Okay, for those who asked, here's the simple version: * 1 can Cento tuna (in olive oil) * 1 stalk celery, finely chopped * a big glob of Duke's mayo * about 1.5 tbsp of pickled red onions, finely chopped (like so: www.anildash.com/2022/11/15/c... ) * paprika, salt, pepper, and parsley to taste