable to his face.
🥲
😅
Wow
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RFK Jr., driving away with Rudy Guliani tied to the roof of his car
What a sweetie! ❤️
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In a classic twisted turn of events that life often provides, watch him die before they get justice.
Fuckin clanker.
[being murdered] murderer: (murdering) what are you doing on your phone me: (putting away phone) my bad what's up what's going on
💀
😅
Love Jen. She is hot shit. 🔥
😭
Sobbing.
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Bored? Me? And on a holiday weekend? Yes. Did a puzzle, used the elliptical, and drove past a house featured on #Dateline
I’m back, baby!