Let Borat’s daughter put it on him. 🏅
✨ attorney at lol ✨Larry David is my inner monologue narrator ✨ it’s us vs. the billionaires
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Let Borat’s daughter put it on him. 🏅
Just saw someone refer to Cheryl Hines as The Marvelous Mrs. Measles and 💀💀💀💀💀💀
What if nobody has seen him for 72 hours because he’s busy down in the tunnels with the child-trafficking lizard people getting his weekly adrenochrome infusion? Explains a lot of things, doesn’t it?
We’re only asking questions. 🧐
Yes, but trash begets trash and all.
I saw Goody Proctor burning Old Glory during the Devil’s Sacrament! 🔥 🇺🇸
I saw Goody Proctor burning Old Glory at the Devil’s Sacrament!!!
I feel this one in my bones.
Hey Christians, which Bible verse is the one about the totem pole to get into heaven?
Fining a billionaire ❌ Violates 8th Amendment Alligator Alcatraz ✅ Does not violate 8th Amendment
Dominant hand is on top, obviously.
Fun fact: John Dougan, a former Palm Beach County Sheriff's Deputy, has the only known copy of the full video archives seized from Epstein's house. He is also one of only 4 people ever granted asylum to Moscow, where he now resides.
When you’re having trouble with your DUI field test…
I’m cackling. 😭🥪
Full Metal Jackoffs getting outrun by a drunk white guy in boat shoes throws a real wrench into “your days as a lawless town are DONE” rhetoric
Blackballed?! What’s the charge? Eating a succulent Polish pierogi meal?
Remember that during the relevant time periods, Donald Trump was a registered Democrat and billionaire.
Protect your culture! First, they came for the Juggalos!
I am definitely disappointed in Hakeem Jeffries over his lack of support for Mamdani. 🙁 Then again, it may signal a new era of populist (energizing!) candidates who break the party mold.
Adams and Cuomo are washed up deviants attaching themselves to another deviant, Donald Trump, for their own self interests. Dems chose their nominee. Cuomo, unsurprisingly, doesn’t care about consent and won’t take no for an answer. Adams is a criminal who should be in jail.
Lurch got bit by a zombie and hid it from the rest of the group. 🧟♂️
Larry David is my inner monologue narrator. It’s neat.
I reviewed the Tesla Diner, congrats to me on my new career as a food critic
It's not the crime as much as it's the coverup.
Seinfeld people, iykyk
We don’t kink shame. Unless your kink is human suffering. Shame on Nancy Mace!!!
“Biggest Deal in History” is a great chyron as it relates to the Epstein question.
You know how some people are so rich that they don’t go to the department store, the department store comes to them? 🎯
It’s like when you’re so rich that Saks brings 5th Ave to your house on a wardrobe rack. That’s the message.
This dude is a nonstop one man crime spree. www.westword.com/news/lauren-...
Did Trump watch the South Park episode in full, you think? 😂
Sundog, a memecoin by crypto billionaire Justin Sun, just posted a meme depicting its mascot controlling the White House. Sun has spent (or will shortly spend) a total of $213 million on Trump-connected crypto projects.
![Tweet screenshot: SunDog @SUNDOG_TRX You never truly know who’s pulling the strings… 🤫 [AI-generated image of a corgi dog with a collar depicting the Tron logo, paws raised above the White House, with strings attached to the paws like a marionette] 2:30 AM Jul 24, 2025](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:exrxvyu6bpoym6mbnctke5tn/bafkreigsccsb3rboe3qjtuuicshmrhyho65cwntbj4syjn5y2gkil5m45a@jpeg "Click to view full size")
Find: “Biden” Replace: “Trump”
Oops: On Joe Rogan’s podcast in September 2018, Tulsi Gabbard acknowledged that Russia interfered in the 2016 election. Rogan called it “amazing” that it took until 2016 for foreign election influence to become a major issue in the U.S.
Trump got those saggy titties lol.
Executive Order: Every NFL team must immediately choose an offensive mascot based on a widely recognized slur. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
You couldn’t get 90% of Americans to agree that ice cream is delicious.
Lucky you! I had so many Blue Jays today. They were so playful and fun to watch. I had a crow stop by to grab a peanut about three days ago. Wish I had more!
It’s only terrorism if you hurt a Tesla or a CEO.
Smarter than your average voter!
Are you a fellow Crow Bro? 🐦⬛
Climate change takes time. Be patient.
The real socialism is hidden in the corn fields of Iowa! 🌽 🤫
Point: Consumer prices are low. Counterpoint: It costs me $200 to leave the house for any damn reason whatsoever.
Mrs. Doubtfire has really let herself go. 😔
Bro, they have all moved on to Rosie O’Donnell, the real threat to America.
Meanwhile, Chuck Grassley is planning another 6 year term.
Lurch Scourge, bro.
Shocked to hear Ken Paxton has a wandering eye.
His eye ain’t the only thing wandering, that’s facts.
Wow, that guy is gonna have every other weekend visitation and child support arrears before he even knows it. 🥹
Dr. Pepper had to flee Texas to his new home at the Sorbonne due to rising anti-intellectualism.
Joe Biden kept the keys to the weather machine? After Trump specifically asked him not to??
“Thoughts and prayers” = one donation to The Human Fund.
Listen 50% of the internet sucks but the other 50%, like this, gives me life
Good ole American exceptionalism.
She a full on skitch.
The George Santos of the South.
5th place is just 4th to lose. SAD!
Fuckin Lurch does it again.
The people who can’t remember who was president in 2020 during Covid? The same ones who are mad Obama didn’t do enough on 9/11? No way!
Just keep rescheduling elections for “two weeks from now.” Very MAGA.
Well Fox News said novels would turn them gay, sooo
Can we please never listen to another word NS has to say?
Yeah, but then you would have to deal with Secretary of the Interior Toby Keith.
Can’t believe that George Santos endorsement didn’t put him over the top
Pardoned Capitol Rioters have no regrets and are attempting to rewrite the history of January 6th. From attending GOP events to appearances in right-wing media — Pardon Tracker is monitoring their statements, activities, and networks. Donate to support this project:
eMISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Who’s gonna be the first to fall out a window is the real question nobody is asking.
Gen X has long been labeled the Trumpiest generation. Makes sense given their cynicism.
Boomers really miss being able to sexually harass people and call them retards without consequences.
Every weird outcast kid who carried a creepy notebook filled with the names of his enemies grew up and got a job at ICE.
Maybe they shouldn’t have immediately run to the “not one leak” flex?
Damn, is Diddy too busy to give an endorsement?
Oh shit, I’m cooked if they look at my meme folder.
A self-endorsement, if you will.
Whatever makes sense
Fucking dorks. No wonder there’s a masculinity crisis.
Put it in the “Historically Bad Takes” exhibit at the Louvre.
Hey Siri, play Fortunate Son. 🚁
@greenday.bsky.social Please write a 2025 American Idiot. The world needs a rock opera score to backdrop whatever the fuck this is. ♥️ 💣
at least toby keith is dead this time
He will send a fully armed battalion to distract you from his crimes Da da da da da, da da da da da da da 👑
Then file Articles of Impeachment, friend.
Jump in in, the water’s fine (but the sky is falling)
Their moms said they could get vests OR boots, but she was not spending money on both, so decisions were made.
They went to a surplus store to shop for cosplay outfits after celebrating their pardons, most likely.
Look at that masked gaggle of pussy LARPs and figure out why we have a masculinity crisis. 🐈⬛ 👄
Accidental Renaissance
Ferrets. She got too close to the hair piece.
Oh Lawdy, she got a bad case of the woke!
Helpful tip: You can almost always figure out someone’s feelings on bombing Iran based on whether they pronounce it “Iran” or “Iran.”
Somebody dig the MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner out of storage, quick!