12 years earlier.

👏 (I think).

Shit. I remember this one vividly.

😹

I can't believe this article is old enough to die in a Junior High/Middle School mass shooting. They grow up so fast (except when, you know).

yeah, that case in particular was absolutely preventable since they had the kid in custody before it happened and yet let him go. didn't think he was a danger. police thought they could play psychologist. but this wasn't primarily gun violence. the family begged the police for help to prevent it.

The great/tragic part of this Onion bit is they (at least used to) repost the same article, with a different pic, after every mass shooting incident. Just a google search brought up a version from Uvalde shooting incident May 2022

Agreed, would be very funny if it weren't so bad😔

They do do that duckduckgo.com?t=ffab&q=sit...

My alma mater. Never went to Borderline but I live 15 minutes away.

hate to be the one to break it to you, Mr Onion, but NYT just put you out of business.

From the NYT eight years ago:

👀 this record is scratched & keeps playing one shitty 💩 tragic cruel loop. ➰ ⚖️❤️‍🔥🗽

Violent Horror culture of stuck on stupid is funny

Who wore it best? 🥹

Dear god, I've been sharing this every shooting for 12 years now?

Seems like a long time.

In 6 years, that post could vote if it has a valid id and we have real elections.

Don't you get tired of doing that every single day?

omg! what a freaking laughing stock @nytimes.com shame on you. you are part of the problem, a very large one

I mean they're flagarant genocide apologists. This is what I expect of them these days.

OMG - I actually remember that one!

I recall this article when it came out. It really hit home and still does.

Probably the best work outta the onion

THE GOP IS A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

So the lobbyists for guns were getting money from the which people starting war to continue the supply and continual development of war technology?

I mean, congratulations?

I wonder what Jason Roeder makes of this.

"Nearly" is obfuscating quite a lot of ground here.

Total idiots as far as gun laws go......and who they vote for!

The Onion USED to be satire. Personally? I’m taking this as a sign that the Ludicrously Satirical Universe & ours?… Have finally merged…

Satire is dead- long live satire

it would be funny if it weren't so sad

Gotta laugh to keep from crying sometimes. youtu.be/prdgErtriGI?...

My first thought. I am speechless, and glad tat you are not.

The Onion could literally run this every single day. Sad.

Gaucho here. This fucked me up. Again.

Fuck, I remember read this article when it came out... I'm so fucking old 😭

Reading* Words hard brain bad

Having a "senior moment", are we, dear? 😀 TBH the sooner bluesky allows editing posts - even for only 10 minutes or something to fix typos - the happier I will be.

Visionary.

I like this, because I hate that you were right.

There are many ways to have prevented the shooting in New York. Sadly, many Americans believe they need guns to protect themselves from others who have guns.

Perhaps our elites shouldn't be so abusive and exploitive of the rest of us. There are people in this story I feel sorry for, but the cop and the private equity CEO are not among them.

That does seem to be their assumption. Is it actually an effective way of protecting themselves, though? Whenever I hear of these atrocities that Yank newspapers accept as normal, they seem to involve a shooter & victims, not a gunfight. So...it seems that carrying a gun doesn't actually help them?

THIS!

It is always possible I missed the remarkable "my own gun protected me from a mass shooter" headlines, I am on the other side of the world. Did anyone ever... succeed... in that particular section of the American bucket list that we Aussies just weren't ever informed of?

On the other side of the equation, between 2003-21, there were over 1200 children killed by unintentional firearms discharges in the US. So, not only are guns not protecting people from guns, they're actively adding to the problem just by lying around.

Well, it's not a story then. Look at the media, and say that's going to get reported. Center or right (no left media in this country), they want you feeling afraid and helpless.

Nah, I reckon they would tell us far and wide how successful they were to take out a mad gunman. It fits their narrative, they would tell it loud, at least to the yanks. I don't read much international news though. That said, yes, their media leaves a lot to be desired.

I've seen one example of where someone was stopped without shooting, of about 100 stories, only two mentioned that a gun was used to capture the shooter before they started. So, this wasn't even a shooting.

Ha! I also may have missed some important gun fights post-Alamo as I’m in the UK. However I’m still hearing it’s not guns that kill people it’s people and it takes a good guy with a gun to outwit a bad guy with a gun so may be that I’m lacking some potent information.

No, you're not missing any pertinent info😔

Never happens. There’s even been instances where a trained bystander doesn’t want to use their gun during a shooting because they don’t want to get shot by our heavily armed police. And our news has done multiple reports on how it’s basically impossible to be the hero they envision.

On top of that, a lot of these incidents have taken place in small, enclosed spaces, like classrooms and nightclubs, so what are these idiots going to do? Have a shootout over a bunch of kids? Or people dancing? Usually the gun jams, and then people tackle the shooter or they unalive themselves.

After the Las Vegas concert shooting I read a piece by a country musician who was performing at it. He and his band all had guns backstage but even they took one look at the chaos and realised they'd only make things worse. He said they all realised how deluded the "good man with a gun" thing is.

The American dream, baby. It's a jungle out there

Tim are you clairvoyant

It can’t be done, says the people who don’t even wanna try.

yes, I remember those headlines of yours 😁. Loved them. Shared them. Argued about them.

It really is The Onion's best work and America's absolute worst that it seems permanently relevant.

I keep telling everyone. The solution to gun violence is….. body armour awareness!

It's such a small price to pay for our freedoms. Freedom to say what we want, freedom to protest wherever we want, freedom to have an abortion, get quality healthcare, access to the best infrastructure in the world, a government concerned for our health and well-being. It's quite a deal actually.

You should definitely write for the Onion

Evergreen.

This is Simpson style. Well done.

I am convinced that the Onion is staffed by at least one malicious time traveller.

Uh this is def plagiarism

i'm half wondering at this point if it was AI generated

And I'm wondering if the "expert" was on Team MAHA.

Fair point.

They don't credit The Onion. Typical.

ChatGPT stole this for the New York Times

Uh… Ben Collins is CEO of the company that owns The Onion and the link goes to The Onion… so what hint is missing? Or did I misunderstand?

You're missing the nyt screenshot above that link that has essentially the same headline. That nyt story is the one theyre referring to.

Nevermind… I just turned the logic around… the NYT should have credited The Onion for this notion.

👍

" Tim Apple" remember...

I assumed that Chris was mocking the NYT for unknowingly ripping off the infamous Onion headline.

** narrator’s voice ** we did

Watch the new season of Black Mirror. No reason.

buwahahahahaha

Hi lovely’s would you be interested in support a black trans sisters small business 🥲 trying to find community 🏳️‍⚧️ bsky.app/profile/snor...

I really think the Onion should sue.

They'll mention "independent journalists" when they update in three days.

Their so sneaky

@nytimes.com why don’t you credit @theonion.com when you steal their headlines?

The Onion are the experts.

The rest of the world: “What’s wrong with Americans?”

Alot it seems. Even I never thought it'll get this bad.

Never underestimate the power of stupidity & bigotry united in a common cause.

It is so bad over on the dead bird flaming🗑️heap. Like being on Lies social or an online kkk mtg😡 Absolutely disgusting🤮 Even the rare times l get directed to r/conservatives isn't anywhere near as ugly & evil.

Let's not ignore ignorance as part of the equation. If you have no idea what's happening in the rest of the world, you assume your own experience is normal.

With a smartphone & internet connection there's only willful/intentional ignorance.

They also need the inclination to look and the belief that there's something worth looking for. Now, you could argue that's part of willful ignorance but I think it's slightly different. Arrogant ignorance, perhaps, or something like that.

Arrogance is still willful.

Funny how most other countries don’t have these. Maybe gun control works.

But but mah ego... It's sick.

SUE FOR PLAGIARISM. YOU KNOW THEY KNOW.

Always determined to render itself irrelevant.

Nearly? Wasn’t he carrying an M-16? That is a military grade weapon, and illegal for civilians. Perhaps stricter gun laws, deeper background checks, and cracking down on illegal weapons could have prevented it? But I guess kidnapping brown people is more important 🤷🏻‍♀️

He bought it in Vegas and drove to NYC. That’s why bans for just one state don’t work as well as a federal ban would

No, it was not an M-16. It was a PA-15 semi-automatic rifle, though yes it is banned in New York. Also, don't use the phrase military grade, that really means it's crap, the civilian market has been better than what the military uses for hundreds of years.

Yes because it's totally not the lack of federal gun control laws or Investment in mental health care

From what I've heard, the issue here was rampant capitalism ruining lives until people feel their only recourse is to hope they can take some of the people responsible down with them. Neither gun control nor mental health care are going to fix that.

Or about 500 other things that could make life easier and more enjoyable.

The way I see it There are 3 ways to address the gun problem. 1st is enact stronger gun control. 2nd is invest money into mental health care. And 3rd is change the gun culture in America

They nearly wrote the impossible headline

SUE!

Get rid of the fucking guns.

History of mental health issues but still given a concealed permit.

He was suffering from a CTE. While the symptoms are behavioral the diagnosis alone isn’t considered a disqualifying condition. It’s classed as a disease rather than a behavioral issue. He would have had to have been admitted or committed to a facility or had legal issues to trigger the background.

From CNN earlier. After he was issued the CCW he was held twice. This would have triggered a revocation of his permit. He would still have the copy but it wouldn’t be valid. While he had the card it wouldn't be valid.

Death Inevitable, Experts Say

That thing that happens nowhere but the United States was impossible to prevent.

I think its actually pretty based to do nothing in regards to the safety of corporate execs(especially one of the more evil corps) and cops

Will you be suing them for plagiarism?

There's a good Onion piece for sure ;)

That office full of typing chimps is getting closer to finishing their great work.

Did anyone else notice the Adam's rambling open at the press conference sounded like a campaign speech or that the NYPD cap he wore seemed to be melting into a "Dark Gothic MAGA" hat?

"Death is the fate that awaits all Men . . . sometimes at the end of a barrel held by another man. 🤷" - New York Times

Once we watched Sandy Hook happen & nothing changed, nothing ever will Dozens of little children were butchered & we did nothing We have more guns than people in America, this is never going to change So glad this is the reality for our country moving forward, with mass shootings never ending

I use this as an example often. When this country decided we're ok with our children being hunted and violently murdered in a classroom; why the fuck should we care that adults get killed at work? We decided years ago that the right to own weapons meant to inflict mass casualties is more important.

bsky.app/profile/zpde...

Ironically, those of us who swore we'd never own guns are considering buying them and showing up at gun ranges. TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM THE GUN NUTS.

As a leftist, I cannot encourage people enough to go out and purchase a firearm if you can be a responsible owner If the govt and all these right wing chuds have guns, so will I We shouldn’t allow the state to have a monopoly on violence, if it unfortunately comes to that

I'm considering it. Funny enough, my ex-husband is a gun nut. He recently complained that the range is starting to fill up with too my left-wingers. Good. Maybe we've started our own version of the Cold War. Better than a full out Civil War.

The Second Amendment applies equally to every American citizen 🇺🇸

I remember Columbine like it was yesterday. That was over 20 years ago. Nothing has changed since then.

Me too, I was in elementary school at the time I was as mystified then as I am now how we can watch stuff like that happen and do nothing I mean I know why nothing gets done, but I mean from a moral, existential point

All of this. Because some people are very insecure.

You did nothing on Jan6 either. Look within your government and fix it.

Seeing as though I don’t personally control anything except for who I vote for, maybe chill out a bit Most of us would love to fix it. There’s systemic issues that prevent us from doing it, which makes it a vastly more complicated problem than it should be

Yeah, given the current circumstances, given the current laws, given the current government, no mass shooting can be prevented.

Yeah, maybe if someone in government actually prioritized a strategy/response/long-time-vision to address gun violence, like they are prioritizing ICE raids and sending people of color to concentration camps, this might be preventable.

Well, if that's what people wanted, they should have elected public servants instead of a literal gang of convicted criminals and antisocial scumbags The administration only appears to be failing if you think they're there to represent the people and the public good

omg FUCK. OFF. with this shit! You and your pub write better more legitimate headlines in your sleep

It’s impossible because we give any nut-job the right to buy a AR-15 no questions asked. 🤬

And the government can’t even do anything about it because they’re lazy as hell.

He brought it in from Las Vegas. The man who owns the store in Vegas, where the shooter bought his ammo, called the police after the man left his store and told them that he bought an unusually large amount of ammunition, and the Vegas police didn’t bother to check it out.

Because buying a great amount of ammo is normal activity in the US? Blowing it off lead to people dying.

Too much paperwork!

Anything that happens had a 100% chance of happening or a 0% chance of not happening. This reflects just how stupid we have become in our relentless efforts to avoid responsibility for the immoral stupidity of a humanity that is destroying itself.

O M F G. It’s the gun$.

¹

Poe's law is alive and well I see.

Except in all the other countries where it doesn’t happen. American exceptionalism at its worst.

Congratulations! I hate it here. This is terrible.

Next Onion Headline be all, "'No Way to Prevent-Woah wait we're suing,' says only Newspaper where this headline used to be exclusive"

Hahaha the one right next to the police station?

Meanwhile, in Germany, from 2010 thru 2020, there were a TOTAL of 132 shooting deaths involving police officers. That’s 0.0361347 per day. Thoughts and prayers to the 0.0361347 of a person who dies today. If only it could’ve been prevented….

Only in AmeriKKKa - nowhere else - let that sink in ONLY IN AMERIKKKA

LIES

Well, if you assume that we can’t do what other countries do and BAN THE ASSAULT WEAPONS, then there isn’t a way to prevent killings. 🤷‍♀️

It can’t be done while republikkkans are in charge

Or democrats apparently.

Exactly

New York already did.

The problem is that it's a patchwork of laws that vary state-by-state.

Was he from New York tho.

Like I am not even a gun control person but this is a joke of an argument you think is such a banger you've dropped it several times in this thread. Realize this is an L

When did New York secede and become a nation? Man, I need to stay up on the news. The data on this issue is really clear: because we have too many guns, we have mass shootings. And the reason we have too many guns is because we invented a new belief about Constitutional rights, about 50 years ago.

And what was the Constitutional ruling before that, because you are going to like it even less. Should I spoil it for you?

In the early 30's this was legal. It isn't now. youtu.be/gim9GshnPMU?...

The previous Supreme Court standard was ONLY weapons of war were protected.

Prior to Heller (2008), the Supreme Court standard did not affirm any individual right to own or carry firearms. scholarship.law.duke.edu/cgi/viewcont... Prior to 2008, the short history of Supreme Court decisions on firearms laws was basically just one case, upholding a ban on sawed-off shotguns.

A ruling that said it was OK to ban short barrel shotguns because they WERENT COMMONLY USED AS WEAPONS OF WAR. Even though that was also a mistake because they WERE commonly used. Which IS ruling it’s an individual right.

You think the 2nd Amendment of the Bill of RIGHTS isn’t about protecting RIGHTS. Despite that being the ENTIRE purpose of it?

Look, I get it: you're a 21st century gun nut, and you think 21st century gun nut thoughts, like a wholesale embrace of the late-20th/early-21st century revision of the basic interpretation of the 2nd Amendment. It's ahistorical, but you do you. I'm not trying to change your mind, here.

50 years ago was 1970. I was alive but not following the US news. Did you see private citizens back then legally buying and storing machine guns? I thought that ended under Prohibition, but I'm not a historian or an American so I could be wrong!

The last time a private citizen could legally buy a new machine gun in America was 1986, some of them that were registered by then are still in circulation and there are some extra steps to getting them; and the prices have gotten VERY high.

Actually Gun Control in the US was historically driven by racism, see Ronald Reagan passing California's first gun control laws back when he was governor of Cali

In “recent times” very much yes. Most “gun control” only makes guns more expensive, which isn’t that progressive. Of course the really wealthy & corporations, can have equipped security & body guards

Well the first gun control laws in the US were passed after the civil war in the South iirc and evidence suggests they were just never enforced on whites as a means of disenfranchising black people.

It is also true that there was a lot of that after the Civil War also. So you have me there, rereading what you wrote, you did use Reagan as an example, not as the 1st example.

We banned them once, we can do it again, just need to get a lot more nazis out of office Ironically, the original bill passed in 1994 was supported by Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan, along with several congressional repubs

Fucking washouts

Nearly impossible ? The guy wasn't using a slingshot, for f_ck's sake.

"but if they take our guns they are gonna be massive shankers like in the uk"

this is especially hilarious bc there are more stabbings annnually in Texas than the UK.

is specially hilarious because you would need to be The Flash to stab people as fast as a bullet for their analogy to make sense

A ban assault weapons would have.

He would've used a shotgun or handgun and killed the same people

They already are banned there.

Nope, and this is coming from a very progressive voter who is also a long time gun owner.

Really? Works in developed nations...

Are you going to have to retire the headline now the way we had to retire “Thanks, Obama” after Obama said it

Wow.

One of the all-time classic Onion headlines, right there in the one-time paper of record. Perfect. And perfectly depressing.

in a slightly less worst of all possible worlds the onion would be the paper of record

(in the worst of all possible worlds the paper of record would be the babylon bee)

der sturmer but they think they're funny: the babylon bee

6 and a half billion per year to NYPD certainly didn't prevent it what does that tell all of you?

I know this is ironic and funny but it’s also so incredibly depressing

A person known to have mental illness fucking walked down a street in broad daylight with an assault rifle and “there was no way to prevent this” FUCKING BULLSHIT

He didn’t “walk down the street”He walked from his doubled parked car to the building, reportedly about 150’

Stealing your gig, man!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27No_W...

That's the thing, all evidence suggests that the US just puts on a show of being a developed country.

Absolutely no way to prevent it...🤷🏼‍♂️ *Peruses UK gun laws *

To dramatically reduce these crimes, the USA could enforce the contextualising first clause of its second amendment to the constitution: No weapons if you're not in your local militia.

And given the context of the well-armed militias was supposed to be instead of a standing army...well, the US has a very large and enthusiastically well-funded standing army, so tbh, the whole second amendment is a relic.

I've heard the right to bear arms was intended to enable citizens protect themselves from a tyrannical government using federal forces to oppress them. See e.g. constitutioncenter.org/the-constitu.... I don't think it has ever been used for this purpose in practice.

I've seen that interpretation too and it probably comes down to which founding father's writings you read! In practice, well good luck to them these days, lol, and also, when a tyrannical gov came around, the gun nuts were on his side. 🤷‍♀️

Well yeah, because gun control laws were passed every time people tried to actually do it (see the Black Panthers in California)

They could add two letters to the 2nd Amendment, just to clarify it: "..., the right of thOSe people [the 'well-regulated militia'] to bear arms shall not be... "

*Also Australia's*

In Ireland our *police* are not routinely armed.

There’s a lot of countries you can take as an example. Given the prevalence of guns, something like Switzerland’s might be more achievable.

Dumb dumb dumb

Sue them. Pleeeeeease sue them for plagiarism.

Congress could stop the mass shootings.

Having background checks on gun owners could have. Or, the impossible, gun control for all citizens.

bg checks are already federally mandated for gun purchases, but they also don't entail what you think - theyre just lookups to see if you have anything like a felony conviction or other disqualifying factors. ive had jobs run more thorough bg checks during hiring and that was just for entry lvl

they have become.... The Onion. like "holy shit man walks on fucking moon" this is "holy shit the new york times has absolutely gone fucking bonkers"

It took just ONE mass shooting in Australia.... and peace for the next 30 years

Likewise the UK, but Nigel Farage wants to loosen our gun laws. Now who on earth could've given the evil, skiving, Trump fan boy grifter that idea?

And they've been the island of screeching Karens ever since.

Stop using AI as a source

If you leave out the handful of incidents since 1996, then yes "peace"

In the US, we barely even call murder-suicides mass shootings. In fact, we might not.

"13 mass shootings" "Peace" Ok... The US has a general homicide problem, compare your country's total homicides to our non-firearm homicides and you're see ours still dwarf yours. Even if we got rid of all of the guns, we wouldn't see much of a dip in murders. You're not treating the cause.

Beg to differ buddy. Show us your stats comparing Australia's homicide rate to America's

Learn to read my dude 13 mass shootings before Port Author None after.

That's not true

This only works if the police disarm first.

We've also proven that we won't do anything about government over reach with the guns. So I am not sure what the argument is supposed to be now other than a toddler level tantrum about wanting the murder machines because their friends have them. I'm not against guns even. Just these horrifying ones

"Peace for the next 30 years" Or a disarmed peoples stuck at the whim of the government.

Same in the UK.

In the US, too many masculine insecure men who vote.

Yup. Ego over the safety of literal children! My family did own guns, as we hunted deer, but dad was sure I didn't know the combination. Why? I had no reason to as I never joined them. I think only he knew. He was a real dad and a real man.

People seem to think that gun control restrictions means no guns at all no matter what which is just very far from the truth tbf not many people in America are well educated

The 2nd Amendment restricts the government from imposing Restrictions on the people, of which have a right to be armed. Guns are used in what is it? Like 160,000 crimes a year in the US? Yet are used to stop 400k+ crimes a year. Peoples right to be armed doesn't end where your feelings begin.

The Second Amendment is for states, not for idiots to have guns.

2A is for all American Citizens.

Only if you are in a regulated militia, what is now called the National Guard. You want a gun, join the Guard.

Regulated Militia meant able-bodied Men with guns. Not thr NatGuard. Keep trying.

The Second Amendment specifically uses the words "well regulated" but sure if you only read the parts you want to you can make it say what you want.

If only you comprehended basic English

4 of your examples were after the Bill of Rights, which was based on the Federalist Papers. The Federalist Papers referenced states having a military equivalent to the US government, but made no reference to idiots owning guns. Superficial knowledge is dangerous.

Lol if only the federalist papers actually mattered

"A well regulated Militia" meant armed, able bodied men. A soldiery ready to do battle for freedom and protection of the then 13 colonies. But good try. Bud.

So you're saying no woman, children, or men with any disability? Still sounds like regulations would be a part of that. But hey, you're allowed your "alternative definitions".

It was the 1700s. At no point did I mention Kids, the disabled or women. I advocate for all people who would be oppressed by the rise of far right extremism to be armed. The disabled. Elderly. Women. Trans people. Gay people. Armed LGBTQ dont get bashed Armed women dont get Raped.

Yes and no. The only reason we feel compelled to own guns is because our government is evil af. Other countries manage to get their way more often than we ever do and that’s with guns. So what the hell is the point if we’re not actually using them for the purpose of that amendment?

Most other nations are cucked for gun ownership, have good mental health resources, or dont have corrupt blackmailed Pedophiles who fell into Mossad honey traps like Trump. They also dont have the feds grooming Mentally ill kids into mass shootings for accelerationism.

Then do something about it. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT FOR US TO HAVE GUNS. If the government is evil take your guns and go do something about it. If you have no intent to do so then frankly you don’t have a leg to stand on. Go fucking kill them if you’re so passionate about it

Hey I've been pushing for my Southern US friends to fire the shot heard around the world for 9 years now since Trumps first election. People are too pussy to band together and die for their causes in the west now.

Found today's shoehorn! How to blame Israel for .... America's 2A gun crisis

Found another Illiterate! I pointed out that Trump is a blackmailed pedophile who was conned by Mossad. Go be a Zionist somewhere else, Moshe.

Stop you right there! Mental illness is a scapegoat. I've had mental illness my whole life and never thought, "Hmm, I'm gonna kill innocent children because I can." Shooters aren't ill; they are evil! They want to get "on the scoreboard." And we eat it up. Shame on society.

Yeah I got mental illness too and havent gone and shot anything g up either. But you still gotta be mentally ill as fuck to go shoot people at random.

The second amendment has long been misinterpreted. The founders only accounted for muskets, not the weapons that we have today.

The first amendment has long been misinterpreted. The founders only accounted for Quill and Parchment, not the Media we have today.

False equivalency.

Nope. They couldn't account for the development of Weapons or Media. Also before you mention muskets and Cannons they knew eventually that Automatic weapons would be a thing.

This is such a dumb argument. "being necessary to the security of a free State" We have zero recourse against a tyrannical state these days. The second amendment is moot.

Congrats. The Liberals/Democrats brought that on themselves by being anti gun. Now most Conservatives own guns because and side with fascist idiots like Trump. Perhaps if you all stop being limp wristed, armed yourselves and trained you could so something about it.

Conservatives own guns because what? Any moron can own a gun. The only thing they can do is kill innocent people or kill themselves. No one is fighting a tyrannical government. No one.

Yeah cause both sides are too big a bunch if pussies to fucking start a civil war to fight that Tyrannical government

I'm pretty sure when they wrote the second amendment, with their muskets, they weren't thinking about high capacity assault riffles.

"Is that why they're called Assault Rifles? Never heard of these fucking PROTECTION RIFLES you speak of!" ~ Jim Jefferies

You seem triggered.

Nah man. Just quoting Jim Jefferies from his stand-up special called 'Bare.' It's funny, no matter what your stance on gun control is. I recommend it for a laugh.

Moot point anyway, there’s no reason for any regular citizen to have anything other than a hunting rifle outside of the government protection reason which none of them act on so yeah no reason

In 1776 during the revolutionary war civilians owned private fucking Navies. If an American wants to own the MG42 his Great grandfather liberated from a Nazi machine gunner he should be allowed too. I only own Bolt actions cause the government of Canada is fucking dogshit.

“Because I want to” is a horrible reason go fuck yourself lmao tryna act like there’s a good reason and devolving it to that is comical

Pretty sure when they Wrote the first amendment with their Quills and parchment they werent thinking about TV, PCs or Radio.

@edjessup.bsky.social Gonna respond here?

The police having guns vs the public having guns. Very different.

No that's just civilians overall. Cops stop I think it's like, 1.7 mil? Crimes a year. I'll need to go find my sources so dont hold me to any of these

Thought you meant that no one would have guns lol, even the cops. But considering anew- if they were no guns they would not need them to stop crime...

Elaborate on the "If there were no guns they would not need them to stop crime" Cause I assure you Jimmybob with his CNC Machine will make zip guns

Not true.

We need serious help.

You’re not relying on “experts”.

I’m starting to understand how the nazi’s got in power the first time, it’s all just so fucking absurd and fast

Our gun laws make that headline true.

Art imitates life Life imitates art

No one could have predicted this

You ceased being satire and became the Oracle of Delphi a long time ago, around the time of the first real five blade razor. theonion.com/fuck-everyth...

Onion ought to be required reading in j-school

How can you argue with Experts?

I saw an expert on abc news, and this article is false. They could have hit the gunman in the head with a fire extinguisher (according the expert on abc news). And no! Don’t shoot the white stuff out of the fire extinguisher at the shooter, use the fire extinguisher as a blunt object.

You should sue them for plagiarism. 🤦‍♂️

When fiction is stranger than truth… Ffs🤦‍♂️

Chappelle said it best, but let's amend it. If you want gun control; every able bodied person of color needs to arm and then open carry. They'll change those laws real quick. Only reason open carry is illegal in California is because the Black Panthers exercised that right.

Chris Rock said everyone can have a gun but make every bullet $50,000. You want to fire that gun you take out a second mortgage and work two jobs.

The rich would continue to get away with murder

"I believe you have my property"

That's true but if rich people keep being taken out like this they'll definitely reconsider gun control

I wish this guy has focused as well as L did on his target. He just killed and maimed rando in the general direction of his grievance.

??? pretty sure a billionaire died wdym

I get it. Mental health stuff, gun control, that just can’t be done Just because the rest of the first world countries do it doesn’t mean it’s possible

But don't you see? Helping people is COMMUNISM and SOCIALISM and that's EVIL. What's clearly not evil is withholding healthcare, education, livable wages, and the necessities of life from everyone but the wealthiest. I think Americans should all just leave for greener pastures in other countries.

As soon as one says they will accept Americans gleeing fascism, I’m gone!

*FLEEING!!!

You're more than welcome to come to Canada. We're just like the US but at least we have a decent healthcare system and lower violent crime rates

🤣😖

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social

so what do cops do???? lol

Yep No way to prevent something that just about only happens in the U.S.

Did they miss the part about gun control laws???

Nearly 🤬🤬🤬🤬

I keep saying, the only way to end all mass shootings is to make sure the next one happens in the Senate, or Congress, during a sitting. Gun control will happen pretty fuckin' quick when the politicians are casting their votes in a room indelibly stained with their predecessors' blood.

Who will enforce gun control? They will still need guns. Do you trust them to be the only ones with guns?

Ever heard of a country called "Australia"? Little known place. Shootings way down since 1996. Wonder why. Also, why aren't you 2A types doing something about the literal government tyranny being enacted right now?

So you agree that the government has become tyrannical, but you want the feds and cops to be the only ones with guns. Cognitive dissonance is gonna split you in two if you arent careful. Our bad for not waging a war on DC and turning trump into a right wing martyr too, I'll get right on that.

It's really fucking simple. So simple I thought even a product of the US education system could work it out, but I guess I was wrong on that one. My bad. You have guns because of the risk of tyranny. WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING USING THEM? Because you're lying about the reason you have guns.

I have guns because they're fun, and because two people tried to carjack me last year and I wasn't about to let that happen. I have guns for my personal protection, and for sport shooting.

I'm not about to shoot trump because that would make him a martyr and give the far right an excuse to declare martial law and ramp up their rounding up of political prisoners.

If you want him dead so bad come here and buy a gun and shoot him yourself and deal with the consequences you'll bring down on the country.

What is your theory on why people have guns? I'd like to hear it if everyone who says it's for defense or for hunting or for sport is all lying. Everyone except you is lying about the reason we have guns and you're the only one who knows the truth apparently, so what is it?

The reason any American has guns is because you like playing with toys and paramilitary cosplay, and talking a big game about what they'd do if the government came for them. There's a lot more of that going on than anything else.

That you can't see you're heading there without anyone shooting him stopped being cutely naive years ago. Just make sure any time anyone says they have guns in case the government gets tyrannical, you call them a liar, while you're being dragged off to the camps.

I don't even understand what point you're trying to get across.

Again, who will do the enforcing, and do you trust them to be the only ones with guns? What would you like me, an individual, to do?

Work on your literacy skills. Words seem to make it into your head without their meaning. Maybe try reading slower. Australia has gun control laws and the world didn't end. Police facilitated a gun buyback. They enforce it just like every other law. Slow enough for you?

Of course, if you don't trust your police to enforce your laws, that's kinda a "you" problem. I'm just talking from a "wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to read a headline about a dozen schoolkids getting shot with alarming frequency?" position.

No, we don't trust our police to enforce our laws. Do you trust our police to enforce our laws? Cause right now most cops are collaborating with ICE and the feds.

Gee, imagine that. It used to be "if you outlaw guns only outlaws will have guns", now you live in a country where it's reasonable to fear your law enforcement having guns. It's literally your fault your country is that fundamentally broken. Not my problem, long as you fuckers stay there.

It never stopped being "if you outlaw guns only outlaws will have guns," that goes for every country and everything that can be outlawed. I'd like to hear what you think I personally did to break my country and why you think everyone giving up and leaving would be a good idea.

You, and everyone in your shithole country contributed to making it the way it is. Enjoy. Don't get up and leave. Stay there. We don't want you ruining every other country the way you've ruined yours.

Significantly less population and hundreds of millions of guns less.

Yeah, you really need to step up your population culls. Targeting elementary schools has been a solid strategy so far. Get 'em before they breed.

So solid that there hasn't been an elementary school mass shooting this calendar year?

"No elementary school mass shootings this calendar year" isn't the flex you think it is when you're talking to someone who lives somewhere that hasn't had a mass shooting this century. You wanna tack another couple of qualifiers on to get a longer time window?

Either it's using Australia 😂

Didn't he start with that suggestion?

What's that Place where Trump has just been visiting his golf courses? They had a mass shooting in 1996, but none since. How did they prevent repeats?

No shootings since '96? What is it about that year, I wonder - the same year the Dunblane massacre happened in Scotland. Mere days later gun control was tightened; the UK hasn't had a similar incident since. Gun control works.

I mean, sure, people have been shot in Australia since, but it's rare. Thing about gun control law is, you can still buy and own guns, even for recreation. Just that "Port Arthur" was the last word in our regular gun violence.

Remember how the Republicans reacted to 6th January, where people were activly looking to hang the vice president?

Gun control will happen *for them*, in much the same way that they get single-payer health care and the average American doesn’t.

Weeks ago, a rightwinger murdered our wonderfully accomplished Speaker of the House in her own home in the middle of the night. And our state republicans? They don’t care.

Ridiculous

NOTHING CAN BE DONE?!!?!!

You should do non-firearm deaths, too. Might see it's a lot worse than just the guns.

We’re talking about guns here

My favorite onion headline lol

😡😡😡😡😡🤯

new york times is a collaborator with the regime. #vichyjornalism

How about proper gun controls. Just a thought.

What are you, some sort of empathizing woke socialist..?

Aww. Thanks for the compliment ☺️

Proper gun controls = no guns on civilian hands.

Agreed.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_...

They should have stopped him from walking down the street and into the building with an assault weapon!!!!!! The New York Times is compromised!

It could have been prevented by banning assault style weapons.

Or I mean, doing something about the reasons this guy wanted to fucking end some lives? Seems more effective than just making sure the next shooting is done with a handgun.

Do we know why?

guy had a CTE injury he blamed football for, was going after the NFL HQ, got off the wrong stop on the elevator, went into the office of one of the country's largest investment firms instead.

He was in the NFL? Or just wanted to hit out at the most visible target to make some kind of grand gesture? What a fucking waste of lives. *I'm* mentally ill and that STILL pisses me off.

no idea, but CTEs don't exactly make people the most placid or rational, certainly. there was a notorious case years back of a WWE wrestler, Chris Benoit, who ended up w/ brain damage from repeated concussions on the job and killed his family then himself. iirc many suffering from it die of suicide

FUUUUUUCK. I don't know why I got all judgey there. I don't publicly disclose my mental illness in any kind of workplace setting because it automatically makes people give you the side-eye for being a potential mass shooter or spree killer.

I get it, and yeah, it was a waste no matter which way you slice it. sad that the guy felt driven to... desperation, I guess, bc of his condition, sadder still that he took 4 other completely unrelated people with him, sad that apparently no mechanism existed to go "hey don't let this guy have guns"

And there is ABSOLUTELY NO MECHANISM IN PLACE TO PREVENT THIS - and NO ONE who's in a position to DO anything about it who is WILLING to. Every Empire must fall. This one's going down exponentially faster than any other in history. And it will go out guns a-blazin'.

that gun already banned in NYC, oh you mean New York State, now wait Nevada, mmm Columbia....keep doing that until you rid the world of weapons? CRIMINALS DON'T CARE ABOUT LAWS.

Well if it’s banned EVERYWHERE in America…

Sure, re-write the constitution 2nd, and 4th, undo 250 years of federal and state laws, finally remove 400M formerly legal guns in America. We'll wait.

I’d like to channel Jim Jeffries and remind you the 2nd and 4th are amendments, and that means ‘change to the original’. The USA managed to add and remove the 18th without society imploding, for example. The 4th also is about search and seizure - why would it need change?

Yeah it’s a slow process, but it’s one other countries have accomplished. And the second amendment was written when it took 2 minutes to fire a single shot. There’s nothing wrong with limiting what weapons are available to the public.

Just remember that when you're informed elections are no longer necessary and DHS needs to inspect all your computers.

Honestly I’m tired of hearing this bullshit. Stop acting like if that happened you would use your lil guns to stop them. You’d just get online and whine about how the “far left” caused it somehow. I promise you that no matter what firepower you have, the cops and Feds have AT LEAST 10 times that.

sounds like you've convinced yourself of your own irrelevance. Good luck to you.

I mean I would phrase it differently, but yeah. I’ve accepted that if the government wants me dead, I’m as good as dead (barring a ton of luck and outside help). But have fun taking on a tank with your AR-15 and let me know how that goes.

Point one more thing out. If there no limits on what's avaiable to the public I could buy a Javelin, therefore a tank is no longer the big threat. As it stands, we have to make RDX in our garages which is both dangerous and illegal, so thanks for that lol. bsky.app/profile/matt...

This level of defeatist non-self actualized conditioning hits professional ears like high school orchestra rendition of Beethoven's Hammerklavier Sonata. Do you luck into a PhD or $millions? You put in the work with an impetus to earn it and learn something. If you don't, maybe say less.

This mindset is part of the problem, painting gun owners with a broad brush like this is incredibly alienating to ppl who support gun violence reduction who vote progressive and are gun owners.

Look at Switzerland they have easy access to guns but low gun violence. It's not the guns it's the culture, this comes from a long time far left, long time gun owner. Too many lack basic understanding of firearms function and capability and it is impossible to have a good faith debate

With some that doesn't know the difference between a sabot and rifled slug or a 223 with 1:8 twist likes a 62 grain bullet over 55 in most cases and that holosun offers a solid red dot at an adorable price Can't have a convo without credibility

Gun go boom, shot person, person die. The fuck are you talking about? I’m fine with you disagreeing with me, but I don’t need to be an expert on how guns work just to be in the discussion

Also, Switzerland does not have “easy access to guns.” It’s much easier to get a gun than most European countries, but they are still much more strict than the US when it comes to semi/full automatic and carrying in public.

You cannot own or possess a fully automatic firearm in the US. Open carry of firearms in Switzerland is legal but uncommon do to difference in culture. www.ch.ch/en/safety-an... Also if you understood firearms you would know that there is no appreciable benefit to a fully automatic rifle or...

It's refreshing to hear from a pure anarchist, you're wrong, but brave in your opinions.

might want to do some more homework on political philsophy, I represent pure liberal democratic ideals.

Sure thing, bunky, like your philosophy that we shouldn't have laws, since criminals won't obey them. Thanks for playing though! 😃

Unlikely, banning ArmaLite style rifles is long crossed the line of on unfeasibility. We cannot put this tooth paste back in the tube. We need to make a tremendous effort to shift our gun culture in this country. That is where change is possible. A Switzerland style gun culture is what we must....

Shift towards. You will never change gun culture until you realize that you cannot write legislation if you don't know anything about guns. It is a hard truth us lefties need to face

Another civilian with access to a military weapon. What could go wrong?

RIP @nytpitchbot.bsky.social

are you worried that the nyt is going into satire? is there enough room for the both of you

Something something drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience...

www.commondreams.org/news/mamdani...

If it was impossible to prevent why do such mass killings only occur in the US?

As truly hilarious as the headline is next to the Onion classic, the point of the article wasn't that it's impossible for the US as a whole to prevent, it's that the US is so awash in guns that no individual state or corporation can stop it.

Thanks for the clarification. I don’t have a subscription and was wondering about that.

If MAGA senators like Kennedy are saying gun laws, mental health evaluations and yearly re-tegistering guns isn’t at least “solutions” to avoid taking high powered weapons away, how about every public building put in metal detectors and bag and body searches to thwart mass shooters?

Edit “re-registering”.

First they wrote the article, which makes the important point that if red states with lax gun laws are handing out AR-15s, NY’s much tougher gun laws won’t prevent this. I know it’s become trendy to hate the NYT, but yeesh.

It is also worth noting that NY hasn’t had a worse mass shooting in 24 years. In a city with millions. So their gun controls are doing something right. Shows what we could achieve if we banned assault rifles again nationally.

💯

Deja vu 😢

Kamtchatka Earthquake Was Nearly Impossible To Prevent.

Nearly Impossible?

My politics has been boiled down to full opposition to the death is inevitable" people

@nytimes.com : REALLY? You fucking cowards.

www.cnn.com/us/live-news...

"The gunfire front just moved in"

Maybe if we think reeeeaally hard, we can imagine a way to prevent (gun) shootings by guns.

IMPOSSIBLE.

It's like seeing a solar eclipse.

Gun control, end NRA. NRA owns GOP

Stealing this thank you.

NRA is almost entirely irrelevant and has given relatively minor money to candidates for awhile. Simply, not everyone agrees with you, and they vote based on it. It’s one of the strongest single issue drivers to vote

Wrong. Please educate yourself. NRA laundered over $50 Million in Russian money for Trump campaign in 2016. And that's not all. NRA Was 'Foreign Asset' To Russia Ahead of 2016, New Senate Report Reveals www.npr.org/2019/09/27/7...

NRA & RUSSIA bsky.app/profile/chri...

Wow! Thanks for sharing-- wasn't aware of this.

Wow is right... That the first MSM story I've see in a LONG time that looks like it took some real reporting skills to put together.

It’s a decade old

That's probably why lol

I knew Marsha was a vile pig 🐽 but not a traitor.

I was surprised too. It explains a lot of her actions. Like defending Trump's Russian money flow.

Not at all wrong. That was kind of part of their downfall, also other sketchy things from leadership. But that was in part because they were already on a downward spiral & many pro-gun people were already moving on to different organizations. But thanks for backing up my point

You were wrong, and they are still relevant bsky.app/profile/did:...

I’m sorry to inform you, it’s not 2016 anymore & I already described this to you despite you thinking you had a sweet dunk. Maybe be more worried about Russia than NRA

I'm not trying to dunk on anyone, sorry if it seemed too strong. 👉 NRA is a direct threat to the health and safety of our Nation. They have an oversized influence on Gun Control. Based on facts. And that has NOT changed. End NRA

What a juggernaut.

You are ignoring what I already stated. It's not about budget, alone.

I think their point was that the NRA's influence and contributions have fallen off since 2016. Compare the numbers and ranking of the latest cycle to 2016. They are still huge but I agree that they are waning in power. Mostly cause their job is done imo. US society (seemingly) will not shake guns.

I'm worried about Russia AND their American collusion pals inside the house.

And yet Russian citizens have no right to bear arms….

Russia ran a massive campaign to change that (supposedly). Maria Butina (spy) and John Bolton (US) were involved (2014)

Putin will literally say something in English, then switch to Russian and say something else They pushed anti-vax in US while making Russian laws much more strict on Vaccines and basically calling any Russian that doesn’t get them is an idiot & a traitor.

They “US created in a lab” thing wasn’t new at all to Russia/Soviets; they have used it for at least 5 different things, the damage from that is still killing people in Africa.

It never ceases to amaze me the gun fetish crew will give up so much freedom and safety for the illusions of safety guns provide you. Meanwhile it’s become the #1 killer of American children. Because we are held hostage by extremists.

"Gun fetish crew" and you wonder why no one takes you seriously? Guns became #1 the year when kids weren't going to school. The year when they weren't driven anywhere. When car accidents were the #1 cause of death. Said statistic also included 18-19-year-olds and didn't include kids under 1.

It was 3 straight years, children 1-17 Also don’t see how calling people obsessed with guns to the point they’re okay with killing people a “gun fetish crew” would cause someone not to be taken seriously publichealth.jhu.edu/2024/guns-re...

"save the kids! Stop aborting BABIES!!! The libs want to KILL YOUR BABY WHEN IT'S 8 MONTHS OLD!" "Oh, guns in school? That's just fine. Get over it. So what if they're easier to get than healthcare access? FREEDOM baby!"

I fully support the right to abortion, I'm generally pretty pro gun, not so much everyone can take a gun to school.

Hmmm. Wondering what else could be driving this...

Pro gun means you're okay with letting kids get shot in school. This happens at least a hundred times a year in your country. If someone can get a gun, anyone can bring one to school. Many such cases.

Quite the opposite. The vast majority of Americans want gun control, they just don't vote based on it thanks to hyper-nationalism and, well, Russia. Source: Most Americans Oppose Gun Control - Up to a Point, Survey Finds | Columbia Law School share.google/ty8DL4YFfJ8g...

It’s not the opposite at all. If you ask someone a very general question asked in certain ways, you can get people to vaguely support it. The same is basically true for abortion restrictions. But pro-gun & pro-choice are more like to vote based on it, and be single issue voters.

Perfect example right in this data: “Some 70 percent agree that police should have the right to stop anyone they believe is an illegal alien and request identification” How has that gone when Trump has actually tried to do it? Should Democrats support it because it’s “popular”?

No one wants "bad people" to have guns, most people think they personally should be able to get one if they want to.

It’s a paradox that almost anyone that wants gun control knows very little about guns, so are terminally bad at writing legislation against them The rest are police officers & former military that are basically like “that’s not what guns are for, they are for taking to other countries & using them”

Which is why the "assault weapons ban" banned the AR-15 but not the Mini-14, you have to be a serious gun nerd to explain the difference, and the Mini-14 was used in the Miami Massacre (FBI shootout) and The A Team TV show, it was well known. Shipped with wood not black plastic though. 🙄

And what it looks like when they actually try to write laws they are almost always very far away from “common sense”

It laundered Russian cash for Trump, as the bipartisan Senate Foreign Relations Committee concluded in 2018. It was infiltrated by a convicted Russian spy who now sits in Moscow in parliament. The NRA has become extreme. It no longer represents normal Americans who hunt, but gun nuts & psychos.

I was aware when I posted what I posted, and this has already been brought up. That is part of the reason it’s almost completely destroyed, but people were already moving away from it, and it wasn’t because they were “too extreme”, most moved to ones that were even more pro-gun

To put a finer point on it: the NRA was already falling out of relevance because the corruption that later became a big story was making them ineffective at their stated mission and people were noticing. Finer still: The gun nuts were starting to smell something wrong before it became big news.

I think there was also some embezzlement or other sketchy book keeping going on also

A lot of state level groups were already starting to revolt by the ~2005 era because the NRA was pushing culture war wedge issues and undermining local initiatives. Pre Tea Party, even! That revolt very much was not them thinking the NRA needed to talk more about pawpaw's deer rifle.

I do know lots of people in it. Around here it’s just a hunters group

Yep

The NRA had their own TV channel for a while, they create plenty of pro gun propaganda.

“Had”

🚨Guess who “owns” the NRA? 🚩Russia has been funneling money to the GOP *through* the NRA, for a while now. 🚨The #ProPedoRepublicanParty is as CORRUPT & Anti-American, as the day is long. 2019: 🚩“The NRA acted as a "foreign asset" for Russia in the period leading up to the 2016 election”

I saw NRA guy climbing out of an ICE truck.

Russia owns NRA

Jinx!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Over his grave!

As long as it’s NOT “Under his eye!” See you there! 🥰

Would love to know the experts they cite but I’m not paying for that paper ever again.

but but the thoughts and prayers?! They do nothing?!?!

My unpopular opinion: no one gets guns. Police; only specially trained elite teams. Period. Don't say we can't. We haven't tried.

"like, we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!" - US lawakers re: gun control, probably.

Thanks 4 Sharing👍😡😡😡😡😡😡😡👍

It’s easy to prevent. Confiscate every fucking firearm period. It isn’t that hard.

You don't even have to do that. In Australia heaps of people can have guns, but the strict gun control measures we implemented were still enough to prevent mass shootings.

"When we removed every single thing we could do to prevent this, we ended up discovering we actually couldn't prevented this"

Have they pivoted to stop and frisk as the only solution yet?

There literally is a senator popping off about this. I think a dude CARRYING A FUCKING MACHINE GUN isn't going to stop for a frisk.

What experts would say that?? Camera clearly shows him armed with the rifle BEFORE he enters the building. No Security? No raised alarm to the occupants?

With the current politicians in power, I think the headline was spot on. Get some people who are willing to fight the NRA and their insane agenda and we might be able to figure out what the rest of the world has done successfully.

Everything old is new again. Satire is reality. We’re at the crossroads of Idiocracy and Cyberpunk, with doses of WW2 ‘nostalgia’ and ‘reality is tv’ mixed in.

I have some questions: 1) Why didn't they stop and frisk? 2) Why are they blaming NFL who aren't on that floor? 3) Why does this headline look like the inciting incident for Minority Report? 4) Are the experts Adams' astrologers? 5) Why not even more guns? 6) Did prayer work? 7) Epstein files?

Cc: @jasonroeder.bsky.social

NY’ers will understand laws won’t stop a determined criminal, only armed citizens can, by the good way or the bad way.

I'm, uh, not happy for you.

Why is no one talking about the Reno One? I'm so baffled. That suspect is in critical condition.

Good grief.

definitely sue them

This only happens here because we allow people to own military assault rifles.

They finally did the thing they’ve been seemingly wanting to do. Nothing seems to matter anymore except choices Democrat politicians and decisions some women make, other than that, it’s pretty much, too bad so sad clowns.

The onion is moving up there with the simpsons now predicting the future.

I wonder if stricter gun laws might have helped?🤔🤬

count the mass shootings in coutries where people are not allowed to have fire arms

my god

irony is officially dead

New York Times falling off was impossible to prevent, experts say

Really disgusting for Mamdani to be in another country like he doesn't even care

The head of the NYPD released an official statement, saying, "I'm Sowwy 🥺"

Is there a trend in NYT coverage of NYC shootings? www.nytimes.com/2024/12/04/n...

After Sandy Hook, we all knew nothing would change.

and -- yup, it was just too on the nose

they gone.

About fricking time

There are ~336,000,000 potential victims in the US today. No one knows how many potential murderers there are.

Fuck that!!!!

11 billion dollar NYPD budget

oh is it at 11 Billion now? wouldn't surprise me. I've been saying 6 and a half billion. It's an enormous sum. Like ENORMOUS.

Could be 11 trillion doesn't matter without gun control and regulations.

AND the security guard killed was an off-duty NYOD officer who had to work a second job to support his family… $11 BILLION budget and they can’t even pay their officers enough to live. Disgusting cesspool of corruption

Yep 😡

But maybe if we gave the cops a death star laser we could finally bring down the graffiti incidence..

They don't prevent or solve crimes. They exist to maintain the status quo of haves and have nots. Have nots who approach haves will be physically repelled by them, up to and including death. Have nots will be framed for "committing crimes" that threaten the status quo. $11 billion for this shit

Too busy chasing turnstile jumpers and playing Candy Crush

important that the city not lose $2.90

But the precious CEOs...won't someone please think of the CEOs? Whose lives the government wants to believe matter more than the rest of us

Bro you don’t understand. They need that submarine bro. Get those mermaids criminals.

For years my school district had a SWAT team (I'm guessing because the other choice was deferring to LAPD whenever a kid lost it badly enough for administrators to decide forcing their way into a classroom was necessary), so right now I'm trying not to look up if NYPD really has manned submersibles.

(My understanding is that the district realized actually having a special tactics unit clearly labeled as such probably constituted a PR misstep and actually gave back or transferred at least some of the military surplus equipment. They still retain most of the capacity.)

It’s a shell game 🐚

Gotta bust those seaweed 🌿dealers

🙄😖

bro seaweed's been sealegal in New York Seaty for a while

You said sealegal instead of seagull when you had the chance. I won't forgive you.

bsky.app/profile/mono...

One time I drove across the whole metropolitan area to my high school reunion. I passed a dozen or so massive diamond stores in mall parking lots, all with hundreds of thousands of diamonds for sale inside. Bumped into an old friend at the reunion, and she told me she sold "rare" diamonds. Really?

A lie agreed upon is "Truth"

📌

That's a really great video I've never seen, thanks for that. 🌿👍😎👍🌿

It's also here as lyrics from Ren......I thought he'd written them but now I'm not so sure-stonking tune and epic muso either way imho. youtu.be/Uq3Z6D74dSA?...

Found it by accident. Bright shiny penny that fit in that discussion.

It’s a track by ‘Ren’ and the cartoon is probably AI

All credit to the original poster who brought it together in their edit. The Ren track I had never heard before either but it stayed with me

Love Ren. Genius musician.

it's called precure

The cartoon looks like an edit, not ai.

It is an anime named Tropical Rouge Precure

If only my pesky fucking ethics didn't exist.

The last word... youtu.be/FeF1XtlXmqA?...

My God that's fantastic! Thank you for bringing it

Awarding you one follow for this life-enriching post

This is Money Game Pt 2 by Ren. Just watch all 3 parts. Its worth the 15 minutes to watch his version. www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sIP...

I appreciate it. I was taken enough to look up the lyrics and find the full version

Don't forget the loan sharks!

Kelp is a gateway drug that statistics say leads directly to hemp more often than not..🧐

Under the sea PD

Please tell me there is no NYPD submarine and this is sarcasm.

Y'know a part of me hopes there is an NYPD submarine.

The Hunt for Blue October

I get that.

So apparently they got a fleet of underwater drones in 2011? Maybe that's what this is referring to.

Yeah, look at what happened in Baltimore.

How more incompetent can you get to not see THIS "a minute away" from a precinct building

To remove guns from civilians? Totally agree.

Hey now. Isn't this your shtick over at the Onion everytime this happens?

OnionGPTed the headline

Those "experts" should come up here in Canada. They might learn some things. USA is a frigging mess at this level. 💥

I guess it’s technically true. In a nation where there are more guns than people and the politicians are literally bought buy the gun lobby, and mental health services are in the toilet and political anger runs rampant and the police force is a joke… it is impossible to prevent.

Hard to imagine whoever wrote this headline isn't a regular Onion reader

That’s what I think too. This isn’t accidental.

I wonder who from the GOP they call in to write their headlines for them.

Jesus tap dancing Christ.

They’re just barely phoning it in now.

Once again, The Onion is leading the way.

Dumbest shit

Absurd! Double parked on Park Ave!??? Running around in the lobby with a automatic rifle in front of armed guards? Security needed to get on an elevator? Come on!

What “experts?”

you can’t prevent a guy from getting his brain turned into a 7/11 slushee by his creepy high school football coach and then throwing a rock, picking up the unsupervised assault rifle the rock hits, and then deciding to find the CEO of Football and make him pay

Sue. SUE!

Nearly?

Wow 🤦 date on this?

America is not special. Pick a country with a much lower incidence of gun crime. Do everything they do and in time you too will have a much lower incidence of gun crime. Australia's gun ban in 1996 comes to mind. They are doing fine.

They beat you to joke... and they still dont see the satire blatantly staring at them.... Australia: cough cough, right!

Okay Karen island.

Were those "experts" employees of ammunition shops, or within the management structure of the NRA, perhaps?

reality is so stupid, beyond parody

Yeah, I hate it, too

Impossible to prevent here in the US, in other countries... pretty possible to prevent.

Funny, that

The rest of the developed world seem to prevent it every day. I wonder why that is?

In the UK they will also arrest you for facebook posts or if you're protesting with the wrong crowd.

This is, of course complete drivel. One person was arrested for a post that calling for families to be burned to death in a hotel during a race riot and attempts were made to do this. Or perhaps you believe incitement to murder is legitimate use of freedom of speech?

Nobody healthy wants violence, you're right. People committing acts of violence should be arrested for it, you're right. The slippery slope to control over speech is lubed with good intentions. The slippery slope to oppression is lubed by disarming the people.

As if you could outgun the police with their military equipment. Let alone the military itself (and it has already come to this - what with Trump turning the military loose on Los Angeles). SCOTUS intentionally misread the 2nd Amendment to save their own skins. It's not more nuanced than that.

Every successful under-armed resistance group in history would like to disagree. The idea Is to make systematic oppression of people as expensive as possible. Unless you trust them to never ever do it if you say stop. You may trust police and ICE but they haven't given me good reason to.

I absolutely trust neither. That is not my view, which is that here no underarmed resistance group can succeed. Underarmed resistance groups often have home court advantage (e.g., v. Redcoats). The undoing of the abuses by ICE and the police must come another way, and it won't be at the OK Corral.

An interesting point and one of the good arguments to bear arms is to defend yourselves from a lawless government and its agents. Well, you have both now and I don't see much an an armed resistance. If half what is going on was happening in France, the Fench would burn the place to the ground.

I believe it may be because we are trying to avoid a second civil war.

Once you become a mature democracy, say in another four or five hundred years, you may find you finally have no need to carry a weapon, vote for a wannabe dictator or consider paedophilia an acceptable life choice. Sounds a long time but let us assure you it's worth the wait.

Inshallah! Would be lovely. I'm still going to keep mine.

You sound eminently sane and I'd certainly not advocate taking your weapon away. But to hand assault rifles out like candy to anyone who wants one has to be asking for trouble. I used to own both a rifle and a shotgun but the checks for the licences were long, tedious and understandable.

By this "logic", the people will only remain "free" if they have unfettered access to nuclear submarines and tomahawk missiles. It's nothing more than retard soup that you yanks have been force fed so many times in your life you never even question it.

Freedom of speech can be misused to take away from other peoples freedom of speech or expression. There are rules in freedom of speech that if not respected, quickly can become de facto censorship regardless. Freedom of speech is like the free market, you need rules otherwise you get monopolies

Who makes speech rules and how are they ultimately enforced?

There are no freedom of speech laws as such in the UK. There are, however, laws against the incitement to break other other laws. There are also, of course, civil laws which cover slander and libel.

America, the land of the free. Free to get stopped by the police hundreds of times in your life. Free to have parties that can’t go on past midnight. Free to go bankrupt when you can’t pay medical bills. And free to buy your kids bulletproof backpacks. You guys are so free!

I don't want to rain on your parade or anything but (assuming you're American) I'm pretty sure you're _already_ being oppressed. No-one's rising up with their much vaunted Second Amendment rights to fight off the tyranny of ICE, are they?

It's true they should. We're not organizing well enough.

We don't have to do bad stuff as well as good stuff. We have a choice!

Violence is a choice, you're right. Nobody healthy wants violence, but self-defense is a human right.

Now explain why self-defense has to involve guns. I'll wait.

Guns exist and people have them whether it's legal or not. Also I can't fight for shit, but I can shoot, so guns give me a tool to defend myself until I can get to safety. People saying "Nobody should have guns" are saying "Only certain people should be able to defend themselves, the rest can die."

Yeah guns don't get used for self defense statistically lol.

This was from the Dept of Justice in 1992 so a little dated but they knew it and said so publicly back then. www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtua...

1992 is ridiculous, and it's authored by the NRA who have a track record of lying. Dismissed.

Trying desperately to find stats from a time before mass shootings happened twice a week and going back 40 YEARS.

🤷 Ok here's from last year. Regardless I'm keeping mine and will continue to advocate for armed self defense and training. Nobody healthy wants violence but self defense is a human right. ammo.com/research/def...

But as long as we're link-bombing, have a link yourself. www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtua...