Making friends in a new town in a new country in your 40s is tough! (No I do not need advice thank you, just commenting)
Replies
Word
jul 27, 2025, 3:05 pm • 1 0 • view
I feel this in my bones, moved to a town right outside Bordeaux last year.
jul 27, 2025, 3:14 pm • 2 0 • view
feeling this, after 5 years back in Lincs and still entirely reliant on VTT for social life!
jul 27, 2025, 3:00 pm • 3 0 • view
I need to get to grips with TTS. I've got it, never used it though.
jul 27, 2025, 3:01 pm • 2 0 • view
virtual gaming's been a genuine lifesaver, couldn't do without it now
jul 27, 2025, 3:04 pm • 3 0 • view
I did a lot of RPG zooms over lockdown, should try to resurrect it. Time zones are gonna cause an issue though.
jul 27, 2025, 3:07 pm • 3 0 • view
Yeah, definitely. There's a few of our crowd who play at like 4am their time from Australia or parts of the States, but that takes commitment, energy, planning *and* understanding partners where appropriate!
jul 27, 2025, 3:09 pm • 2 0 • view
Where do you live now, Jamie?
jul 27, 2025, 3:04 pm • 0 0 • view
Ontario!
jul 27, 2025, 3:07 pm • 2 0 • view
This has been my whole past year! I moved from Boston to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia last summer…I think it’s kinda getting easier, or at least it’s not nearly as daunting as it was the first few months. I am waaaay more introverted than I was in my 20s/30s.
jul 27, 2025, 3:03 pm • 2 0 • view
Ah we're in the same country now! Albeit 18 hours' drive apart.
jul 27, 2025, 3:04 pm • 2 0 • view
If you ever want to come visit, you’re welcome anytime! (It’s a haul, but I like to think it’s worth it.) And yay same country! And time zone!
jul 27, 2025, 3:08 pm • 0 0 • view
Omg NOT the same time zone *smacks forehead* it’s been a year and Atlantic Time is still getting me haha
jul 27, 2025, 5:06 pm • 1 0 • view
We very much want to head to your part of the country! Will keep you informed.
jul 27, 2025, 3:11 pm • 1 0 • view
If you have any questions, let me know! (like "When are the bugs the worst?" haha) We’re a half hour from the national park, so I’m getting to know all the hikes and swim spots!
jul 27, 2025, 3:18 pm • 1 0 • view
I'm on city #11 and I feel your pain. This last move, I almost felt like skipping it all and staying home.
jul 27, 2025, 10:07 pm • 1 0 • view
I haven’t experienced the new country bit, but the new town part- woof, yeah, it is extremely difficult. I’ve been in Brighton over a decade now and I still feel like I’m working on this
jul 27, 2025, 3:18 pm • 2 0 • view
I've been in Coventry since 1999. I only feel like I've made a couple of actual friends here in that time. I've made more new friends online and at cons than I have in real life.
jul 27, 2025, 4:04 pm • 2 0 • view
Other than in London I've always had more friends through work than locally.
jul 27, 2025, 4:06 pm • 0 0 • view
One of Bowie's lesser known works
jul 27, 2025, 3:25 pm • 1 0 • view
Ooof I get you so well. Almost 10 years later and it's still hard. I hope that you find your people soon!
jul 27, 2025, 3:07 pm • 1 0 • view
Absolutely, I'm not in a new town or new country, and a big town (Toronto), but still finding the new friends in your 40s thing tough!
jul 27, 2025, 3:12 pm • 1 0 • view
Probably a big part of what anchors people as they get older!
jul 27, 2025, 2:57 pm • 2 0 • view
I'd be your friend but I think you're on the wrong side of Toronto. And also about half of me being your friend would just be me wanting to pet your cats.
jul 27, 2025, 3:50 pm • 1 0 • view
You are brave!
jul 27, 2025, 3:45 pm • 2 0 • view
Not as brave as the cats were!
jul 27, 2025, 3:48 pm • 3 0 • view
sucks buddy, sorry
jul 27, 2025, 2:52 pm • 3 0 • view
wait where are you
jul 27, 2025, 2:52 pm • 2 0 • view
Ontario, about an hour out of Toronto.
jul 27, 2025, 2:54 pm • 5 0 • view
Hey, do you have a vehicle or some easy enough access to downtown TO?
jul 27, 2025, 3:07 pm • 1 0 • view
Nah that's part of the problem. We'll have a car soon but I still need to learn to drive (never needed to in the UK). When I do that'll make it a lot easier, though I think you can't drive solo for a while after you pass your test here?
jul 27, 2025, 3:09 pm • 1 0 • view
It's a two stage test - pass the first stage, you can drive solo, just not on highways. Which is still a problem for commuting. No GO access, huh?
jul 27, 2025, 3:11 pm • 3 0 • view
Nah. 3+ hours by public transport vs 90 minutes drive.
jul 27, 2025, 3:20 pm • 2 0 • view
Uuggggh
jul 27, 2025, 3:23 pm • 3 0 • view
too far to be a socialization cornerstone imo
jul 27, 2025, 3:22 pm • 1 0 • view
Yeah. Once I'm driving it'll be alright for weekend trips etc.
jul 27, 2025, 3:23 pm • 2 0 • view
big town/small town?
jul 27, 2025, 2:57 pm • 0 0 • view
Not tiny, but small. It's nice enough though.
jul 27, 2025, 3:00 pm • 2 0 • view
good luck with the befriending!
jul 27, 2025, 3:00 pm • 2 0 • view
Making friends is hard.... period. 50's...lived same place for 25 years. Might even be harder given how hard it is to break patterns, or reinvent yourself.
jul 27, 2025, 3:28 pm • 1 0 • view
I know you don't want advice but have you tried just being cool as fuck? Like Fonzi hitting a juke box cool?
jul 27, 2025, 2:54 pm • 6 0 • view
Ollie I am already cooler than the Fonz
jul 27, 2025, 2:56 pm • 5 0 • view
Fonz is instantly disqualifying though because he's very clearly a twenty year old and not 40+
jul 27, 2025, 3:01 pm • 1 0 • view
I have literally never seen you start a song by hitting a jukebox. How do you explain that?
jul 27, 2025, 3:01 pm • 4 0 • view
That's because I go to different/cooler diners than you.
jul 27, 2025, 3:02 pm • 5 0 • view
Jamie I’m not being funny but you’ve overreached here. Nobody goes to cooler diners than Ollie.
jul 27, 2025, 3:05 pm • 1 0 • view
He's right, it's kind of my thing. I've been told I'm the Guy Fieri of the South/South East of England
jul 27, 2025, 3:06 pm • 1 0 • view
I can't believe how hard you've fucked this up.
jul 27, 2025, 3:06 pm • 0 0 • view
All I have to do in these situations is let Ollie keep talking.
jul 27, 2025, 3:10 pm • 2 0 • view
Remarkably efficient. I’m team Jamie now.
jul 27, 2025, 3:12 pm • 1 0 • view
And this is how you make friends Jamie, just hang out with me and everyone will be your friend purely through opposition to me
jul 27, 2025, 3:14 pm • 2 0 • view
Your problems is that you've never taken a ride to flavourtown
jul 27, 2025, 3:08 pm • 1 0 • view
I will have you know that I placed fourth in the Republican primary for mayor of flavourtown on no less than three occasions. Even beat out disgraced former Mayor McCheese once.
jul 27, 2025, 3:14 pm • 1 0 • view
Oh god. I hoped we’d never have to tell you this… Ollie, I’m sorry but you’re blind.
jul 27, 2025, 3:05 pm • 1 0 • view
Yes! Without music, I’d have been screwed I think.
jul 27, 2025, 2:53 pm • 3 0 • view
Interests help! Especially a naturally social one like music.
jul 27, 2025, 2:54 pm • 5 0 • view
Yes, especially when you’re a practitioner and NEED people. I think mostly people find their guys in the end though, and especially someone like you who has hobbies that are very worldwide, if sometimes a little niche.
jul 27, 2025, 2:55 pm • 3 0 • view
In my experience if you ever feel alone, start drawing on your sketchbook in a public place and see people flock to you with questions "what are you doing?" "But it's you that is doing this, really?" "Who is this that you are drawing?" "I have a nephew that likes to draw too" "Can you draw Sonic?"
jul 27, 2025, 3:17 pm • 2 0 • view