#GoogleSearchesOfTheFuture flyborgs
#GoogleSearchesOfTheFuture flyborgs
#GoogleSearchesOfTheFuture Was Donald Trump a true story?
#GoogleSearchesOfTheFuture What was the Great Reconfiguration?
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Trust me, I've read it almost as many times as, "Frankenstein was the doctor."
Actually, Frankenstein wasn't a doctor, he was a student who dropped out after creating the monster.
Movie Frankenstein is different. He got an honorary for inventing quantum theory after he both survived and died at the end of the same movie.
They definitely are when you put them on every damn country at the same time, as if we can start getting stuff from nowhere.
Donald Trump hasn't said squat about Rudy since he lost his big defamation suit. Donny likes winners, not albatrosses.
What about one of the direct victims of someone's malevolence, not just somebody who disapproves of what they've heard about him? Do you really think you have standing to judge their feelings?
#GonnaGrillYour bear for you, Mr. Kennedy, but don't ever tell anybody I did it or bring anything like that to my restaurant again.
#GonnaGrillYour cheeseburger and, what was it, the T-bone? Oh yeah, the pork chops, as soon as I can find the chef. He's around somewhere, I'm sure I've seen him today.
#GonnaGrillYour sister next. This is really more of a test run to see if it works.
#GonnaGrillYour prawns right away, but I only have one real barbecue, so I had to improvise.
#ScaryBandsAndSongs When You Wish Upon a Paw
Fun fact: mustache Bob is actually the second draft after they had already changed the name from, "Hector the Erector."
Well, she can't lay eggs, so she releases them live, but in amphibious form, into a pond (stay away in order to avoid seeing what they look like) until they emerge in their mature form and finally suckle at her pig teats (having eaten each other until they reduced their ranks to the right number).
Icky, "Thumb?" Sir, where did you stick that thumb?
Taylor Swift is America's sweetheart because both halves of her name are pork you eat for breakfast.
I tell the kids, "every big ship like this has its own morgue. See if you can figure out where it is by the end of the trip. Maybe get some of the other kids to help look." Kept them out of our hair for days.
I tell the kids, "every big ship like this has its own morgue. See if you can figure out where it is by the end of the trip. Maybe get some of the other kids to help look." Kept them out of our hair for days.
Fartlett's Fartmiliar Quotations “The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils, so eat your beans with every meal." - William Shakespeare #Shakespeare #quotes #farts #farting #fartlettsfartmiliarquotations
Fartlett's Fartmiliar Quotations “If music be the toot of love, then eat your beans with every meal." ~ William Shakespeare #Shakespeare #WiliamShakespeare #quotes #quotations #inspirationalquotes #fart #farts #farting #fartlettsfartmiliarquotations #music #beans
Fartlett's Fartmiliar Quotations “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet. Like everyone hates the foul fetor of my rancid farts, but they ain't stoppin'." ~ Maya Angelou #MayaAngelou #quotes #inspirationalquotes #farts #farting #fartlettsfartmiliarquotations
If I had to pick one, Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence. It's a lead role that demands real acting chops, and he has to play a guy who can't sing, terrible, voice like animals dying.
Dwight Yoakum in Slingblade. Guy did some real acting, should have gotten offered more good parts.
Liver sausage pineapple #Accomplished
Bucket list #Accomplished
Vengeance upon my enemies #Accomplished
Your mama #Accomplished
They say I'm old-fashioned, because I'm bittersweet and mostly whiskey.
They say I'm old-fashioned, because I'm bittersweet and mostly whiskey.
The secret ingredient is love, and parasitic larvae, like the one in my brain.
I tried cloning, but we spent so much time blowing each other it didn't really help all that much.
I tried cloning but we spent so time blowing each other it didn't really help all that much.
Even making love to a clone of myself I have hang-ups. I've accelerated its life processes so we can, but it has the mind of a child. And I have to be gentle because I'm eventually going to transplant my brain into its younger, healthier body, which it doesn't know, and I feel a little guilty about.
The number of penises I have. It's one, just one, but that's an odd number.
And the future that those children are is this one. We don't know what it means, just that it is an image from the future.
And the future that those children are is this one. We don't know what it means, just that it is an image from the future.
And the future that those children are is this one. We don't know what it means, just that it is an image from the future.
Oh, don't joke about knife squirrels. I seen things.
Wow, if that metaphor were a drink, it would only take one of them to get you plastered!
It does, but don't just tell the folks, show 'em. I know it seems too good to be true, but the money singer was also the monkey dancer.
. . . just maybe not exactly a Jetsons kind of a future, could be they're a future with more of a Mad Max vibe.
Oh, my self care ritual is pretty much the same as my self abuse ritual, just with mellower music.
Oh, my self care ritual is pretty much the same as my self abuse ritual, just with mellower music.
I also played the violin. I don't remember why I stopped.
Falling asleep at work was a big problem for me until I discovered lifelike eyeball stickers.
I got in so much trouble for sleeping at work until I discovered lifelike eyeball stickers.
I landed on Suicide again. I should just update to the 20th Century version.
We had an old one from when it still had the "Suicide" square.
I'm starting to think the guy only wants to conquer Iceland so he can change all the exhibits in the animal penis museum to say his is bigger.
I'm starting to think the guy only wants to conquer Iceland so he can change the exhibits in the animal penis museum to say his is bigger.
That's what my dear old dad used to tell me, and he did it, too.
Sorry, but I don't make the rules, and you did type, "play doctor."
Sorry, but I don't make the rules, and you did type, "play doctor."
Friendship is black magic.
Did you say, did I hear you say, "the biggest mound of dirt possible?" Let me tell you about a place I once knew.
Did you bother to ask the poor lions how they feel about it?
I'm always glad when patients seek a second opinion, I just wish they didn't all seek it from this guy.
I had a very lucky morning! Woke up with a whole beer still in my pocket.
I once caught a talking fish, and I asked it for three beers. My wife was mad. She said I could have gotten all three with one wish, but kind of feels like cheating to me.
#WhenYouWishUponaMeteor make a wish for Martin.
Sorry, but I don't make the rules, and you did type, "play Doctor."
I took LSD and uncovered the hidden layers of scouse ingredients.
Hippo tables! Did I mention Hippo tables? We got Hippo tables!
I have a lot of catching up to do. The oldest Chinese movies I've ever seen were from the 1930's.
The tea itself which accompanied our repast was Defecation.
And for heavens sake, should the Queen ever visit again, remind me to serve the Non-Defecation tea. The state in which she left the loo was utterly ghastly.
The tea selection was limited to Hibiscus or Defecation. We picked Defecation.
Proctologists have the best stories. They're all the same story, all that changes is the nature of the object, but it's still the best story.
Looks like it was built out of parts from losing Battlebots.
As long as it was just a dream. Real 911 got no appreciation of cat emergencies.
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