They left out the part about how he was leaving a meeting to try to solve world hunger before he was flagged down by the woman. Important detail to note about Rudy’s selflessness.
They left out the part about how he was leaving a meeting to try to solve world hunger before he was flagged down by the woman. Important detail to note about Rudy’s selflessness.
Extra credit: work in Streisand Effect and game theory. Wrong answers only.
Is "business partner and medical provider" one person or two people?
😆❤️😆
Okay, so it *wasn’t* just me.
so a dui perhaps?
The woman he was helping:
His business partner and medical provider showed up. How bad do you have to be at life that those are the only ppl that show up to see him in the hospital? Does anyone know if he came out the vehicle already wearing a neck brace????
Two people or one? Was it a caretaker with power of attorney?
Does anyone remember the time someone slapped Giuliani on the back and he had the guy arrested for assault? Giuliani said the feeling was like ‘being shot or struck with a boulder’. So maybe he’s not hurt that badly, just scraped his backside on an empty Pepsi can or something..
Someone on BlueSky said it before me, so I’ll concur; whatever it was that went down, it wasn’t that.
The whole deal has an Eddie Murphy “Good Samaritan” vibe to it.
So, even if we take the first part as true, it has nothing to do with the accident itself.
So Just After He Was Cruising The Avenue Trolling For Hookers ... His Car Was Struck & Now He's In the Hospital. Got It. Pots and Chairs Guy. Pots and Chairs.
Couple questions: Was Melania in NH? Was Ghislaine on work release that day?
How does a broke old goober like Rudy have a head of security and business partner? Pay your judgements ya' cheapskate.
He gets bankrolled by the "Keep your damn mouth shut about Epstein" bros.
A few weeks ago, Rudy said on a podcast that he doesn't think epstein was suicide.
The articles make it look like the guy or gal who tried to kill him, will get away with it. the Luigi argument is real.
"a fractured thoracic vertebrae" makes no sense. "Vertebra" is singular; "vertebrae" is plural. Oh--and in addition, nothing else in this statement makes any sense at all.
So the suggestion is that Giuliani earned the wrath of an enraged husband, who rear-ended his car in revenge. How did the husband know who came to his wife's aid? And how did he track Giuliani down (in transit)? And how did Giuliani know that the rear-ender was connected to the other incident?
Did he get drunk and fall down some stairs?
they had the whole response team gathered at four seasons total landscaping headquarters to get this written stat
That was legit my favorite memory of him. Standing in front of that garage with black hairspray melting on his face. What an embarrassment.
The one where he farted in court was good. And the one where he realises he's wearing two watches.
They’re here for you: bsky.app/profile/gtco...
That’s fantastic
I imagine the best thing the "Mayor" could do is ride off into the sunset.
It reminds me a lot of the Big Balls "I was saving a woman from a gang of violent men" story and that's probably not an accident.
I had just finished saving a baby raccoon from drowning when, unrelatedly, a piano fell on my head, but chill out, I'm fine (disregard all future press releases claiming the contrary).
I had just rescued a cat from a tree when I was clipped by a truck skateboarding home. My lawyer and drug dealer arrived at the urgent care immediately to oversee my care. This is the only statement authorized by Mayor McCheese. Signed, Lurch. What is everyone not getting??
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
That's crazy – he can still afford security??
This sounds like something out of a Carl Hiaasen novel.
The driver who rear-ended him was probably wrestling their pet boa at the time of the alleged collision, as the 14 footer was in a jealous fury over him spending time with an albino cornsnake.
If ever there was a guy who if real we could turn loose on these people it’d be Skink. I mean, he’s already in FLA, too. :)
Sometimes storytelling works for a while, but the truth has a way of coming out: www.seattletimes.com/nation-world...
Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to "FoxGPT". Type in your request and out will spew right-wing, conspiracy-addled pablum.
Is it customary in instances like this to include a paragraph about the totally unrelated actions a person may (or may not) have been involved in prior to an accident?
That's what I wondered. Weird
The least believable part of the press release is that he got out of his car to help someone else, frankly. Beyond that, if any of this has any shred of truth to it (it doesn't), there should be body cam footage from when the cops pulled up to him at the DV stop.
The police report www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med... says the crash happened on the opposite side of the freeway as the domestic violence incident that POLICE — not RG and co.— were investigating.
In other words... Trying to get ahead of what seems more likely to turn out to be NOT favorable behavior, prior to the accident, by the old man with a stinky history of personal behavior.
Yep. Mayor shirt-tucker makes *my* skin crawl. I can't imagine how women feel, just at the mention of the slithering creep. Guarantee you're right. We will find out more, and we will wish we didn't have to know it. Ew.
Either that or he's flat ass broke and is gonna try to gift a gofundme.
*grift
It’s not standard to centre/center paragraphs in documents like this. A hoax?
Sounds like he’s trying to get out ahead of a story? That first paragraph is totally in unnecessary unless he’s trying to cover for something.
You know he was buzzed up, he's trying to avoid the OVI.
It does read like a Trump level lawyer wrote it.
And then I totally beat up her husband and she came home with me and we got married and...
The press release (which are not written by the press) is putting a lot of weight on the lapsed title "Mayor" to support a positive spin. They use it several times to bear a load.
Alex, I’ll take “Things That Never Happened” for $1000
What does the domestic incident have to do with his accident?
He knows things and message sent
Mayor Giuliani collided with an elephant in his pajamas. How the elephant got in his pajamas he'll never know.
You are my hero.
(Cop, writing everything down) "OK, Mr. Giuliuani... do you remember what color the elephant was?".
Let's all be honest now - this is the kind of thing that has happened to many of us!
I wonder if the "head of security" will include this on his résumé. Hire me! I can protect you!
he asked Pirro to write it?
It’s …bizarre as hell
Giuliani definitely refused to pay a sex worker.
And what this doesn't say is that the supposed "domestic violence victim" was on the *opposite* side of the highway (southbound vs. northbound side of I-93). The local "news" station also posted this silly explanation BEFORE they even posted the article that there was a wreck. Very fishy.
Level 4: Are you telling me Giuliani still has money for private security and a physician who drops everything to travel to New Hampshire?
His physician is the guy who writes his prescriptions. He showed up at the hospital to half inch another prescription pad
So he was traveling on a highway, i.e. not stopped at a light, when he was struck from behind at high speed, by a driver he didn't see coming in his rear view mirror, and who must not have slowed down much before rear-ending him. They looked at his rear bumper and said "Time to crash. Floor it."
Pulled out into traffic in front of a 19yo driver, got rear ended.
… I might have to assign this
My friend I beg you don't ignore me my family is dying of hunger in northern Gaza suffering from acute malnutrition please a quote from you will save the life of my family of 8 who did not eat I swear💔🙏💔😢🙏
"Your honor, my client had spent the day of the incident doing laundry and chores for an elderly dementia patient, waited until she had finished the creamy parmesan risotto he cooked for her, headed out to his teen advocacy meeting, and then--KAPOW! he was smacked by a Ford Pinto at ramming speed."
"Struck by a Ford Pinto"--chef's kiss.
Imagine the drafts he scrapped....
Liars always expound on their lie.
FORMER Mayor Giuliani. We’re still having bad dreams ...
Mayor Giuliani was picking up puppies from Kristi Noem's vacation home in NH, and when he stopped to donate one of the puppies to an orphanage, a moose charged his car from the woods and rammed the door. The Mayor escaped through the broken windows on the other side but his clothes were torn.
EMS arrived to find him being tended to in his underwear by a 15 year old orphan girl he was bringing the donated puppy too. His lawyer and his accountant had rushed to the scene and accompanied him to the hospital in the ambulance.
So that’s why he wasn’t wearing pants.
According to the police report... police were ALREADY WORKING the domestic violence scene and watched Rudy's accident happen.
Probably drunk and fell asleep on the highway.
It is not ChatGPTs best work
They needed to add that a Ford Bronco was involved. Kinda rounds out the story.
Drinking and driving most likely?
Signed,
My “there’s nothing suspicious going on” T-shirt…
“$100 for things that never happened, Alex.”
So, there's a record of the 911 call then, right? It's not just a (likely irrelevant) story inspired by a country song? And medical records will prove he was completely sober when the accident occurred, right?
Oh, that's a good theory. If it was inspired by a Garth Brooks song, she caught him cheating, and was driving the other vehicle at the time of the collision. 🎵 She never hit the brakes, and she was shiftin' gear. 🎶
There's actually a more recent song ("Wait In The Truck") I was thinking about. Either way, the story sounds fishy. Or maybe it's just that he's a liar and I don't trust anything he says, especially when he's making himself out to be a hero.
youtu.be/f0G7F81LTZw
Rudy: 1. The 911 recording has me screaming about being spanked by Trixie the Dominatrix, but I was actually calling for her & complaining about how she had suffered domestic abuse. 2. One of those stray dildos from the warehouse near Four Seasons somehow got up inside my you know what. 3. MAGAt!
Rudy: 1. I was saving Western Civilization & defending the greatest president in world history. 2. Somehow my pants fell down. 3. While trying to pull them up, woke Democrats forced 3 gallons of cheap red wine into my mouth (& also some mood enhancers). Ignore the topless big boobed woman.
On that level, a masterwork.
It’s a great cold open.
Painting Giuliani as a knight in shining armor is hard to swallow. Stopping on an interstate is dangerous. Parking on an interstate is illegal. He caused this accident regardless of the reason. The explanation given is difficult to believe. If true, he made dangerous decisions causing injuries.
Prior to the car crashing while my pants were around my ankles, I made an appointment with an underage girl who desperately needed the mentoring and guidance of a mature man. Any statements to the contrary are the lies from my enemies, and I will be changing lawyers soon bc of nonpayment.
Let’s just say IF someone’s inebriation WERE to come out later - what COULD we suggest IN ADVANCE that might somehow neutralize it. Anybody? No bad ideas here.
Rudy. "I'm not an alcoholic, and I wasn't really drinking. But I saw an alcoholic in recovery who was almost going to start drinking, and I decided to save him and drank everything in the bar. I'm a saint. You can nominate me for the Boozers Nobel Prize."
He say he had one drink only but it reacted to some cold medicine. Cops went to place Rudy was drinking and the cameras had broken that day. Press buys the story like morons. Restaurant owner suddenly has nice new car, and everyone blames Obama.
💀😭
Casablanca
Amusing. Rudy would no more help a person in need than Taco would.
He is supposed to be broke and has a HEAD of security ? Did I miss something ?
Does he have a security detail to protect him or contain him? (Yes.)
Was it a DUI do you know?
I mean - if their intention was to convince anybody that this actually happened it was game over when they opened with Rudy was trying to do the right thing and help a citizen in need.
Sounds like driver of Giuliani's car covering his ass. He may have been stopped at side of road when rear ended.
So the most convoluted and least successful assassination attempt in history.
So, from what I understand from this statement… Rudy was fleeing the scene of a domestic abuse incident and he was injured when the police had to ram his car from behind to get him to stop. Right?
He hurt his left arm and leg by being back ended???
If he was facing sideways without a seatbelt? If he was actually the one driving and the car wasn’t rear-ended but high-speed side-swiped?
. . . i don;t believe it . . . he was likely drunk as a skunk, and i doubt all that good samaratin shit . . .
The first paragraph makes no sense. It doesn't belong. In fact, without it we would probably just accept the miserable fact the he survived a horrific accident. Seriously, who is stupid enough to think this was a good idea? What are they trying to get in front of?
The first paragraph lets us know that he got into some kind of altercation with a prostitute which led to a drunk driving crash.
That was the first thing I thought of.
Why is the first part even part of this car accident story? He did that and supposedly left the woman with the police (bad idea) And then went along his merry way... And then got into a car accident with the truck. Why are these things mentioned together anyway? It's not like it caused the accident.
It sounds like he was picking up prostitutes but I don't know.
Was trump in the trunk? Asking for his floozy wife.
Center justified makes anything seem suspicious.
📌
Weird
loose lips sink ships right
And have it issued by Michael Ragusa, head of security....lol wiseguys
The local newspaper of record, The Union Leader, tells a somewhat different story. Odd. 🤔 www.unionleader.com/news/safety/...
Why were there firefighters at a domestic violence investigation in the middle of the interstate?
I imagine they sent the fire dept. in case it also involved an actual vehicle accident with damage, leaking fluids, etc.
So were they chasing the 19 year old?
Unlikely given that they were apparently rear-ended by the 19-year-old.
N.B.: make sure to format with center alignment
So, there would be a record of this supposed 911 call. Or did the writing staff forget about that little plot point?
Maybe he’ll have to wear a diaper and piss himself in a bed
Was he drunk again?
He is resting comfortably with a My Pillow.
Where was this head of security the whole time this scene took place?
I’m going to rule this as a drunken shitshow.
😂
The whole first paragraph was totally unnecessary
Okay, okay. How about this. He refused to pay for her services. Things got ugly, he called police to get away then her pimp rear ended him.
The Russian mob did it. Trump knows it. He’s too scared to show his face.
Why are they calling him Mayor???
🤣🤣🤣
Even the press release can't help but mention 911
Drunken driving???
A similar chain of events which might lead to the same outcome would be if someone was kerb crawling, solicited an undercover policewoman, tried to flee the scene and was PIT manoeuvred by pursuing officers.
Shoulda added "do not listen to any press releases from the other Rudy Giuliani" and left it at that
"Thank you for your inattention to this matter"
This all sounds hinky as fuck.
I’m sure he wasn’t banging a family member or attempting to claim a tit while this “accident” occurred.
No one believes it.
so caught in an affair and then called his personal lawyer friend after wrecking/fleeing the scene
I like how the first part had nothing to do with the actual incident.
Crazy that her pimp rammed Rudy.
Why is the head of security of a former mayor releasing his press statements?
He’s such a hot mess. Always.
God’s plan
I’m glad it’s not just me lol
And alcohol definitely was not involved!
Very "the fuck what?" Vibes.
Sounds like the boyfriend didn't like Rudy's assistance. Oh, there's more to this story! Presser at 4 Seasons, stay tuned!
The zombified shell of EW put this (I think intentionally) hilarious headline on their story of the incident:
Caught with a sex worker because he can’t get a date. Beat up for not paying. And hit by truck when fleeing the scene. His team showed up to cover up the debacle. And doubt spineless people can have spine injuries. Or like they said…
😂😂😂 Best laugh of the day!!
Lucky he has “insurance”
lol ' Giuliani's official statement.. where's the police report..
www.unionleader.com/news/safety/...
PR guy: Rudy's a hero who rendered aid on I-93. Reality: Police/fire responding to incident on 93S, 10PM. Female runs across to 93N, waving for help. Rudy is passenger in car that stops; he or driver call 911. (Guess: they stopped in passing lane, near divider) Car gets rear ended by 19YO driver.
Ty👍🏼 honestly I thought it was more nefarious than that..
So did I, with the weird "official statement." I live in the region and drive that stretch of interstate, so it set me to digging for the local reporting. Vague details and painting him as heroic? Stupid. Just state the factual timeline. (Nah, too easy.)
💯 why won't these guys just knock off 🪦 like regular peeps🙄.. Rudy's probably too pickled.. sigh⏰
Coverage from the local TV station: www.wmur.com/article/rudy...
This is the NH State Police news release. www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...
Ty.. 👍🏼 archive.ph/JOQ20
Doesn't make sense.. what car was Rudy in? a 3rd car? or with one of the other 2? Deliberately vague imo.. likely up to no good & cops helping to cover up..?
He was "a passenger in one of the vehicles." The report doesn't clarify which one.
I missed the part where he was a passenger.. a very convoluted story at best.. some random female flags Rudy down so he can be a hero in this like;y sordid story🥱
Yeah... no. No heroism. Just stupid exaggeration of a pretty straightforward highway accident where he was a passenger and may have been the caller to 911.
Yep.. these fkrs/clowns won't stop til they're dead.. clearly🙄
Considering it specifies he was a passenger, my read is that Theodore Goodman of Michigan was his driver.
Ty.. I missed the passenger part..
Likely case: - Rubbernecking to see disturbance in opposite traffic lanes. - Slow down - Rear ended by following vehicle. - Make up beneficial story. - Issue bogus "Official" report.
Why did they feel the need to explain what happened before the accident? Over doing a story is a sure sign of a lie. Or are they trying to say the domestic violence victim's abuser chased him and ran him off the road?
How did the first part of this story have anything to do with the actual accident? Are they trying to make him less hated?
The funny part is they knew they needed a cover for the rambling 911 call that would eventually be released. Betting it will end up Rudy SA’d a woman and started weaving this lie when she subsequently ran him over.
👆
That's depressingly credible. Alternatively, he refused to pay a sex worker and either she or her pimp chased him. Let's face it - either of those are exponentially more believable.
🎯
This is it
Oh I like your version. That fits.
Me too.
He could have just said, Giuliani got karma. That I believe
TOTAL BULLSHIT
Four Seasons Total Bullshit
Sounds like he’s covering up entering the woman’s house, laying in the woman’s bed and repositioning his limpness.
Oh, but that's unfair. His past victims have made it very clear he jacks himself up on viagra to maximize the misery he's able to inflict...
Not nice, Kevin. C’mon we’re talking Murica’s Mayjah!
“Business partner” is there to try to figure out how to keep his estate from going to his victims and keep it for his scumbag son
So he does have money….security, car, private doctor etc
I'm so poor i have a press rep and a head of security