Flanoy said, restraint! There shall be no fighting here!
World’s Okayest Lawyer™️ 📽️⛹🏻♀️👩🏻🍳✈️🐕🐈🥃🇺🇦 I listen to nu metal. And Lady Gaga. Don’t DM me. (“Just CHAnGe yOUR settInGS…” Shut up, you’re being tedious.)
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Flanoy said, restraint! There shall be no fighting here!
The 73-year-old football coach dating a 24-year-old just used the phrase “there’s no pill you can take” in reference to fixing poor tackling in his team’s debut, and I am intensely uncomfortable.
I’m so glad I have too much other shit going on to be invested in Carolina stuff rn.
lol, you don’t know me or my life, you absolute freak. Stay out of my universe, weirdo.
I’m so sorry to hear we lost Graham Greene.
Worth it!
It absolutely isn’t. Thanks for playing, though!
Some men will literally die instead of going to prison
Is that the face of a liar? Of a scoundrel?
Millennials are 40-ish, Martha.
Thank you, workers, of all varieties! Happy Labor Day.
Today I took an unintentional nap while watching Death Becomes Her. The kind of nap where you wake yourself up with aggressive open-mouth snores.
Rough 26, bruh
This man is a legend. Linsanity was such a special time.
Awww he put his treasures together 🥹🥹
Gross, dude
Good to see you remembered your socks!
lol dude looked after Mohawk guy like “excuse me, audacity”
It’s uncanny
La Décapitation de saint Georges, Bernat Martorell, 1430
Yesterday Gonzo said he was “indoortaining” himself and I felt that
1. 100%
You there, gay boy, did it happen yet
Send him to the cornfield send him to the cornfield send him to the cornfield 🤞🏼🤞🏼
P is on a temporary hiatus from choosing movies. Eddington? Bust. Together? Pass. Weapons? I don’t care what anyone says, I didn’t like it. They didn’t even use the salt right.
Always double tap.
Girl, don’t start with “Huge News.” I was about to find a bottle of bubbles
You deserve. You add a lot of good to the world.
Apple time, Apple time
I just saw someone refer to rfk jr as microwaved mel gibson & i can’t unsee it.
Let’s go girls.
Happy birthday, Momb!! Thank you for all you do to make our days a little more cheerful. 🧡🧡🧡
Indoortaining is what I’m talkin’ about.
“You should listen to your friend, Billy Zane. He’s a cool dude.” is a (mis?)quote I utter at least 3x a week.
Hey, know what would be even more rad? If they stopped voting for her.
The files are IN the computer… it’s so simple
Whenever you’re ready, curse.
I feel like she wouldn’t be annoyed by the doorbell if you weren’t already 39 flavors of annoying as a preamble
If your house were “Suits” you’d repeatedly remind McQ “it’s MY name on the door”
If anyone gets the opportunity to scream “mitochondria is the power house of the cell, you freak bitch” at RFK Jr., it’s pretty much your patriotic duty to do so
Very good whiskers
Current Mood
I think I got the last TikTok shop delivery airliner out of Shenzhen
A brick wall on wheels with a mural of a trendy nightclub
So I have to stop feeding random pedestrians my bread scraps? Lmao what
All children deserve childhoods free from violence and terror.
Jfc this person is asking for a swirlie
I’m overly annoyed by this.
Something something Mama Cass
Dandy can have all of my money.
Now I know that fuckin food is good
I depression-bought a couple of outfits while in the hospital and now I get to choose one to wear to my appointment with this kidney chick.
23/m/bakersfield, u?
I tried really hard to get one of the doctors to write me a prescription for Taking in the Sea Air but they’re all pretty useless.
I would do crimes. One big neuro-no-thank-you to the hacking noises.
Lol
Without downloading any new images, where am I mentally… hang on give me like 9 minutes … there we go
Remember when recruiting commercials were like, a heavy Godsmack soundtrack and a bunch of dudes rolling up in amphibious vehicles?
Either way, both kings deserve
I have my theories and you have yours
Me too. Just … people vet.
It’s literally like, “I went camping recently and it was so boring I pooped in my friend’s shoe for the plot. The plot of what? The Aristocrats!🤗”
Yall, I have her name muted. Please talk about literally anything else
And he still looks like an extra from Weapons
The only engagement we should be worried about in these times is the engagement between fascism and the got damned orange Cheeto in the White House
Mom: are they sure all this isn’t related to Covid vaccines? Me, dutifully: I’ll be happy to ask my doctor. (Asks Doctor, Doctor’s like, girl, no) Me: Doctor says zero relationship between anything Covid and my kidneys Mom: -__- “K” Jeanine, if you don’t get out of my office SWIFTLY…
It came out shortly after my baby brother was born so it was a special thing I got to do with my uncle and cousin to get out of the house. And now my baby brother is giant and he has his own baby.
That time my dad came tearing across the house at full speed to yell “pinko” in my face because I explained to my mom the concept of plant based milks (she had asked me how they’re made)
For anyone who’s ever been a tourist in Chicago, kinda the main attraction is walking outside to go to dinner.
If you include me in your starter pack there will be consequences. Unless the starter pack is like Silly Geese or Friends of Cats or like The Original Power Rangers Movie (1995) Was Weirdly Underrated - Discuss Here
being afraid of the subway is so fucking funny. you mean the choo-choo train???
Governors should dispense with the notion of “getting in trouble.” Bitch, trouble with whom? The establishment? Oh no. Anyway.
Literally sometimes matters need attention. Hence the demand.
I’m stuck between 1 and 3. I’m thinking 3 as an onomatopoeia-ish for ennuiiiiiiiii
Dab of rubbing alcohol usually works for the itch if you don’t have topical benadryl on hand.
DJ Khaled!
No Bob Loblaw? Lol
Snoop was our MAGA boomer uncle this whole time. We let him hide too long. He, like JKR, should’ve just sat there and ate his food
After you start mending from illness/injury and you feel the need to “extend your sincere apologies” for the delay on your end. Fuck capitalism, man.
This was a family party where we stayed the night and this little inner group has breakfast together. I’m grateful for this because we don’t have much like it in my side of the family.
I make a mean breakfast. Breakfast: “Fuck you.”
On the rare occasion I’m in bed before P and I’m scrolling TikTok, my algorithm knows to show me marching bands and I think that’s nice
phone autocorrected top gun to too fun, which is sassy enough to rise to the occasion of mirroring the homoerotic nature of the volleyball scene in the movie
Some of you inspire me to be even more annoying
I just call mine “babe.”
Hydration is important. Take it from me, whose kidneys almost failed last week.
There’s a goat!!!! Sorry for screaming the obvious.
Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of Counter You Order At https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
Why does it seem meaner for it to be a WWI guy?
Dude they’re taking my blood pressure like 5x a day and all I want to do is cross cross applesauce
So I’m biased because I’m messing around with different BP meds but it really might be
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