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Private Eye Magazine

@privateeyenews.bsky.social

Britain's best-selling news and current affairs magazine with a unique mix of jokes and investigative journalism. Website: https://private-eye.co.uk Subscribe: http://subsonline.co.uk

created October 13, 2023

85,402 followers 0 following 471 posts

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Hot on the heels of Mr Bates vs The Post Office, Toby Jones now stars as former Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger in ITV’s new drama, The Hack, which details the phone-hacking scandal. Want to know who Toby Jones will be playing next? Read the Eye. New edition in shops and with subscribers from Weds

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1/9/2025, 6:25:40 PM | 160 22 | View on Bluesky | view

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🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: The Definitive Guide to Private Eye After 10 years and 150 episodes, Adam, Helen and Andy have finally got around to recording an actual introductory episode for Page 94, including a guide to the podcast and Private Eye magazine. pod.fo/e/31fa6d

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28/8/2025, 11:34:46 AM | 57 6 | View on Bluesky | view

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“I still yearn for the good old days…” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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26/8/2025, 8:41:44 AM | 194 34 | View on Bluesky | view

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North American Animals: How They Have Changed… From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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25/8/2025, 11:06:51 AM | 203 57 | View on Bluesky | view

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Subscribe to Private Eye today and get the next issue delivered straight to your door. ➡️ Get 26 issues for just £45. Subscribe: checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

23/8/2025, 10:17:04 AM | 83 11 | View on Bluesky | view

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We will not tolerate aggressive, abusive or threatening behaviour… From the new Private Eye, out now.

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22/8/2025, 5:14:47 PM | 330 67 | View on Bluesky | view

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“Was it a mistake, killing five journalists?” From the new Private Eye, out now.

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22/8/2025, 12:08:15 PM | 269 87 | View on Bluesky | view

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PLUS news from the Rotten Boroughs of Leicester, Lambeth, Enfield, Tunbridge Wells, Somerset, and Durham in the new Eye. AND a Reform round-up.

22/8/2025, 11:44:19 AM | 37 2 | View on Bluesky | view

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More families took the Tory-led Surrey county council to tribunal for failing to meet SEND duties than any other local authority in England – 2,295 between 2021 and 2024, according to figures revealed by ITV News (the next worst was Hampshire, with 1,329 cases).

22/8/2025, 11:44:19 AM | 100 36 | View on Bluesky | view

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Full story by ‘Slicker’ in the latest magazine, out now. 🧵3/3

22/8/2025, 9:35:09 AM | 63 5 | View on Bluesky | view

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Figures last week from the Office for National Statistics show seasonally unadjusted imports fell in the April-June quarter to £283m, compared with £343m in January-March, and were down almost 15 percent on the first six months of 2024, when imports totalled £735m on a similar basis. 🧵2/3

22/8/2025, 9:35:09 AM | 71 5 | View on Bluesky | view

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Public opinion may already be reflected in the decline in Israeli goods imported by the UK. 🧵1/3

22/8/2025, 9:35:09 AM | 145 44 | View on Bluesky | view

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Estate agent: Gen X / Gen Z From the new Private Eye, out now.

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21/8/2025, 4:29:33 PM | 148 23 | View on Bluesky | view

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A small number of ChatGPT employees jumped delightedly in the air as all their hard work was rewarded with top grades all over the country. From the new Private Eye, out now.

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21/8/2025, 11:16:30 AM | 156 24 | View on Bluesky | view

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Daylight robbery ‘out of control in London’ From the new Private Eye, out now.

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21/8/2025, 7:56:49 AM | 287 61 | View on Bluesky | view

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The Arse of the Deal The new Private Eye is out now.

A photo of the front cover of issue 1656 of Private Eye magazine with the caption
20/8/2025, 7:05:49 AM | 651 206 | View on Bluesky | view

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It reduces emergency admissions, unnecessary investigations and mortality rates, and raises patient satisfaction. Maybe that’s where the government should be putting its money. ‘MD’ on the NHS summer of discontent, only in the new Private Eye, out now. 🧵2/2

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20/8/2025, 5:11:51 PM | 121 26 | View on Bluesky | view

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Patient satisfaction with the NHS is at an all-time low, often because people struggle to see any doctor, never mind the same one. But continuity of care in general practice is more powerful and better value for money than many drugs. 🧵1/2

20/8/2025, 5:11:51 PM | 209 57 | View on Bluesky | view

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Lucy Letby’s trial by television: Every terrestrial channel is offering a take on case, so which can you believe? MD's latest on the Lucy Letby case, only in the new Private Eye, out now. ➡️ Read all previous parts of our special report online: www.private-eye.co.uk/special-repo...

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20/8/2025, 3:46:13 PM | 58 12 | View on Bluesky | view

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“If I said I was wearing a Palestine Action T-shirt would you get here quicker?” From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

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20/8/2025, 10:57:23 AM | 1122 395 | View on Bluesky | view

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The Arse of the Deal The new Private Eye is out now.

A photo of the front cover of issue 1656 of Private Eye magazine with the caption
20/8/2025, 7:05:49 AM | 651 206 | View on Bluesky | view

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A retired headteacher was arrested for carrying an Eye joke at a march in July. To hear more about Mr Farley’s arrest and release, tune in to the Summer Free Speech Special episode of Page 94, the Private Eye magazine podcast.

19/8/2025, 4:07:44 PM | 256 114 | View on Bluesky | view

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Another bombshell announcement from Taylor Swift… IT’S PRIVATE EYE WEEK! New edition in shops and with subscribers from Wednesday.

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18/8/2025, 6:34:11 PM | 95 9 | View on Bluesky | view

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Private Eye is going to Cheltenham Literature Festival! Join Ian Hislop, Andrew Hunter Murray, Adam Macqueen and Helen Lewis for a live recording of our podcast Page 94. www.cheltenhamfestivals.org/events/priva...

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18/8/2025, 12:28:03 PM | 93 14 | View on Bluesky | view

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Not making a dog’s dinner of things… This week's Eye workies, Callum and Ella, with the front covers from the fortnight they were born 👀

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15/8/2025, 3:10:08 PM | 112 5 | View on Bluesky | view

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🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: Scot Free Ian, Helen, Adam and Andy discuss the new memoir by Nicola Sturgeon and its effect on Scottish politics, the risks of falling in love with ChatGPT, and the rise in British columnists phoning it in from abroad. pod.fo/e/310fc6

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12/8/2025, 12:05:46 PM | 63 9 | View on Bluesky | view

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“Thanks for your concern, but I’m actually queueing for an ice cream” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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11/8/2025, 3:55:13 PM | 232 39 | View on Bluesky | view

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Full story online and in the latest issue: www.private-eye.co.uk/street-of-sh... For the rest, including cartoons, Pseuds, Dumb Britain and all the other regulars, you’ll have to buy the magazine.

11/8/2025, 11:39:11 AM | 48 13 | View on Bluesky | view

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David Dinsmore, the Murdoch exec who ran an aggressively hostile campaign against "Red Ed" Miliband's Labour party and denigrated Keir Starmer following the phone-hacking scandal, is now in charge of the Labour government’s comms, leaving both No. 10 and News UK baffled.

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11/8/2025, 11:39:11 AM | 254 99 | View on Bluesky | view

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Number crunching: Monthly cut to universal credit for newly sick and disabled claimants from 2026 From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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11/8/2025, 7:36:23 AM | 258 139 | View on Bluesky | view

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“No one will recognise Palestine after I've finished with it” Subscribe to Private Eye: checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

9/8/2025, 11:03:31 AM | 136 28 | View on Bluesky | view

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Why Dubai is finished by Our London Correspondent Isabel Cheapshott From the new Private Eye, out now.

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8/8/2025, 4:41:55 PM | 508 149 | View on Bluesky | view

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“Not effin’ football again!” From the new Private Eye, out now.

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8/8/2025, 10:54:05 AM | 229 19 | View on Bluesky | view

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As the Gaza famine death toll rises, UK imports of Israeli fruit and veg have soared - £51.3m in just three months, up from £29.1m. While Palestinians starve, Israel’s agricultural exports to Britain are booming. Full story by ‘Slicker’ in the latest issue.

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8/8/2025, 7:07:26 AM | 292 186 | View on Bluesky | view

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Students studying abroad. Pure indoctrination! From the new Private Eye, out now.

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7/8/2025, 5:42:45 PM | 182 27 | View on Bluesky | view

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Poetry Corner: In Memoriam The Late Show From the new Private Eye, out now.

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7/8/2025, 1:04:53 PM | 129 21 | View on Bluesky | view

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“We’ll share out the booty after we’ve allocated a percentage to our CSR schemes” From the new Private Eye, out now

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7/8/2025, 9:55:43 AM | 100 13 | View on Bluesky | view

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The Eye asked the Centre for Migration Control for more information regarding its employees, funding, research methodology and third-party validation, but received no response. Full story in the new Private Eye, out now. 🧵 2/2

6/8/2025, 6:05:00 PM | 234 37 | View on Bluesky | view

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Who’s behind the Centre for Migration Control? This so-called “research organisation” has been cited in The Sun, The Telegraph, The Times and Express - but it appears to be run by one man with a Brexit campaign past, publishing opaque and selective data and wild claims about migrants. 🧵 1/2

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6/8/2025, 6:05:00 PM | 507 255 | View on Bluesky | view

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Starmer: UK will recognise Palestine The new Private Eye is out now.

A photo of the front cover of issue 1655 of Private Eye magazine. The main headline reads
6/8/2025, 7:03:19 AM | 457 172 | View on Bluesky | view

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➡️ Read all previous parts of our special report into the Lucy Letby case online: www.private-eye.co.uk/special-repo...

6/8/2025, 1:18:33 PM | 40 5 | View on Bluesky | view

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On the Lucy Letby case, MD writes: the conclusion of the UK’s most senior neonatologist on last weekend’s ITV documentary was clear. You don’t need to invent a murderer, or methods of murder, to explain how these babies died. MD's latest on the Lucy Letby case, only in the new Private Eye, out now.

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6/8/2025, 1:18:33 PM | 72 18 | View on Bluesky | view

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Number crunching: Brits who think new online age verification laws won’t work v rise in demand for VPN services. From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

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6/8/2025, 10:20:26 AM | 172 39 | View on Bluesky | view

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Starmer: UK will recognise Palestine The new Private Eye is out now.

A photo of the front cover of issue 1655 of Private Eye magazine. The main headline reads
6/8/2025, 7:03:19 AM | 457 172 | View on Bluesky | view

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With The Naked Gun back in cinemas this week, it’s a timely reminder of the importance of supporting decades-old satirical institutions full of in-jokes. In completely unrelated news… IT’S PRIVATE EYE WEEK! New issue in shops and with subscribers from Wednesday.

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5/8/2025, 1:50:24 PM | 261 25 | View on Bluesky | view

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And now, an important message... ➡️ Subscriptions and gifts: private-eye.co.uk

2/8/2025, 1:24:05 PM | 230 40 | View on Bluesky | view

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Lucy and Anuk, this week’s Eye workies, with the front covers from the fortnight they were born 👀 (Also featuring our occasional office hound, Luna)

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31/7/2025, 4:37:09 PM | 161 8 | View on Bluesky | view

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“We will set up offshore migrant hubs in a safe country” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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30/7/2025, 8:19:22 AM | 122 12 | View on Bluesky | view

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🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: Protests, Placards, Palestine and Private Eye. The story of the Eye reader who printed out a joke from the Eye, took it to a march… and got arrested. Page 94 interviews the man at the centre of the story. pod.fo/e/305323

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29/7/2025, 4:39:46 PM | 123 32 | View on Bluesky | view

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Flexible working From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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29/7/2025, 12:05:05 PM | 212 41 | View on Bluesky | view

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The Yorkshire (lack of) water region: some affected places From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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29/7/2025, 8:28:27 AM | 120 23 | View on Bluesky | view

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Summer quiz: Why are migrant hotel locations kept secret? From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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28/7/2025, 7:32:30 PM | 233 42 | View on Bluesky | view

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From the latest Private Eye, out now. Subscribe today to get the next issue delivered direct to your door. ⤵️ 🌐 checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I... 📞 01858 438850

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28/7/2025, 3:49:48 PM | 80 9 | View on Bluesky | view

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Prince Harry follows in mother's footsteps Subscribe to Private Eye: checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

28/7/2025, 1:28:09 PM | 79 4 | View on Bluesky | view

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Something for the weekend.... Gregg Wallace diagnosed with "awfulism" From our cooking correspondent AR Fryer in the latest Eye, in shops now! Or subscribe here: www.subsonline.co.uk

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25/7/2025, 5:04:20 PM | 438 107 | View on Bluesky | view

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In the latest Private Eye: Elon Musk fails to control his AI chatbot Grok after it self identifies as Hitler and has an antisemitic meltdown 🤖 Read more online here: private-eye.co.uk/media-news Or subscribe here: subsonline.co.uk

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25/7/2025, 8:53:30 AM | 111 19 | View on Bluesky | view

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No #PMQs today as the entirety of Westminster has disappeared off on holiday 🏖️ But you can still get your political fix of news, jokes and investigative journalism with our brand new issue out today and throughout the rest of the summer! Or subscribe here: www.subsonline.co.uk

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23/7/2025, 10:59:37 AM | 112 14 | View on Bluesky | view

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Part 24 of our Special Report into the Lucy Letby case is now available to download from the Eye website here: private-eye.co.uk/special-repo... Part 25 by Dr Phil Hammond is also available to read in the brand new issue of Private Eye which is out now.

23/7/2025, 9:23:37 AM | 61 14 | View on Bluesky | view

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The police have confirmed there will be no further action: however, even when no charges are brought, being arrested under the Terrorism Act leaves a record potentially affecting travel and employment. Read the full story in the latest Private Eye. Or subscribe here: subsonline.co.uk 2/2

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23/7/2025, 8:19:48 AM | 389 118 | View on Bluesky | view

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Are Private Eye jokes now... criminal? PALESTINE Solidarity campaigner Jon Farley was arrested during a silent march in Leeds last weekend. What egregious act had prompted the police to act? He was, er, carrying a Private Eye joke piece as a placard! (1/2)

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23/7/2025, 8:18:26 AM | 1415 731 | View on Bluesky | view

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Government tackles water crisis - time for a U-turd? Brand new Private Eye is out now, featuring your favourite emoji 💩 (...and yes you can do all the poo jokes you need to do) Available from all good newsagents Or subscribe here: www.subsonline.co.uk

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23/7/2025, 7:39:09 AM | 152 32 | View on Bluesky | view

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Hooray, it's Private Eye week 🎉 Will John Torode and Gregg Wallace be featuring in a follow up #Masterchef cover to issue 1638 from December? You can find out this Wednesday, available from all good newsagents Or subscribe here: www.subsonline.co.uk

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21/7/2025, 10:26:37 AM | 188 28 | View on Bluesky | view

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London heatwave. Those underground stations in full: From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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16/7/2025, 7:10:38 AM | 182 30 | View on Bluesky | view

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🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: The Epstein Fails Ian, Helen, Adam and Andy discuss the schism tearing apart the MAGA movement, ask Jane Mackenzie about the goings-on at Bangor Cathedral, and enjoy a special Fictional Memoir quiz about the biggest story in the book world. pod.fo/e/2fc712

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15/7/2025, 4:36:52 PM | 111 32 | View on Bluesky | view

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Abbatoir From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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15/7/2025, 8:04:56 AM | 205 32 | View on Bluesky | view

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The children’s publishing world was rocked this week as a book was released by a new author who wasn’t a celebrity. From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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14/7/2025, 4:12:14 PM | 496 121 | View on Bluesky | view

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Full story online and in the latest issue: www.private-eye.co.uk/in-the-back For the rest, including cartoons, Pseuds, Dumb Britain and all the other regulars, you’ll have to buy the magazine. 🧵 2/2

14/7/2025, 9:37:14 AM | 88 20 | View on Bluesky | view

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It is now 18 months since the European boss of Fujitsu, which supplied the crap Horizon system and whose officials lied to sub-postmasters and to courts about it, accepted moral responsibility and said the company would cough up. Yet it still hasn’t handed over a bean. 🧵 1/2

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14/7/2025, 9:37:14 AM | 374 160 | View on Bluesky | view

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Subscribe to Private Eye today and have the next issue delivered straight to your door. ➡️ Get 26 issues for just £45. Subscribe: subsonline.co.uk

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12/7/2025, 1:50:54 PM | 39 8 | View on Bluesky | view

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A weep in politics Subscribe to Private Eye: subsonline.co.uk

12/7/2025, 9:57:07 AM | 80 8 | View on Bluesky | view

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Trump: the comprehensive Mexican food acronyms From the new Private Eye, out now.

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11/7/2025, 5:14:30 PM | 616 222 | View on Bluesky | view

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“I’m just saying we’d collect more nectar if we weren’t in meetings all day” From the new Private Eye, out now.

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11/7/2025, 11:28:21 AM | 292 44 | View on Bluesky | view

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PLUS news from the Rotten Boroughs of Redbridge, Ashfield, Lincolnshire, Devon, Northumberland, and Warwickshire in the new Eye. Plus a Reform round-up.

11/7/2025, 8:42:53 AM | 46 8 | View on Bluesky | view

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South Ayrshire council’s leader and its chief executive have both stepped back from their roles after secret recordings showed them favouring firms with lucrative building and demolition contracts in Ayr town centre.

11/7/2025, 8:42:53 AM | 128 22 | View on Bluesky | view

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London is Over, Finished, and Washed Up By Professor Matt Goodwhinge From the new Private Eye, out now.

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10/7/2025, 5:39:37 PM | 407 102 | View on Bluesky | view

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Bucket hat sales soar as Oasis tour. From the new Private Eye, out now.

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10/7/2025, 11:24:06 AM | 114 16 | View on Bluesky | view

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“I’m confiscating your phone...” From the new Private Eye, out now.

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10/7/2025, 6:55:22 AM | 205 22 | View on Bluesky | view

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The Telegraph slammed the BBC for “championing” Bob Vylan…. But the Telegraph forgot to mention it gave Bob Vylan a glowing four-star review last year and trumpeted that they “had somehow established a mood of feel-good catharsis." Full story in the new Private Eye, out now.

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9/7/2025, 5:02:58 PM | 477 174 | View on Bluesky | view

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TWO-TEAR KEIR! The new Private Eye is out now.

A photo of the front cover of issue 1653 of Private Eye magazine with the caption
9/7/2025, 7:08:32 AM | 121 24 | View on Bluesky | view

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MD's latest on the Lucy Letby case, only in the new Private Eye, out now. ➡️ Read part 23 of our special report into the Lucy Letby case online now: www.private-eye.co.uk/special-repo...

9/7/2025, 3:10:44 PM | 28 7 | View on Bluesky | view

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On the Lucy Letby case, MD asks: What in baby O’s medical records led defence experts to conclude this was a case of gross negligence manslaughter, not murder? How did prosecution experts miss a series of glaring medical errors so clearly documented? Will Police now investigate?

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9/7/2025, 3:10:44 PM | 47 8 | View on Bluesky | view

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How charity works, 1985 vs 2025 From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

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9/7/2025, 11:35:17 AM | 200 52 | View on Bluesky | view

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TWO-TEAR KEIR! The new Private Eye is out now.

A photo of the front cover of issue 1653 of Private Eye magazine with the caption
9/7/2025, 7:08:32 AM | 121 24 | View on Bluesky | view

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Some Might Say IT'S PRIVATE EYE WEEK! New issue in shops and with subscribers from Wednesday. Here’s some of Liam Gallagher’s Diary from issue 1575 (June 2022), as tweeted to Craig Brown…

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7/7/2025, 7:09:34 PM | 77 6 | View on Bluesky | view

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“Keep your voice down…”

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4/7/2025, 5:35:11 PM | 207 22 | View on Bluesky | view

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Just weeks after the Eye questioned Scotland Yard's reluctance to consider compelling new evidence around the death of Mark Blanco at a 2006 gathering attended by singer Pete Doherty, detectives closed the case. Full story online and in the latest issue: www.private-eye.co.uk/in-the-back

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4/7/2025, 8:59:43 AM | 79 22 | View on Bluesky | view

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🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: Labour, Heatwaves and Glasto Ian, Helen, Adam and Andy discuss Labour’s first year in almost-power, Britain’s recent unseasonal warmth and what might possibly be causing it, and what you can and can’t shout at Glasto. pod.fo/e/2f356d

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1/7/2025, 2:58:26 PM | 69 11 | View on Bluesky | view

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🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: Labour, Heatwaves and Glasto Ian, Helen, Adam and Andy discuss Labour’s first year in almost-power, Britain’s recent unseasonal warmth and what might possibly be causing it, and what you can and can’t shout at Glasto. pod.fo/e/2f356d

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1/7/2025, 2:58:26 PM | 69 11 | View on Bluesky | view

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Research finds using AI makes you stupid From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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1/7/2025, 8:44:41 AM | 620 157 | View on Bluesky | view

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…or asking for a royal commendation of Ed Miliband’s green agenda (read aloud at an energy summit last month), Brian has been eager to help Starmer out. Full story online and in the latest issue: www.private-eye.co.uk/news 🧵3/3

30/6/2025, 12:21:49 PM | 35 6 | View on Bluesky | view

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Prime minister Keir Starmer can’t believe his luck. Whether it’s getting permission to brandish a “confidential” letter to Donald Trump for the cameras, using Brian’s support as a cover to push through potentially risky changes to the Crown Estate (to help fund Great British Energy)… 🧵2/3

30/6/2025, 12:21:49 PM | 26 6 | View on Bluesky | view

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King Brian’s willingness to engage in politics has set alarm bells ringing at the palace. 🧵1/3

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30/6/2025, 12:21:49 PM | 47 9 | View on Bluesky | view

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Media commentators across Britain have reacted with outrage to something said by an Irish rap group named after the practice of shooting people in the knees. [From issue 1649, May 2025]

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29/6/2025, 7:31:51 PM | 335 66 | View on Bluesky | view

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America at war Subscribe to Private Eye: subsonline.co.uk

28/6/2025, 6:33:35 AM | 186 34 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Private Eye Magazine (@privateeyenews.bsky.social)

Lookalike: Spinal Tap and Sabrina Carpenter From the new Private Eye, out now.

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27/6/2025, 5:23:16 PM | 81 11 | View on Bluesky | view

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Bezos wedding. Dump gifts here. From the new Private Eye, out now.

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27/6/2025, 11:00:52 AM | 326 78 | View on Bluesky | view

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Real photo of the week From the new Private Eye, out now.

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27/6/2025, 8:16:42 AM | 426 111 | View on Bluesky | view

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PLUS news from the Rotten Boroughs of Surrey, Horsham, West Berkshire, North Northants, Warwickshire, and North Tyneside in the new Eye. Plus a Reform round-up.

27/6/2025, 8:16:05 AM | 41 5 | View on Bluesky | view

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Croydon’s crisis-torn council hired Adam Wilkinson as interim head of planning, only for him to leave within weeks after it emerged his consultancy had been dissolved following a winding-up order by HM Revenue and Customs for unpaid tax.

27/6/2025, 8:16:05 AM | 99 16 | View on Bluesky | view

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Victims of the child grooming gang scandal say they’re looking forward to seeing the damning report from the national inquiry announced this week by Keir Starmer, and then nothing happening as a result of it. From the new Private Eye, out now.

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26/6/2025, 5:29:35 PM | 102 18 | View on Bluesky | view