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Mike Foster

@swanmore.bsky.social

The only sane person in a world gone mad. Nowadays I am a mere shadow of my former self.

created February 20, 2024

56 followers 152 following 732 posts

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Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I wonder what was the ratio of gay to straight porn sites. Just for information.

31/8/2025, 6:41:27 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Crikey, I wouldn't trust those blokes anywhere near children. They all look like nonce photofits.

31/8/2025, 1:46:44 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

See also HMS Neptune at Sirte, December 1941 - 764 dead, 1 survivor. Plus destroyer Kandahar sunk and cruisers Aurora & Penelope damaged. Catastrophe.

31/8/2025, 12:03:11 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Well, the Express had a very credible source in Mohamed Al-Fayed, a man of unblemished reputation.

31/8/2025, 9:21:28 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I still treasure the apocryphal "Oh, not another fucking elf!", which turns out to have been said by Hugo Dyson, not C.S. Lewis.

30/8/2025, 4:32:11 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Is Alina the one who's been stung on the lips by a swarm of angry bees?

30/8/2025, 4:26:27 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Like, it wasn't adversarial when it was made? With Muggeridge and The Bishop (no, not THAT one) saying it was blasphemous, it wasn't shown on BBC or ITV for fear of offending God-botherers, banned for 8 years in Ireland and 1 year in Norway, banned by several councils in Britain... I could go on.

30/8/2025, 4:24:21 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I'd pay good money for him to be buried in a gold dumpster.

30/8/2025, 1:11:36 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I bet he's an ex-miner and drinks Wincarnis too.

30/8/2025, 11:42:54 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social)

BBC Radio 4 comedy programmes are largely shouty people with high voices talking really fast about their ADHD, autism or sexuality. The one on now - Saturday at 12:30 is a good (bad) example of this irritating trend. The only ones worth listening to are the News Quiz and I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.

30/8/2025, 11:41:30 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I can improve your first sentence:- "WHEN Donald Trump dies in office..."

30/8/2025, 11:05:58 AM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I treasure a comment from ancient folk-rock trio Amazing Blondel. They'd come out of retirement about 20 years ago - they were so old they'd been at the first Glastonbury in 1970. One said on stage "We're from Scunthorpe - it's not twinned with anywhere, but we have a suicide pact with Grimsby".

28/8/2025, 10:10:58 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

No, but it'll still be fun to watch

28/8/2025, 9:54:11 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Or Democrats

28/8/2025, 9:52:11 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

What? She's a billionaire? I'd never even heard of her before. What does she do?

28/8/2025, 9:47:58 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Why is he so greedy? He must have a huge pension, plus a few directorships and House of Lords expenses - it's slightly disgusting Lord Dannatt hustles like a street hooker for a gold mining firm in Ghana that is probably not working in the best interests of the inhabitants or the environment.

28/8/2025, 9:46:00 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Dunno about him changing his mind, but I'd change his photograph if I was him.

28/8/2025, 9:06:18 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Next - the Girl Scouts. Trump will really love that one.

28/8/2025, 8:44:43 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

So brave!

28/8/2025, 8:41:20 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

But will he authorise switching off the life support machine?

28/8/2025, 8:40:39 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Also, I think he's just realising she'll never carry out the bins. Never.

28/8/2025, 8:38:00 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

He doesn't get paid for this kind of thing, does he?

28/8/2025, 8:32:51 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Not many people know this, but he was one of the minor insurgent leaders in the Mexican Revolution.

28/8/2025, 2:08:37 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Allister Heath should do stand-up. He's very funny. He even looks like a malevolent Eric Morecambe.

28/8/2025, 12:48:34 PM | 7 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I hope they will do the same for Lee Harvey Oswald too.

28/8/2025, 12:31:57 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I look forward to when they are all forced to drink the stuff with Flavor Aid (or Kool-Aid if they prefer).

28/8/2025, 12:29:06 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

What an amazing life Prince Galitzine lived, before and after... www.findagrave.com/memorial/188...

28/8/2025, 10:29:13 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think similar things happened over the Suez Canal in late 1942 with Ju-86s flying reconnaissance missions from Crete. Spitfire Vs were stripped. Several Ju-86s were chased and a couple were shot one down, after which no more missions were flown.

28/8/2025, 10:22:35 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

JD Vance is an intellectual giant who only comes up to Zelenskyy's knees.

27/8/2025, 9:58:16 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Jenrick looks like an angry haddock

27/8/2025, 9:52:23 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

The Guns of Provolone

27/8/2025, 7:15:07 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

A Brie Too Far

27/8/2025, 7:11:23 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Just wait till St Brice's Day

27/8/2025, 9:08:07 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

"of both parties" is the important bit. Nowadays, even the minority party hasn't got the guts to fight every totally criminal action by the president.

26/8/2025, 9:23:13 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

So like the Emperor Ferdinand of Austria - enfeebled by epilepsy, every decision was taken by his ministers. As Wikipedia puts it... When told he could not have apricot dumplings (Marillenknödel) because apricots were out of season, he said "I am the Emperor, and I want dumplings!" So like Trump.

image
26/8/2025, 8:20:03 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

In any normal government, other politicians and civil servants would have grabbed him and strapped him into a straight jacket - and under previous presidents, that would have happened. But the American public has gone mad too. It's a revolution, like Russia in 1917, China in 1949, Cambodia in 1975.

26/8/2025, 8:12:08 PM | 16 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

What gives? Lessons from Putin - enrich yourselves, but fund me. If you criticise you lose your wealth and liberty (like Khodorkovsky) or your life (like Berezovsky). You can't stay neutral - you have to suck up publicly and pay the money privately. Well, that's my view from the stalls, anyway.

26/8/2025, 8:07:38 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Overrated. Don't go.

26/8/2025, 7:46:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think the members of the Nobel committee would rather shove sticks of dynamite up their backsides and blow themselves to smithereens than give a prize to the halfwit Trump.

26/8/2025, 7:43:40 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

The Langres Day

26/8/2025, 10:31:46 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Limburger Hill

26/8/2025, 10:26:43 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Remember how important it was to get supplies of bacon to Britain from Canada in WWII, using up precious cargo space, because bacon from Denmark was no longer available - and the British public needed bacon for breakfast!

26/8/2025, 7:58:08 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Look out for "The Influencer of Auschwitz"

26/8/2025, 7:53:40 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Maybe where he hits Hegseth? Because, who wouldn't?

25/8/2025, 7:24:59 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I saw the 2023 movie Civil War early last year. I thought it was far-fetched then; now, some of it is possible. www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...

25/8/2025, 6:30:50 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

What if you iron the flag and scorch it slightly? I bet that one'll go all the way up to the Supreme Court.

25/8/2025, 6:22:03 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

The bloke with the sunglasses looks angry.

25/8/2025, 6:18:25 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

They could employ some Hessian mercenaries too.

25/8/2025, 6:14:44 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

"Furious families": usually you see them when a parking attendant writes out a ticket for being 15 minutes over time.

25/8/2025, 5:52:35 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

The gruesome thing I read was that vets removed the vocal chords of mules used in Chindit raids so they couldn't alert the enemy by braying (I think in The Road Past Mandalay by John Masters).

25/8/2025, 11:09:42 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh dear, how sad. Never mind.

25/8/2025, 6:21:02 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Now you've made me wonder if they ever use their trunks for THAT. Disgusting!

24/8/2025, 1:38:43 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Don't worry, you'll soon have an easy life.

24/8/2025, 8:41:15 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think you'll find that Eddy Butler is embarrassed at being seen associating with Jenrick.

24/8/2025, 8:32:44 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Elite? No. Intellectual? No. Bogus. Lightweight. Pseud.

23/8/2025, 8:54:17 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

If I only had one milkshake to throw... difficult choice.

23/8/2025, 6:10:15 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Poor thing! She looks like she's not been fed at all for the last 10 months. I hope she gets some good square meals from now on.

23/8/2025, 7:09:04 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

It always makes me smile when I see a license plate from the canton of Vaud which starts with VD.

22/8/2025, 4:57:44 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Trump is clearly telling Putin how to remove egg stains from his tie: "Cold water and enzyme detergent - Melania does it for me four or fives a week"

21/8/2025, 2:47:05 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

People with extreme racist attitudes like that develop them over a period of time. It's a descent into mental illness, like paranoia and bipolar. But I don't feel sorry for him, because he has chosen these opinions that have steered him into increasing madness.

21/8/2025, 10:56:05 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Thank goodness - Steiner's counter-attack will turn the tide.

21/8/2025, 6:27:05 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

My father was 2nd officer in Turbulent. He never mentioned having hit a PoW ship in error, so I think they never realised what had happened. I read Turbulent's patrol log last year and there's no mention of PoWs, even weeks later in notes from the flotilla HQ and the Admiralty.

20/8/2025, 5:01:19 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Why can't Ronan Bennett do a remake of Sex Lives of the Potato Men or Spice World?

19/8/2025, 8:21:50 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Gosh, Rick Stein looks very angry about something.

19/8/2025, 8:07:51 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Bring back Morph (and Tony Hart) - #SupportPlasticineAction

19/8/2025, 10:47:24 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Jonathan Gullis looks like a Staffordshire bull terrier, but a very ugly and bad-tempered one.

19/8/2025, 10:30:05 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

How is Jenrick allowed to be a member of the Conservative Party? He is a rabble-rouser, a hate-monger, a bully.

18/8/2025, 8:39:26 PM | 8 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

...says the idiot who got us embroiled in the Iraq war catastrophe, with hundreds of thousands of deaths, millions of refugees and more instability across the Middle East.

18/8/2025, 1:10:02 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Gormless. My late mother, born in 1921, knew the dangers of unpasteurised milk. Her mother (born 1882 in a low-paid family) knew the dangers of unpasteurised milk and made sure her own family was protected from it. So I don't see how this Florida mom could be so ignorant.

16/8/2025, 9:56:24 PM | 3 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

"Still got the pee tapes. Don't forget"

16/8/2025, 3:42:33 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think I read somewhere that Barry Cryer used to write jokes for Putin.

15/8/2025, 9:03:20 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Nigel Farage is The Man Who Hates Britain.

15/8/2025, 8:45:54 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Just to correct your typo, I think that should be "thick tank".

15/8/2025, 7:31:35 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

It'd be nice to fool him by pretending to award the Noble Peace Prize. Yes, I'm sure that would work. We could get Ulrika Jonsson to do the presentation.

14/8/2025, 10:22:19 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think that's because the cowboy, leatherman and native American costumes made them too easily identifiable.

14/8/2025, 7:42:19 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Bob Dylon

14/8/2025, 6:32:40 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Uriah Peep

14/8/2025, 6:04:24 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

The Sex Bristols

14/8/2025, 6:02:49 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Static Caravan

14/8/2025, 6:02:13 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think they should also release information on voting history, sexual orientation and educational qualifications - it will help us all come to conclusions about likely guilt.

13/8/2025, 9:41:21 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Looks like a mortician very proud of his work.

13/8/2025, 8:52:21 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

So proud of Big Balls and his achievements

image
13/8/2025, 7:02:33 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

So sad!

13/8/2025, 6:55:50 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

"thinking"

11/8/2025, 10:01:16 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

And the snake was copied in the Blackadder II intro.

11/8/2025, 3:59:01 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

They look overweight and unfit. I hope someone can advise them on nutrition, exercise and mental health regimes.

11/8/2025, 3:55:45 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Fingers crossed for E. coli

11/8/2025, 3:51:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I think they've been drinking

11/8/2025, 12:48:16 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Well I'm calling on all of them to gather in the Cotswolds and - you know - attack foreigners!

10/8/2025, 7:57:36 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh come on! He's Senior Political Correspondent at the Daily Express, which is newspaper that everyone takes really seriously.

10/8/2025, 6:18:56 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

And leopards to control the wolves.

10/8/2025, 11:11:22 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I thought Triumph of the Will and Olympiad were very cleverly filmed. (I’ll get my coat)

9/8/2025, 4:51:14 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

Dangerous halfwit likes dangerous halfwits demonstrating in favour of dangerous halfwit.

9/8/2025, 3:41:34 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I suppose that's a shareholder meeting

9/8/2025, 10:19:36 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

This reminds me of the excruciating grovelling performed by slimey Jack Straw on Condoleeza Rice over 20 years ago. Euww!

image
8/8/2025, 3:16:06 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I do hope he gets admitted to A&E after a freak accident where he trips while doing naked yoga in his condo and falls backwards onto a Kryptonite dildo.

7/8/2025, 8:45:16 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

60,138 deaths in Gaza since 7 October 2023 (BBC News website 30 July 2025). 13,000 deaths in Warsaw Ghetto uprising 1943, plus 50,000 shipped to death camps and murdered (Wikipedia Warsaw Ghetto Uprising page). Genocide? You decide.

7/8/2025, 8:27:58 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

I don't blame RFK Jr - I blame the worm. I think it fooled the doctors and hid in an unused part of his brain, probably the frontal lobe responsible for thinking, memory and reasoning. From its hideout, the worm is taking its revenge on the whole American healthcare system.

7/8/2025, 4:13:56 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

On the contrary, I think he is honoring the traditional whorehouse interior decoration found in Nevada.

7/8/2025, 4:06:17 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Foster (@swanmore.bsky.social) reply parent

File that alongside his claim that "Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts" in 2005. Boris Johnson just says stupid things because he has no rational thoughts in his head. www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news...

7/8/2025, 9:06:10 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view