I like this idea because it’s got the potential to be so personal. Like if there is a specific bird atop your enemies list it’s probably there for a specific reason
Replies
Mockingbirds and swans. They know what they did.
may 2, 2025, 9:27 pm • 1 0 • view
mockingbirds are at least a two seed
may 2, 2025, 7:42 pm • 1 0 • view
great idea only thought is maybe change it to "asshole bird rankings" to avoid misunderstandings
may 2, 2025, 7:41 pm • 0 0 • view
Canada Geese are the easy answer. Canadians should demand they lose their name, because they slander our nation by association.
may 2, 2025, 7:31 pm • 4 0 • view
Alberta Goose
may 2, 2025, 7:42 pm • 3 0 • view
The ones that sing at like 7 8 pm ish. KNOCK IT OFF I have to be up at midnight for work.
may 2, 2025, 7:39 pm • 0 0 • view
@yourmandevine.bsky.social and seagulls
may 2, 2025, 7:51 pm • 1 0 • view
fuck 'em, bro
may 2, 2025, 7:54 pm • 4 0 • view
Birds are generally just assholes but speaking a UK fan, cardinals can go to hell.
may 2, 2025, 11:15 pm • 0 0 • view
The birds identified in this story all suck because a 7 mile stretch of beach road between Pensacola Beach and Navarre is 25 mph during nesting season. No, I haven't gotten 2 speeding tickets on this road in the last 2 weeks. Why do you ask? www.pnj.com/story/news/l...
may 2, 2025, 7:53 pm • 0 0 • view
I've seen mockingbirds chase hawks, crows, dogs, cats, ppl. All with a beautiful singing voice. I want no part of those divas.
may 2, 2025, 7:40 pm • 0 0 • view
Mockingbirds and blue jays are both on the list.
may 2, 2025, 8:11 pm • 0 0 • view
For example: When we lived in Houston my wife was convinced a specific flock of grackles was following her around Rice Village throughout the week to menace her. I don't mind grackles but I have been attacked by both wild turkeys and Canada geese.
may 2, 2025, 7:35 pm • 3 0 • view
We’ve all been attacked by Wild Turkey, brother.
may 2, 2025, 7:41 pm • 47 4 • view
Dear god WT makes me insane. It’s witches brew. I see it now and I either shudder or run.
may 2, 2025, 11:18 pm • 1 0 • view
In college I worked on a farm where we raised free range turkeys. Despite feeding them the weeds I picked day after day, one of them pecked me in the eye and ate my contact lens. Turkeys are assholes
may 2, 2025, 7:43 pm • 2 0 • view
I lived in Boston near a conservation area and saw a wild turkey in the front yard so I texted my roommates about it and they were like "why didn't you kill it for dinner?" "With my bare hands? Fuck that I'm not that stupid"
may 2, 2025, 8:12 pm • 3 0 • view
My Boston-area friends all have turkey stories, including one which involved a very solemn funeral procession interrupted by a turkey attacking the hearse.
may 2, 2025, 8:38 pm • 2 0 • view
Remember the lady in the news with the emotional support peacock? I assumed she was a masochist
may 2, 2025, 8:10 pm • 1 0 • view
I don’t know if it’s true for wild ones, but domestic cockatoos are hate made flesh
may 2, 2025, 9:17 pm • 0 0 • view
my uncle has a blood feud with Common Grackles
may 2, 2025, 7:37 pm • 1 0 • view
So did my grandpa.
may 2, 2025, 7:38 pm • 1 0 • view
Pound for pound it's these jerk birds. Such assholes they didn't get a real name, just a description, "red-winged blackbird". Dive bomb other birds, animals, people, they don't discriminate, they're coming for you.
may 2, 2025, 7:57 pm • 1 0 • view
Grouse. Thousands of hours in the woods, and nothing (bears, crazy people, a 60’ tree that fell a few feet from me in a storm, snakes underfoot, etc…) has ever startled me like one of those jerks.
may 3, 2025, 4:52 am • 0 0 • view
Ospreys. They always seem to build their nests in the worst possible spot as if they know it’s illegal to disturb them. They also projectile poop as they take off - poops which are massive btw - and it’s like the purposely fly over people when they do it
may 2, 2025, 7:40 pm • 1 0 • view
And again, as they’re endangered and it’s illegal to disturb them, they’re the bird equivalent of a secondary antagonist from an 80’s action movie who taunts the hero by waving a “diplomatic immunity” card in their face
may 2, 2025, 7:42 pm • 1 0 • view
Goddamn crows
may 2, 2025, 9:42 pm • 0 0 • view
I took my kids to the zoo and at I've point i had to shield their eyes from a Canada goose attempting to murder duck chicks in front of their mother.
may 2, 2025, 7:52 pm • 2 0 • view
YIKES
may 2, 2025, 7:56 pm • 0 0 • view
Just the sound of a red-winged blackbird gets my hackles up.
may 2, 2025, 7:40 pm • 0 0 • view
When I was three, I was flogged by three roosters.
may 2, 2025, 7:32 pm • 0 0 • view
Spencer ranks toucans #1 in a spectacular "seafood sensation" moment.
may 2, 2025, 7:32 pm • 0 0 • view
Seafood Sensation, no longer made with real toucan
may 2, 2025, 7:40 pm • 1 0 • view
the Froot Loops know what they did
may 2, 2025, 7:37 pm • 1 0 • view
they made unseasoned Apple Jacks thats what
may 2, 2025, 7:38 pm • 2 0 • view
There is a starling off the 8th hole at Bear Slide Golf Club in Cicero, IN that does not deserve any sympathy
may 2, 2025, 8:13 pm • 1 0 • view
Canada geese who choose to abandon migration.
may 2, 2025, 7:41 pm • 0 0 • view
I had two small parrots growing up and they both took great joy in perching on your head, pooping, and then flying off while laughing.
may 2, 2025, 8:01 pm • 0 0 • view
Also had a one eyed pelican chase me on foot in Florida for having the audacity to being in the same general area. Asshole.
may 2, 2025, 8:04 pm • 0 0 • view
I have since learned how to peacefully coexist with them but when i was in college a crow woke me up at 5 am and I yelled out the window at it so it made sure to come back before dawn and screech at me until I moved
may 2, 2025, 8:09 pm • 0 0 • view
Swans are at the top of my list because one attacked me at the Memorial Park Lake when I was three years old.
may 2, 2025, 7:33 pm • 0 0 • view
It's on sight with me and Great Blue Herons.
may 2, 2025, 7:40 pm • 0 0 • view
It is on sight with one of the red-winged blackbirds on my walking route
may 2, 2025, 7:33 pm • 14 0 • view
I wish they could understand my pleas that I'm not interested in eating their young
may 2, 2025, 7:42 pm • 16 0 • view
I wasn't interested before but this jerk has me rethinking it.
may 2, 2025, 7:51 pm • 9 0 • view
Ducks. Just ducks. Number one on the draft board.
may 2, 2025, 8:12 pm • 2 0 • view
Canada Goose. The assholes honk at all hours. I bought a hawk call to scare them off. Its had some effect, they no longer nest by my apartment
may 2, 2025, 8:55 pm • 4 0 • view
I saw a Canadian goose kill a squirrel at university of north Florida college of business over a hot dog bun.
may 2, 2025, 8:58 pm • 0 0 • view
I would put a Canada Goose in the Sharpshooter
may 2, 2025, 8:56 pm • 4 0 • view
I fucking hate geese
may 2, 2025, 9:29 pm • 0 0 • view
Geese used to shit all over the outfield I played in my high school so my uniform was almost geese shit stained
may 2, 2025, 9:33 pm • 1 0 • view
They are all over one of the YMCA fields around here. We also have some in our neighborhood. They used to be really bad but apparently one of our neighbors was FEEDING THEM which brought them closer. Those people moved though
may 2, 2025, 9:36 pm • 0 0 • view
Whyyyyy
may 2, 2025, 9:43 pm • 1 0 • view
I skipped over the word "call" on my first read through and I was like damn
may 2, 2025, 8:58 pm • 1 0 • view
I did look into that. I also looked on how to attract birds of prey to the area
may 2, 2025, 8:59 pm • 1 0 • view
Roosters. I had a rooster that chased my girlfriend through a field until she collapsed.
may 2, 2025, 9:09 pm • 0 0 • view
I'm working on befriending neighborhood crows for the sole purpose of attacking the asshole blue jay terrorizing my backyard
may 2, 2025, 7:48 pm • 0 0 • view
I'll never forget the story of an owl that kept attacking people in some city or town in The Netherlands because a dude who got attacked described it as getting hit in the back of the head with brick that was covered in nails.
may 2, 2025, 8:57 pm • 0 0 • view
"1. Geese 2. My former roommate Dave's parrot."
may 2, 2025, 7:59 pm • 5 0 • view
Canada Geese are by far the biggest assholes, apologies in advance to Letterkenny
may 2, 2025, 7:36 pm • 2 0 • view
:)
may 2, 2025, 7:32 pm • 1 0 • view
Bird Disaster episode? I have a tattoo of a red winged blackbird on my left arm for a ver specific reason
may 2, 2025, 7:35 pm • 0 0 • view
Seems reasonable to me, then, that we should also consider Bird Heroes, like that goose that 9/11'd Fabio's face while he was on a roller coaster. I can't immediately think of a reason why Fabio deserved it, but the comic absurdity of the whole thing brought me a heroic amount of joy.
may 3, 2025, 1:55 pm • 1 0 • view
My little sister has recently gone to war with two birds outside of her window that keep waking her up. This list would be A+.
may 2, 2025, 7:35 pm • 0 0 • view
Seagulls. Have a house rule that if you hit one while playing beach bocce you win. (Only Jersey shore seagulls though)
may 2, 2025, 8:00 pm • 0 0 • view
Am I the only person that loves Canadian geese? 🤣
may 3, 2025, 4:22 pm • 0 0 • view
fucking woodpeckers
may 2, 2025, 7:32 pm • 1 0 • view
Magpies. It’s definitely magpies for me. Those fuckers run the MSU campus and are mean as hell Also seagulls at my high school in San Diego would literally *descend* on the quad at lunch and god help you if you weren’t under cover
may 2, 2025, 8:43 pm • 4 0 • view
the grackles at UT were like those seagulls people fed them fries because they thought it was cute, but it’s less cute when there’s a poofed-up male grackle perched on the table a foot from your face, staring you down to demand your food
may 2, 2025, 9:22 pm • 2 0 • view
All the flightless ones (non-penguin category) are assholes, especially cassowaries
may 2, 2025, 8:49 pm • 2 0 • view
The story of Johnny Cash getting bodied by the ostrich looms large
may 2, 2025, 8:50 pm • 1 0 • view
My great uncle raised emus and they did NOT play
may 2, 2025, 8:50 pm • 3 0 • view
My ex had the *meanest* fucking emu on her farm. Her name was Baby and she basically held court there
may 2, 2025, 8:52 pm • 2 0 • view
Every time I point out a blue jay, my wife loudly yells that they're FUCKING BASTARDS, and won't elaborate further.
may 2, 2025, 7:39 pm • 0 0 • view