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Habeus Jocus

@toowoke2joke.on.computer

The Law won't save you but a Taurus Judge will. Always following 666. ☁️ Blue Sky Sertified Super User 🗑️ Account

created September 29, 2023

938 followers 666 following 5,239 posts

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Posts

Profile picture Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner.bsky.social) reposted

Anna has had excellent coverage of this developing case in which the Trump administration tried to use the holiday weekend to secretly and illegally deport children.

31/8/2025, 9:33:20 PM | 3221 1161 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kai Ryssdal (@kairyssdal.bsky.social) reposted

What are we even doing?

30/8/2025, 7:01:36 PM | 2309 522 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Google maps says it might be Paclantis.

30/8/2025, 6:52:51 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer)

let's all have the same wonderful dream tonight

30/8/2025, 6:57:46 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

It's verified true.

Here lies a pile of shit.
30/8/2025, 6:29:58 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture jenny_tightpants🪑 (@jtp.bsky.social) reposted

waow

30/8/2025, 6:18:05 AM | 638 18 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

He was just sizing him up for organ donation.

30/8/2025, 5:09:12 AM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Pure faith doesn't require explanation.

30/8/2025, 4:55:53 AM | 0 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Let's manifest this motherfucker

If you believe it
30/8/2025, 4:38:56 AM | 57 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Caleb Crain (@calebcrain.bsky.social) reposted

This deleted (but archived) Truth Social post of Trump's from Thursday night is like something out of Twin Peaks: media-cdn.factba.se/realdonaldtr...

An archived screencap of a deleted Truth Social post of Trump's, showing a black oval with blurry edges in the center of a grayish field.
30/8/2025, 4:02:18 AM | 1694 248 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Eric Allen Hatch (@ericallenhatch.bsky.social) reposted

image
30/8/2025, 4:24:07 AM | 79 6 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Drucker (@mikedrucker.bsky.social) reposted

I’m just saying that when it happens I’m jumping out of bed, running to my window, and tossing a coin to a boy to buy the biggest goose in town

30/8/2025, 3:59:21 AM | 16761 2027 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Thank you, Putin body double!

30/8/2025, 3:51:22 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Fuck, he's gonna miss it.

30/8/2025, 3:40:54 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

I'm saying Croaker Barrel at the top of my lungs.

30/8/2025, 1:56:48 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

They need calm waters for a funeral at sea.

30/8/2025, 1:54:57 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman.bsky.social) reposted

It's extremely unfair to speculate about Donald Trump's health just because he's elderly and can't form linear thoughts and has the diet of a first grader who won the lottery and his flesh has been changing color like autumn leaves.

30/8/2025, 1:49:48 AM | 1629 233 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer)

Jr is probably waking up in a bathtub full of ice.

30/8/2025, 1:48:06 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

yep

30/8/2025, 1:44:58 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

lmao that 'bye felicia'

30/8/2025, 1:28:01 AM | 20 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Should just be "thoughts and prayers for his family."

30/8/2025, 1:14:36 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

I'm thinking more along the lines of Vance filling his shoes.

Trump 2.0
30/8/2025, 1:09:04 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Funundrum.

30/8/2025, 1:06:58 AM | 13 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

People are forgetting he also owns a robotics company. So he probably has built a personal Polar Express fleshlight.

30/8/2025, 1:06:04 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

You would think he could afford to lower his car to avoid this.

29/8/2025, 11:25:34 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Me on Tuesday

29/8/2025, 11:06:18 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

The Killer (1989)

29/8/2025, 11:03:41 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

You almost fell into his trap!

29/8/2025, 10:44:54 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

This is more like bouncing an idea off a friend or colleague, but this person obviously doesn't have any.

29/8/2025, 10:40:58 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

oh no

Team of Rivals
29/8/2025, 10:39:37 PM | 12 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Nitish Pahwa (@nitishpahwa.com) reposted

a scoopy one from me, with an assist from @accountable.us: Bill Pulte is using Palantir to gather "mortgage fraud" accusations and weaponize them against Dems in order to abet Trump's government capture. but, he formerly disclosed owning Palantir stock—and that's not his only potential conflict:

29/8/2025, 10:28:07 PM | 536 276 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Zeteo (@zeteo.com) reposted

"Trump, Israel, pedophilia, corruption. If you were to lab-engineer a scandal to hurt the president and the GOP, this is exactly what you would concoct." Why Aren't Democrats Capitalizing on the Scandal of the Summer? Read: zeteo.com/p/why-arent-...

29/8/2025, 10:32:25 PM | 189 53 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Every day?

29/8/2025, 10:05:06 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Easiest rebrand in history:

Spirit (Halloween) Airlines
29/8/2025, 9:54:10 PM | 9 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Happy this ruined his Labor Day weekend.

29/8/2025, 9:47:29 PM | 10 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

As always. You go first.

29/8/2025, 9:39:57 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Yeah, we should just let the economy crater to make him unpopular. Real genius move. I'm sure this is just a game with no real-world consequences.

29/8/2025, 9:37:24 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture The Associated Press (@apnews.com) reposted

BREAKING: Missouri governor orders redrawing of U.S. House map, expanding President Trump's push to tilt more seats toward Republicans in 2026.

29/8/2025, 9:29:02 PM | 102 78 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

oof

29/8/2025, 9:05:15 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

We all win.

29/8/2025, 8:49:27 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Christopher Wiggins (@cwnewser.bsky.social) reposted

“The CDC you knew is over,” Dr. Demetre Daskalakis told me today. “Unless someone takes radical action, there is nothing there that can be salvaged.” www.advocate.com/politics/dem...

29/8/2025, 8:44:39 PM | 1693 597 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Joe G (the OG Genocide Joe)

29/8/2025, 8:42:46 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

At first I was like, what's wrong with a gondola. Then you nailed it. This is a Dodger Fan cage match in the sky.

29/8/2025, 8:28:18 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Weird that "gondola to Chinatown station" was not a better option. Much shorter distance. Plenty of open land around that station.

29/8/2025, 8:26:21 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

You know it's true when they trot out the dickhead.

29/8/2025, 7:47:16 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

That's just a facet of the Jerry experience. Where is Jerry Yes, Jerry Maybe, Jerry WTF?

29/8/2025, 7:40:06 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Marisa Kabas (@marisakabas.bsky.social) reposted

BREAKING: Social Security Administration chief data officer and whistle-blower Charles Borges has resigned after bombshell report that SSA put highly-sensitive data at risk. He sent out an email to colleagues moments ago. Here is the text of his email shared with me:

image
29/8/2025, 7:25:57 PM | 5868 2760 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Counterpoint: there should be a Jerry feed.

29/8/2025, 7:35:27 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

And he sucks because he's very much also just doing "Trump-stuff" himself.

29/8/2025, 7:29:56 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Adam Klasfeld (@klasfeldreports.com) reposted

Jan Carey is charged with lighting a fire in an undesignated area and in a manner causing damage to real property or park resources — Class "B" misdemeanors, typically resolved in D.C. with a small fine, per this story. He called Trump's executive order bluff.

29/8/2025, 6:49:33 PM | 786 241 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Looks ripe (cheesburger).

29/8/2025, 7:05:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

What balls?

29/8/2025, 6:52:57 PM | 17 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Yeah, I read the stupid article. If anyone thinks there will be a MAGA movement without Trump they didn't pay attention to what happened to DeSantis.

29/8/2025, 6:45:17 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Effective altruism says "fuck them kids."

29/8/2025, 6:12:13 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Okay that makes sense.

29/8/2025, 6:11:02 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Why would he have to "seize power" when he will just be the successor?

29/8/2025, 6:01:54 PM | 10 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

I think he's laughing thinking about Trump not being around for the midterms.

29/8/2025, 5:52:04 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Of course! I'm just saying to all the "it can't be done" naysers basing their arguments on complexity and specificity just don't realize that we already have super complex regulation regimes. They're not perfect, but they're better than the nothing we already have.

29/8/2025, 5:49:21 PM | 6 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

You can't realistically do this by enumerating everything in a single bill, you could do this by creating a framework similar to the Controlled Substances Act.

29/8/2025, 5:20:26 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Practicing being invisible.

29/8/2025, 4:53:12 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

absolute unit

Absolute Batman cover
29/8/2025, 4:45:13 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Yeah, there is always a comic version that will work.

29/8/2025, 4:44:22 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Undercover cop Shaq

Camoshaq
29/8/2025, 4:42:16 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Anna Merlan (@annamerlan.bsky.social) reposted

While he throws the CDC into chaos that may not be fixable, read @kieraevebutler.bsky.social and I on what else RFK Jr. is planning to do to vaccines, and remember the artificial September deadline he's set to "discover" the causes of autism: www.motherjones.com/politics/202...

29/8/2025, 4:35:34 PM | 239 88 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

What'd they do, add electric windows?

29/8/2025, 4:15:18 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Yep. www.litespace.io/blog/ai-cond...

29/8/2025, 3:55:48 PM | 16 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture K. Thor Jensen (@kthorjensen.bsky.social) reposted

yeah I gavin newsom... i new som people would be dumb enough to fall for that shit!!!!!!!

28/8/2025, 11:14:46 PM | 34 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Should have called it Primecock.

28/8/2025, 11:08:21 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

No wonder they hate it. It's too old.

28/8/2025, 11:06:25 PM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

This is why Trump is adding a third-floor ballroom with hundreds of windows.

28/8/2025, 10:52:01 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

They're calling it GAVIN'S GALLOWS, a big beautiful sweaty place. No one puts baby in the corner unless it's me, I'm putting the babies in the camps. I'm using the CHiPs to bust gangbanger heads, MS-13 are some bad hombres amigo. No one will out-dictator ME, Gavin Awesome Newsom. Thank you for your

28/8/2025, 10:48:10 PM | 8 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

I also think they're just oyster crackers that escaped their context. Fine for babies.

28/8/2025, 10:03:01 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Brian Hiatt (@hiattb.bsky.social) reposted

I walk through spaceports and see so many with midichlorian challenges

image image
28/8/2025, 9:59:44 PM | 17 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Yeah, we won't tell anyone.

28/8/2025, 9:57:56 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

(Always Sunny Intro Music) The Worm Gets a Job.

28/8/2025, 9:55:00 PM | 28 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Baby's first choking hazard.

28/8/2025, 9:40:54 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Yeah this is just a painfully long setup for a reversal punchline.

28/8/2025, 9:39:48 PM | 11 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Ah yes, POTUS, who *checks notes* thinks tariffs don't affect the buyers.

28/8/2025, 9:36:08 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Pouring one out (40oz lube) for the domies.

28/8/2025, 9:30:47 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

I've always wanted to ask a lego collector: do you build it, then dissemble it and box it back up?

28/8/2025, 9:26:33 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

I don't think that person understands much.

28/8/2025, 9:23:05 PM | 11 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Tesla: now offering cremation services.

28/8/2025, 8:52:14 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Great, he wants his own Grenada. Everything is an 80s flashback with gramps.

28/8/2025, 8:48:29 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

They made the robot unfunny. Comedy is dead.

28/8/2025, 8:46:55 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

His thoughts: hold my beer.

28/8/2025, 8:19:54 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture David Dayen (@ddayen.bsky.social) reposted

This is the way

28/8/2025, 8:18:06 PM | 709 104 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Least surprising news ever.

28/8/2025, 8:18:44 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Nothing like first hand research.

28/8/2025, 8:07:49 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture EZGames69 (@ezgames69.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

Once again I am encouraging people to watch the Documentary "Life After Pi" which has been documenting this very thing over a decade ago. youtu.be/9lcB9u-9mVE?...

28/8/2025, 8:03:04 PM | 10 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Seems like Republicans want a mulligan.

28/8/2025, 8:03:40 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Laurence H. Tribe (@tribelaw.bsky.social) reposted

Putin did more than eat Trump’s lunch in Alaska. He ate Trump for lunch and swallowed him whole. The losers? Ukraine, the EU, NATO, and the United States of America.

28/8/2025, 7:50:20 PM | 1303 362 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Never thought I could be racist against an accent, but I will admit I am.

28/8/2025, 7:50:21 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

jfc where are they from so I never go there. I cannot stand their accents.

28/8/2025, 7:43:28 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

It's like we're redoing the civil rights movements of the 60s from first principles.

28/8/2025, 6:08:07 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

@thelouvreof.bsky.social

28/8/2025, 6:04:02 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

New intern didn't even make it through the first day.

28/8/2025, 6:03:39 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture The Onion (@theonion.com) reposted

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Andrew Cuomo https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-andrew-cuomo/

The Onion : As mayor, what would be the most important areas to focus on first? Cuomo: Her hips, and then her thighs.
28/8/2025, 6:00:25 PM | 1188 146 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

Maybe Newsom can send the CHP to this high crime organization.

28/8/2025, 5:59:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Radley Balko (@radleybalko.bsky.social) reposted

After years of mass shootings by Trump-supporting bigots spouting the anti-immigrant, replacement theory garbage these assholes push daily, MAGA is exploiting two shootings by trans people to incite a pogrom. And holy shit, that last sentence is some serious projection.

image
28/8/2025, 5:50:34 PM | 260 68 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Habeus Jocus (@toowoke2joke.on.computer) reply parent

The writing is on the wall. This is exactly why we hate fucking Newsom for even giving an inch.

28/8/2025, 5:53:10 PM | 22 0 | View on Bluesky | view