I haven't bothered to look but I assume someone did the Icebox Plums with the Epstein Birthday card.
Flappin' my arms, I began to cluck (Quack-quack) Look at me, I'm the disco duck
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I haven't bothered to look but I assume someone did the Icebox Plums with the Epstein Birthday card.
In Canada if you get kicked out of the Racist Party for being too racist you can just start your own New Racist Party.
He's addicted to dying.
Lying about having your signature -when there's a whole field of experts who can analyze it- on a birthday card sent to someone you can't deny being friends with is wild. Try doing that in your own life and see what happens.
"Someone forged my signature to blackmail me 8 months into my second, non-consecutive term."
It's wild to have something with your signature on it and say, "That ain't me, dawg."
On top of everything Trump is a bad artist and writer.
I saw a thread of people posting perfect 90's albums, and while there's so many there was also a trend where artists would put like 2-20 minutes of silence on a CD and then a throwaway hidden bonus track that makes listening to them now arduous.
People are mad about the $1000 Lego Death Star like they're obligated to buy it.
"Hi, I can't come into work today because Trump has sent in the National Guard and the Governor has barricaded the city with salt trucks. ...I'm fired? Okay."
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
The dumbest part of the last ten years is that whenever Trump does something new people act like that's the worst thing he's ever done and ignoring all context. So yesterday it was him declaring jihad on Chicago and today it's him being rude to a reporter.
"We here in Gooners Against Goons do solemnly believe in our inalienable freedom against tyranny, and we intend to fight!"
What is he doing to Snoopy?
In about a year or two it'll come out that RFK Jr. was behind the Chicago Tylenol Murders.
It used to be you would never hear from or about the VP unless they misspelled, "Potato," but Vance is a special little guy. Even Cheney wasn't sticking his neck out when he was ordering wetworks for Big Oil.
The worst part about this is that there's people who think this goes hard.
*Trump has the military invade an American city.* Person who has posted the same way since 2015: "Sir, this is a Wendy's."
This is such a bad response I genuinely don't know where to begin.
I thought the highest and best use was having them stand around on local street corners harassing minorities?
I always wondered when America would napalm its own citizens.
Seinfeld, Dane Cook and Chris D'Elia are mad because he stole their bit.
Gyp, you done fucked up.
They're coming for the Hipsters!
We need you to infiltrate a notorious pedophile hangout. To make sure they don't suspect you, you will be a real-life pedophile. To do this, we are going to have you become best friends with the main pedophile for years, and then to ensure you don't get in trouble, you need to get elected president.
A fun thing about people using AI to do something is that anyone can use AI to do the same thing just as badly. I could have an AI do it now if I was a bigger loser.
Another fun thing is that there's only a few hundred dots.
It's like if the X-Files was about teenage Mulder trying to get his testicles back from a ghost.
They have more bases in Canada than Canada has bases in Canada.
Trump tip-toeing through Little St. James making xylophone sounds.
Jesus Christ, America.
Usually that's called war.
When journalists go straight into laughing and using memes to dunk on you instead of actually trying to debunk what you just said you know it's the dumbest shit ever.
It should be illegal to say something so incredibly stupid on camera going into the weekend.
So Trump would have had inside knowledge about everything going on (which he did), and never tried to name names even though some of the people are his political opponents and he had personal evidence.
Then Epstein didn't go back on trial until 2019, two years after Trump took office. Then there's the idea that Trump was only snitching about the pedo stuff and not all the money laundering and financial crimes, which were the main draw before the Lolita honey trap stuff.
So Trump admittedly would have already known about Epstein being a pedo and was letting him get massages from 16-year-olds in Mar-a-lago. Also: why were there 16-year-olds working in a spa?
I like the idea that Trump was an undercover trying to take down Epstein and that's only magically come up now. They already had enough for a case as far back as 2005 and that was two years before he and Trump had a supposed falling out in 2007.
So he was a part of the Deep State.
Step 1: Introduce tariffs to force companies to build in the US. Step 2: Those companies hire hundreds of foreign workers. Step 3: Those workers are deported by ICE. Step 4: The company's sales slump and they shut down the factories instead of hiring American workers. Step 5: ??? Step 5: Profit.
The thing about the Navy Seals killing North Koreans and the US blowing up a Venezuelan boat is that they're doing that stuff all the time and you only ever hear about it if they spectacularly fuck up or if they think it will be good propaganda.
It'll just be 43 minutes of him eating frozen peas like that Will Smith eating spaghetti AI vid.
Yay!
Ricky Bobby-ass world leaders.
When Space Command moves will they even need a truck or could all the boxes fit in the back seat?
I saw two Cybertrucks on the highway and they were different colors than the ones I've seen before, meaning they were new to me. I hate it here.
If he wasn't dead before, he's dead now:
Who the hell is that?
Every photo of Trump now is like a photo of Sasquatch.
Trump's dead again.
I forgot they did a Torgo the White bit to send off TV's Frank.
"Why didn't Gamera just fly them to Mordor?"
Bill read this
Everything is lining up for it to be a September to Remember. It's going to be like 9/12 x a million. Billie Joe Armstrong is going to be wide awake.
His doctor, sadly: "It's Mueller's time."
Trump, Biden and Clinton locked into a three-way battle to see who dies first. *Bill Clinton bursts through the wall like Kool-Aid Man when he hears, "three-way."
It would be funny if Rudy tried to run as mayor again.
Why is he still being called, "Mayor?" Is it 2001 again?
What have we become?
My shirt came and it’s the best thing ever
One of the weird things about Marvel Snap is that if you get to Infinite Rank it's easier than every other rank combined. There's no possibility that your opponents got through the slog of ranking up to Infinite playing like they are with the cards they have.
Blasting the Beach Boys, pumping myself up to go get my 78yr old ass knocked out at a Popeye's.
A compromise where Florida can have rainbow crosswalks but you're sent to Alligator Alcatraz if you step on one.
What's Trump going to do? Put on a Sherlock Holmes hat and trenchcoat and go solve the crime with a big magnifying glass? Slide down the Trump pole to the Trumpmobile?
I was looking at videos of the protests in Indonesia, and it made the No Kings Protests look like a bunch of absolute limp dicks. I can't even think of any other time in History when so many people came together and accomplished absolutely nothing. You might as well gone for a soda.
772 Posts. Bluesky: "Oh shit, this is doing numbers!"
I get Taylor Lorenz and Laura Loomer confused.
Staying on after 51 years and at age 80 is insane. You're not getting anything out of it except a new generation of comedians who'll do a Dr. Evil impersonation of you.
Think about it: How did he survive the assassination? How is he always tweeting but he never has a phone in his tiny clanker hands? Why are tech bros so interested in him? The weird slanted way he stands? The lack of empathy?
Trump isn't dead, because he was never alive. That's right: he's a clanker.
Hurricane Katrina was 20 years ago and people are just showing an interest in it now?
*Extremely blurry undated photo.* "He's still alive, folks!"
Trump photos this morning look like UFO photos.
Now they're trying to say he's on his way to play golf, but he hasn't posted in 14 hours.
Fake News!
What happens to Truth Social when he dies?
It's 8 a.m. EST and he hasn't posted.
Then they'll have to reckon with the fact that they've spent the decade obsessing over one guy and now they have nothing. They'll be like retirees or divorcees falling into depression. They'll have moments like when you accidentally put out a place setting for someone who's gone.
The George Takeis will write weepy eulogies about how, "We didn't get along, but..." as if Trump had any fucking idea who they were. They think they're above the base animals that they are and want to project that.
These are the same grifters who wished him well when he had Covid despite writing a million tweets wishing him ill before and after.
Imagine if your entire (extremely-limited) personality is about hating one guy and you can't take any joy in his suffering.
The Liberal Trump-reply guys who talk about him non-stop and act like they're journalists are waking up and ignoring everything going on.
Who do you think Melania will date first and how soon?
It's true.
His last post was a retweet six hours ago.
What if The Rock is the first person to find out like with Osama?
It's sad that the state of the News rn is going to fuck up the announcement.
Trump is seeing Ashli Babbitt.
What will we do if something completely insane isn't happening at every moment?
The Greys got 'im.