Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Penguin is a full on sex pest.
linktr.ee/kumailnanjiani
296,968 followers 282 following 551 posts
view profile on Bluesky Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Penguin is a full on sex pest.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Chris Hemsworth really does it all
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Watched Batman Returns in the theaters for the first time in my life. Man, that is a top 5 superhero film & perhaps the Burtoniest of all his films. (Scissorhands is close.) A profoundly weird film about the weirdos (Penguin, Catwoman), uninterested in the ostensible lead character. 5 stars.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
AI’s primary function is to vacuum wealth up from below and move it to the top.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Here is my main opinion on AI, in every capacity: What is the point of technology? Is it to make our lives better and easier, or is it to make a very small percentage of people richer? The latter is what AI is doing. The people actually doing the coding are making themselves redundant.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Thank you for loving my work, which is not AI.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Nope. Nope. Yes.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
And here come all the “AI artists” or, more accurately, “typers.”
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
There is intent behind the signed urinal. There is a perspective and a point of view. There is a point. AI is incapable of intent or point of view. Hence it is incapable of making art. I look at what people call AI art and I feel nothing.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
AI art does not exist. It is an oxymoron.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Zero to hundred to zero real quick. From S5E2 of Silicon Valley
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
I looked up pictures of a gun store a while ago and suddenly everything made sense. They package and sell them like toys. It’s like walking into a video game store.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Give me fear or give me a refund
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
CYOOOOT! From S4E3 of Portlandia.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
This is my contribution to society
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
One man's love story is another man's search history
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Here is the Fallout season 2 trailer. Yep I’m in it. I love this show. youtu.be/NZY5WiqeyQQ?...
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
To woo or not to woo. That is the question
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
We are not hoaders I PROMISE
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Yyyyesssss!
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Is the egg still on my face if Gilfoyle put it there?! From S1E6 of Silicon Valley
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I love watching people who give a shit making shit.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Such a warm, confusing welcome 🐪
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Robin gave so much to this world. Remembering him today ❤️
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Homelessness is one issue that even my politically like minded friends have icky opinions on.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
A career-defining moment for sure
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
The best possible party vibe is the cozy zombie enclave party vibe.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I’ve just learned that July is "Lasagna Awareness Month." That’s something I'd like to unlearn
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
The Naked Gun is so funny and joyful. Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson are both hilarious in it. The Naked Gun movies loomed large for me as a kid, and it's thrilling to watch a new one that deserves the name. I know! Who'da thunk! Go see it in theaters! Laugh with a bunch of strangers!
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
EVERYTHING is a negotiation. From S2E3 of Silicon Valley
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Daddy problems ❌ Problems with "daddy" ✅
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
11 years ago, "The Meltdown" first aired on TV. Jonah is still giving me shit about this shirt
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Gonna miss talking to Stephen about not at all nerdy things.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Back in the day I had stiff competition
Writers Guild of America West (@wgawest.bsky.social) reposted
WGA statement on Paramount’s decision to cancel the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
And this is why I had to cancel my live stand up shows till October. Very very sorry for that.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I think all interviews should take place in a room full of kittens
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Classic typozinger. Now fixed.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
If you are in NYC in August or September, come see me play Mary Todd Lincoln’s husband on Broadway.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Realll toss up. Anyone’s guess
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Some of us aren't fluent in pillow talk. From S4E5 of Silicon Valley
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
When I was on Silicon Valley, we didn’t think robot nazis would be here until at least 2030.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
It's more than a pill. It's a breach of trust.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
YOU ARE SO FUNNY IN IT!
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I loved Superman. The cast is phenomenal. It's moving, funny, thrilling, and about trying to be good in a world that is bad. A superhero movie for this moment. I'll be watching it again and again.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Believe me when I say Pakistan has a parasocial relationship with Picket Fences
Schooley (@schooley.bsky.social) reposted
New York establishment Democrats literally doing the full Skinner.
daniel sieradski (@self.agency) reposted
last night the republicans passed a budget to turn america into a nation of roving masked thugs and concentration camps and this is what democrats are doing still on sunday morning news programs instead of telling their interviewers to shut the fuck up and stop changing the subject
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
A piece of shit is a piece of shit, equationally (From Silicon Valley, S2E8)
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
You WILL put respect on Hugh Grant’s name
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Dear Dems: this is what we want. This is who we want. Listen to us.
Zohran Kwame Mamdani (@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social) reposted
We’ve got until 9pm. Make that call, send that text, canvass that poll site—these are the moments that decide this race.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Two insults do not make a compliment. From "The Big Sick" (2017)
Maureen Jice (@jane.meangirls.online) reposted
The liberal establishment is putting more effort into stopping a progressive from becoming mayor of New York than they are to stopping all of Trump’s illegal actions combined at the moment.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
A Dem lawmaker and her husband were killed by a guy for their political views and it’s already out of the news.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
The. Greatest.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
But The X-Files is really like one long movie
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
17. John Carpenter has the highest number of stone cold genre classics. Halloween. Escape from NY. The Thing. Big Trouble. Prince of Darkness. They Live. In the Mouth of Madness. & more! Absurd. 18. The Descent (Brit version) is a perfect film. 19. X-Files's Home is an all time great horror movie.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
It is also yet another way to move money upwards, consolidating it to the wealthiest class. Workers become obsolete. AI doesn’t need a salary or health benefits.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Treason
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
They photoshopped out Amanda Bynes flashing a peace sign on a movie poster. Remember that?
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
13. Black Christmas (1974) is one of the great slashers & responsible for a trope wrongly credited to another (great) franchise. 14. The Faculty is fantastic except for the shiny 90's "CG can do anything!" sfx. 15. The Blob (1988) rules. 16. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) is a top 5 horror.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Yes. Frighteners is fantastic. And he used the same green ghost design for LOTR later.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Love very much
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
I love squishy gross squishy gory hound Peter jackson (Feebles!) but LOTR is just too important to me. So I can’t fully go there.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
(Some of these are taken from replies) 8. Exorcist 3 is a classic. 9. Jason X is best of the "franchise killer in space" sub-genre. 10. Tremors is a perfect movie. 11. Shaun of the Dead & Slither are the best horror comedies. 12. Prince of Darkness is Carpenter's most underrated movie.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Both of these are GREAT! Stealing them for thread.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Don't make me shush you.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Yeah fair point
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
I would say it's an action movie. One of the best ones.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
6. Child's Play is an underrated franchise. The first two films are both great & up there among the best horror franchise films. 7. Nightmare 4: The Dream Master is very underrated. The water bed & roach motel sequences are up there with the best of Freddy.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Thread. Will be updated as needed. I hold the following horror movie takes to be true: 1. Final Dest is the most consistent franchise. 2. The best films from the major franchises are Dream Warriors & Hellraiser 2. 3. Alien is horror. 4. Silence of the Lambs is horror. 5. Terminator is a slasher.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Btw I am performing at the Excite Center at Parx Casino in Bensalem, PA this Friday. 8 pm show. Buy tickets here: www.axs.com/events/82693...
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
She is 16 and has had one (1) white whisker for two (2) years.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
God would want me to give this plot a chance
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Case in point: bsky.app/profile/npr....
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Case in point: bsky.app/profile/npr....
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
It's a true story. I'm frustrated w Dem leaders. Immigrants like me & my family are being deported & I barely hear Dems on it. I'm proud of my city for standing up to ICE. Why aren't they talking about the assassin's politics? If asking for our leaders to be stronger makes u dislike me, so be it
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Yeah I wouldn’t wanna look ridiculous, Cats for Democracy
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
It's not enough
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
In case this wasn't clear, I am NOT talking about Dem voters being toothless. Loved seeing millions of people on the streets this weekend. I'm talking about politicians and leadership.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
And my social circle is not "wealthy Dems." I clearly said these were people I met at a big fancy event. My social circle is people frustrated with the lack of inspiring leadership right now.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
The fact that you can name the one person who has done something is not a good sign. There are just a handful of Dems speaking & acting forcefully. AOC. Bernie. Newsom, for now. Not enough. Many voted for Noem, for instance. Reading replies to my original tweet shows most share my frustration.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I did an event in DC & there was a party for donors etc after. Was talking to 2 ppl & I said "Things are so bad." They said "No this is how it is. Things swing one way, then another. It's normal." That's when I realized why Dems are toothless. They have no idea what this is. Frogs boiling in water.
NY Times Pitchbot (@nytpitchbot.bsky.social) reposted
Whether it's Democrats putting flyers on Chris Cillizza’s Tesla or Republicans assassinating Democratic lawmakers, it's time for both sides to turn down the temperature.
Tim Onion (@bencollins.bsky.social) reposted
Especially if you're on the fence about it, protest today. Fascism is isolating and lonely. Its very goal is to make you feel like you're the only person unwilling to accept a cult of personality. On days like today you fully realize there are more of us than there are them. You will feel better.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
The picture of the dog in the burning room saying “this is fine” but the dog itself is also on fire and running around and setting fire to every other dog and room in its vicinity.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Keep your kids FAR away from Elephant Man
Mike Ryan (@mikeryan.bsky.social) reposted
We just got into a cab. Vir Rawal , if you see this, we have your diploma
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Please don't make me chooose. From "Good Talk with Anthony Jeselnik" (2019)
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I'm out ✌️ From "The Big Sick" (2017)
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
real bummer finding out that literally everything was on the honor system this whole time
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
I love LA.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy but I still like seeing them fight
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Sitting here searching “travel ban” again. Time is a flat circle.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
Hi hi hi!
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social) reply parent
TBC I absolutely love Iowa and there is no other place I’d rather have had as my first stop in America.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Been almost 30 years of shakin ladies’ hands. Just getting the hang of it
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumail.bsky.social)
Getting to the age where even the people I don't think I've known that long, I've known for like 15 years.