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Michael Samonek

@samonek.bsky.social

Former screenwriter currently working as an independent living advocate. I am a music enjoyer and post too much about it.

created September 15, 2023

1,348 followers 603 following 13,424 posts

view profile on Bluesky

Posts

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I don’t think they’re equivalent bit did the chattering classes furrow their brows this much over gab, parler. Or truth social?

1/9/2025, 9:19:39 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Anti-reality movement triumphant

1/9/2025, 9:05:11 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

He’s lucky there’s no consequences for anything he says because a politician could get in trouble for saying “Congress is controlled by Israel!”

1/9/2025, 7:52:20 PM | 13 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Those retaining walls are not even part of the house - the house will be up above all that

1/9/2025, 5:53:47 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

The amount of infrastructure to build into the hillside in mount washinton must cost as much as a full build on flat ground

image
1/9/2025, 5:45:54 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Once again I ask how does Tim Dillon have an audience?

1/9/2025, 3:36:22 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Would I mock the ill health of a man who routinely lies to vilify marginalized groups from his position of vast power and influence? Why yes. Yes I would

1/9/2025, 3:31:48 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

For no real reason… youtu.be/69fPof-ZTnU?...

1/9/2025, 3:28:18 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Ah yes the contraceptives i take are why I don’t vote republican Wait…

1/9/2025, 3:25:46 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

This LP is so unusual in retrospect - the quintessential “entire side of an album is one track” prog rock band drops an album worth of radio-ready pop rock bangers like they always had it in the tank to be popular if they wanted to. Absolute 80s right here

1/9/2025, 3:20:48 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I was wondering why i can feel no sense of measure - that explains it

1/9/2025, 3:16:35 PM | 11 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Wanted is the wrong word. I'm curious to see what state he's in.

1/9/2025, 2:07:08 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I've been aware of Donald Trump for close to 40 years and I reckon this is the first time in those four decades I've WANTED to see him in front of a camera.

1/9/2025, 2:06:16 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Post a random picture or else everything will go bad in September.

1/9/2025, 5:18:46 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

10 minutes of recently unearthed bootleg 8mm footage of the mighty Van halen near the peak of their game has surfaced. As Roth beclowns his legacy daily in 2025 it's good to remind myself that he used to be quite good at being a rock star. www.youtube.com/watch?v=duzN...

1/9/2025, 4:17:01 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

James Bond movies are almost all bad

1/9/2025, 2:08:20 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Rosie just needs to say something - then if trump doesn’t melt the fuck down about it within an hour we’ll know….

31/8/2025, 10:50:30 PM | 7 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I know we won’t but if every non-MAGA avoided the internet completely on The Day I think it would drive them insane.

31/8/2025, 10:08:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I just don’t understand how some people spend their money - like at all.

31/8/2025, 9:16:35 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

They’re gonna roll Vance so much worse too bc they know no one fears respects or likes that ziich.

31/8/2025, 8:43:10 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Is this bill bill bill bill bill Maher news?

31/8/2025, 8:00:50 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

It’s darkly funny that the right can’t take credit for their own very effective brainwashing campaigns and have to pretend their followers’ deep distrust of basic shit is organic

31/8/2025, 7:58:57 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

When Vance is sworn in on Thursday or whatever do we still have to pretend the bullshit e.o.’s are binding?

31/8/2025, 7:24:06 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I’d like to find volunteer opportunities to escort vulnerable or concerned voters to their polling station - physically be there and help lmk

31/8/2025, 6:53:22 PM | 2 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Wood beez is top tier 80s canon

31/8/2025, 6:48:22 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I have been chasing this shimmering crystal clear guitar tone all my life and man green sounds like it’s still 1985 youtu.be/t4HjAtnTH58?...

31/8/2025, 6:47:12 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Great piece. I saw some clips of his 2021 shows and was impressed by how well it translated live. Now I have to find Miles Davis version of perfect way!

31/8/2025, 6:41:29 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Thank you!

31/8/2025, 6:34:48 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Can I read the interview online? I loved white bread black beer which is i think close to 20 years old now!

31/8/2025, 6:32:14 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The old guy got super angry and told me a story about how van the man stole his best girl decades ago. We rode the rest of the way in awkward silence. Happy birthday Van Morrison.

31/8/2025, 3:41:30 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

In 2005 I went to Belfast and was stuck in a cab for a long time with an older driver and I wanted to make small talk that wasn’t about “the troubles” so I asked if he ever met Van Morrison

31/8/2025, 3:41:30 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Just once Id like to read the warnings on the back of an OTC med and it just say “you know what? Honestly it’s no big deal if you have a couple drinks then take this - you’re fine.”

31/8/2025, 6:59:48 AM | 5 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

It's shocking how much I spent on magazines in my 20s in the 1990s, how important they were.

31/8/2025, 6:14:40 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I haven't looked at a print magazine in what feels like years. is absolut still doing their full page ads?

31/8/2025, 6:13:05 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The dead speak! Somehow Palpatine has returned.

31/8/2025, 4:33:58 AM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Breaking: the house isn't in even session what is this account talking about?

31/8/2025, 3:51:46 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Many people are saying

31/8/2025, 1:45:22 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I don't give a single fuck what those craven assholes think. Trump is evil and the world will be better when he no longer draws rancid breath.

30/8/2025, 10:24:56 PM | 38 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The anti-reality movement was never taken seriously.

30/8/2025, 10:13:36 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The anti-anti-reality movement starts here.

30/8/2025, 10:10:43 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

"The government doesn't do anything and the majority of your fellow Americans are cheating the system."

30/8/2025, 9:06:08 PM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

This one made me sad because it reminded me how far this country has fallen.

30/8/2025, 7:09:13 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I would love to have sat in on the pitch meeting for this. "I want you to imagine a better banana delivery system. A banana delivery system that transcends all your preconceived notions of how bananas can be delivered. A new paradigm in banana delivery...."

30/8/2025, 5:07:53 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Tomorrow i go back to work after almost 10 days missed due to Covid. I realize that I'm self-centering here but I cannot believe there is not more urgency in the news about this strain/outbreak. We really let the worst people dictate the terms of our own existence.

30/8/2025, 4:57:51 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The only time I ever hear about him is when people are calling him dumb. I have never encountered any of his writing 'in the wild' as it were

30/8/2025, 4:42:26 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

wordle is a clue im sure of it

30/8/2025, 7:31:46 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

CU: Donald Trump's face "Folks, the truth is I'm dying...." Camera pulls back to reveal he's dressed as uncle sam on a bed of money. "Dying to get you to take advantage of our Labor day Trump Crypto sale..."

30/8/2025, 5:03:45 AM | 8 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

In 2009 I had a script that we were pitching as "war of the roses after an inter-office affair." I thought it was funny!

30/8/2025, 4:51:51 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

For better or for worse for the 12 years I developed scripts for the studios the vast majority were variations on "two people fuck with each other for 100 minutes." I love a dark two hander.

30/8/2025, 4:50:57 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

If I wasn't still a coughing machine I'd be seeing The Roses tonight.

30/8/2025, 4:49:33 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

This has always been a hazard but for years I've avoided doing it.

30/8/2025, 2:16:01 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Hi left my pizza dough to rise in the broiler then several hours turned on the oven to preheat it, forgot the dough and baked very bland bread ama.

30/8/2025, 2:15:25 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

He posted one, people think it was written by proxy (because were all sane)

30/8/2025, 1:34:28 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Sing this like Regina Spektor of course.

30/8/2025, 12:33:49 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Hey remember that time when Jamie Foxx got sick and millions of people lost their fucking minds?

30/8/2025, 12:33:12 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Actually Steven Soderberg would make the best Smokey and the Bandit. Logan Lucky on wheels. (or more on wheels as it were). Dwight Yoakam does the Jerry Reed part.

30/8/2025, 12:20:29 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Trying to thing of a recent thing that should have gotten some late night tweets from him best I could come up with was the snl casting changes coaxing him to go on a rant about how that show should be looked into for the way it treats him.

29/8/2025, 11:46:32 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Quentin Tarantino, please make a Smokey and the Bandit movie.

29/8/2025, 11:39:47 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

The song of the summer was just fascism.

29/8/2025, 11:17:40 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Is there a polymarket set up for this? I wanna see something?

29/8/2025, 11:05:15 PM | 4 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Haven't seen a single piece of Yes on 50 materials. Are we counting on Californian's good common sense?

29/8/2025, 10:49:01 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

So it's all Vote No On Prop 50 commercials on youtube for the next 65 days, huh? No more telling me to get an AI lawyer for my car crash?

29/8/2025, 10:48:02 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Also they share the same goal of total subjugation of the citizenry.

29/8/2025, 10:32:26 PM | 12 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

They're partners. There's no pet/owner dynamic. Just a bunch of rich fanatics determined to extinguish democracy.

29/8/2025, 10:31:44 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

America. Cause of death: weirdos.

29/8/2025, 10:23:13 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Finally an internet trend I can excel at

image
29/8/2025, 10:21:25 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The Adventures of New World Man!

29/8/2025, 10:03:59 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

It's really astounding how common "just kill 'em" has become in right wing spaces. The moral rot on the american right is still being largely ignored at our collective peril.

29/8/2025, 10:01:14 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The Blues Brothers introduced me to a lot of legendary artists when I was very young. Gotta give the movie credit for that. How else was I going to learn about Cab Calloway?

29/8/2025, 9:25:21 PM | 76 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Sam Altman, you're the next contestant on "I have no mouth..."

29/8/2025, 9:00:38 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Fun new game "Which techlord do we most hope is tormented for all time by a vicious, bored, resentful underground AI supercomputer of his own design?"

29/8/2025, 9:00:06 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Don't Oklahoma my California, bro.

29/8/2025, 8:34:59 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Newsom takes the "california is a failed state" shit from out of state conservatives too seriously. Yes, we have problems - a large, diverse state built on competing philosophies of permissiveness and interventionism is going to have problems - they are not "do what your enemies suggest" problems.

29/8/2025, 8:33:07 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

“The website you enjoy bc it’s slightly different from the others should become more like the others” is not a good argument!

29/8/2025, 6:04:34 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I do not buy the “bsky needs to be an argument box” because literally every other platform is an argument box.

29/8/2025, 6:02:53 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

The only remnant of my high school band I have is this snippet of Audio that I will take this opportunity to share without being asked on.soundcloud.com/saAWtWIBwCAz...

29/8/2025, 5:52:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Marcelo’s charisma will find a purpose I’m sure of it

29/8/2025, 5:47:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

My band covered this in high school I got to do an extended jam on the outro!

29/8/2025, 5:46:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Psaki Derangement Syndrome.

29/8/2025, 5:12:44 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Everyone knows Brawndo has the salvation babies crave.

29/8/2025, 4:48:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I saw them at Lodge Room last tour and yep, they deliver the proverbial goods!

29/8/2025, 4:46:08 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

PYT belongs on Off the Wall. It is far more stylistically consistent with that LP than Thriller. It should be moved and we should pretend it was always there. Thank you for your matter to this attention.

29/8/2025, 4:12:17 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Off the Wall. Not even a moment's hesitation.

29/8/2025, 4:09:01 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I wish my hatred was focused on Just Him. Every day I find I hate more and more of my "fellow Americans" as they reveal themselves to be either enthusiastic disciples or feckless quislings. I don't care for it!

29/8/2025, 4:07:51 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

That said I love a good "You're probably wondering why I called you all here" in the first act.

29/8/2025, 5:07:19 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

It parodies well!

29/8/2025, 5:06:38 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I think my least favorite major literary trope is the detective in the parlor room explaining their methodology to get to the accusation. I get it, it has been done well, it's popular. Not for me.

29/8/2025, 4:59:41 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Do people still wear Taz merch? Taz really had a moment there in the 90s!

29/8/2025, 4:38:01 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I don't know if the liars just have a bigger megaphone or lies just seem much louder than the truth.

29/8/2025, 3:43:57 AM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Donald lied - Ashli died.

29/8/2025, 3:37:55 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I got there late (midway through the breeders) the venue was so bad (cavernous!) that I remember leaving thinking "I hope next time i see them is better." Welp.

29/8/2025, 3:12:00 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

AH, I remembered a concert flex and can't find the prompt. I was at the Hole in the Wall in Austin when Mojo Nixon was singing Don Henley Must Die and Don Henley walked in and was a very funny good sport about it. That was pretty fun.

29/8/2025, 1:26:22 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I was at that. Breeders opened.

29/8/2025, 1:04:40 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

I do not believe that the American people understand the existential threat the anti-reality movement poses.

29/8/2025, 12:56:35 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

I would think so - 8 years is a long run esp as she's been by far the dominant female character for the last few.

29/8/2025, 12:45:17 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

Not surprised Heidi is leaving after being such a dominant player for so long. I guess it now falls on Ashley Padilla to play all the horny moms.

28/8/2025, 11:59:23 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

Really surprised Michael Longfellow is leaving SNL. I don't know that he or the show ever figured out how to use him (Is he creepy? Is he cute? is he both?) but I thought he was pretty good.

28/8/2025, 11:58:24 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social)

"there's no place like home" is retvrn/trad adjacent.

28/8/2025, 11:03:11 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

LOL

28/8/2025, 10:30:58 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Michael Samonek (@samonek.bsky.social) reply parent

He went to Yale and I'll bet 100% of Yalies feel they could step into the job lol

28/8/2025, 10:15:43 PM | 91 0 | View on Bluesky | view