Waiting for the media to pick this up. @nytimes.com @washingtonpost.com @cnn.com

Wait, are they saying MS-13 is a landlord?? I didn't realize they were that evil.

This doesn't surprise me. Many believe MS-13 has completely infiltrated all of Los Angeles

They want to be the black ops types in the movies so bad and they’re just standing there in a children’s park. This is not the Bin Laden raid or Black Hawk Down, you weren’t good enough by like 10 levels which is why you’re just standing in a playground in an oppressively uncomfortable costume

Someone seriously needs to make a Mr Bean type movie about these idiots. Basically Paul Blart Mall Cop but about ICE. That would be both hilarious and I think genuinely effective

Fascist types absolutely hate being laughed at. Deploy the comedy Delta Force, you are trying to fuck with LA and NYC after all

“Son, I was running black ops when you were still in diapers” “Where?” “…The Brooklyn botanical garden”

An update of Team America World Police but for the homefront.

Team America: World Police II: America Police

After 9/11, I was hoping for a satire like "The Producers" about bumbling terrorists trying to blow stuff up with their shoes, etc.

Didn’t need one, we had an actual underwear bomber!

Thinking it'd wind up being like Observe and Report.. funny until the ultraviolence begins.

Have to really make it right and navigate that balance carefully but I think you could make it feel genuinely humiliating and not in a moralistic way but a more casual social way to have those jobs. Like “really, lol, you couldn’t get something real? ok I guess.”

They have chosen to pursue this in an extra dumb way that is ripe for comedy in part because they are so incompetent even though the actual thing is of course not at all funny in a broad way. But I think comedy is a bludgeon you can use here

“Did you guys use Black Hawks or Chinooks?” “No, I bike. One guy takes a horse in”

RAMIREZ!! Have you secured the children’s playplace? We can’t leave lines of sight to our command post by the Carl’s Jr

Maybe do it like muppet christmas carol with one actor playing it like he’s in Fallujah, surrounded by muppets

In a hopefully uncomfortable oppressive role

The lies these mfers tell…

#AltTextHelp

My God, they were brave

Put up a plaque for the battle of MacArthur Park.

Put up a plaque for the battle of MacArthur Park.

can someone who was/is involved in mil supply mgmt estimate the cost of all those people/ horses/ vehicles, kit, etc.?

My dearest Martha, Today I got to ride a horse through an empty soccer field. It was a noble steed by the name of Mittens. Those Yankee MS-13 soldiers fled before the battle commenced and I found myself alone on the plains of the MacArthur. Myself and Mittens. Achingly yours, Jethroe

"Oh horse feathers, Wilbur. Why do all the other horses get to wear tactical gear and prance through the park, and I'm stuck in this barn?"

“Maintains access”. Uh, I guess I, too, maintain access to apartment buildings because usually you can just walk in.

If they’ve identified actual criminals in an apartment, they should arrest them. Not seize a soccer field.

“They have been known to stage incursions to the pool when the weather gets quote hotter than the direct opposite of a witch’s tit unquote.”

What the fuck?

youtu.be/40zdlqvo2LA?...

i hear they have access to an entire network of gang terror tunnels under manhattan too

OMG don't even joke about that shit, they're going to send the fucking tunnel rats in to clear out the C train.

Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute What were the “resistance” and “lethality” levels? Is that why they had the rooftop sniper?

Realistically, they almost always position a rooftop sniper and there needs to be drone identification and harassment of these assets.

I’m not sure what’s worse: those dipshits cynically using this language to legitimize rolling an APC into a park to terrorize the populace or those dipshits actually believing that MS-13 has a hardened base of operations there.

The M in MS-13 stands for MacArthur.

You have to understand. Just after the Iraq and Afghanistan surges, when a bunch of young infantrymen suddenly found the reenlistment bonuses were dried up, BORTAC and ICE started hitting Transition Assistance Program sessions hard. I was there, but they left mine when it was all submarine officers

They aggressively recruited a bunch of kids whose only life experience was running COIN in the sandbox. And when the only tool you have is a broken hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. You’re seeing civil law enforcement through the lens of Ranger School.

This shit has got me partially agreeing w Sec Def Pete (hic) Hegseth. The US military SHOULD focus on war fighting.

My favorite antiques shop is right there. Was I the target audience?

Joke country, with horrificly corrupt policing Nightmare place, with a population that cheers it on

Our intel shows M13 is ironically terrified of floors in the teens. They’re wise to that “floor 13 is listed as 14” ruse and WILL NOT engage!

"Iraq Cosplay Enjoyers"-ass agency

I always wondered where this guy ended up.

Medevac, medevac, we need a medevac, Davis tripped over his shoelaces, man down man down

“Sir, sir, we need emergency exfiltrate. Randy lost his bandana and may have been recognized.”

Classic Randy

To My Very Dear Wife: Indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps to-morrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write a few lines, that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more. Today we battled at a Wendys. Two soda fountains were out

And the soft ice cream? TELL ME THERE WAS SOFT ICE CREAM.

well god damn

Alexa play Ashokan Farewell [kazoo cover]

Dearest Clementine, Another harrowing journey into the heart of darkness has left me with a terrible sunburn on the top half of my face. We lost another man today. He was struck with a Nerf sword by a toddler on a slide. I dream of you and our children, Brad, Bradley, and Kyle. Give them my best.

For anyone needing a soundtrack…

my dearest Martha, I fear we may starve, the in’n’out has run out of ketchup and you know I cannot partake of freedom fries without it

My sweet Frieda, MacArthur Park is melting in the dark. I don't think that I can take it because it took so long to bake it and I'll never have that recipe again. Yours, Fritz

the sort of bro who played call of duty and thought the "defend burger town" level was aspirational rather than satire have grown up and now have badges & guns

My dearingest darlingest Sophia, Today rations were lower than normal. We can hear the enemy playing football nearby. We ordered pizza on uber-eats but nobody would deliver it. Helicopters buzz overhead all the time. We do not know if they are ours, or belong to the nearby taco stands. Pray for me

Luckily, the best deli in the world is across the street. www.langersdeli.com/tag/19/

My dearest son, If I fail to return from my stroll past the summer camp children playing in the park, melt down the loose metal in the house for musket balls and look after your mother…she is, alas, still waiting for shredded cheese for her fajita

Overheard

Beloved Victoria, I named you for the hopeful victory that would protect your way of life for eternity. The juggalos are upon us, please know if you see images of me drinking Faygo that I was forced.

My Beloved Sweetheart, This may be the last words from me. There are people on the balconies, we can not see if they are armed. Our Commander tragically passed away after too many milk shakes at McDonald's. If I return in a body bag, I tried my best to fight MS13 and I love you.

My dearest Bayleigh, I am jotting down these lines as we prepare to meet the enemy. I can hear their vile taunts as they draw ever closer, casting aspersions upon the size of our generative organs. Should I perish at their hands, know that we, to a man, surpass the national average in this regard.

I cackled. 😂🤣😂🤣😂

pan across a paused TikTok video as a dubstep remix of "Ashokan Farewell" plays.

Everyone in the park is dancing to Niamos

My dearest Clarene, We have taken the Taco Bell but not without loss. Half of our squad was lost to a Baja Blast.

BONG

Dear Mother, After hours of struggle, we finally took the play-ground from the children. Much glory to my brave comrades. We lost many men to the swing-set and upon that accursed merry-go-round.

I sprained my wrist trying to dig the M-60 pit to cover MSR Wilshire. The range card is gonna be a nightmare

encountering multiple IEDs* *(irritable enteritis dieticians)

better watch out fellas www.isishairsalon.com

Shades of the way they talked about “Antifa Caravans” in 2020

Please god, give us an amphibious/air assault on Santa Monica Pier next.

What a fucking joke, unserious ass loser larp nonsense. Embarrassing for everyone involved

No serious intel, just vibes

I.. aww... nuts. Anybody got a bet on how soon before DHS and ICE get those grenade-throwing drones the Army's been playing with?

beside the point but typos in orders, embarrassing

I was gonna say… Grammarly could have fixed that. It would have suggested the ICE go the fuck away.

this is what happens when half the nation truly believes cities are deathtraps

177 years of comparing California to Hell probably didn't help either.

Oh nah. new York, LA, St Louis, Kansas City, seattle..name a city the locals here are convinced it is a deathtrap full of gangs and burned out buildings

When I went to college my mom and stepdad lived in rural Ohio; the number of dire warnings I got about Columbus (of all places!) was insane. I'm originally from NE Los Angeles, Avenues territory; the fact I didn't laugh in anybody's face is attributable mainly to me being way too nice.

My favorite part is that you almost never hear about Detroit because the Feds and the hicks are terrified of Detroit. They came in and tried that shit once, and came out with 500 casualties and four dead.

PORTLAND!

I haven’t been around MacArthur park in a long time but last I recall it was uhhh not the safest place to go for a stroll.

It’s probably the most dangerous spot in Los Angeles proper but no part of LA is a war zone. You can go walk around there, visit the street vendors, go to Langers, etc during daylight hours. That all shuts down at dark though.

Right like it certainly did not stop me from going to Langer’s right next to it. Oh your post mentioned that. Yeah

Langer’s has a deservedly excellent reputation but also don’t eat there if you need to be awake in the afternoon

I see this article from a year ago and I can tell things must have improved there a lot because witnesses are talking to cops

It’s literally fine. Small-minded idiots might be uncomfortable there, but it’s always safe to walk around there. Have done it for years and years and never had a problem. Embarrassing that people think it’s scary.

The ms-13 stuff sounds made up though.

It’s probably narrowly true, in that MS-13 the actual street gang is in Westlake and MacArthur Park and probably has some spots in buildings off the park. But the right wing has built up a mythical version of MS-13 so much that this reads like more of that.

As a European its always quite hard to logically untangle the way that its the US right who has historically insisted upon a legal reality where gangs of any shape or size can easily be armed with assault rilfes and other military-type kit.

its all true ms-13 has been building high density housing in the area

When was the last time you strolled around MacArthur Park?

not sure, whenever I last ate at langer's though. at least five years ago, pre-covid

MS-13 used 10-13 story apartment buildings to give me Havana Syndrome.

can't go near the buildings they are covered in cop killing fentanyl

Pew! Pew! I’m a soldier man!

Skeet to be read in Ralph Wiggum’s voice.

*cue Ashokan Farewell* My dearest Maudie I will be tested today and my only hope is that I make it through to see you again. The field of battle is prepared and the enemy maintains access to alleys and an 8–10 story apartment building. My brothers are ready. And I hope that I will make you proud.

Have they rousted residents of "The Dakota" yet, now that they know about the Parkside real estate MO? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dak...

Jfc. I lived there for a year. There’s so little gang activity of any kind it’s laughable.

@alt-text.bsky.social

Alt text retrieved

where did you find this? where where did this clip come from?

The organizational equivalent of a cop going into a seizure over "fentanyl exposure"

The LASD still takes this with hysterical sensitivity—I’ve seen deputies who scorn masks and Covid vaccines as Rothschild-invented perfidy recoil from unconscious addicts and call for backup as though a xenomorph might burst forth at any moment

Fentanyl doesn't absorb significantly through skin unless formulated to do so in a transdermal patch. It's something I find hilarious even though I shouldn't but it's psychogenic syncope.

yes, in this analogy it is as real as MS-13 manning sniper nests in downtown LA

Yeah I honed in on the medical thing. It's habitual.

Psychosomatic syncope still needs to be dealt with like an emergency. It was the proof that psychosomatic symptoms were dangerous! Your brain can just up and try to kill you. No sympathy to the cops having it, aside from that we should treat panic attacks seriously, though.

Oh wait, this is real?!

I assume it came from this @kenklippenstein.bsky.social post, yeah The dumbest fascist regime

I thought that it was the soccer goals where they played in their free time.

would be more believable if they said the apartment buildings were held by a coven of witches or a guild of evil magicians fuckin LARPing with real weapons

CBP wants to be badass operators

They are schizoposting on main

Modern Warfare 2 Burger Town-ass cosplay rn

MS-13 is the primary cause of housing cost inflation??????

YIMBY (gang)

MS-13 always complaining at city council meetings about zoning.

YIMBY [Fallout post-apocalyptic militia]

so we're lucky they didn't just blow up a bunch of apartment buildings as a preventive measure, right?

Wait til they get that budget upgrade!

I'll admit to wondering how long before they get access to armed drones.

Cover fire

You just reminded me of that time the LAPD found a huge stash of illegal fireworks, and put them all in a big steel tank for safety. Unfortunately the amount they put in was more than the tank was rated to contain so they'd made a giant frag grenade, and it wrecked the neighborhood...

"hey r u guys here for the cosplay masquerade? Cool, but I'm pretty sure there = a 5 person minimum on group entries. The lady over there in the blue suit at the microphone is in charge. I would ask her to be sure. What r u anyway? I get a steam punk Nazi vibe-maybe one of those zombie mangas?"

This is insane and cooked and racist. But I would play this level in CALL OF DUTY.

Just rehashing Ghost Recon plots from almost 20 years ago. It's a miracle they haven't given some rando a cool sounding mastermind name, like "El Lobo."

Fucking dying over here😹😹😹 Take the ten thousand dollar cash prize and my own, personal cat!!!

grozny!

Yes we lost the first battle sir, but we will come back and we will destroy them and we will destroy this fucking town.

every single one of these guys is that Metal Gear Solid PMC goober who shits his pants uncontrollably

actually wait maybe that’s kinda unfair to Johnny Sasaki. guy has a bit of a redemption arc in MGS4.

Don't tell them about the rat in the dumpster. That dude's probably selling pizza slices to the bad guys.

"There's an RPG easement in my lease."

The water balloon potential here is EXTREMELY high.

We’ll be hearing about fentanyl laced water balloons

Losing my security deposit due to the backblast...

"It says right here "No holes in the plaster -- use only Command strips or double-sided adhesive squares." That's a pretty common inclusion in ROE for urban warfare.

These idiots are actually acting like MS-13 is an occupying army? Massive failure to understand so many things here.

Basically it is unclear if they are deluded or if they think this is a framing that will convince subordinates that this is a life or death mission that may require an exchange of fire, but whatever it is doesn't look great.

...ok, third option is intentional leak in the hopes the media treats it as legitimate intelligence in which case LOL, LMAO.

Or intentional leak by CANG because they're tired of getting dragged around by DHS schizos

Oh, Occam's Razor is this is someone critical of this plan looping in Klippenstein because of how tacticool this mess is. But there is a non-zero chance that SOMEONE thinks this wags the dog to convince the public a war footing against zip code 90057 is necessary.

Honestly the whole thing just looks incredibly stupid, it's humiliating.

I hope all those people in the video are feeling very, very stupid.

Defend the Burger Town!

If they keep kidnapping day laborers, dishwashers and ice cream cart guys they’ll eventually trip over one of these MS13 gang members that we’re all oh so scared of, right? Like, one of them must have a side-gig selling Dippin’ Dots.

Mother, Today is the day. We've received orders to clear the park. After all our training, we are going into action. The boys are excited and wearing their tacticooool gear. Please tell Dad I'm going into a tion. Maybe he will understand and stop calling me a pathetic loser. /S/ Ice Ice Baby

These guys were laughing when they put this together. I refuse to believe it was serious

thank you for your attention to this muster.

And yet they did a raid.

Will participants receive ribbons for this? The campaign for DTLA.

This definitely merits a combat patch.

hmmm

Thereby cutting the Consulate General off from Doña Bibi's. Brilliant!

They really think LA is Megacity 1, huh?

It does look like Los Santos, I can see how they got confused

Ditto 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Okay. This cracks me up.

Perhaps they were finally sweeping the park to find the cake that someone left out in the rain?

our whole country has lost its mind.

Looking for the guy that put the cake out in the rain.

Trump is gonna sign an executive order making it mandatory for all ICE agents to get their free Golden Corral on Veterans Day

🫡🫡🫡

That’s a good one, DL. 🔥

No one leaves the cake out in the rain on my watch.

Need this with a group of women shouting "SORRY ABOUT YOUR PENIS!" at the LARPer

I need this!

Just wish the bubble said, are you ok, can I call someone for you?

Oh my god

What is this from?

Sounds like they're using their ID F training

Tell me about the crew in them towers.

I also have access to: apartment

In this market? Dayumn...

great. ms13 will bs by to blood you in right away

Literal "we have al-Qaeda at home" energy

Stephen Miller over on his cuck chair, staring a billion billion miles into the back of his head, has to have his hobbies

I'm not right about a lot in this life, but I guarantee Miller's got a Pulp Fiction basement where he takes in the ICE live feeds.