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Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social

Creative writing prompt: Make a simple press statement about a car accident sound suspicious on at least three different levels.

The statement on Giuliani, which for some reason frames his car accident as something that happened shortly after he
sep 1, 2025, 3:15 am • 4,276 568

Replies

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Real_Sloths_R_Us @realslothsrus.bsky.social

They left out the part about how he was leaving a meeting to try to solve world hunger before he was flagged down by the woman. Important detail to note about Rudy’s selflessness.

sep 1, 2025, 3:57 am • 16 2 • view
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Kirk Murphy 🇨🇦 🇺🇸 ❌👑 @kirkmurphy.bsky.social

Extra credit: work in Streisand Effect and game theory. Wrong answers only.

sep 1, 2025, 3:57 am • 14 1 • view
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Alex 🔧🔮🌎🪿 @mistermadge.bsky.social

Is "business partner and medical provider" one person or two people?

sep 1, 2025, 1:37 pm • 5 0 • view
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Hist911 @hist911.bsky.social

😆❤️😆

sep 1, 2025, 4:07 am • 1 0 • view
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Monica Chilton @monicachilton.bsky.social

Okay, so it *wasn’t* just me.

sep 1, 2025, 3:51 am • 2 0 • view
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WyWyFly @wywyfly.bsky.social

so a dui perhaps?

sep 1, 2025, 11:54 am • 1 0 • view
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It's Michael @mycombs.bsky.social

The woman he was helping:

sep 1, 2025, 1:54 pm • 0 0 • view
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Bigb72 @bigb72.bsky.social

His business partner and medical provider showed up. How bad do you have to be at life that those are the only ppl that show up to see him in the hospital? Does anyone know if he came out the vehicle already wearing a neck brace????

sep 1, 2025, 3:58 am • 40 2 • view
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Midi-chlorianally Challenged Coyoty @coyoty.bsky.social

Two people or one? Was it a caretaker with power of attorney?

sep 1, 2025, 7:11 pm • 0 0 • view
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Ruth keady @ruviewer.bsky.social

Does anyone remember the time someone slapped Giuliani on the back and he had the guy arrested for assault? Giuliani said the feeling was like ‘being shot or struck with a boulder’. So maybe he’s not hurt that badly, just scraped his backside on an empty Pepsi can or something..

sep 1, 2025, 5:58 am • 23 2 • view
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Kate Phyre @katephyre.bsky.social

Someone on BlueSky said it before me, so I’ll concur; whatever it was that went down, it wasn’t that.

sep 1, 2025, 7:47 am • 9 0 • view
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Obadiah Brooks @ocbrooks.bsky.social

The whole deal has an Eddie Murphy “Good Samaritan” vibe to it.

sep 1, 2025, 3:25 pm • 0 0 • view
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Joel A. Machiela @machiela.bsky.social

So, even if we take the first part as true, it has nothing to do with the accident itself.

sep 1, 2025, 2:52 pm • 0 0 • view
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GetWisdomDude @getwisdomdude.bsky.social

So Just After He Was Cruising The Avenue Trolling For Hookers ... His Car Was Struck & Now He's In the Hospital. Got It. Pots and Chairs Guy. Pots and Chairs.

sep 1, 2025, 4:45 am • 18 0 • view
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Inga Hansen @ingahansen.bsky.social

sep 1, 2025, 6:15 am • 5 0 • view
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iTunes Brian 🇨🇦 🇮🇪 🇷🇸 🇺🇦 @itunesbrian.bsky.social

In 2019, 19-year-old Marcella Zoia, known as
sep 1, 2025, 7:16 am • 1 0 • view
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busguy.bsky.social @busguy.bsky.social

Couple questions: Was Melania in NH? Was Ghislaine on work release that day?

sep 1, 2025, 2:43 pm • 0 0 • view
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HongKongDongSong @hongkongdongsong.bsky.social

How does a broke old goober like Rudy have a head of security and business partner? Pay your judgements ya' cheapskate.

sep 1, 2025, 3:57 am • 12 2 • view
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wallaby67.bsky.social @wallaby67.bsky.social

He gets bankrolled by the "Keep your damn mouth shut about Epstein" bros.

sep 1, 2025, 4:11 am • 8 1 • view
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Wonderful Secrets @xiratho.bsky.social

A few weeks ago, Rudy said on a podcast that he doesn't think epstein was suicide.

sep 1, 2025, 5:27 am • 2 0 • view
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Elaine @atlelainesong.bsky.social

The articles make it look like the guy or gal who tried to kill him, will get away with it. the Luigi argument is real.

sep 1, 2025, 11:49 am • 4 0 • view
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Sven Peake @svenpeake.bsky.social

"a fractured thoracic vertebrae" makes no sense. "Vertebra" is singular; "vertebrae" is plural. Oh--and in addition, nothing else in this statement makes any sense at all.

sep 1, 2025, 8:46 am • 7 0 • view
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Kevin Mc @kevinmac27.bsky.social

So the suggestion is that Giuliani earned the wrath of an enraged husband, who rear-ended his car in revenge. How did the husband know who came to his wife's aid? And how did he track Giuliani down (in transit)? And how did Giuliani know that the rear-ender was connected to the other incident?

sep 1, 2025, 12:32 pm • 1 0 • view
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sarahp @mizpie.bsky.social

Did he get drunk and fall down some stairs?

sep 1, 2025, 12:41 pm • 1 0 • view
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z. eek @zzzeek.zzzeek.org

they had the whole response team gathered at four seasons total landscaping headquarters to get this written stat

sep 1, 2025, 3:22 am • 113 4 • view
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Metal Moxie @metalmoxie.bsky.social

That was legit my favorite memory of him. Standing in front of that garage with black hairspray melting on his face. What an embarrassment.

sep 1, 2025, 5:22 am • 55 0 • view
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gruffthedog.bsky.social @gruffthedog.bsky.social

The one where he farted in court was good. And the one where he realises he's wearing two watches.

sep 1, 2025, 11:39 am • 0 0 • view
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Thomas Banacek @thomasbanacek.bsky.social

They’re here for you: bsky.app/profile/gtco...

sep 1, 2025, 7:12 am • 67 5 • view
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nohyphens.bsky.social @nohyphens.bsky.social

That’s fantastic

sep 1, 2025, 12:14 pm • 2 0 • view
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EndoraRosenblatt @endorar.bsky.social

I imagine the best thing the "Mayor" could do is ride off into the sunset.

sep 1, 2025, 4:15 am • 0 0 • view
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Laruna Softpaw @larunasoftpaw.bsky.social

It reminds me a lot of the Big Balls "I was saving a woman from a gang of violent men" story and that's probably not an accident.

sep 1, 2025, 2:53 pm • 1 0 • view
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DANA STEVENS @thehighsign.bsky.social

I had just finished saving a baby raccoon from drowning when, unrelatedly, a piano fell on my head, but chill out, I'm fine (disregard all future press releases claiming the contrary).

sep 1, 2025, 4:14 am • 192 3 • view
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Jane Flames 🔥 @janeflames.bsky.social

I had just rescued a cat from a tree when I was clipped by a truck skateboarding home. My lawyer and drug dealer arrived at the urgent care immediately to oversee my care. This is the only statement authorized by Mayor McCheese. Signed, Lurch. What is everyone not getting??

sep 1, 2025, 4:46 am • 95 0 • view
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FratBoyAMY🗽 @fratboyamy.bsky.social

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

sep 1, 2025, 5:01 pm • 0 0 • view
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RogerThat 🐕☕🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦 @rogerthat---ex-x.bsky.social

That's crazy – he can still afford security??

sep 1, 2025, 4:47 am • 1 0 • view
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mamaltp.bsky.social @mamaltp.bsky.social

This sounds like something out of a Carl Hiaasen novel.

sep 1, 2025, 4:22 am • 21 1 • view
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WhereTheTweetsHaveNoNames @mayhemmayhap.bsky.social

The driver who rear-ended him was probably wrestling their pet boa at the time of the alleged collision, as the 14 footer was in a jealous fury over him spending time with an albino cornsnake.

sep 1, 2025, 5:27 am • 8 0 • view
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Mike V. @genexe.bsky.social

If ever there was a guy who if real we could turn loose on these people it’d be Skink. I mean, he’s already in FLA, too. :)

sep 1, 2025, 5:54 am • 2 0 • view
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foglightmj.bsky.social @foglightmj.bsky.social

Sometimes storytelling works for a while, but the truth has a way of coming out: www.seattletimes.com/nation-world...

sep 1, 2025, 5:23 am • 2 2 • view
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dyatesswfl.bsky.social @dyatesswfl.bsky.social

Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to "FoxGPT". Type in your request and out will spew right-wing, conspiracy-addled pablum.

sep 1, 2025, 11:43 am • 2 0 • view
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Max Burbank @mxburbank.bsky.social

Is it customary in instances like this to include a paragraph about the totally unrelated actions a person may (or may not) have been involved in prior to an accident?

sep 1, 2025, 11:45 am • 7 0 • view
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SukItUpButtercup 🇨🇦 ♓ @sukitupbuttercup.bsky.social

That's what I wondered. Weird

sep 1, 2025, 11:51 am • 2 0 • view
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NoTheOtherNick @notheothernick.bsky.social

The least believable part of the press release is that he got out of his car to help someone else, frankly. Beyond that, if any of this has any shred of truth to it (it doesn't), there should be body cam footage from when the cops pulled up to him at the DV stop.

sep 1, 2025, 12:42 pm • 6 0 • view
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Jubilado0505🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 @jubilado251.bsky.social

The police report www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med... says the crash happened on the opposite side of the freeway as the domestic violence incident that POLICE — not RG and co.— were investigating.

sep 1, 2025, 9:28 am • 7 0 • view
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Kay @kay57.bsky.social

In other words... Trying to get ahead of what seems more likely to turn out to be NOT favorable behavior, prior to the accident, by the old man with a stinky history of personal behavior.

sep 1, 2025, 3:31 am • 16 1 • view
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Kevin Bennett @kbkev.bsky.social

Yep. Mayor shirt-tucker makes *my* skin crawl. I can't imagine how women feel, just at the mention of the slithering creep. Guarantee you're right. We will find out more, and we will wish we didn't have to know it. Ew.

sep 1, 2025, 7:15 am • 2 0 • view
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Shoulder Devil @shoulderdevil.bsky.social

Either that or he's flat ass broke and is gonna try to gift a gofundme.

sep 1, 2025, 3:51 am • 5 0 • view
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Shoulder Devil @shoulderdevil.bsky.social

*grift

sep 1, 2025, 3:51 am • 3 0 • view
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iTunes Brian 🇨🇦 🇮🇪 🇷🇸 🇺🇦 @itunesbrian.bsky.social

It’s not standard to centre/center paragraphs in documents like this. A hoax?

sep 1, 2025, 7:20 am • 0 0 • view
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minngirl.bsky.social @minngirl.bsky.social

Sounds like he’s trying to get out ahead of a story? That first paragraph is totally in unnecessary unless he’s trying to cover for something.

sep 1, 2025, 12:06 pm • 6 0 • view
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tsonic45.bsky.social @tsonic45.bsky.social

You know he was buzzed up, he's trying to avoid the OVI.

sep 1, 2025, 10:34 am • 0 0 • view
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Jeff Heisler @jrheisler.bsky.social

Sure, hahaha... He may never stand up again

image
sep 1, 2025, 11:16 am • 0 0 • view
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sunnyglen.bsky.social @sunnyglen.bsky.social

It does read like a Trump level lawyer wrote it.

sep 1, 2025, 6:52 pm • 0 0 • view
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Lvl20FullCaster @opportunemarmoset.bsky.social

And then I totally beat up her husband and she came home with me and we got married and...

sep 1, 2025, 5:15 pm • 0 0 • view
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Midi-chlorianally Challenged Coyoty @coyoty.bsky.social

The press release (which are not written by the press) is putting a lot of weight on the lapsed title "Mayor" to support a positive spin. They use it several times to bear a load.

sep 1, 2025, 7:50 pm • 1 0 • view
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Lone Star Nana @lonestarnana.bsky.social

Alex, I’ll take “Things That Never Happened” for $1000

sep 1, 2025, 10:26 am • 1 0 • view
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klassmi.bsky.social @klassmi.bsky.social

What does the domestic incident have to do with his accident?

sep 1, 2025, 12:02 pm • 0 0 • view
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Michael McBrien @michaelmcbrien.bsky.social

He knows things and message sent

sep 1, 2025, 1:40 pm • 0 0 • view
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jeofree @jeofree.bsky.social

Mayor Giuliani collided with an elephant in his pajamas. How the elephant got in his pajamas he'll never know.

sep 1, 2025, 3:46 am • 54 1 • view
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NotThatKindofSquirrel @ntkofs.bsky.social

You are my hero.

sep 1, 2025, 5:06 am • 1 0 • view
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WhereTheTweetsHaveNoNames @mayhemmayhap.bsky.social

(Cop, writing everything down) "OK, Mr. Giuliuani... do you remember what color the elephant was?".

sep 1, 2025, 5:24 am • 20 0 • view
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Abraxas @abrxs.bsky.social

Let's all be honest now - this is the kind of thing that has happened to many of us!

sep 1, 2025, 11:18 am • 1 0 • view
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Paul Tyreman 〓〓 @drpaulitious.bsky.social

I wonder if the "head of security" will include this on his résumé. Hire me! I can protect you!

sep 1, 2025, 12:42 pm • 0 0 • view
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Fred Grott @fredgrott.bsky.social

he asked Pirro to write it?

sep 1, 2025, 11:11 am • 0 0 • view
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IntrepidGirlSleuth @annakeesey.bsky.social

It’s …bizarre as hell

sep 1, 2025, 10:54 am • 0 0 • view
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TexaKiwi 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸🇳🇿🐈🫘 @texaskiwi70.bsky.social

sep 1, 2025, 5:06 am • 4 0 • view
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Da Fino @ibombatomically.bsky.social

Giuliani definitely refused to pay a sex worker.

sep 1, 2025, 1:00 pm • 0 0 • view
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Lisa @tellmestuff.bsky.social

And what this doesn't say is that the supposed "domestic violence victim" was on the *opposite* side of the highway (southbound vs. northbound side of I-93). The local "news" station also posted this silly explanation BEFORE they even posted the article that there was a wreck. Very fishy.

sep 1, 2025, 11:24 am • 1 0 • view
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Rebecca J. Ritzel @rjritzel.bsky.social

Level 4: Are you telling me Giuliani still has money for private security and a physician who drops everything to travel to New Hampshire?

sep 1, 2025, 4:12 am • 32 3 • view
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Word_Geek @word-geek.bsky.social

His physician is the guy who writes his prescriptions. He showed up at the hospital to half inch another prescription pad

sep 1, 2025, 4:42 pm • 1 0 • view
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Ricky B @ambivalentricky.bsky.social

So he was traveling on a highway, i.e. not stopped at a light, when he was struck from behind at high speed, by a driver he didn't see coming in his rear view mirror, and who must not have slowed down much before rear-ending him. They looked at his rear bumper and said "Time to crash. Floor it."

sep 1, 2025, 4:17 am • 1 1 • view
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Eryn @eryn.bsky.social

Pulled out into traffic in front of a 19yo driver, got rear ended.

sep 1, 2025, 4:39 am • 2 0 • view
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Alexander Chee @alexanderchee.bsky.social

… I might have to assign this

sep 1, 2025, 10:07 am • 22 0 • view
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Hamza in Gaza 💯💟 @salmsasd12.bsky.social

My friend I beg you don't ignore me my family is dying of hunger in northern Gaza suffering from acute malnutrition please a quote from you will save the life of my family of 8 who did not eat I swear💔🙏💔😢🙏

sep 1, 2025, 11:52 am • 0 0 • view
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Dr Seán Ketchem @cskwriter.bsky.social

"Your honor, my client had spent the day of the incident doing laundry and chores for an elderly dementia patient, waited until she had finished the creamy parmesan risotto he cooked for her, headed out to his teen advocacy meeting, and then--KAPOW! he was smacked by a Ford Pinto at ramming speed."

sep 1, 2025, 10:27 am • 7 0 • view
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tejanarusa @tejanarusa.bsky.social

"Struck by a Ford Pinto"--chef's kiss.

sep 1, 2025, 3:59 pm • 2 0 • view
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Paint it Blue @kimberlysaysnope.bsky.social

Imagine the drafts he scrapped....

sep 1, 2025, 8:49 am • 6 0 • view
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reneedodson.bsky.social @reneedodson.bsky.social

Liars always expound on their lie.

sep 1, 2025, 3:18 pm • 0 0 • view
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Steve in Manhattan @steve-in-manhattan.bsky.social

FORMER Mayor Giuliani. We’re still having bad dreams ...

sep 1, 2025, 4:37 am • 2 0 • view
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Seentoomuch @seentoomuch.bsky.social

Mayor Giuliani was picking up puppies from Kristi Noem's vacation home in NH, and when he stopped to donate one of the puppies to an orphanage, a moose charged his car from the woods and rammed the door. The Mayor escaped through the broken windows on the other side but his clothes were torn.

sep 1, 2025, 4:16 am • 38 2 • view
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Seentoomuch @seentoomuch.bsky.social

EMS arrived to find him being tended to in his underwear by a 15 year old orphan girl he was bringing the donated puppy too. His lawyer and his accountant had rushed to the scene and accompanied him to the hospital in the ambulance.

sep 1, 2025, 4:16 am • 33 2 • view
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Thomas Banacek @thomasbanacek.bsky.social

So that’s why he wasn’t wearing pants.

sep 1, 2025, 7:15 am • 6 0 • view
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Sweetiesue1111 @sweetiesue1111.bsky.social

According to the police report... police were ALREADY WORKING the domestic violence scene and watched Rudy's accident happen.

sep 1, 2025, 12:05 pm • 4 0 • view
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Taryn Anwar, Jersey Jedi @jersey-jedi.bsky.social

sep 1, 2025, 7:41 pm • 0 0 • view
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lbj31.bsky.social @lbj31.bsky.social

Probably drunk and fell asleep on the highway.

sep 1, 2025, 2:09 pm • 0 0 • view
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Defenestrate Russia @defenestraterussia.bsky.social

It is not ChatGPTs best work

sep 1, 2025, 6:29 am • 3 0 • view
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alottanerv.bsky.social @alottanerv.bsky.social

They needed to add that a Ford Bronco was involved. Kinda rounds out the story.

sep 1, 2025, 11:35 am • 8 0 • view
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rangersfan80.bsky.social @rangersfan80.bsky.social

Drinking and driving most likely?

sep 1, 2025, 3:53 am • 4 0 • view
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Nihilist Life Coach @brixnstixnpux.bsky.social

Signed,

sep 1, 2025, 3:19 am • 6 0 • view
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branewave.bsky.social @branewave.bsky.social

My “there’s nothing suspicious going on” T-shirt…

sep 1, 2025, 12:04 pm • 0 0 • view
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Cybersecurity For All @cybersecurity4all.bsky.social

“$100 for things that never happened, Alex.”

sep 1, 2025, 5:37 am • 5 0 • view
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Hard2BGreene @hard2bgreene.bsky.social

So, there's a record of the 911 call then, right? It's not just a (likely irrelevant) story inspired by a country song? And medical records will prove he was completely sober when the accident occurred, right?

sep 1, 2025, 4:11 am • 7 0 • view
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Kevin Bennett @kbkev.bsky.social

Oh, that's a good theory. If it was inspired by a Garth Brooks song, she caught him cheating, and was driving the other vehicle at the time of the collision. 🎵 She never hit the brakes, and she was shiftin' gear. 🎶

sep 1, 2025, 7:21 am • 3 0 • view
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Hard2BGreene @hard2bgreene.bsky.social

There's actually a more recent song ("Wait In The Truck") I was thinking about. Either way, the story sounds fishy. Or maybe it's just that he's a liar and I don't trust anything he says, especially when he's making himself out to be a hero.

sep 1, 2025, 3:31 pm • 1 0 • view
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Whitepants @whitepants.bsky.social

youtu.be/f0G7F81LTZw

sep 1, 2025, 4:30 am • 2 0 • view
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timefornow.bsky.social @timefornow.bsky.social

Rudy: 1. The 911 recording has me screaming about being spanked by Trixie the Dominatrix, but I was actually calling for her & complaining about how she had suffered domestic abuse. 2. One of those stray dildos from the warehouse near Four Seasons somehow got up inside my you know what. 3. MAGAt!

sep 1, 2025, 2:19 pm • 0 0 • view
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timefornow.bsky.social @timefornow.bsky.social

Rudy: 1. I was saving Western Civilization & defending the greatest president in world history. 2. Somehow my pants fell down. 3. While trying to pull them up, woke Democrats forced 3 gallons of cheap red wine into my mouth (& also some mood enhancers). Ignore the topless big boobed woman.

sep 1, 2025, 2:12 pm • 0 0 • view
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Schooley @schooley.bsky.social

On that level, a masterwork.

sep 1, 2025, 3:19 am • 63 0 • view
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Eric Blyler @ericblyler.bsky.social

It’s a great cold open.

sep 1, 2025, 3:20 am • 33 0 • view
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Ginny @gmoyer17.bsky.social

Painting Giuliani as a knight in shining armor is hard to swallow. Stopping on an interstate is dangerous. Parking on an interstate is illegal. He caused this accident regardless of the reason. The explanation given is difficult to believe. If true, he made dangerous decisions causing injuries.

sep 1, 2025, 6:42 am • 6 0 • view
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David McIntyre @davidmcintyre.bsky.social

Prior to the car crashing while my pants were around my ankles, I made an appointment with an underage girl who desperately needed the mentoring and guidance of a mature man. Any statements to the contrary are the lies from my enemies, and I will be changing lawyers soon bc of nonpayment.

sep 1, 2025, 11:53 am • 11 0 • view
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EddieLove44 @eddielove44.bsky.social

Let’s just say IF someone’s inebriation WERE to come out later - what COULD we suggest IN ADVANCE that might somehow neutralize it. Anybody? No bad ideas here.

sep 1, 2025, 3:19 am • 64 2 • view
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timefornow.bsky.social @timefornow.bsky.social

Rudy. "I'm not an alcoholic, and I wasn't really drinking. But I saw an alcoholic in recovery who was almost going to start drinking, and I decided to save him and drank everything in the bar. I'm a saint. You can nominate me for the Boozers Nobel Prize."

sep 1, 2025, 2:15 pm • 1 0 • view
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wallaby67.bsky.social @wallaby67.bsky.social

He say he had one drink only but it reacted to some cold medicine. Cops went to place Rudy was drinking and the cameras had broken that day. Press buys the story like morons. Restaurant owner suddenly has nice new car, and everyone blames Obama.

sep 1, 2025, 4:09 am • 59 3 • view
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Samantha Marlowe @sammarlowe.bsky.social

💀😭

sep 1, 2025, 11:55 am • 0 0 • view
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Linda Kaboolian @lindakaboolian.bsky.social

Casablanca

sep 1, 2025, 2:23 pm • 2 0 • view
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Local Resistor @projectspacetime.bsky.social

Amusing. Rudy would no more help a person in need than Taco would.

sep 1, 2025, 8:11 am • 3 0 • view
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Arkancrow @arkancrow.bsky.social

He is supposed to be broke and has a HEAD of security ? Did I miss something ?

sep 1, 2025, 11:49 am • 5 0 • view
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Midi-chlorianally Challenged Coyoty @coyoty.bsky.social

Does he have a security detail to protect him or contain him? (Yes.)

sep 1, 2025, 7:28 pm • 1 0 • view
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Cat @happywarrior.bsky.social

Was it a DUI do you know?

sep 1, 2025, 4:55 am • 1 0 • view
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holeyroller @holeyroller.bsky.social

I mean - if their intention was to convince anybody that this actually happened it was game over when they opened with Rudy was trying to do the right thing and help a citizen in need.

sep 1, 2025, 5:36 am • 13 0 • view
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Lia Vandammit @bistromath.bsky.social

Sounds like driver of Giuliani's car covering his ass. He may have been stopped at side of road when rear ended.

sep 1, 2025, 4:11 am • 0 0 • view
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David K Law @davidkeithlaw.bsky.social

So the most convoluted and least successful assassination attempt in history.

sep 1, 2025, 1:10 pm • 0 0 • view
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Jennifer 🦚 @youfoundjennifer.bsky.social

So, from what I understand from this statement… Rudy was fleeing the scene of a domestic abuse incident and he was injured when the police had to ram his car from behind to get him to stop. Right?

sep 1, 2025, 11:04 am • 6 0 • view
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Iputadollariniwinacar @iputadollarin.bsky.social

He hurt his left arm and leg by being back ended???

sep 1, 2025, 3:30 am • 7 0 • view
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Meg @marbenais.bsky.social

If he was facing sideways without a seatbelt? If he was actually the one driving and the car wasn’t rear-ended but high-speed side-swiped?

sep 1, 2025, 4:35 am • 6 1 • view
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elaine @turdhatr.bsky.social

. . . i don;t believe it . . . he was likely drunk as a skunk, and i doubt all that good samaratin shit . . .

sep 1, 2025, 1:07 pm • 1 0 • view
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Nigel Tufnel @illuminaughti.bsky.social

The first paragraph makes no sense. It doesn't belong. In fact, without it we would probably just accept the miserable fact the he survived a horrific accident. Seriously, who is stupid enough to think this was a good idea? What are they trying to get in front of?

sep 1, 2025, 4:23 am • 44 0 • view
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Wonderful Secrets @xiratho.bsky.social

The first paragraph lets us know that he got into some kind of altercation with a prostitute which led to a drunk driving crash.

sep 1, 2025, 5:25 am • 57 2 • view
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Nigel Tufnel @illuminaughti.bsky.social

That was the first thing I thought of.

sep 1, 2025, 11:48 am • 5 0 • view
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Diana Lucifera 🌟 @dianamcqueen.bsky.social

Why is the first part even part of this car accident story? He did that and supposedly left the woman with the police (bad idea) And then went along his merry way... And then got into a car accident with the truck. Why are these things mentioned together anyway? It's not like it caused the accident.

sep 1, 2025, 2:28 pm • 1 0 • view
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Diana Lucifera 🌟 @dianamcqueen.bsky.social

It sounds like he was picking up prostitutes but I don't know.

sep 1, 2025, 2:26 pm • 0 0 • view
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scoutpaint.bsky.social @scoutpaint.bsky.social

Was trump in the trunk? Asking for his floozy wife.

sep 1, 2025, 9:05 am • 0 0 • view
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Brian @brhi.bsky.social

Center justified makes anything seem suspicious.

sep 1, 2025, 6:15 am • 7 0 • view
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@imagespending.bsky.social

📌

sep 1, 2025, 5:17 am • 0 0 • view
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PF @peterfearns.bsky.social

image
sep 1, 2025, 4:39 am • 8 1 • view
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Danae Callister @dcee60.bsky.social

Weird

sep 1, 2025, 12:05 pm • 0 0 • view
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alicats121.bsky.social @alicats121.bsky.social

loose lips sink ships right

sep 1, 2025, 12:28 pm • 0 0 • view
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Ellen Enders @ellenenders.bsky.social

And have it issued by Michael Ragusa, head of security....lol wiseguys

sep 1, 2025, 11:51 am • 3 0 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

The local newspaper of record, The Union Leader, tells a somewhat different story. Odd. 🤔 www.unionleader.com/news/safety/...

sep 1, 2025, 5:34 am • 4 1 • view
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karenmj.bsky.social @karenmj.bsky.social

Why were there firefighters at a domestic violence investigation in the middle of the interstate?

sep 1, 2025, 2:03 pm • 1 0 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

I imagine they sent the fire dept. in case it also involved an actual vehicle accident with damage, leaking fluids, etc.

sep 1, 2025, 7:59 pm • 0 0 • view
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safeguard2.bsky.social @safeguard2.bsky.social

So were they chasing the 19 year old?

sep 1, 2025, 5:49 am • 0 0 • view
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(((Eddie))) @abracadocious.bsky.social

Unlikely given that they were apparently rear-ended by the 19-year-old.

sep 1, 2025, 7:00 am • 0 0 • view
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feemus.bsky.social @feemus.bsky.social

N.B.: make sure to format with center alignment

sep 1, 2025, 4:15 am • 90 0 • view
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lonelymule.bsky.social @lonelymule.bsky.social

So, there would be a record of this supposed 911 call. Or did the writing staff forget about that little plot point?

sep 1, 2025, 4:50 am • 2 0 • view
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blondthndrninja.bsky.social @blondthndrninja.bsky.social

Maybe he’ll have to wear a diaper and piss himself in a bed

sep 1, 2025, 8:50 am • 0 0 • view
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Wicky @vigeo93.bsky.social

Was he drunk again?

sep 1, 2025, 1:34 pm • 0 0 • view
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IdiocracyIsTrue @idiocracyistrue.bsky.social

He is resting comfortably with a My Pillow.

sep 1, 2025, 4:11 am • 6 1 • view
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Coldwar1.0Survivor @coldwarsurvivor.bsky.social

Where was this head of security the whole time this scene took place?

sep 1, 2025, 1:34 pm • 0 0 • view
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Smartdude @smartdude.bsky.social

I’m going to rule this as a drunken shitshow.

sep 1, 2025, 6:26 am • 3 0 • view
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The chicken lady @chickenlady.bsky.social

😂

sep 1, 2025, 11:44 am • 0 0 • view
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Aldea Brennan Plum @ldea.bsky.social

The whole first paragraph was totally unnecessary

sep 1, 2025, 11:53 am • 1 0 • view
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lovedovesf.bsky.social @lovedovesf.bsky.social

Okay, okay. How about this. He refused to pay for her services. Things got ugly, he called police to get away then her pimp rear ended him.

sep 1, 2025, 8:10 am • 20 0 • view
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Taryn Anwar, Jersey Jedi @jersey-jedi.bsky.social

sep 1, 2025, 7:35 pm • 0 0 • view
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anniemak.bsky.social @anniemak.bsky.social

The Russian mob did it. Trump knows it. He’s too scared to show his face.

sep 1, 2025, 3:21 pm • 1 0 • view
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d-l-a.bskysocial @d-l-a.bsky.social

Why are they calling him Mayor???

sep 1, 2025, 5:14 am • 2 0 • view
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Janet @janet24.bsky.social

🤣🤣🤣

sep 1, 2025, 8:12 am • 0 0 • view
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Jeffrey Field @kiribatiwriter.bsky.social

Even the press release can't help but mention 911

sep 1, 2025, 1:03 pm • 0 0 • view
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dragonfly55.bsky.social @dragonfly55.bsky.social

Drunken driving???

sep 1, 2025, 7:03 am • 0 0 • view
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It’s yer da! @bengc.bsky.social

A similar chain of events which might lead to the same outcome would be if someone was kerb crawling, solicited an undercover policewoman, tried to flee the scene and was PIT manoeuvred by pursuing officers.

sep 1, 2025, 7:14 am • 7 0 • view
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Daniel Zenon Klein @danielzklein.bsky.social

Shoulda added "do not listen to any press releases from the other Rudy Giuliani" and left it at that

sep 1, 2025, 4:16 am • 9 2 • view
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Iuka Slim @iukaslim.bsky.social

"Thank you for your inattention to this matter"

sep 1, 2025, 8:15 am • 4 0 • view
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thehamsterwrangler.bsky.social @thehamsterwrangler.bsky.social

This all sounds hinky as fuck.

sep 1, 2025, 1:55 pm • 0 0 • view
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Aurelius @parkusaurelius.bsky.social

I’m sure he wasn’t banging a family member or attempting to claim a tit while this “accident” occurred.

sep 1, 2025, 1:06 pm • 0 0 • view
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Alexis @alexis8.bsky.social

No one believes it.

sep 1, 2025, 11:47 am • 0 0 • view
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loviatar’s love @konekodesu.bsky.social

so caught in an affair and then called his personal lawyer friend after wrecking/fleeing the scene

sep 1, 2025, 5:24 am • 7 0 • view
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Nerd @berenerd.bsky.social

I like how the first part had nothing to do with the actual incident.

sep 1, 2025, 7:43 am • 4 0 • view
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100% Wool @tech108.bsky.social

Crazy that her pimp rammed Rudy.

sep 1, 2025, 5:44 am • 0 0 • view
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Keep them away from me @obliviousthari.bsky.social

Why is the head of security of a former mayor releasing his press statements?

sep 1, 2025, 9:08 am • 3 0 • view
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SMH @segdohs.bsky.social

He’s such a hot mess. Always.

sep 1, 2025, 4:58 am • 6 0 • view
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Fine Human @finehuman.bsky.social

God’s plan

sep 1, 2025, 8:24 am • 1 0 • view
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violiav.bsky.social @violiav.bsky.social

I’m glad it’s not just me lol

sep 1, 2025, 4:07 am • 0 0 • view
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Marianne @bluecat-ladyla.bsky.social

And alcohol definitely was not involved!

sep 1, 2025, 2:50 pm • 0 0 • view
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shankspeare.bsky.social @shankspeare.bsky.social

Very "the fuck what?" Vibes.

sep 1, 2025, 12:18 pm • 0 0 • view
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b'Airely Sane @linwetzel.bsky.social

Sounds like the boyfriend didn't like Rudy's assistance. Oh, there's more to this story! Presser at 4 Seasons, stay tuned!

sep 1, 2025, 12:49 pm • 1 0 • view
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John Robinson @hannibalv.bsky.social

The zombified shell of EW put this (I think intentionally) hilarious headline on their story of the incident:

Photograph of Rudy Giuliani with the headline
sep 1, 2025, 6:37 pm • 0 0 • view
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Kurt Ronn @kronn.bsky.social

Caught with a sex worker because he can’t get a date. Beat up for not paying. And hit by truck when fleeing the scene. His team showed up to cover up the debacle. And doubt spineless people can have spine injuries. Or like they said…

sep 1, 2025, 6:26 pm • 0 0 • view
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Ms M @jamplainchic.bsky.social

😂😂😂 Best laugh of the day!!

sep 1, 2025, 4:30 pm • 0 0 • view
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jedigal007.bsky.social @jedigal007.bsky.social

Lucky he has “insurance”

sep 1, 2025, 12:09 pm • 1 0 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

lol ' Giuliani's official statement.. where's the police report..

sep 1, 2025, 5:03 am • 2 0 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

www.unionleader.com/news/safety/...

sep 1, 2025, 5:35 am • 4 1 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

PR guy: Rudy's a hero who rendered aid on I-93. Reality: Police/fire responding to incident on 93S, 10PM. Female runs across to 93N, waving for help. Rudy is passenger in car that stops; he or driver call 911. (Guess: they stopped in passing lane, near divider) Car gets rear ended by 19YO driver.

sep 1, 2025, 6:22 pm • 1 1 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

Ty👍🏼 honestly I thought it was more nefarious than that..

sep 1, 2025, 7:07 pm • 1 0 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

So did I, with the weird "official statement." I live in the region and drive that stretch of interstate, so it set me to digging for the local reporting. Vague details and painting him as heroic? Stupid. Just state the factual timeline. (Nah, too easy.)

sep 1, 2025, 8:12 pm • 1 1 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

💯 why won't these guys just knock off 🪦 like regular peeps🙄.. Rudy's probably too pickled.. sigh⏰

sep 1, 2025, 9:00 pm • 0 0 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

Coverage from the local TV station: www.wmur.com/article/rudy...

sep 1, 2025, 6:11 pm • 1 1 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

This is the NH State Police news release. www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...

sep 1, 2025, 6:07 pm • 1 1 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

Ty.. 👍🏼 archive.ph/JOQ20

sep 1, 2025, 5:44 am • 1 0 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

Doesn't make sense.. what car was Rudy in? a 3rd car? or with one of the other 2? Deliberately vague imo.. likely up to no good & cops helping to cover up..?

sep 1, 2025, 5:49 am • 1 1 • view
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The Nerdy Lawyer @nerdylawyer.bsky.social

He was "a passenger in one of the vehicles." The report doesn't clarify which one.

sep 1, 2025, 12:12 pm • 1 0 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

I missed the part where he was a passenger.. a very convoluted story at best.. some random female flags Rudy down so he can be a hero in this like;y sordid story🥱

sep 1, 2025, 5:47 pm • 1 0 • view
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But I don't WANNA live in Gilead! @sweptashorejo.bsky.social

Yeah... no. No heroism. Just stupid exaggeration of a pretty straightforward highway accident where he was a passenger and may have been the caller to 911.

sep 1, 2025, 6:29 pm • 1 1 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

Yep.. these fkrs/clowns won't stop til they're dead.. clearly🙄

sep 1, 2025, 7:03 pm • 0 0 • view
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Andie @alannaeowyn.bsky.social

Considering it specifies he was a passenger, my read is that Theodore Goodman of Michigan was his driver.

sep 1, 2025, 12:07 pm • 2 0 • view
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gmarie55🍁📎🇺🇦🇬🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 NAFO Fella #NastyCanadian 🇨🇦🦫 @gmarie55.bsky.social

Ty.. I missed the passenger part..

sep 1, 2025, 5:48 pm • 2 0 • view
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brickbat @brickbat.bsky.social

Likely case: - Rubbernecking to see disturbance in opposite traffic lanes. - Slow down - Rear ended by following vehicle. - Make up beneficial story. - Issue bogus "Official" report.

sep 1, 2025, 1:20 pm • 5 0 • view
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SukItUpButtercup 🇨🇦 ♓ @sukitupbuttercup.bsky.social

Why did they feel the need to explain what happened before the accident? Over doing a story is a sure sign of a lie. Or are they trying to say the domestic violence victim's abuser chased him and ran him off the road?

sep 1, 2025, 11:50 am • 11 0 • view
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cactus297.bsky.social @cactus297.bsky.social

How did the first part of this story have anything to do with the actual accident? Are they trying to make him less hated?

sep 1, 2025, 8:46 am • 0 0 • view
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marktacular @mark.tacular.social

The funny part is they knew they needed a cover for the rambling 911 call that would eventually be released. Betting it will end up Rudy SA’d a woman and started weaving this lie when she subsequently ran him over.

sep 1, 2025, 3:54 am • 96 10 • view
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Kate Phyre @katephyre.bsky.social

👆

sep 1, 2025, 7:52 am • 0 0 • view
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James @thasceles.bsky.social

That's depressingly credible. Alternatively, he refused to pay a sex worker and either she or her pimp chased him. Let's face it - either of those are exponentially more believable.

sep 1, 2025, 8:32 am • 10 0 • view
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gtgnow @gtgnow.bsky.social

🎯

sep 1, 2025, 11:03 am • 0 0 • view
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Aaron "Ayayron" Kitzmiller @ayayronk.bsky.social

This is it

sep 1, 2025, 12:44 pm • 1 0 • view
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Cabin Loon @cabinloon.bsky.social

Oh I like your version. That fits.

sep 1, 2025, 4:01 am • 27 0 • view
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♣️TotsAndPears🍌 @herrari.bsky.social

Me too.

sep 1, 2025, 4:59 am • 7 0 • view
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Mike @bikeymikey70.bsky.social

sep 1, 2025, 10:43 am • 3 0 • view
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Susan @rinative.bsky.social

He could have just said, Giuliani got karma. That I believe

sep 1, 2025, 9:42 am • 0 0 • view
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Maceo Vive @maceovive.bsky.social

TOTAL BULLSHIT

sep 1, 2025, 4:47 am • 1 0 • view
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Scott Centoni @scottcentoni.bsky.social

Four Seasons Total Bullshit

sep 1, 2025, 8:52 am • 3 1 • view
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Maceo Vive @maceovive.bsky.social

Sounds like he’s covering up entering the woman’s house, laying in the woman’s bed and repositioning his limpness.

sep 1, 2025, 4:43 am • 4 0 • view
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Kevin Bennett @kbkev.bsky.social

Oh, but that's unfair. His past victims have made it very clear he jacks himself up on viagra to maximize the misery he's able to inflict...

sep 1, 2025, 7:26 am • 3 0 • view
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Maceo Vive @maceovive.bsky.social

Not nice, Kevin. C’mon we’re talking Murica’s Mayjah!

sep 1, 2025, 4:13 pm • 0 0 • view
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balls-balls.bsky.social @balls-balls.bsky.social

“Business partner” is there to try to figure out how to keep his estate from going to his victims and keep it for his scumbag son

sep 1, 2025, 12:59 pm • 3 0 • view
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guido-is-myname.bsky.social @guido-is-myname.bsky.social

So he does have money….security, car, private doctor etc

sep 1, 2025, 1:04 pm • 1 0 • view
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Barron W. Tramp @barronwtramp.bsky.social

I'm so poor i have a press rep and a head of security

sep 1, 2025, 5:24 am • 8 0 • view