... assuming Trump actually gets there ...
Renaissance Man (depending on your definition of renaissance). I also have A Substack From A Guy Named Joe and produce a podcast (who doesn't?!) called DB COMEDY PRESENTS THE ELECTABLES. I was banned from Twitter for offending racists years ago ...
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... assuming Trump actually gets there ...
I signed up for Semafor when they got started, but their bothsiderism leaning towards being pro-corporatism (IMHO) made me bail. No regrets.
Fair, and I meant no disrespect to the photographer!
Whenever it was taken, he can barely keep his eyes open - and the going-home photo adds a deeply-spaced-out stare and a pinky finger bending away from a feeble wave ...
IRS: "Driver 8." POST-IRS: "Nightswimming."
A shorter update that embraces the holiday weekend and reflects one dominating question (and you know what it is!) - so give it a read, check your social feeds, and carry on while keeping your ears peeled. (And do the things to bring more eyes to the Substack - never assumed, always appreciated!)
Tick Mother F’g Tock …
Tick Mother F’g Tock …
Tick Mother F’g Tock …
Tick Mother F’g Tock …
You mean like the conspiracy theory his office released about stopping to help a victim of domestic violence and then randomly getting rear-ended?
You mistyped “Podcaster Paid Directly by Vladimir Putin …”
Word is he’s heading to a course in VA …
I think this wraps up everything we need to get Miller convicted in The Hague after all of this is done ...
You mean that phony bothsiding grifter? Fck that joke ...
Normally I'd respond with a Vance meme, but that picture's pretty good on its own ...
Approaching a holiday weekend still, today's update features record up-sucking, chaos in American public health, a warning to MAGA from Iowa, and superb embarrassment about a sandwich and a former Fox lawyer/host! Like and subscribe (free!), circulate and tip with a paid subscription - and THANKS!
PICTURED: Daddy Incontinent and his Failsons, Incontinent Jr. and Erik "Erik" who still doesn't know which hole he should use to enjoy ice cream ...
So long as a replacement is equal to the freakishness of HHS Brainworm ...
I also believe the country is well beyond the 3.5% threshhold to be able to peacefully flip a tyranny and bring sanity back ... we may need to mobilize more and do more, though ...
Can Congress override Secretary Brainworm and open up more COVID vaccines? I've gotten all of them and don't want to head into the season being vulnerable (since I'm not on any of the lists that "can" get it according to Brainworm) ...
What do you expect from a Trump-appointed DOJ?
This is actually really smart on the part of the Guard command. We all know Trump and Miller and Drunky McHoneyPotAnyone are just aching to see some blood spilled so they can crack heads … hard to do that when the troops are just doing everyday work …
Meanwhile, Zohran Mamdani is creating a new FAQ about how to run an election with fun and smarts and they cower away from him …
They're getting ready ...
Keeping tabs on we-know-who (phew!) with what I hope is more than appropriate snark and wild speculation ... AND celebrity breaking news to wrap the update up today! So, a bit of fun no matter what! Read and spread - like, recommend, subscribe (free!), pay for a subscription (tip!), and THANKS!
He will end like Ceaucescu …
I don’t care - do you?
Also Adam and the Ants!
Stand Back - Stevie Nicks Sit Down You’re Rocking the Boat - from the musical Guys and Dolls Songs from The Big Chair - Tears for Fears
He’s not Trump. He’ll be far easier to fight - especially because nobody on the GOP respects him, MAGA doesn’t adore him, and everyone thinks he’s a twerp (because, well, he’s a twerp) …
"Squid games?" Is that what the kids call it while eating French-fried potatoes, Mayor Adams?
The tail end of the week had a LOT happening. Much of it concerning - but is there a deeper reason why? Updates and speculations abound in today's Update, along with campaign updates and a historical three-fer for your musical interlude! Read, then do the word-spreading and supporting thing for me!
Or his face …
"DID YOU THANK ME FOR WRITING THAT COLUMN, NEW YORK TIMES?!"
That, and like LA and DC, Chicago’s not the Hell hole Dementia Don and the MAGA Cucks hallucinate it is …
Alternate take: STOP GIVING THAT RELIC BILL MAHER ANY TIME OR SPACE
That’s a LOT of swelling …
They don’t. More importantly, neither does MAGA. Neither does the Heritage Foundation. And I think he’s being held together with duct tape and spackle already …
That gawdawful hat isn’t helping …
Here we go …
The Re-Redistricting Wars are ON! So is The Battle for the Streets of DC, which features heckling and an unasked-for appearance by you can guess. Plus a grab-bag of news bits, and daily histories that adds to the fun (I hope!) Read and like and recommend, subscribe for free or leave a tip. Thanks!
… I’m sorry, when he said “Russiagate” for a second I thought he was talking about Putin …
This is a MadLib …
“35%! 75%! 72648375%! - WE WIN! WE WIN! SAY THANK YOU! SAY THAAAANNNNKK YYYOOOUUU!!!”
... seriously?
WE TAKE YOU LIVE to California MAGA GOP Headquarters…
You will see an unmistakeable theme in today's update as the ins and outs of the DC meeting between Team Europe and a nimrod is dissected - a dissection which includes another voting headache. it's a nutty update! Give it a read, like, leave a paid subscription tip - and keep sharing! Thanks!
He’s being fluffed on Fox this morning, so check today off too!
Plus, knowing what putzes Trump has working for him, I would not be surprised if Zelenskyy and company just put their earbuds on and listened in to the call live …
You mean FBI agents are dressing like they’re in a 70s TV police series?
… and once again, a MAGAt looks EXACTLY like you’d expect a MAGAt to look …
What part of "STATES RUN ELECTIONS" is the entire media missing? STATES. RUN. ELECTIONS. PERIOD.
So has Putin.
The pee tape. Or more than one …
I’m pretty sure that’s one reason why all leaders of Europe are descending on to the White House today …
The thing is, without Putin whispering in his ear, Trump can be manipulated - and bringing every European leader to DC will do that. (Also, if Putin were whispering in Trump's ear, Trump would mangle the message so bad it would be must-watch TV ...)
Get the skinny on that Alaska thing with and how Zelenskyy plans to counter it There's also summaries of the DC situation, who to credit for Gavin Newsom's social media game, and the end of an Internet era. Do the social media things when you like what you see and think others would too - THANKS!
Not many people took a 5th place finish and parlayed it into multiple-level grifts like Riley has …
Siouxie Sioux?!
You mistyped “Trump Calling In Troops From Red States To Militarily Occupy National Capitol’”
On the plus side, one less person to call if you are ever in need of a decent negotiator ...
At least we know Zelenskyy is on it with the Monday meeting and backing from Europe … don’t trust Trump but do trust him … SLAVA UKRAINI!
Asked and answered, Hakeem - WTF, man?
Did Putin stick some plutonium down his Depends?
Fabricating based on whatever memory fragment the last person who talked to him sparked - so now we know how Putin was toying with him today ...
"The prize" being a copy of the pee tape?
Someone let Gavin know please ...
Is Vance deliberately staying away from the White House or does Trump not like or trust him?
That, and we can presume Putin still lords the pee tape over Trump. (ALLEGEDLY) (EYEROLL)
Putin slipped him some plutonium when they were alone in the limo?
... so I guess we're duty bound to scan Trump's limo for latent plutonium?
Without the hilarity of Matt Groening …
… without once having to whip it out …
“The girls, they pee for you - now you pee for me! Right in that camera!”
Nonetheless, save the whiskey!
Whatever they do, they better preserve the distillery. It’s terrific whiskey.
She’s trolling …
I keep hearing the old Mystery Science Theatre 3000 bit ... "HE TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A SAND-WIIICH! HUZZAH!!"
On top of everything else, this is easily the best use of a Subway sandwich ever. God knows they're not decent eating (Go Team Jersey Mike's!) ...
Obama has also reportedly endorsed Mamdani!
… so, what’s for breakfast?
HA!
Alpha Males!
Breaking News on how CA would counteract TX or any red on redistricting, along with this AK thing with Putin and Trump, the new diversions/threats on cities, and a big 5-0 to celebrate with a dance! Like and subscribe for free, spread the word and leave a paid subscription tip, and Thanks!
Well, that's in large part because Miller is also a criminal ...
Dude looks like his valet ...
All Mags cares about is her precious accessibility to Dear Leader ...
… and he’ll have Heritage Foundation douches create MaJik NumBerzZ that say we are all in the best country EVAH!!
Must-Miss TV
Must-Miss TV
Or reports of pedophile protectors wearing MAGA hats ...
And the world will dance the double-handjob-to-hide-his-diaper-fill dance ... and MAGA will be ENRAGED ...
HAND CHECK
Pole vaulting will always be badass ...