Yet again…..
Yet again…..
Printing event posters is a civil right, but ensuring your vote for representation in congress isn’t made worthless via gerrymandering is not….. Is Pam doing lines of brain worms with RFK Jr?
Because it’s never a badass move when the mic you drop was made by Fisher-Price
To really wipe the slate clean this time instead of water, flood this place with….
Seems like Grok’s slow learnin’ cousin that hasn’t been right since the mule done kicked him in the server is writing most of their tweets
Wow, looked that up to verify because apparently I am stupid enough to think this timeline could be worse….. this should have been met with the same laughter that EA received for “Surprise Mechanics” Heading down to the courthouse to claim I own all buttons named select, start, a, b, x, and y.
What’s the deal with the number of balls completely lost by fielders tonight?
Never thought I would be missing Ron Fairly’s 3 inning long stories about the Dodgers, but here we are
Looking forward to tomorrow’s press conference where Kash just uses an Ouija board to answer reporters questions….
I call this asteroid “the reset button”…
Post a perfect album from the 90’s that isn’t Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, or Alice In Chains
No need to investigate that when so many leads point directly to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave….
Nah…. Like palpatine he would have popped back up,doing bath salts in Florida with some public access show
Even if they can him, they still haven’t milked that ‘95 cow dry yet…… where is Bobby Ayala and why isn’t he teaching the bullpen how to more efficiently serve up a home run?
They should really do more investigative stories around “what the hell is prime, and why do I even want most of this shit?”
If there are any folks that just cracked time travel….. bringing Teddy Roosevelt to this so he can challenge Trump to some no holds barred in the octagon is what this country needs
So you are on Roblox?
Lazy trolling….. Go back to Roblox
“According to sources inside the pentagon, the person ultimately responsible for this action was….
On the plus side, most of Trumps’s supporters would qualify for free relocation to Huntsville as part of Operation Paperclip….
If they imposed a .005% tax on meth they could cover that in 2.5 hours….
Anyone have an old copy of The White Album they can play backwards?
Democracy dies for free with your Amazon Prime subscription
I almost didn’t make it out of Cloud City because I ran back for rock salt and ice…..
Looking forward to the consultant/ pundit class getting rich from Dem money blaming this on California responding to Texas by saying it “went too far”
Wait so Charlie Kirk is basically saying during sex, he’s thinking of…. Us?
Excited to see which private jets they will buy with this
They will eventually say “this is a Christian nation” and remove the tax exemption from anything that doesn’t fit into their evangelical box. So, try: The 3rd reformed church of Jesus (re-reformed) Synod of Latter Day Saints. Because they are also too lazy to investigate it
So he wants to use water like out of the toilet?
“I’ll take mine with extra asparagus and coffee…”
The State of California (pictured, left) responding to Texas (pictured, right).
Have they even considered that America’s children have all been turned into newts by a witch, but they got better?
Finally…. Bill Gates will be tried at The Hague for one of the biggest crimes against humanity…..Windows Me
Completely different type of cheating Astros fans, stay in your lane. If someone is stealing signs, we will ask for your input…
First instinct as a Mariners fan is to worry enjoying something now will somehow doom the future. But…. He is damn good behind the plate and is having fun…. It’s like watching the mid 90’s Junior vibe back in action
With how well he plays behind the plate, puts his body on the line for an out, and and the absolute happiness he radiates….. it is almost….Griffey-ish right now
After watching the last decade, the idea of Darth Jar Jar suddenly feels way more realistic than Darth Sideous running the show….
The correct answer is Roy Hobbs.
Then he would have been liked by Cassian…
Same. The voice in my head that shows up after a few beers could no longer confidently slur “I can still throw faster than a major league pitcher…”
So…. How many circles of hell will you need to add for this plethora of asshats?
Even a broken, high and smug asshole of a clock……
“You dumb fucks shouldn’t have listened to anything we taught you!”
“But does she specifically lean forward, tap on the mic and say the exact phrase “I want a Quid pro quo”? No? Checkmate Libs……” - Everyone’s MAGA relatives on Labor Day
Does this mean a return to normalcy…… in the metaverse?
Sounds like he spent some time chatting with the folks in The Villages. Easy mistake to make…..
Who the fuck told them he could read? Cite your sources on that one CNN
Don’t need the makeup or a camera test…… go out there and kick Gov. Ritchie’s ass…
If only Colmes was still there to barely push back and then laugh as they continued to hammer conservative fever dream talking points for a solid hour…..
“…MLB.tv, the league’s ̶o̶u̶t̶-̶o̶f̶-̶m̶a̶r̶k̶e̶t̶ In-market VPN streaming service…”
They do…. because listening to anyone from this administration speak is absolute hell…
That ending is the worst….. “We know you love digging with your steam shovel, and we owe you money for the job you just finished…. But instead of paying you, how about we just make you our janitor and rip apart your steam shovel to use as a furnace?”
Ahhhh yes, Pope Not Innocent the 14th
I’m still more concerned about Ghorman’s inexplicable resistance to Imperial norms…..
It’s like sports talk radio callers….. but somehow even worse
I should probably search urban dictionary to see what that means….
Jeffries speeches and interviews make you long for the high octane excitement that John Kerry worked the mic with….
Unfortunately, JD found it under a very sensual couch and…. The cleaners refused to accept it
“Sometimes, that isn’t worth much….” - 2001 Seattle Mariners
So….. time to get jazzed about Book of Boba Fett season 2? I demand more Bacta tank mentions this time!
Exactly…. Once the CF camera operator and garbage can percussion technicians are healed up, they will be back to hitting like they can read the pitchers minds…..
The lack of Emmy nominations for these performances is a bigger robbery than the one I personally helped pull off on Aldhani…..
No Shit….
Politico truly is “Tiger Beat on the Potomac”
Yes. We realize it, and deep down it just eats at us more with each game they move closer to the playoffs. Even when they put up 116 wins in the regular season, they can’t even win a 3rd game in the ALCS.
“The most interesting thing about King Charles the First Is that he was 5 foot 6 inches tall at the start of his reign But only 4 foot 8 inches tall at the end of it Because of…….”
How does the beer arm feel? Will the coaches keep you on 12 ounce cans next week or will you be back to lifting tall boys?
The future opportunity will be placing her inside of a large paper bag, which she will need to act her way out of. That is the last time we will ever see Gina….
I look forward to old dudes on rascal scooters chasing people while calling for backup on their jitterbug phone, only to be foiled by stairs again…
Unfortunately his kryptonite is casting directors looking for actual talent…
It will be remembered as the day everyone stopped saying that the most disappointing thing he did was the Vision Pro
Internal restructuring followed by liquidation of its holdings should be good on the whole…
They aren’t really gone…. Just hidden under one of Billy long’s many, many chins…
The only thing that was memorable on SNL was his inability to stay in character and laugh. Has always been an unfunny assclown.
Sounds like someone found one of Pete Hegseth’s old secret bottle stashes….
The correct answer is “yes, and to make you feel more at home I’ve assembled an all-star panel of 34 people all yelling at the same time for you to try and talk over…”
They went with a snow covered city to hide how it will actually look and what an eyesore it will be. Kind of surprised they didn’t just try to hide it with a black sharpie, so clearly they upped their game here.
“Clearly in position…” - Derek Jeter
If he continues to avoid sunlight, garlic, and crucifixes, lifetime could be a very long time…
Mr. Hands Goes to Washington
He met her at camp last summer….
This is why he usually sticks to sheep…. The don’t kick as hard…
At a tasting room, tipsy boomers sit on each side of Miles, complaining about the wine. They demand better - Charles Shaw Merlot. Miles breaks a bottle, slashing wildly to his left and right until they fall silent. He returns to enjoying his Pinot as the boomers lay face down on the counter.
That is a hell of an echo……
Leno was boomer porn. He made bland jokes that were crafted to not make people think too hard or feel uncomfortable. And just like the rest of the boomers, we saw how he couldn’t give up his power even when everyone else was pushing him towards the door…
This is the Novocain of trolling….. try harder, even your mum shook her head at it….
From the lack of crowd reaction it is clear that took some balls, even for a legend of William’s level that day.
General Sherman returned to march through Atlanta’s starting rotation….
Thank you “A Minecraft Movie” for this gem out of Idaho…..
That wood grain was so cool and looked much better than the 86 topps.
