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Kumail Nanjiani

@kumail.bsky.social

linktr.ee/kumailnanjiani

created April 24, 2023

296,968 followers 282 following 551 posts

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Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Penguin is a full on sex pest.

29/8/2025, 6:37:54 PM | 37 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Chris Hemsworth really does it all

29/8/2025, 6:24:49 PM | 344 16 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Watched Batman Returns in the theaters for the first time in my life. Man, that is a top 5 superhero film & perhaps the Burtoniest of all his films. (Scissorhands is close.) A profoundly weird film about the weirdos (Penguin, Catwoman), uninterested in the ostensible lead character. 5 stars.

29/8/2025, 6:16:52 PM | 926 33 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

AI’s primary function is to vacuum wealth up from below and move it to the top.

29/8/2025, 4:20:22 PM | 1346 209 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Here is my main opinion on AI, in every capacity: What is the point of technology? Is it to make our lives better and easier, or is it to make a very small percentage of people richer? The latter is what AI is doing. The people actually doing the coding are making themselves redundant.

29/8/2025, 4:15:39 PM | 2569 442 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Thank you for loving my work, which is not AI.

29/8/2025, 4:09:52 PM | 53 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Nope. Nope. Yes.

29/8/2025, 4:05:20 PM | 61 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

And here come all the “AI artists” or, more accurately, “typers.”

29/8/2025, 4:05:07 PM | 1076 81 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

There is intent behind the signed urinal. There is a perspective and a point of view. There is a point. AI is incapable of intent or point of view. Hence it is incapable of making art. I look at what people call AI art and I feel nothing.

29/8/2025, 4:01:43 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

AI art does not exist. It is an oxymoron.

29/8/2025, 3:36:50 PM | 2820 453 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Zero to hundred to zero real quick. From S5E2 of Silicon Valley

28/8/2025, 5:36:32 PM | 357 19 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

I looked up pictures of a gun store a while ago and suddenly everything made sense. They package and sell them like toys. It’s like walking into a video game store.

28/8/2025, 2:16:03 AM | 272 7 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Give me fear or give me a refund

27/8/2025, 5:10:24 PM | 591 39 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

CYOOOOT! From S4E3 of Portlandia.

26/8/2025, 5:43:36 PM | 499 38 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

This is my contribution to society

22/8/2025, 6:05:07 PM | 1068 98 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

One man's love story is another man's search history

21/8/2025, 5:05:11 PM | 524 40 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Here is the Fallout season 2 trailer. Yep I’m in it. I love this show. youtu.be/NZY5WiqeyQQ?...

19/8/2025, 8:39:41 PM | 997 93 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

To woo or not to woo. That is the question

18/8/2025, 5:51:16 PM | 358 15 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

We are not hoaders I PROMISE

15/8/2025, 6:31:43 PM | 599 24 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Yyyyesssss!

15/8/2025, 2:33:33 AM | 22 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Is the egg still on my face if Gilfoyle put it there?! From S1E6 of Silicon Valley

14/8/2025, 6:06:04 PM | 360 14 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I love watching people who give a shit making shit.

12/8/2025, 9:21:01 PM | 745 81 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Such a warm, confusing welcome 🐪

12/8/2025, 6:14:00 PM | 722 51 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Robin gave so much to this world. Remembering him today ❤️

11/8/2025, 6:19:12 PM | 994 82 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Homelessness is one issue that even my politically like minded friends have icky opinions on.

10/8/2025, 3:47:43 PM | 104 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

A career-defining moment for sure

7/8/2025, 5:17:33 PM | 511 19 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

The best possible party vibe is the cozy zombie enclave party vibe.

2/8/2025, 9:55:58 PM | 315 13 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I’ve just learned that July is "Lasagna Awareness Month." That’s something I'd like to unlearn

30/7/2025, 5:55:05 PM | 303 21 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

The Naked Gun is so funny and joyful. Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson are both hilarious in it. The Naked Gun movies loomed large for me as a kid, and it's thrilling to watch a new one that deserves the name. I know! Who'da thunk! Go see it in theaters! Laugh with a bunch of strangers!

30/7/2025, 1:26:03 PM | 1530 76 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

EVERYTHING is a negotiation. From S2E3 of Silicon Valley

29/7/2025, 6:04:12 PM | 589 37 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Daddy problems ❌ Problems with "daddy" ✅

28/7/2025, 6:48:44 PM | 594 29 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

11 years ago, "The Meltdown" first aired on TV. Jonah is still giving me shit about this shirt

25/7/2025, 6:35:59 PM | 660 32 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Gonna miss talking to Stephen about not at all nerdy things.

22/7/2025, 7:39:10 PM | 1867 142 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Back in the day I had stiff competition

21/7/2025, 7:18:06 PM | 1072 73 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Writers Guild of America West (@wgawest.bsky.social) reposted

WGA statement on Paramount’s decision to cancel the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

image image image image
18/7/2025, 6:03:35 PM | 19395 5811 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

And this is why I had to cancel my live stand up shows till October. Very very sorry for that.

16/7/2025, 9:38:57 PM | 175 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I think all interviews should take place in a room full of kittens

16/7/2025, 7:43:13 PM | 1427 104 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Classic typozinger. Now fixed.

16/7/2025, 4:37:05 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

If you are in NYC in August or September, come see me play Mary Todd Lincoln’s husband on Broadway.

16/7/2025, 4:24:36 PM | 689 28 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Realll toss up. Anyone’s guess

11/7/2025, 5:29:42 PM | 1571 166 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Some of us aren't fluent in pillow talk. From S4E5 of Silicon Valley

10/7/2025, 6:24:09 PM | 458 26 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

When I was on Silicon Valley, we didn’t think robot nazis would be here until at least 2030.

9/7/2025, 2:06:59 AM | 3237 281 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

It's more than a pill. It's a breach of trust.

8/7/2025, 7:21:40 PM | 568 42 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

YOU ARE SO FUNNY IN IT!

8/7/2025, 4:14:11 PM | 61 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I loved Superman. The cast is phenomenal. It's moving, funny, thrilling, and about trying to be good in a world that is bad. A superhero movie for this moment. I'll be watching it again and again.

8/7/2025, 2:38:06 PM | 2508 144 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Believe me when I say Pakistan has a parasocial relationship with Picket Fences

30/6/2025, 7:33:48 PM | 508 25 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Schooley (@schooley.bsky.social) reposted

New York establishment Democrats literally doing the full Skinner.

Graph showing huge youth vote for Mandani Simpsons no it’s the children who are wrong meme
29/6/2025, 7:09:15 PM | 1424 247 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture daniel sieradski (@self.agency) reposted

last night the republicans passed a budget to turn america into a nation of roving masked thugs and concentration camps and this is what democrats are doing still on sunday morning news programs instead of telling their interviewers to shut the fuck up and stop changing the subject

29/6/2025, 2:18:43 PM | 3123 949 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

A piece of shit is a piece of shit, equationally (From Silicon Valley, S2E8)

27/6/2025, 6:17:12 PM | 587 29 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

You WILL put respect on Hugh Grant’s name

25/6/2025, 5:36:55 PM | 630 24 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Dear Dems: this is what we want. This is who we want. Listen to us.

25/6/2025, 4:25:19 AM | 6297 833 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Zohran Kwame Mamdani (@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social) reposted

We’ve got until 9pm. Make that call, send that text, canvass that poll site—these are the moments that decide this race.

25/6/2025, 12:17:32 AM | 7233 893 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Two insults do not make a compliment. From "The Big Sick" (2017)

23/6/2025, 5:56:34 PM | 365 11 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Maureen Jice (@jane.meangirls.online) reposted

The liberal establishment is putting more effort into stopping a progressive from becoming mayor of New York than they are to stopping all of Trump’s illegal actions combined at the moment.

22/6/2025, 11:01:32 AM | 2110 517 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

A Dem lawmaker and her husband were killed by a guy for their political views and it’s already out of the news.

21/6/2025, 11:05:17 PM | 34808 8957 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

The. Greatest.

20/6/2025, 11:05:32 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

But The X-Files is really like one long movie

20/6/2025, 4:52:56 PM | 37 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

17. John Carpenter has the highest number of stone cold genre classics. Halloween. Escape from NY. The Thing. Big Trouble. Prince of Darkness. They Live. In the Mouth of Madness. & more! Absurd. 18. The Descent (Brit version) is a perfect film. 19. X-Files's Home is an all time great horror movie.

20/6/2025, 4:16:48 PM | 330 11 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

It is also yet another way to move money upwards, consolidating it to the wealthiest class. Workers become obsolete. AI doesn’t need a salary or health benefits.

19/6/2025, 5:57:58 PM | 336 15 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Treason

19/6/2025, 5:49:34 PM | 25 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

They photoshopped out Amanda Bynes flashing a peace sign on a movie poster. Remember that?

19/6/2025, 5:40:20 PM | 71 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

13. Black Christmas (1974) is one of the great slashers & responsible for a trope wrongly credited to another (great) franchise. 14. The Faculty is fantastic except for the shiny 90's "CG can do anything!" sfx. 15. The Blob (1988) rules. 16. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) is a top 5 horror.

18/6/2025, 11:48:08 PM | 433 10 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Yes. Frighteners is fantastic. And he used the same green ghost design for LOTR later.

18/6/2025, 7:53:27 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Love very much

18/6/2025, 7:32:17 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

I love squishy gross squishy gory hound Peter jackson (Feebles!) but LOTR is just too important to me. So I can’t fully go there.

18/6/2025, 7:30:31 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

(Some of these are taken from replies) 8. Exorcist 3 is a classic. 9. Jason X is best of the "franchise killer in space" sub-genre. 10. Tremors is a perfect movie. 11. Shaun of the Dead & Slither are the best horror comedies. 12. Prince of Darkness is Carpenter's most underrated movie.

18/6/2025, 7:08:13 PM | 677 17 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Both of these are GREAT! Stealing them for thread.

18/6/2025, 6:45:01 PM | 30 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Don't make me shush you.

18/6/2025, 5:24:30 PM | 719 60 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Yeah fair point

18/6/2025, 3:52:38 PM | 21 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

I would say it's an action movie. One of the best ones.

18/6/2025, 3:42:47 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

6. Child's Play is an underrated franchise. The first two films are both great & up there among the best horror franchise films. 7. Nightmare 4: The Dream Master is very underrated. The water bed & roach motel sequences are up there with the best of Freddy.

18/6/2025, 3:41:11 PM | 668 14 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Thread. Will be updated as needed. I hold the following horror movie takes to be true: 1. Final Dest is the most consistent franchise. 2. The best films from the major franchises are Dream Warriors & Hellraiser 2. 3. Alien is horror. 4. Silence of the Lambs is horror. 5. Terminator is a slasher.

18/6/2025, 3:39:10 PM | 1649 80 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Btw I am performing at the Excite Center at Parx Casino in Bensalem, PA this Friday. 8 pm show. Buy tickets here: www.axs.com/events/82693...

18/6/2025, 3:07:11 PM | 95 5 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

She is 16 and has had one (1) white whisker for two (2) years.

17/6/2025, 8:51:14 PM | 435 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Just a very cute picture of Bagel. Carry on.

image
17/6/2025, 8:49:46 PM | 1679 43 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

God would want me to give this plot a chance

16/6/2025, 6:17:08 PM | 354 12 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Case in point: bsky.app/profile/npr....

16/6/2025, 6:08:47 PM | 428 27 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Case in point: bsky.app/profile/npr....

16/6/2025, 6:08:10 PM | 1042 65 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

It's a true story. I'm frustrated w Dem leaders. Immigrants like me & my family are being deported & I barely hear Dems on it. I'm proud of my city for standing up to ICE. Why aren't they talking about the assassin's politics? If asking for our leaders to be stronger makes u dislike me, so be it

16/6/2025, 5:43:33 PM | 6 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Yeah I wouldn’t wanna look ridiculous, Cats for Democracy

16/6/2025, 4:38:27 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

It's not enough

16/6/2025, 3:34:48 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

In case this wasn't clear, I am NOT talking about Dem voters being toothless. Loved seeing millions of people on the streets this weekend. I'm talking about politicians and leadership.

16/6/2025, 3:31:57 PM | 4819 224 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

And my social circle is not "wealthy Dems." I clearly said these were people I met at a big fancy event. My social circle is people frustrated with the lack of inspiring leadership right now.

16/6/2025, 3:14:20 PM | 39 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

The fact that you can name the one person who has done something is not a good sign. There are just a handful of Dems speaking & acting forcefully. AOC. Bernie. Newsom, for now. Not enough. Many voted for Noem, for instance. Reading replies to my original tweet shows most share my frustration.

16/6/2025, 3:12:18 PM | 49 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I did an event in DC & there was a party for donors etc after. Was talking to 2 ppl & I said "Things are so bad." They said "No this is how it is. Things swing one way, then another. It's normal." That's when I realized why Dems are toothless. They have no idea what this is. Frogs boiling in water.

16/6/2025, 2:09:06 PM | 36736 5995 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture NY Times Pitchbot (@nytpitchbot.bsky.social) reposted

Whether it's Democrats putting flyers on Chris Cillizza’s Tesla or Republicans assassinating Democratic lawmakers, it's time for both sides to turn down the temperature.

14/6/2025, 6:49:03 PM | 3568 623 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Tim Onion (@bencollins.bsky.social) reposted

Especially if you're on the fence about it, protest today. Fascism is isolating and lonely. Its very goal is to make you feel like you're the only person unwilling to accept a cult of personality. On days like today you fully realize there are more of us than there are them. You will feel better.

14/6/2025, 2:02:51 PM | 16461 4109 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

The picture of the dog in the burning room saying “this is fine” but the dog itself is also on fire and running around and setting fire to every other dog and room in its vicinity.

14/6/2025, 1:08:33 PM | 1137 73 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Keep your kids FAR away from Elephant Man

13/6/2025, 7:18:13 PM | 616 52 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Mike Ryan (@mikeryan.bsky.social) reposted

We just got into a cab. Vir Rawal , if you see this, we have your diploma

image
13/6/2025, 2:04:50 AM | 366 103 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Please don't make me chooose. From "Good Talk with Anthony Jeselnik" (2019)

12/6/2025, 5:26:44 PM | 254 13 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I'm out ✌️ From "The Big Sick" (2017)

10/6/2025, 5:18:49 PM | 278 7 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

real bummer finding out that literally everything was on the honor system this whole time

10/6/2025, 2:59:39 PM | 20103 2836 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

I love LA.

9/6/2025, 1:56:08 PM | 2183 112 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy but I still like seeing them fight

5/6/2025, 7:24:38 PM | 31904 5207 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Sitting here searching “travel ban” again. Time is a flat circle.

5/6/2025, 3:01:56 AM | 1546 92 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

Hi hi hi!

4/6/2025, 6:59:36 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent

TBC I absolutely love Iowa and there is no other place I’d rather have had as my first stop in America.

4/6/2025, 6:55:11 PM | 247 7 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Been almost 30 years of shakin ladies’ hands. Just getting the hang of it

4/6/2025, 6:29:29 PM | 991 46 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)

Getting to the age where even the people I don't think I've known that long, I've known for like 15 years.

4/6/2025, 4:10:23 PM | 1575 90 | View on Bluesky | view