Hi. Do you have suggestions for how I can dress for 115F degree weather? Also has to make me feel like it's 65F, takes no effort to put together, doesn't make me stand out, but also makes me look stylish, works for weddings and pool parties, is ethically produced, and doesn't cost more than $3? Thx.
Tube sock, rubber band, and a thrift store safari hat. YMMV.
Omg 😂😂😂
Hemp!!
Nudity is a freedom of expression
Sounds like my problem while touring.
Loincloth?
Linen loincloth, but that may push you over the $3 limit. But, hey- you’re worth it.
I knew I was right to buy a chiffonier for my luxury sewing scraps! Now, to address my collar-gap tan…
Just check the loincloth bin at the thrift store
mmm, pre-worn loinclothes, yes please
👃 Sniiiiifffffff... 👃
When you add the tariffs it will be $300. Just cut a head hole out of a sheet and Greek it.
And it will arrive in approximately 3 years
All I can suggest is to put cold packs in your armpits and that will definitely help to keep you cool.
Linen loin cloth
Naked with a stolen police service weapon
Toga
TOGA TOGA TOGA!
Is this a cultural reference?
youtu.be/Fpr-IK92Hcs from Animal House en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_...
Probably just a smear of SPF50, and carry a water sprayer …also just stupid sarcasm…
Plastic bags filled with ice.
Tule... Although you may stand out.
I suggest a nude beach lol.
Think that limits you to a bamboo shower curtain w/ your choice of floral or fishes. Do you know how to wrap like a Toga?
Sombrero and speedos. And lots of margeritas
spray paint
Borrow something from a friend.
📌
Cheap sunscreen 🤷♀️
And allows me to layer.
The birthday suit. Always perfectly tailored and made for oppressive heat.
use an umbrella you already own to keep the sun off
Well, if you leave off weddings, cargo shorts and a polo shirt work fine.... And depending on who's getting married....
Buy an inability to accept card and send it off to the person holding the function....... maybe $3-
A parchment paper slip?
If you find the answer to this let me know ASAP...
Get a long sleeve cooling shirt (they’re great!) a thin , loose tank underneath , baggy shorts and a sun hat with a sensible sandal You’ll be happy you did
Vintage cotton thrifted kaftan. Embrace the way of the kaftan, darling.
Swimming trunks, a wide brimmed hat and (ideally) a nice swimming pool.
You have to so some taping, but make clothes out of paper towels.
At a pond skimming contest at Squaw Valley we saw a guy in one of these fly down the hill of salted & refrozen corn snow. Before he got to the pond he lost balance and slid on his ass. He got up & hobbled over to his friends & in a few minutes his tush went from pale white to bright red road rash.
That dude is fearless.
I mean, you did post their divorce announcement though, lol.
Any amt of time with her was a solid win.
I'm confused as to why you would use an image advertising his divorce...
Think Mel Brooks and Ann Bancroft. Women like men who make them laugh.
Looks fade, but humor and sarcasm are forever.
Thank god for that.
Damn that's what I was just going to ask you, crazy
Tin foil 🙌
Yes, don't go.
Thrift store Speedo
45 years ago my friends and I searched endlessly for a name for our punk rock band and "Thrift Store Speedo" was right there.
surprised no one’s mentioned the actual correct answer to this question: a south indian veshti en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veshti might cost a bit more than $3 but checks everything else…
I like churidar better (see my post) 🙃
cafta.... $3!!!!! oh god. hang on, i thought you didn't take womenswear questions? *wanders off muttering fabric warehouse bolt end sale? embroidery silks? thrifted art nouveau pin?*
😂😂
Damn, must be magic.
Wasn’t there a video where you could put a small device in your clothes—like an AC or fan? Like this www.nippon.com/en/japan-top...
Subscribed
Grape leaf
Soylent green, after all, could be part of the solution to the housing crisis.
An umbrella
Dawg what platform am I supposed to follow you on. Threads? Twitter? Here? All? You’re everywhere
I still regret not buying that $80 linen suit in Buenos Aires 25 years ago.
Okay hear me out
My apologies that very few of your replies seem to get that this is just you posing the same sort of questions you get.
I don’t see that. People recognize that it’s ludicrous but why should that stop them from answering?
But you have to be existentially sexy to carry it off.
A smile ☺
Grass skirt, coconut bra, birks
Loincloth and flip flops
Soak a baseball cap in water and freeze it overnight. It'll give you a few minutes of relief.
A few drops of Chanel No. 5
Gauze.
Aren't those ICE guys wearing A/C units on their chests? Try the army surplus. But get it in white, maybe.
that was some weird shit.
This is going to get hot and sticky so fast.
Well, do you? I could use this please cmon derek
Origami toga.
$3 worth of LSD should do it.
We’re waiting
I would say it has to be a micro fiber, cotton is more comfortable but you can’t hide the perspiration. Now at a $3 spend for the whole outfit it would have to be a Goodwill/Arc ‘find of the century’. Whoa. I don’t miss polyester from the 1970s do you? Love your posts Derek. You’re killing me!
T-Rex costume has a fan going all the time to inflate it. Hook it up to a styrofoam cooler with ice in it and put the cooler on a dolly to cart around with you. Coolest T-Rex in the world!
There's a bride and groom somewhere who are going to have some interesting wedding photos to explain in the future. "And the T-Rex? Yeah, that's your uncle Derek."
well, you are the menswear guy…
How about $250, but you have to carry a mysterious briefcase, which will give you allure. That's gotta be worth $247.
Also i need it in nonstandard size pls
Like they dress in the Philippines or Indonesia
Seersucker.
fig leaf and double-sided tape
Seersucker at Goodwill?
Thong and lots of SPF50
*spf 85
Homemade makeup
time for the Bedouin type drip
I would wear whatever you usually wear when travelling. and catch the next flight out. 😆
Step into a nice walk-in refrigerator
Naked, with a nice fedora to protect you from the sun
Thong
Yes. Vinyl cargo pants (and shirt presumably depending on gender)
Sarong. It’s so right
Kurta and churidar. Works for millions of people in South Asia. Purchase price - around $3, particularly if used. Ticket to Delhi $$$$ 🙃
I dont know about 3.00..but loose linen shirts,basic linen black or tan slacks...to dress up or down...
Something that matches the emperor’s new clothes?
saving this for future reference
Just tell me how to dress for menopause... I'll pay any price to be cool in every way possible
Have you tried nudity?
A white waffle weave bathrobe.
Naked with (strategically placed) ice cubes and camo paint? Granted it will last you a solid 5 minutes
We gotta normalize sarongs as male formal wear in the west
Snap
No…please. 🙈
For curiosity sake how much does it cost to dress well in high humidity hot summers (Virginia) and it feels like it's nice and cool.
Gonna have to get back to you on this one.
wet Tee and stand in the shade with a fan.
obviously a dishdash is your best bet for that heat, but it'll probably set you back more than $3
Might make you stand out too much, but these are quite popular among people in Japan who have to work in 90*+ weather.
This exists?!?!?
Totally - police, construction workers, etc wear them all over Japan.
Might not work in 115 degrees. Here in Phoenix using a fan alone becomes kind of pointless once it gets above 100. You start pushing hot air and just makes it more miserable.
Japan is more like east coast, DC area - hot and insanely humid. Saw people working in these where the “feels like” temp was over 100. But not 115, and not your dry heat.
Two recycled trash bag & hemp string belt, with lots of vent slits and a posy of the nearest wildflowers Send photos.
What about menswear fashion from ancient Rome? Although I don't know how much ethically produced fabric you can buy for $3.
Loincloth.
You've got a sheet on your bed, right? Essentially free.
You're right, why didn't I think about that! Looks like we solved Derek's problem 😌
Esp if the bottom sheet pilled and now you have a lonely top sheet.
A toga made from a scrap length of breathable synthetic. Also steal a hat.
Birthday suit? It hits most of your wishlist. Dress up or down with accessories.
You are definitely on your own
My husband doesn't quite get why I have so many clothes, but when part of the year is this hot, and part of the year is biting cold, you need quite a few pieces...
Speedo from Goodwill?
😂 flour looks better in a sack than her.
😂
She's the governor of Arkansas in that photo.
HA!!!!
What the absolute F!
The photo is a bit out of focus. Please tell me that it's from her high school speech & debate class. Because if it's from her time in the White House or the governor's office... 😬
😆
I love the Monkees ♡
Stillsuit
😆😆😆
What did they say/sing about mad dogs and Englishmen?
The emperor‘s new clothes are as good and cheap as it gets. Highly recommended, perhaps not for children‘s parties
Linen sack?
Comfort was not a requirement ✅
This made me giggle.
Coordinating linen garments from a thrift store. My sheep mgt prof swore wool, if processed correctly, could be cool in summer, but I've yet to find that process or wool fabric.
Dress like you’re in Bali. White linen tops and slacks/bottoms, comfy sandals, and a hat. ☮️😘
This, but better shop garage sale thrift store if you only plan to spend $3
Shop there first, no matter what! That’s a great idea!
You can’t wear white to a wedding unless youre the bride 🙄
I didn’t know he’s going to a wedding! 🤡
😂😂😂
You’re welcome!
Photoshop?
A linen caftan.
How about a navy blue kaftan?
Just stay home bro it ain't worth it
About damn time loincloths made a comeback
Getting your friend to distract assets protection is part of the solution
Coppertone. But you'll want to talk to the couple getting married to make sure it matches their color-pattern. Also, I don't know if anabolic steroids would be part of your clothing budget, but they would help you pull off the outfit.
Nor Black Nor White can do all of that except for the $3 part.
Caftan with a built in battery operated fan
So.... no?
Tunics and sandals?
Well?
Something linen from Goodwill?
Hold wedding at nude beach
Perfect summation.
Duct tape tuck
Thong boy summer
... Yes. Yes I can. Go look in your mad great-great uncle's trunks in the attic. He wore it in 115 degrees, you can too.
Why not go for some Middle Eastern looks?
As a heat transfer engineer who grew up in south Texas, yeah, you're fuhgged.
Nudity?
🎯🎯🎯 Wake up people. Testing testing 1,2,3
Just go nakey!
Hot weather? Check Makes you feel like it is colder? Check Takes no effort to put together? Check Doesn’t make you stand out? People will avoid looking at you. Check Stylish? Baby this is a *classic*. Check Ethically produced? Check Pool-ready? Check Less than $3? Check Weddings? Maybe.
…if the wedding is a bacchanal
Ah, the life of the subject matter expert.
Sarong!
Wear a used sheet, after cutting a hole in it for your head
8 yards of linen
= 4/10 of 1 coat
Woad? Good enough for Ancient Britons.
Welcome to nudity. It’s natural.
What's that sayin about fast, good or cheap?
Related: when can we just drop the European roots for our clothing and adopt something that actually works for our climate?
Be the change you want to see in the Men’s Department.
But I need everyone else to adopt it otherwise I’ll just get weird looks in the office and maybe a polite check in from HR
😂 115°F and you want it to feel like 65°F? Sounds like you need some summer magic 🧊☀️. My tip: keep layers minimal, stick to light colors, throw on a wide-brim hat and sunglasses, and be ready for any pool party or wedding without melting! 😎💦
Short answer? No. Sorry.
easy. a keffiyeh
Toga, but seersucker
😂
Two words.... Loin cloth
Naked. The answer is "go naked."
sunscreen
„The Pigs‘ Wedding“ by Helme Heine shows your Solution: Watercolors. (Actually, I‘d love to hear your comments on the depicted styles worn during that wedding reception 🙂.)
As was suggested to me yesterday, pearls darling.
For $3? In this economy?
Not even a second hand store has prices that low.
I'm a thrift shop princess and I've managed some plastic ones for that price. 😆
Oh sure. I’ve got handfuls of those. In a rainbow of colors. 🤪
I see you got my email
stay inside your air conditioned apartment with the curtains closed since i dont think anyone is really inviting people asking a question like that to any parties. or they shouldn't be
Bok.
A book and a thobe.
Bok.
Assuming this request is for Phoenix, AZ, the traditional garb is a pair of tighty whiteys and some meth.
Also keeps you out of jail
Ice packs in ZIP Lock baggies, strategically placed so as not to disrupt the drape of you linen trousers and beautifully tailored shirt?
.
Cotton and loose fitting.
Definitely a kaftan. But, like, a muted kaftan.
Men’s stability pouch?
probably more than $3 unless you already have a formal/swimwear one
Orenz!
So, do you have a link or not?
You’ll need a stapler, a jacket you don’t care about, and the insides of a recycle bin. www.pinterest.com/pin/37893575...
The kilt
Ooo, following for answers.
I could go higher if it helps.
Loin cloth
Just scroll your Instagram feed for a little bit. Probably find some brogue sneakers to go with the new fit, too.
Hahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The burning question(s) of our times
