Queens Park Rangers don’t play in Queens Park, and Chelsea have never played in Chelsea.
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Queens Park Rangers don’t play in Queens Park, and Chelsea have never played in Chelsea.
London Gatwick, London Luton, London Stansted, and London Southend are not in Greater London.
And a third one if you count the serial killers.
His hair was perfect.
There’s over three hundred million of the buggers now, Putin has to think big.
They paid zero tax this year anyway, as they made a £42m loss last year. They paid zero tax last year as well, because they made a loss in 2023.
Which means they paid zero corporation tax last year.
I wonder what the US military are doing with their surplus flags at the moment.
I’m pretty sure you are actually meant to burn the American flag to dispose of one, as throwing it in the bin is seen as disrespectful, or some other bollocks.
It’s a challenging wank.
If you’ve been on the booze the night before, is your morning sample considered high-octane piss?
Do they drink each other’s?
Was Sauron really evil, or was it that weirdo Rhadagast?
I hope someone does, so he can accuse jesters of turning young‘uns gay.
I thought it was, as he’s worse than Hitler.
1947.
“I created Argos. I’ve been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the buying process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of the answers you will understand, and some of them you will not.”
That’s nice for them.
I think it’s like how some women have normal towels, and the “sex towel.”
The work-life balance.
Which would be fine, except the rest of the world doesn’t know when America will elect another cretin, so we all have to keep you at arms length from now on.
Usually, their arsehole son takes charge. After Paps dies, he generally can’t hold it together, and gets a red hot poker up his bottom.
Liz Truss today: Mental Liz Truss every day: Mental Thank you for your enquiry.
Not when you’ve got The Hottie And The Nottie and Neil Breen floating around. They make Plan 9 From Outer Space look like The Third Man.
Worst film? It’s no Samurai Cop.
Idi Amin had a damn good go at it. Of course, it wasn’t white people he was being racist to, so so no one really cared.
That’s the first one at the in-laws house.
You’d have to make a big Boris-squeezer.
At least he got the weekend to have some fun first.
It’s ok Alistair, just go to your doctor.
I don’t think the People’s Front of Judea, or the Judean People’s Front, or whatever they become after their rows, is something to pay much heed too. SPLITTERS!
There’s a woman sat in front of me on the bus who has been having a 40 minute domestic on the phone. He’s an idiot, she’s a sociopath. They were made for each other.
I’M DEAD
I think Hawtrey would much rather live in San Francisco than Dallas.
Hang the DJ
Or What’s The Frequency Kenneth? If I feel like rocking out.
Two cords, Kate Pierson, perfection. Me In Honey.
“This is the most drunken performance I have ever seen, and I’ve watched twenty two Jean Michael Vincent movies.” -Rob Hill.
I think we were done playing nice at that point.
Funnily enough, Lord Bute went easy on the French during the post war negotiations, trying to get them on our side and not have them persuade the rest of Europe to gang up on us a future war. Well, you can see how that went.
The French, with help from The Spanish, Dutch, and anyone else who we scared/pissed off during The Seven Years War, which was pretty much everyone in the whole world.
Physicists are wont to tell us that nothing is faster than the speed of light, but let me tell you something, light is positively pedestrian compared to me hitting that block button under similar circumstances.
Heinz are an American company.
You went for the most arrogant and rude in English people. Are you Dutch?
Omar Comin’
That is the face of someone who is wondering, “How did I lose to this clown?” And when it’s Jimmy Cleverly thinking that, you know you are the arch-clown.
I don’t know a lot about high tech radars, but I would prefer a deity that has more than one eye.
And they say London is full of foreigners.
They can’t stop now They’ve traveled so far To see this lovely hotel (All together now) I want to know what love is.
The beer that is, not the people.
Aren’t they owned by Molson these days?
As I said earlier, it’s as British as apple pie.
Your royal family shouldn’t have taken over England then.
Black pudding, if you want to pass for British.
He’s been taking a beating all day.
People’s Front Of Judea shit.
He’s deader than flares.
You’re wrong. You are never, ever moving on from being what you are.
I became President of FIFA as a six week old baby. She’s rubbish.
People are saying Trump may be dead. I mean, I just got given this photo by the cops.
That’s why we have a block button.
Is it because QPR aren’t in The Premier League?
It’s as British as apple pie.
Even lefty Americans who live in America are racist to foreign people who aren’t white. It must be the shite food they eat, because the ones who come here are reasonably normal.
I saw her in a godawful Troma-esque shark film where she plays a shark scientist(!). I remember saying that time hadn’t been kind to her, but Greggs had.
I have a job in Sloane Street to do, so I’m checking what time they open, and Google obviously thinks I’d rather travel 400 miles to Newcastle instead.
She never got out of that house.
It’s complete coincidence that the young lady that America’s Mayor picked up had six previous convictions for soliciting, your honour.
I go offered the Lucasian Chair at Cambridge when I was six weeks old.
It hasn’t asked me yet. Just as well, as I don’t have a credit card.
My brother’s coming round tomorrow, so I’ll be doing the dreaded Sunday office shift.
I refer you to my earlier statement.
Nic Cage has been utter shite for decades.
From the Great Beyond?
Boom tomorrow.
Suits us.
Prison spaces are going to take a beating again. On the other hand, Trump has been ordered to dismantle Alligator Alcatraz, maybe we could buy it. It would be fitting for racists to be housed in it.
Annoyed is Ivanova’s default setting, at least she isn’t bloody furious.
Babylon 5 is going to send Ivanova round your house, and she’s annoyed.
I was hoping for a Mr Creosote ending.
A unicycle, while juggling.
Patsy Kensit in Lethal Weapon 2 with a ridiculous South African accent. Child advert actor to lead singer of bloody awful band Eighth Wonder, and back to acting again.
Brentford.
Trying to capture the American market.
It’s the one nearest the tube station.
Same in London. Well, those red buses and The Tube are some of things we are famous for. It’s quite amusing watching tourists’ reaction to the double decker buses. Especially kids, they love them.
That’s probably the most European statement I’ve heard an American make. That has been a continuous mantra here. The curse of the SUV, though ours are probably still smaller.
I don’t know that much about public transport in the US, but the Subway in NYC is meant to be pretty decent. My brother’s been twice, and he says it got him everywhere he needed to go.
It’s a pre-car city, it was designed for horses, as much as it was designed at all. It was built by the same people who built London, which explains a lot.
I’ve got to commute into central London, which would take months driving. I assume it’s similar to East Coast cities, which also weren’t really built for cars.
It probably beats driving where you are, if what I’ve heard about Boston, and Massachusetts as a whole, is true.
It kinda loses its sheen when you use it every day to get to work. My niece loves the train though, as her parents drive her everywhere. They went to Paris a few weeks ago, and I’m not sure if she was more excited to be on holiday, or the fact they were going to France on The Eurostar.
Prince Albert in Notting Hill. I’m sure you’ve been in it.
There’s a pub in Northolt called The Office. It’s owned by a the guv’nor of a building company.
The third most hated Piers in England, after Morgan and Gaveston.
Was the photographer drunk or is this guys head immensely fat?
It is of vital economic interest to the Rodina, as it is carrying eight tons of not-too-moldy potatoes.
