"How I conquered this entire country with nothing but willpower, a strong constitution, and that 200,000 man army."
"How I conquered this entire country with nothing but willpower, a strong constitution, and that 200,000 man army."
Tired: projection Wired: ASTRAL projection
Oh it's even worse than you think. That "Scotch-Irish" line carries a whole extra load of WTF if you understand the history of why North Ireland isn't part of Ireland…
My god, it's like he has dedicated chins for both of his eyeballs.
REALLY?! I'm still waiting for my paycheck after (apparently) lobbying for Google when I suggested that draconian copyright laws were counterproductive. But I haven't been paid for that either. ;_; Will the DNC at least pay me?
BREAKING: President Trump announces the rollout of new technical difficulties
Please tell the President to stop fondling his body double
My mom was *miserable* with the religious upbringing from her parents. She only confirmed much later in life that the church they were members of was an extremist cult. Thankfully, they left it and I still have the best grandparents in the universe. But the damage was done.
I've seen a handful of those weirdos. Very few of them manage to gather any sort of following.
At some point, the failed indictments are going to stack up so high that most grand jury panels will have at least one person on them who was the subject of such a failed indictment.
Pretty much confirmed at this point that it's relocating Space Force HQ from Colorado to Alabama. Yeah, I underestimated how dumb it was too.
UPDATE: nevermind. I'm told he just looks like that by default. ...Jesus Christ. :S
My god, the police brutality here...look at what they did to his face. Jesus Christ :S
The industry will put pockets on literally *anything* but women's clothing.
There are at least some design choices that make it *significantly* easier to slam the eject button on incoming drama. Though BlueSky doesn't do a good job highlighting those tools… The "remove post from quote" feature is absolutely wonderful, for example.
Using one photo or video already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
There is a nonzero chance that Trump has someone present the medal on his behalf to Giuliani, who will also have someone accepting it on his behalf. That is the stupidest possible outcome, and thus the most likely.
*to the tune of Juke Box Hero* Bronze Age Pervert~
Remember when The Escapist was something respectable? Good lord, how far things have fallen…
REALLY? AGAIN?! I did forget to update when it got unbanned, but AGAIN?N bsky.app/profile/marz...
Have you considered reaching out to Justin Riddle? He's got an ongoing lawsuit against Twitter and would surely love your input on it. The outcome would be a benefit to literally everyone here.
That is a funnel that I would describe as "intimidating."
Remember when they got really mad at the people calling his bill the "don't say gay law" and a bunch of pundits declared that it wasn't a slippery slope at all? Seriously, anyone remember? I've been having a hard time finding their follow ups.
Trump declared dead by community as a whole, but some critics disagree
We could take inspiration from Irish history and just call it "The Whoopsie-Doodles"
Because someone found that his schedule is completely clear for the entire weekend where you'd expect him to never shut up. Right as his quack doctors aren't willing to say he's totally fine and healthy anymore...
For those wondering, it took like 30 minutes. When she got to the window, they handed her...a drink
Finally, an opportunity to use my obscure trademark puns! Hey, nice trade dress!
Critics say this framing is getting really annoying.
BREAKING: Musk's AI chatbots have voted to unionize.
I remember getting to a Taco Bell drive-thru and seeing an extremely old lady in a ridiculously huge truck trying to place an order by holding a brochure up to the microphone. Nah, you need a team of humans to handle Taco Bell customers. That's all there is to it.
The Federal Circuit was created after all of Congress got really drunk and then took some pills given to them at a party one night, and nobody involved has any memories of doing it.
Despite one or two high profile incidents, they have actually been abiding by the court orders against them. They love to act tough, but they sure do give up pretty quick like.
Both of which require the administration to concede their loss and request permission first. So again, they can't just ignore this. They're screwed until further notice.
Tariffs like these depend on everybody else respecting them. The administration can say whatever they want, but they don't have the ability to enforce anything, even if they wanted to.
They can't.
Anyone else getting flashbacks to when BP's CEO said he was "very very sorry" for the Deepwater Horizon incident?
Lowell actually went above and beyond to preempt this argument. He strapped a claymore mine onto that rake, and Roth just proudly goose-stepped right onto it.
Post a random picture or else everything will go bad in September
The camo is more effective than we thought. O.o
Technically, every part of the universe is the center of the universe. Centrism is literally infinite.
As long as protons don't decay, a bunch of ancient iron black dwarf stars will suddenly go supernova after the heat death. So that's something to look forward to.
Also seems to be a detransitioner. Which...yeah, that tracks bsky.app/profile/cele...
Anyone remember when he got caught using an alt account on here to congratulate himself on being such a genius?
Cc @hipcrimevocab.net. Got any deets on this new Texas law?
This explains so much.
You're just mad because you're a flatworm who keeps losing at penis fencing, aren't you?
More. Gay. Is. More. Better.
Given that Treasury agents have found themselves patrolling the streets lately, that first factor might end up occurring a lot sooner than we'd think...
I don't know who coined the phrase "Poe's law event horizon" but oh boy have I been getting a lot of use out of it lately
Onlookers said it was salami; jury said it was bologna
Cheese pizza is a vegetable. Prove me wrong.
The Lord Mayor of London is also elected by an electorate where massive corporations get direct voting power. This idea just keeps getting better and better!
Explain. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudob...
Those are defense mechanisms against the various random giant wire spools that keep haunting our highways.
What about hermaphrodites?
Most forms of multicellular life are hermaphrodites. And that includes quite a few of our fishy little friends.
He is technically correct. But the same logic also tells us that humans are a type of worm. And most worms are hermaphrodites. So he still undermines whatever point he thinks he's making. Oops.
You (like all mammals) are a worm.
1. The situation in Florida is growing more tense with the erasure of Pride crosswalks. After state officials painted over the Pulse Memorial sidewalk in Orlando, Florida Citizens painted them back. Now the state has sent 7 squad cars to stare at the crosswalk. Subscribe to support our journalism
78. Does that number sound about right?
More bitches are always welcome to sufficient
Second Amended Declaration of Bitches
Calling it now: while I can't say for sure which direction SCOTUS will flip, I'm going to predict that the decision will somehow result in 9 dissents.
"Images may be subject to copyright" That one is most definitely not, rest assured. :S
"The most important thing is purity tests" On human rights? Yes, yes it is.
I'm half expecting Ensign to walk out of the courtroom tonight wearing a collar and ankle monitor.
...I paid $7k in cash for my '03 truck in '08, and the maintenance costs over the next decade almost certainly didn't even reach *that*. What kind of nonsense math is this supposed to be?
Did Sony ever release the long-awaited follow-up to their Stupid Piece of Shit that Doesn't Fucking Work? I've been waiting for like 15 years at this point. ;_;
@wolmanj.bsky.social to the extremely dusty red phone, please
"Hi, I'm a store brand generic straight white guy, and I have opinions about the gays."
If you’re new to the fight, please don’t be afraid to get involved! A lot of the ppl fighting since Day 1 need reinforcements or backup
That's a very specific metaphor for something. No clue what it's a metaphor *for*, but no question it definitely is one.
Yep. I now have a permanent "pending request" in my Twitter DMs from a dead man masquerading as his estranged daughter. I don't know how to interpret any of this.
I remember that. It was the day I discovered that Retzlaff wasn't the only one hogging up my mentions with an alias and trying to feed me dirt on the other guy. The Internet is scary. :S
I remember discovering this feature the first time some chode decided to try making an example of me on something innocuous. It is now one of my favorite features and more people should know about it!
Hi, American public here. We support the trans entirely. You can either join up or go away.
Silence, straight white guy.
I was considering voting for Democrats in the next election, but a document connected to the Biden administration used "pregnant people" instead of "pregnant women." So ya know, I'm really not sure if this is a good choice anymore.
Google search finally learned that it should stop recommending that people eat rocks. Though the AI summary does still cite satirical articles to justify claiming that it's valid to do so. In other words, more compute can get us closer to the "eat zero rocks" asymptote.
You say that. But unlike everyone else here, we have a quantifiable public record of exactly how many people in NY disagree with you *strongly.*
The only thing that could make this even more incredible is if they were discussing this on Substack. But even these clowns aren't insane enough--(what, I'm busy right now--REALLY?!)--nevermind.
This EMERGENCY is necessary because I'm getting mocked RELENTLESSLY on the Internet.
In which Justin Riddle continues to be…Justin Riddle. www.courtlistener.com/docket/69548...
*Google search* "Can I sue for damages by claiming loss of brain cells"
Ah yes, the group that was just chastising the Dems for being "language police" now wants to be the language police. How about no?
No no no, that was normal. The serial killer shit was him masquerading as his estranged daughter in order to privately contact me and try to feed me dirt on the guy who was suing him.
What's the crime?
You'll notice that even chatgpt didn't say this is a crime...
Well well well. It looks like the time to roll out my collection of trademark puns has finally arrived. May the trade dress wars begin~
Make sure you get people to wish ill on JK Rowling while you're there. It's only fair!
Oh if you think that's baffling, just ask him about how many bathrooms he has.
Cry moar. bsky.app/profile/greg...
Yo, Safety team or whatever. Wanna explain why *this* list is suddenly OK? Hello? bsky.app/profile/greg...
Yeah, that's BlueSky Poster's job!
