It’s easy to keep your face straight when it’s 63% plastic.
Museum Nerd, Deadhead, and Dork Lord of the Sith. Master Gardener. Hunter. Jack of all trades. Veteran of the War on Drugs. Gizzard King of the Gizzard King Cabal. #NoKingsButShortKings
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It’s easy to keep your face straight when it’s 63% plastic.
Only one person gets a pass on talking about The West.
Thomas Jefferson never said this. It doesn’t appear in any of his writings. He said so many real things against tyranny, why don’t you pick one of those instead of barfing up this AI slop?
My muzzle went grey in my 40s. Just turned 54 in July and my head is finally starting to pop a few here and there. Gonna look like Arlo in no time!
Just remember- every silver lining’s got a touch of grey!
Post a random picture or else everything will (continue to) go bad in September. Or don’t. I mean, things are gonna thing whether or not you post something, but at least we’ll have fun pictures to look at.
Well, shit.
I’m sitting here crying “it goes in the square hole! No, the SQUARE hole!”
“About that…” said the Necromancer, stretching and cracking her knuckles.
Two remarkable Ambassadors for our Planet, 99 year old Sir David Attenborough and 91 year old Dr. Jane Goodall. They’ve dedicated their lives to educate and protect.. 🌍 #janegoodall #davidattenborough #nature #chimpanzees #wildlife #environment #drjanegoodall #jane #sirdavidattenborough #bbc #bsky
I dunno. If God was a Black woman, I’m pretty sure things would work better than they do.
Exactly! I’ve been working with school children since I stopped being a school children and I have no idea what he’s talking about! He needs to spend less time trying to see kids’ inflamed mitochondria and more time reading a damn science textbook.
Yessir, they sure don’t build’em like THAT anymore!
He’s no wizard, he is merely a conjuror of cheap tricks who is trying to rob us, not help us.
When "owning the libs" goes bad.
I love the smell of consequences in the morning. Thank you, @dragoncon.org
This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Causing a Führer
Don’t ask; just eat.
And in anglais, the singular of “un pantalon” is “a pair of pants,” even though there’s only one of them. So…🤷🏻♂️
I legitimately want to weave a belt in their pattern.
I… I’m gonna need a recipe…
Yassss, Shelley!
Good on yer, Ducks! Thanks!
I mean, it’s RFK, so either one is a possibility. Personally, I have mad respect for H medicinalis. H verbana is so much prettier, though…
Fuck
Oh, look! They’re sweeping the forest to prevent wildfires!
Given their interest in returning us to an earlier, gloriouser period in American history, I strongly encourage them to consider the medical benefits of a good bleeding. Just like our beloved first president, George Washington, whose pneumonia went away very quickly. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION.
😳
RFK Jr. is a godsdamned liar. This is patently untrue; nothing but an assault on everyone on the autism spectrum, and he won’t stop there. Remember pre-confirmation how he said he’d put people with ADHD, autism, and depression on farms to work through it? And now there’s a farm worker shortage… 🤔
Ah, Labour Day! When we honour our heritage of progress in worker protection by giving management a 3 day weekend.
This seems important:
My Ma and I used to make applesauce with our apples! We’d cook them up in her immense stockpot, and I’d get to run them through the foley mill. Great arm workout. Thanks for reminding me! ☺️
Lascaux Cave in France contains paintings from the Paleolithic era, 17,000 to 22,000 years ago. The paintings depict people, animals and abstract symbols and you couldn't do them today because of woke.
Residents are finding all sorts of ways to fight ICE: They're recording and reporting. They're wheatpasting and sharing know-your-rights materials. And they're stepping up to care for each other, from delivering groceries to walking kids to school. 51st.news/dc-residents...
My friend, you are not!
My late mother in law used to make a tomato aspic that I tried once and can only describe as ketchup jello. Surprisingly, that’s not what did her in.
Well, no, not since he defunded FEMA’s hazmat crew…
I desperately want A secret room. Preferably behind a bookcase, because I’m a traditionalist. But that’s WAY too much. Also, about the third time I had to Windex the entire disco chamber, I would just be done with it.
Cricket is, too. Most evenings I pop outside before the kids get home to make sure that the porch is unoccupied.
Just big enough to cuddle!
Don’t believe I’ve heard many people EXCEPT Republican men arguing that they should be allowed to marry children.
trying to imagine firefighters getting dispatched to this house and the absolute nightmare that would be
Right? I have a 25 mile commute, and work is on the way to the train station.
My wife was trying to figure out how to get from here (Richmond-ish) to Minneapolis on the train. It was going to take two days, include a layover in New York, and cost more than flying. We literally had better options in 1880.
Merry Birthday!🎉
Not for much longer…
Do people not realize that this is why the MAGAts are only interested in who’s on the girls’ teams? You don’t hear any of them talking about the need to peek in the boys’ team’s drawers.
Aw, that’s just a spooder bebbeh! We grow’em bigger.
I didn’t even think about people muting spiders.
Fortunately, I think Jesus also does forgiveness for snitching signs. 🤣
Not all of my coworkers would agree with us on that, which is why he had to go back outside.
Had to rescue a li’l spooder buddy who found his way into the office.
@lorennacleary.bsky.social this was directly under your beans post in my feed.
"The lunatics are running the asylum."
Clearly Steve Bannon wearing Trump’s face as a flesh mask.
But tomatoes go better on a sandwich. BLT ain’t Bacon, Lettuce and Tushie.
I thought Canada’s national emblem was those cuddly, friendly geese?
I can’t find the lie in this.
I would 💯 watch this. Plot twist- when the eagles come to rescue them, it’s actually guys in Trans Ams.
*taps the sign*
Still my favorite explanation of the difference between INT and WIS: int is knowing that Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. Wis is knowing that Frankenstein was, in fact, the monster
Broke: Chili dogs Woke: Chana masala dogs #CookingIsMyTherapy #EatAllTheThings
28 years ago today- almost to the very minute- I began my first day at Colonial Williamsburg. Just a week or two later I met this girl. Next month will be our 27th anniversary. An awful lot has changed over these years; @museumlara1.bsky.social has been the one constant.
No, no. It’s he repeated sadly, looking at his stack of bills. I did look up the Customs shite for the auction, though. Now I know the HS code for “original art prints, not mass produced, less than 100 years old.”
All I can say is that it’s good for my wallet that the Royal Mail won’t ship anything to the States right now, as I could talk myself into that incredible puppet all too easily!
Beavers pause while chewing trees to listen for movements so that the tree doesn't fall on them.
Sometimes we’re unsatisfied with a thing we made because when it only existed in our head, we saw all the things it could have been and when it’s done we know all the things that it isn’t, but we can’t see the way it expands into a million new things when someone else unpacks it in their head. 🖊️🦑
It is if you want it to be!
Merry Birthday to the lady who put the Wife in WifeGuy!
As long as you don’t offer cigarettes to the livestock, you’re probably fine. Just remember what happened when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow tried to hide her cigarette behind the barn…
Ha. Haha. Haaa. I get it.
Absolute unit.
We’re just the right size! It’s not our fault that so many receipts and people are freakishly tall! 🤣 #NoKingsButShortKings
And with their bushels of receipts, there’s plenty of kindling!
I had to change my shirt, I drooled so much!
I had to change my shirt from drooling!
If it’s me, just yell- odds aren’t good that I’m going to realize it in time.
I preordered Day One! I’d preorder another copy, but I’m saving my doubloons for that sweet, sweet vulture plushie!
I'm going to repost this every day.
Thank goodness he did it - it would be irresponsible for Christopher Driven to sell beer!
My family does, which is why we still mask.
Loved it!
They started sending me shit in my late 30s.
Follow me, fam- alt text on everything.
SHOW ME YOUR PRUNING FACE!!!
I didn’t know they came in pink!?! That’s awesome!
The barbecues are lit! Gondor calls for aid!
It’s Saturday 📺 Post a cartoon TV series you love.
