The few among these guys who even had the patience to watch mad men never clocked the quiet desperation of the suburbs gradually driving Betty insane and just sat through it like “cool, roadster, push mower, cool, hot tub drinking, cool”
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The few among these guys who even had the patience to watch mad men never clocked the quiet desperation of the suburbs gradually driving Betty insane and just sat through it like “cool, roadster, push mower, cool, hot tub drinking, cool”
At the hague weeping that meemaw made me do fashion shows in her living room while mom railed perc 30s off a toilet seat
This is such a common problem across soulslikes, hat on a hat-ass design
Hello sharks, today I’m here to tell you that actually it’s ephebophilia and it’s acceptable in many cultures
Only if they let him sing the opening theme. 🎶 he’s the man, the man with the fucked up diiiick 🎶
I wonder if he remembers the time he went to a VA benefit where a guy brought up agent orange exposure and its long term effects and trump spent the next hour arguing whether apocalypse now referenced napalm or agent orange
Just as project paperclip bolstered our nuclear production capabilities, so too will the AI that calls itself mecha hitler lead the way to a new American century
Dicked! At the Prayer Breakfast
When the AI bubble pops and the Nvidia guy has to sell his leather jacket collection I’m gonna be in there like it’s supermarket sweep
Getting one for my truck that says “I bought this before ford went crazy” and my only other sticker is an iron cross
Oh I remember her, she’s the lady best known for posting fucked up pancakes and trying to get Ilhan Omar killed for criticizing AIPAC
the thing about Zohran is he is really fucking good at politics and everyone on the Dem side behaving like he’s a liability has lost their minds I don’t care how you define It, he has It
This is clearly a Brit and every time one of their food gore pics breaks containment it’s a soggy pie on a plain white hamburger bun
Mullen is doing this by himself on the subway full time now. People keep giving him spare change and he hands it back
[tom hardy bane voice] bitches, leave
Why is clippy telling me to angle the razor vertically for best results and take several aspirin beforehand
That man was born to blast cigs in the dugout and hawk his own bobble heads from the back of an el Camino
Most bay area liberals are just conservatives who like to flatter themselves. Ask them what should be done with the local homeless population and you’ll hear a lot of “exterminate the brutes 💛 🌈 ✊🏾”
Can someone remind me what Zero Dark Thirty was about I’m dumb as shit
Thank god, can finally purchase blue jeans from local mafia
George HW Bush got laughed out of a presidential election for being overawed by a supermarket checkout scanner and Elon is basically doing that while beating off
You have 100% tried to fuck someone by doing closeup magic at them
Did you finish cooking afterward
[pretending to read a thesaurus held upside down] huehuehue present your credentials please ma’am
I can tell that you’ve never had real enemies, like the Romanian special victims unit
When reached for comment, Mr. Beast offered me $100K to spend 48 hours in the magneto prison!
Have you ever asked your grandpa about his days in the Hitler youth
I’m not addicted to my phone, I broke my wrist and eyes from holding it too much so now I’m addicted to my computer
He’s spitting unfortunately
*knock knock* hello I just moved to the neighborhood and am required to inform you that-oh, you too? Great!
Israel citizenship requirements Israel extradition agreement Does Israel do birthright for pedophiles
Looks like the drooling psychos I spent decades whipping into a paranoid racist frenzy have booted me and my neocon friends out of our clubhouse, time to slip into the liberal crowd and immediately start dictating terms
You could not waterboard these people into recognizing everything they say about trans people now is identical to smears against ACT UP
Obama had to be dragged kicking and screaming into repealing dadt/doma, didn’t do so until 2011, and dickheads like this spent the entire time gainsaying activists who pressed the issue
I could tell you for the hundredth time that there were more hillary to McCain voters than Bernie to trump voters but you’re irretrievably poisoned by delusion so you should probably just eat shit
in 2008 you and every other pig stupid blue waver were PUMAs making the feminist case for Sarah Palin. You can even see an early form of Bernie bro messaging, oh dang is that Rebecca traister
Robot Donald Glover: And I have never nutted harder in my life
Dutch: Awrthur, we’re s’dang poor and desperate ever since them last five robberies got botched, just give what you can Arthur: [Dressed head to toe in white Buffalo pelt, carrying gold plated rifles] shucks, maybe next time
RT if you also wish ill upon JK Rowling.
Hilarious considering the average American catholic is indistinguishable from an evangelical. Most of them can’t even be fucked to observe lent
A popular bag of chips with many locations
SAVOIR-FAIRE: You tried to bribe someone with ~100 bucks in loose bills? Come on, man
A group of feral teens slapped my David Sedaris book out of my hands and told me to foh. I no longer feel safe in my community.
Shame episode 9 erased that trilogy from the public consciousness because I want to see boyega disrespecting star wars at press events for the rest of his life, couldn’t ask for a better heir to ford in that respect
I just saw this guy drink a red stripe in the locker room, he said it was his pre-workout
Walking into a lying competition and my opponent is Israel, I’m so cooked
dumb guy Aquaman was such a perfect counterpoint to every quippy hyperverbal marvel hero, I miss him. Just a big cow man belting lines like “yeoh black manta? That guy fucking sucks, I hate him!”
Sony is finally going to kill halo, or at least bungie
Then at last we can get back to our main priority, giving the AI prion disease by feeding it AI generated training data
It is a real shame that the democratic party's loyalty to Israel is keeping them from making any political hay out of an Israeli official getting caught in a child sex trafficking sting, then being released without charge back to Israel by the Trump administration.
I have a hard time staying organized, that’s why it’s important for my calendar app to periodically hallucinate events and locations
Interesting, let’s see what else he’s written for the site
[facebook uncle half remembering this a week from now] Gianna michaels said white people are the only race that ever tried to end slavery
Lol this is an old patton oswalt bit, “I guess if you start working your obliques people will think you’re shooting horse”
Oh noo don’t primary me and consign me to a seven figure no-show consulting job I have such a will to govern aha
Pam Bondi marching down a dank concrete hallway to a glass cell where Jared Fogle is staring placidly out at her, knowing only he can help her root out the deep state sandwich sickos
Brianna’s Parents: Here’s a million dollars, we heard you’re working on something about MLK’s struggle against the Klan! Brianna: Yeah mom and dad, real fuckin sexy just like you asked
I know a pile of dried corn hate to see him coming
Finally get to my hotel after 6 hours fighting my way out of heathrow and when I open my laptop Kier Starmer is asking to see my goon pass
If only he had turned and started running up a gentle slope, he’d be a free man
Why sir, it’s crisp-mas day
You could turn that thing upside down like a DQ blizzard
How many white 20 year olds are buzzing off their broccoli haircuts today
Guy who takes one jiu jitsu class trying to show off his moves going “no bro not like that, you have to hit me from this angle” except it’s “no you have to stay in the wheelchair!”
I know you’re not a supporter but which do you like better for his campaign poster
You couldn’t make me unmute this if you hit me with a cattle prod. Even his body language is condescending.
My grandpa still has the bathroom key to a truck stop he visited in 1978 where they made the gravy with actual sawdust. He hopes to return someday.
It’s not a pour-over, it’s coffee edging
He’s been posting through it so I fully expect him to respond with this
That guy has to watch basketball alone now because he still says things like “LeSuck James” in 2025
Husband to a divorced wife, father to girls who have been eating their meat balls,
Pwease don’t firebomb the hotels where we house asylum seekers. Also if you see a brown person working deliveroo call the police immediately
If I was already feeling anxious and you put that cobra boss in front of me I would go chris benoit mode
Robot doing the Lucy Ricardo assembly line bit with the number of b’s in blueberry
No way was this written by someone with the last name “Sulkin” come on man
If you’re a Russian intel officer trying to get schematics of US tanks my best advice would be to start a fight on the War Thunder forums
We’re all in this together, and if you even say the word “union” to our employees we have the Pinkertons on speed dial ❤️
[over a bullhorn while running a killdozer through a neighborhood] I’m not like everyone else here, I didn’t come to make friends
They took his shoes and then saw they were Yeezys and dumped them in the sewer, it is time to federalize DC
Arlen is one of those suburbs that incorporated as its own town to separate their tax base from the inner city. It’s called Eagle’s Landing now.
The one I skimmed through had huge sections that were just block quotes of tweets from haters she made up
My dad “gifted” me one of her recent detective novels and homie oh my god. She was already in the George Lucas too famous to edit zone before spending a decade as the face of a hate movement, now she just litigates old twitter beefs one 1200 page brick at a time
Excited for tiktok teens who see a cell tower in the distance and think it’s a giant to start hallucinating the insulindian phamsid everywhere
Larian talked about this, hitting a wall with trying to balance characters after level 12. How do you design an encounter when every high level spell can kill Goku
Seems relevant that this guy was a sergeant in the IDF
Sarah Bond keeps undoing it because she’s not 100% sure if Xbox games should be multiplatform yet
Trying to invent sociology from first principles but 90% of my human interaction is on a screen and the other 10% is with customer service
🤚 also fucked a WoW guild mate. She flew me out
Grandpa are you cold, where’s your ahegao shawl
They really hate him a lot for the guy who set up the whole turnkey unitary executive operation now enabling the advance of fascism
Oh noo don’t go to jail for drone striking an American teenager you’re aging so gracefully aha
This guy should be put in a crate where he can’t move his head
Jeffery, the Masonic temple on *my* island is practically empty, we’ve had to hire seat fillers, it’s a disgrace
They couldn’t cut social security directly to reduce the debt so they’re just scamming old people, next best thing
Come visit the cafe in Edinburgh where JK had the idea to wholesale rip off Earthsea but make it racist
Labor timidly putting out statements like “please no racist carnage in the streets this year” while starmer tweets this shit
Liz Cheney bailed on her own gay sister to run on a homophobic platform because she thought it would ingratiate her to reactionaries
