From your lips to gods ears (assuming she is real and has actual ears)
From your lips to gods ears (assuming she is real and has actual ears)
Go vegan
Don’t even get me started about avocados.
Does she know she’s an op or no?
I am building a giant hand in space that covers the cube. Roshambo.
Go vegan.
It’s expired?
Ahhhh ou mua mua ah papa ou mua mua
As an rn, babar legs is sending me 🙇🏻♂️
They call it the wanderer, yeah the wanderer, it roams around around around…
I’m…! No I can’t.
Old enough to remember going “homeland?” that’s some nazi ass shit right there…
Bringing dairy-free sweets to a coffee shop near you.
Shaggy from scooby doo. Scared and hungry all the time.
Always looking for redemption. Preordered.
Read this and chuckled to myself haha dumb motherfuckers. Read it to my wife and couldn’t get last part out. Got all choked up. Turns out I’m a dumb motherfucker too.
Heyyy! We’re manufacturing consent ovah here! Madone!
Sounds right. And a lot of pooping.
Hey kids, just a regular reminder #VaccinesWork. Almost time for annual #Influenza #Vaccines. Will we get them in US this year? Will we get new #COVID19 boosters? For those over 50: get #Shingles #Pneumovax #HepatitisA #HepatitisB & if you're a woman its not too late for #HPV! #GetVaccinated
Hear hear! Shingles vax tied to lowering risk of dementia too I believe.
Hell’s got all the good bands anyway
Sorry you have to interact with these people.
Check out the colossal array of great Murphs in the replies.
the manosphere wasn’t a specific thing. It was everything. What’s more, you just had to do that one special 90’s trick - ironically acknowledge it without affecting any systemic change - to absolve yourself. This is what people are probably remembering. We did it with war and the environment too!
💯 beep beep who got the keys to the jeep
There is absolutely no excuse for any Democrat asked about trans athletes to ever respond with anything but “why are you wasting my time asking about FEWER THAN FIFTEEN CHILDREN AND YOUNG ADULTS IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WHO WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH THEIR FRIENDS. What is wrong with you?”
Date: Ima let you finish…my plate, I’m outta here.
Wow, the Cub by Minnehaha has so much visibly rotten produce on the shelves. It's gross.
So lame. Seen this before at cub. I mean who are they trying to fool? What if an inexperienced shopper is picking something up for someone and doesn’t know? Deceptive business practice. Also gross.
Axios? More like Ass-ios. Hope they see this.
An underrated reason not to platform them on film is because I watch it and then want to do violence so bad that my BP skyrockets and I’m that much closer to stroking out.
Yep toddler for sure. Won’t share, throw tantrums at the drop of a hat , constantly crapping their diapies.
I’m convinced baby is a top 5 if not top 3 descriptor. Just huge babies all of them. I’m scared of brown people wahhhh. I want a big daddy dictator to take care of me. I want a woman to take care of me at home. Waaaah!
Dogs did not like that one!
This Shit™️
And a liter of homemade blackberry wine and vegan shroom scones
It’s a heads I win, tales you lose proposition for his handlers also. They can legitimize what they want and downplay with a wink wink the stuff he says that is categorically insane without any real consequences.
You could even keep on supporting the crew (discretely, in the privacy of your own home 😆)
We did (a while before retirement tho) and you should too. It’s not perfect but man is it good!
It some parts of the universe it is. RIP Biz Markie! 🫡 🙏
Born 2 decades later. 9th grade had a definite active smoking section but I think they did away with it the following year.
Hahaha - apple pipes get all the press but THIS is for the real heads.
Brb just skanking over to target
Center = uncrustable
I wanna know about fasteners…finds site with a frames style table of contents on every fastener ever made and link to fastener message board.
I hate to say it but the nineties were the pinnacle of human civilization. I would like to be proven wrong on this and I fear the only thing that will allow for that to happen is some sort of large scale EMP.
Come on people. Let’s get those courtesy stickers up on our windows. We can do better.
The basic fallacy in chasing votes by being "tough on immigration" is that the modal American's position on the issue is "Deport the Bad ones and keep the Good ones," and they alone know who is which, and that simply does not translate into workable policy. So this kind of gestapo stuff (1/2)
This is true for many right wing canards and the “Charlie brown getting punked by Lucy” response by Centrists. Being a “deficit hawk.” Being “tough on crime.” Being “Pro business.” Once centrists buy in to the nebulous framing, they’re trapped.
I am cursed to sing lame commercial jingles: 🎶 Patio enclosures 🎵
Same!
When I can tell I’m getting on my wife’s nerves, I like to ad lib the scene where bugs is in the car with the gangster. “If anyone knows when to shut up, it’s me! I’m not the type to keep blabbin”…etc and so forth.
Seems true for political relationships as well
journalistic objectivity is a tool that is useful for certain things. it's been turned into an ideology by bad faith actors and cowardly, self-interested hacks with family money. like all cults, it gradually destroys its adherents.
Listening to my republican relatives complain about capitalism with absolutely zero insight drives me bananas
Omg. “I’m just a candidate that loves to enjoy what this city has to offer.” “I’m the candidate who lives life to the fullest” 🤣
Same problem with post WWII too many rich racists in the “winning” side.
LGTBQ…abcxyz. My dad said this and I swear he is not prejudiced just an extremely offline boomer. Under woke 2, I understand some form of punishment must be meted out.
So I could potentially like the Steelers again? 😬
Exactly. If your personality cannot surmount liking an unpopular team then it was never about sports.
As a lynx fan I wish nothing but indigestion and adult acne on the liberty but repping wnba is a good look
The wife is out of town so you know what that means! Yep, I can eat my Kim Chi inside!
Where Was the Protection for North Minneapolis? We keep seeing standoffs in Maple Grove, Eagan, and Chisholm handled with urgency, alerts, and shelter-in-place orders to protect residents. But here in North Minneapolis, we don’t get this kind of response. 1/5
Lavos, the alien monster intent on destroying all life, has emerged from beneath the planet's surface to endorse Andrew Cuomo in the New York City mayoral race. "Cuomo has the experience and character necessary to lead," said Lavos, while fire rained from the sky
Cop that weed lobby cash son
Oh_thats_bait.gif
Do they even exist or is just one guy with a buy gold ad on some website with html frames
2028: President Buttigieg appointed Rahm Emanuel to head Doge today…
The killer is consistently described in the press as “a devout Christian who opposed abortion” as if that’s an essential trait of devout Christians. Many, if not most, “devout” Christians support abortion access. Melissa Hortman was a Catholic who taught Sunday school.
Begging strib to google new apostolic reformation and get a fucking clue
Personally, fuck the American flag. I wipe my ass with it.
Throw in some spicy Christian nationalism to the mix and kablooey.
Alex, what is Ratchet theory?
Ding ding ding. We have a winner!
Grunge
No.
Oh man if you ever watch Fox News it is like “democrats have a literal knife to your throat” 24/7.
Republicans: WE NOMINATE SKELETOR Democrats: We dislike Skeletor but we will vote to confirm him. Please give us between 5 and 50 dollars. Democrats: I stand before you to condemn the actions of Skeletor. He should have never been given this power. Please give me between 5 and 50 dollars.
This is by design. All fascist movements need a paramilitary wing. Yeah and at the time “homeland” was a big tell.
Horrified kid staying up late and seeing a drunk foghorn saying this on a late night talk show
Nice boy but about as sharp as a bowling’ ball
It’s hard to quantify the damage that the mainstream media does on [Fill in the blank.] But it’s probably significant. Evergreen statement.
Lauren, do you have good medical insurance?
We feed you. They hunt us.
📌
Just two normal dudes, crossing streams at the urinal
Debate m…. AAAAAHEEEEE
Yelling over the deafening sound of air rushing out “I’m just asking questions!!!”
My friends dad made him a custom wooden pedal board. So nice but it weighed as much as a sofa sleeper.
AI doomers and AI zoomers are two sides of the same coin, powered by a quasi-supernatural belief that God is coming to the machine. The reality is more mundane: that semi-functional AIs will thoroughly undermine the existing social order through myriad systems of abuse.
Admittedly, no one wants to hear make it vegan but I could and then I would add your diced onions happily. And mustard.
Additionally, when your guiding light is colonizing the universe with space eugenics, killing 100,000’s of the world’s poorest is icing on the cake.
This. I saw HuffPost begin an article with “Musk, tasked to go after government waste and inefficiency” or some such nonsense and I stopped reading. It was a smash and grab from the start.
Great excuse (not that one is needed) to listen to my fave version! youtu.be/OLkPwxcIji0?...
Don’t mind if I already did.
I have a friend who will not let this joke die and you have placed honor on his name
