BLIMP FORCE

So they are saying that our planes don’t rule the skies now? Fucking morons. This is a Veep episode live.

Good thing you let Elon musk fuck up your air traffic control system. Fucking morons

Make it stop! lol

Take my love, take my land Take me where I cannot stand

man wouldn't it be nice if we were thinking of ways to, I don't know, NOT be in forever wars?

“So we are announcing a new initiative called “SkyNet” “

Are these yahoos just quoting lines form 1950's sci-fi flicks? Let me know if one of them says "MARS NEEDS WOMEN."

By skies, he means couches. The fuckable kind.

what the fuck does that even mean? Is Trump's cognitive decline contagious? Sounds like something off the back of a box of a NES game or something.

Nobody tell him about Icarus.

Or do, just leave out the punch line

Moral? There's not moral to that story. Just soar high, my friend!

It's her time.

Trump can't even control his own bowel movements; maybe they should start there first.

some other asshole: we need to control the sky

That was WWII, actually. Remember, battleships were the BOMB until the aircraft carrier and long-range bombers. If you control the information, you control the population, and that's war in the 21st century. We've already lost the last war. That's why we're here, and why I don't work there anymore.

And I'm not telling YOU to remember, mind you, but the Regime Asshole speaking gibberish.

Real "from the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun" vibes.

“You can’t take the sky from me.”

staffer: ok guys, we all watched the assigned movie, which was Dune, right? the quote is "He who controls the Spice controls the universe" - but just replace "spice" with "skies" and "universe" with "future", got it? coach tubbs: got it boss, we're expounding the future, real sexy like staffer: what

Hmm I’m sensing a theme here

Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Firefly-class SERENITY: "You can't take the sky from me"

They’re all saying the same things. Like almost verbatim.

some other asshole with a toupee: alabama rules, the president is great

have they introduced nick saban as the interim space force director yet

That's not a toupee, that's a life size Lego minifig hair helmet.

When I saw that dude, I thought “oh, they want to make the president look healthier by comparison.” …it kind of worked?

That is a terrible rug.

Trump announces that we just "shot out a drug-carrying boat" coming out of Venezuela and that we'll see the news soon??

Every day he’s talking ! So tired of the endless BS

So what are the odds he made this up?

Just dropped in like nothing

Reporter to trump: how did you find out you were dead?

I didn’t know to I get the reports in 12 seconds.

You knew it would be Doocy to ask.

Stephen Miller standing over him like this

Nepo-baby reporter More importantly, this is a false argument. People were not claiming Trump was dead, but did think that his health was impaired, which is not the same thing.

Idk what website you spent your weekend on, but we were definitely claiming he was dead right here.

Doocey is such a freaking idiot.

Hero

Omfg! I need to see a clip of this.

Peter f'ing Doocy

trump said he was "very active over the weekend" and that he posted some "poignant truths"

Ask him to spell "poignant"

Especially good night lol

"I did skip leg day, though."

Meanwhile he can't remember who he interviewed with or the name of his "nearby" golf course he spent the weekend at.

All of us reading along heard that as "POIGH-naant truths" in a Nomi Malone accent.

How did he even discover that word? That’s not something he says.

Reporter: there's a school shooting problem in america Trump: sure but there are thousands of schools where there are no shootings

This is the most telling part They will literally order people rounded up and thrown into camps but won’t lift a finger to stop school shootings cause they don’t see dead kids as a problem

Bloody idiot.

There are thousands of polling booths that have no voter fraud.

Now he’s talking about arming teachers…

Only the military veteran ones, so like 2 across the country.

Wait. Do you really think veterans aren’t teachers? Why? Of the 40 odd teachers I had in my public school career at least 8 were vets and that was BEFORE the GWOT made so many more of them.

What a fucker.

Well there's hundreds of thousands of douchebags walking aroudn freely in DC, but BigBalls gets rolled and we need to send in the Guard?

Oh, fuck every MAGAt with an oar. The first legislation the fascists passed this year was an anti-immigrant bill named for a woman who had been murdered by an undocumented immigrant. Not once did they mention the LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of people *NOT* killed by immigrants.

Lmao

""Not everything Hitler did was bad""

Everyone should just move their kids to the schools where there won't be shootings and then there'll be no kids in the other schools to get shot. The answer was right there all along, how did we not see it ?

He’s so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, they are in other countries.

What. A. Moron.

I honestly can't tell if you're making this up

🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

I really don't understand why Trump got upset about the assassination attempts. There are so many minutes in the day where people aren't shooting at him!

We can't lock the doors because then cops won't have the key!

You can't support the 2nd Amendment then say guns are a problem Trump and everyone that supports him is insane pardoning people that assaulted police officers

no, this is definitely the real Trump

We know it's him because the American media will totally give him a pass for that comment.

When he was reading the script, I had hopes for a moment that maybe, just maybe it was just an amazing body double/actor, but nope. No actual human would be able to come up with this stuff on the fly.

"Some are saying more than half of schools haven't had a shooting."

*YET*

the glass of tears is half empty!

“20 people in one week killed in Chicago” - and NO OTHER PLACE in the world, including Afghanistan, is worse.

Was trying to look it up. I believe Afghanistan has stricter gun laws. So, even though illegal guns is a problem there, the total gun ownership rate and assault style rate is likely lower.

"Well, sure, but there are a lot of women I *haven't* raped."

WHY AREN'T WE PUTTING THE NATIONAL GUARD OUTSIDE OF EVERY SCHOOL IN AMERICA, TRUMP??!? ALSO - HIGH-CRIME 'RED' CITIES, HELLO??

No schools in foreign countries have shootings.

There are thousands of children who are still alive.

"Yeah. They got over it. They swept away all that residual radiation and rebuilt!" Leon has a wrong answer for everything.

No big deal.

Just so were clear those 2 bombs droped in Japan explosive power were rated in Kilo-Tons (thousands of tons of TNT)- Modern nuclear devices explosive power are rated in the Mega-Tons (millions of tons of TNT) - obviously the radiation yield is going to be much greater also! not scary but terrifying!

Yep. First pic is an estimate of the damage from "Fat Man", 20Kt surface detonation, centered on the Capitol building. Basic settings using "NukeMap" to visualize what the scale of modern nukes are / can be. nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ It's absolutely horrific. Read-up on Air-burst vs Surface burst.

Idiocy.

Moving space command from a state with a k-12 educational ranking of #4, to Alabama with a ranking of #44-45. Oh yeah. That makes total sense.

Wait, this is a real quote?!

Astounding.

He said something similar about covid. When he was told that something like 500,000 people had died he said "yeah, but just think about how many millions would have died if somebody else had been in charge".

Such empathy, what an ass.

...yet

Jfc

Doors. Doors that lock on both sides.

Oh

Yet

Good God.

A shooting for every school!

“Only part of my house is on fire.” - Dementia Don

"Most of my body doesn't have cancer." Walter white.

Ok, so they let him out to blather with his feeble decaying brain, then shoved him back into wherever he’s rotting away.

An insane thing to say. But the USA is an insane country.

Reassuring

Can't argue against amazing logic like that. 🥴

TRUMP: we need to study the idea of letting teachers who are veterans carry weapons in schools

"Teachers who are veterans" and what does the Venn diagram of that look like?

As a teacher I would quit, as a parent I would withdraw my child

Veterans, suffering from PTSD and crumbling VA healthcare, open carry and loud, hormonal, emotional, unmedicated (thanks RFK Jr!) teenagers trapped together for 7 hrs a day, 5 days a week What could go wrong?!?

I didn’t listen to the presser, but it’s important to note that Space Command (moving from CO to AL) is different than the Space Force.

Shooter person was outside the window this time.

Not this shit again.

I wonder how many veterans are now teachers

🤬

This is kinda how we solved our Chris Kyle problem. A veteran with a gun solved RFK Jr’s “my uncle is alive” problem

Try rump is a mother fucking cock sucking liar!

Let them process their ptsd with weaponry, near small children.

Good lord. 🤦‍♀️

F****** insanity

Did he really fucking say this. Jesus

After the last time they settled on that as a solution, a school in Georgia, I think it was, went into lockdown because one of the teachers brought a gun to school, shot out a window, and barricaded himself in his classroom.

When I tried to check if it was really in Georgia, all my search results were about a school shooting there one year ago that killed two students and two teachers, and injured seven other people, and I don't even remember hearing about it at the time.

Here we go again with his unbelievable nonsense. you can tell it's just crap that he hears when people are talking and it walks out of the room with him.

trump is talking about the number of people killed by gun violence in chicago right after saying guns aren't a problem in america.

LOL - I'm surprised he hasn't just written an E.O. stating no more school shootings. I mean, his E.O. are so effective and "lawful" it's truly amazing he hasn't done that so far.

Everyone knows that the blue parts on the map aren’t part of trumps America.

He cannot string together a coherent sentence!

The bullet fires omg

Also mentioning something called the "bullet fires"???

That's because Chicago isn't America, of course.

Trump says if federal government didn't take over Los Angeles then today he'd be announcing the olympics wouldn't be happening there

The numbers he throws around. Nobody fact checks him. Again with the California taps he opened. Will be awaiting Gov Newsom's reply........

"Trump says if federal government didn't take over Los Angeles then today he'd be announcing the sun won't rise and the tides won't come in"

L.A. has the same area as the state of Delaware and probably 5 or 10 times as many people. And somehow he stopped all crime by having a few thousand soldiers roust immigrants? Stupid politics aside, the press doesn't even challenge plain stupidity.

Olympics won’t be happening there if the government keeps making it harder for people from other countries to get in, so…

I'm confident no reporter had the guts to point out that the Olympics likely WON'T be happening in LA, precisely because Trump keeps invading US cities with masked, fascist stormtroopers.

Olympics shouldn’t be happening in the US due to his ICE goons.

They're not gonna happen anyway because of how many countries are gonna be boycotting them!

The Olympics aren't happening in the US.

Virtually no one’s coming to the US for the Olympics, nor for the World Cup. We have become a pariah.

It's true! Who would go there with all the "bullet fires"?

He believes he’s the one who selects host cities for the IOC?

The IOC should pull the Olympics from the USA

This stupid mother fucker still thinks that he turned on a faucet and it put out the fires.

TRUMP: "DC is a safe zone. we have no crime. you can walk down the street. you're not gonna be shot...the restaurants are booming, this took place in 12 days. " he says "we took 1,600 people out" and calls them "hardcore criminals" with zero evidence.

Now he's announcing the things he isn't doing and can't actually do?

*rolls eyes* it's amazing how many lies he can pack into a single statement. they didn't "take over" los angeles, they were in a few places here! and we didn't need them at all! and i don't think the president unilaterally controls where the olympics are!

He's such an idiot, giving the IOC reasons to move the games. And even if you're not an Olympics fans, there are many US athletes who are excited about competing on home soil. It's 3 years out and a million things can happen in the meantime.

Based on what evidence? And they still might not happen there if foreigners don't want to come here.

He scares the hell out of me.

That's not really a threat.

Only Republican cities are America obviously.

Great-grandpa there is up past his naptime

Here comes the water again.

Straight out of his ass

If prayer works to stop gun violence, couldn't we all just send our thoughts and prayers to Chicago and LA and DC? Instead of troops?

Well, we know he’s insane.

obvious point, but Timothy McVeigh was a veteran

But you'd be asking teachers to potentially shoot their own students, so what is he suggesting recruiting only war criminals who didn't have a problem shooting kids in Afghanistan or Iraq?

There were armed guards at Columbine. The NRA claims that their presence saved some lives (this is exactly what I would expect them to say, it might even be true, and I have no idea how they conclude that).

Sure, veterans have never been responsible for mass shootings…

Your grandkids' schools first

Will never get over the lengths of stupidity some Americans will go to just to let them run around with a gun. I mean srsly, they are kinda boring lumps of metal when you get past how easy it is to kill other humans with them, and if you need to defend against the Government, try the ballot box

that's alright then!

Yeah, and just think about the one or two Republican elected officials that aren't corrupt

This is the argument addicts make. He's addicted to guns

Phew!

There are in fact millions of schools where there are no shootings, it's just that those schools aren't in the US.

Release the files

"Parents need to choose the non-lethal schools! Why are they falling down on the job."

He always says the wrong thing

Armed guards at every school?! The fuck?!

This has been their proposed solutions for decades

Umm how old are you? There have been armed police in all but the poshest public schools since the early 90s

😵‍💫

He just blamed schools for school shootings.

Insane

OMG!

Nobody ever talks about the people who don't die from our policies.

I wish so bad I had that Tim Curry monologue from Criminal Minds where he says this exact sentiment - and is one of the *worst* serial killers in the show.

i’m sorry, is that *real*??

well when you're right you're right

What if this whole time JD Vance had also been in the dark about the topic of this afternoon’s presidential announcement and now he’s feeling devastated

Good?

i was so alive, the most alive person

Technically, the body stays active in various ways even after end-of-life. Although, for this dumbass, it's the same amount of gas.

Dyin' Donnie Doesn't Dispel Death Discourse

He at first said he had never heard that. Then said he saw it. You know it drove him crazy.

bsky.app/profile/its-...

The media sucks

Still ducking those Epstein files

If Alabama is so great how come their senator no live there? www.alreporter.com/2025/04/24/t...

What does Alabama “rule” ?

Puke

I cant believe theres someone next to him with as terrible of a hair piece as him

Hey guys you know the sky? We should, like, control it

I mean, yes, but I think the skies are clearer in CO.

Pretty sure space is outside of the Earth’s ‘sky’ but whatever. Or am I the only dork who thinks the ‘skies’ are inside the atmosphere?

The sky has the chance to do something really funny right now

What

Straight from The Right Stuff™️

Party of Shite Line

The claw decides...

fuck the air force in particular