Are dye pack underwear real or did I just give away the best fuckin' idea I'll ever have?
Are dye pack underwear real or did I just give away the best fuckin' idea I'll ever have?
"AHEM...I HAVE A FEW GODDAMN THOUGHTS I'D LIKE TO SHARE..."
In his defense, he's a "real" asshole?!
Unfuckingreal.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE INDIANA JONES?!
"I keep my Bible in a bowl of blood so that none of its lies can affect me."- Slayer
"HEY CHACHI...THEY DON'T SYNDICATE HAND JOBS...YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? RIGHT?!"
I'm having an awful fuckin' day but oh holy shit this made me smile hard.
I live in Kansas- just say the word...
"(purrs)...I'M JUST LIKE THE WICKED WITCH, EXCEPT I'M A STUPID FUCKIN' MORON!""
"LOOKS LIKE ITS GONNA RAIN...DEER."
I'm honestly quite jealous of you right now...!
I was at my social media workspace*- where were you when this story broke? *in my bathroom getting violently high.
Exactly. Guess which dude is getting five bucks from me?!
Cheap Trick is an overlooked American treasure. So fuckin' fantastic..
FUCKING EXACTLY.
Reason For Funding Cancellation (handwritten) Because some racist little bitchboy pedo blew out four fuckin' pairs of adult diapers when someone had the audacity to talk back to him oh oh oh & OHMYGOD that someone is (whispered) BUH-LACK.
I can't definitively say this is a cash grab, but something tells me I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN they're only in it for the dough.
Great. On top of being complete assholes, now we're gonna dress the part.
"HEY, ROT ON HAND...GO MORE FASTER, & HEAD DUE NORTH..."
"...AND THE TRAINS, WE HAVE THE TRAINS RUNNING ON TIME AGAIN..."
Goldfish guitar for the win.
Station wagons RULE for drive-ins! Glad it didn't freak you out! It was always a blast piecing a movie together that you could see on another screen, but not hear..."HMMM, IT WOULD APPEAR SHE'S THE HERO...(young woman is horribly killed by shark)...OR...OR NOT."
Totally agree. Sidebar...so exactly what type of bird should I be on the lookout for?
I do as well. Plus, it gave six year old me the greatest gift ever, the story of my young parents accidentally taking the whole family to see Deliverance.
I'm gonna have to flip a coin.
Ha, right back at ya- I remember that show, barely! Here's one of my backups in case I ever need one, but does the description sound...a little weird?!
The only thing that scares couches more than J.D. Vance is Kentucky fans.
Goddamn it. What a massive fuckin' talent. Rest in peace, man. www.kerrang.com/brent-hinds-...
I am so not remotely into this. I can't imagine how easily all of this could go way the fuck wrong.
He might be raped by Matt Gaetz.
"WHOA, PUMP THE BRAKES THERE, PAL, WE WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS FUCKIN' HALFWIT..."-Klan Guy in front up there
"DEFEND THE HOMELAND... BECAUSE I CANNOT!", hissed the hairless demon, continuing , "FOR I CANNOT EVEN DEFEND MY WIFE FROM THE ADVANCES OF ALPHA MALES & THEIR GLISTENING TAUT ABDOMINAL PLEASURE PACKS!", before turning it's attention back to it's wife's muffled orgasm from underneath AlphaMale69FTOY.
If you throw a handful of these in the toilet, it looks like someone vomited, & it's a great way to introduce yourself to new coworkers.
That's kinda awesome...?!
I don't know who created this @worldbollardassoc.bsky.social, but it's a goddamn riot...
'fealty'- isn't that the Latin root for 'fellatio'?
"No, no, no, you fucking idiot! The cash in the potato chip bag goes to the Irish reporter, & cash inside the bierock goes to the reporter from Nebraska!"
OH FUCK...I AM FUCKING DYING HERE...
I knew something wasn't clicking correctly in my brain, & then I realized we also had them at my high school in Kansas but they were called "yell leaders". Because calling them "cheerleaders" would have made them, you know..."The Ghey" because 1984.
I have a fifteen year old boy & an eighteen year old daughter, & we moved her into her dorm last week for her freshman year. Even just typing that makes me tear up.
Rob Halford, fuckin' legend.
"The birds of hope are everywhere; listen to them.” – Terri Guillemets
...and picking up Band Aid wrappers.
...and I was that guy. Also, no, I didn't make fun of you afterwards. Have you ever heard "Every Breath You Take" by the Police? "oh how my pool hall aches..." So, turns Sting didn't sing that, but I sure sang the fuck outta that.
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO MY MEMBER..."- Putin
Oh, but he swallowed alright.
I'll give you a hint- It starts with "b" & ends in "lowjob."
"WE WILL...MEAT...THEM ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE..."
So...they chose to starve?
FULL DISCLOSURE - I didn't understand all of it, but still...so bad-ass!
I'm about to have a nervous breakdown My head really hurts If I don't find a chicken salad sandwich I'm gonna go berserk
(whispering but doing a terrible job) YES EXACTLY THAT!
Josh Turek- best ad campaign I seen since Jason Kander. This fucking RULES...! www.threads.com/@adamparkhom...
More like "Kevin Sore-Bro'?!”
1- You...beat...me to it!
I bet they're gonna...fork. I WILL SHOW MYSELF OUT.
As much as I hate this motherfucker when I'm high I can't remotely imagine my rage level if/when he does this if I'm NOT high.
Maybe you could do, you know, one of those "Act of God" pinpoint lightning strikes on a cloudless day kinda thing...?
Right?! Like, how do you watch an entire series & NOT notice that?!
Okay, full disclosure, pretty high & in my head Schumer sounds like this kid & is also an aspiring night club comic.
"...a terrified Schummer shakily extends a limb towards the Monolith, only to jump away in fear & screech loudly & repeatedly, ”THE VOTERS ARR'NT INTERESTED IN EPSTEIN, SO LETS TAW'ALK ABOUT THE BIG BEAUTIFUL BOLOGNA. (crickets) SINCE THAT'S WHAT I CAW'WULL IT." (crickets)"
Maybe we could meet in the middle & start putting some leashes on priests? But I would go to church just once to see a Basset hound running the whole thing...”HOW THOUGHTFUL OF YOU KIDS, YOU BROUGHT ME SOME DELIGHTFUL CRACKERS!"
There we go!
Holy shit I am dying over here...
You call him "brother". I call him "hero".
"MAYBE JUST MAYBE IF I'M A SUPER DUPER LUCKY DUCKY HE'LL SEXUALLY ASSAULT ME SOMEDAY...FINGERS CROSSED!”
Chronic Exposure: Prolonged or repeated exposure to sodium carbonate dust may lead to respiratory issues like bronchitis, and skin irritation or dermatitis.
Ingestion: Swallowing large amounts of sodium carbonate can cause severe gastrointestinal distress, including abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, and potentially more serious complications like metabolic alkalosis.
Inhalation: Breathing in sodium carbonate dust can irritate the respiratory tract, potentially causing coughing, shortness of breath, and in severe cases, pulmonary edema or nasal septum perforation.
Potential Harmful Effects: Skin and Eye Contact: Concentrated solutions or solid sodium carbonate can cause irritation, redness, and potentially burns upon contact with skin and eyes.
Holy fuckin' shit. Come into my work kitchen & try that shit. Completely unrelated, but you can convert baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) into sodium carbonate in your home kitchen with only an oven & a scale in case you ever need some for something. Careful, though...! (continue reading below)
You mean THE EPSTEIN FILES GUY?!
So, (EPSTEIN FILES) this fuckin' hypocritical not even half of a wit is (EPSTEIN FILES) now caterwauling (EPSTEIN FILES) about insider training?! Like the kind (EPSTEIN FILES) his fuckin' dip shit offspring engage (EPSTEIN FILES) in?! In closing, EPSTEIN FILES.
I don't even wanna know how much he & his forty eight year old "son's" Erection Detection Boner Alert System is costing us. Probably an arm & a hog leg. HEY-OH!!! HA CHA CHA CHA!!!
"Ireland- Can I Get You a Nice Cup of Go Fuck Yourself? So Remember- Ireland!"
I listen almost exclusively to old hardcore punk & super heavy doom rock but "Suddenly" is easily one of my favorite songs ever, plus this movie is a jam!
Fuckin' A, can the Ludlow Amendment be...like, brought back?!
I lived in Atlanta for seven years, & throwing Waymo into Dante's less appreciated Tenth Circle of Hell aka Spaghetti fucking Junction is the stuff Lovecraft's nightmares are made of.
Fingers crossed I age into a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm.
It's like Simple Jack fucked Rita, the thrice divorced assistant manager in the Garden Department who vapes to look younger & does shots of gin for lunch & nine months later she gave birth to an abortion that is Trump's sense of "style."
"PEOPLE SAID, TRUMP, YOU CAN'T POLISH A TURD, WHICH IS TRUE, BUT YOU CAN SPRAY PAINT ONE, & HERE IS OUR EVEN CLASSIER MORE BETTER FIRST LADY..."
ALT TEXT- a photograph of a gilded toilet that has been used but was not flushed.
I don't know- did Dilbert do any of his own stunt work?
Fuckin' great, just fuckin' lovely. Looks like I need to start growing my own to use at work.
"I'LL TAKE 'FINGERBANG CITY' FOR $200, ALEX..."
"CROSSFIRE- IT'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKIN' DICK OFF! CROSSFIRE!"
I live in Lawrence & can confirm this.
Absolutely worth a few minutes of your time.
"But made of urine instead of money, so...more better?!"
"THE RADICAL LEFT WOKEISTS HAVE STOLE TWO MINUTES! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER!"
FULL DISCLOSURE- it's been twenty four hours & I'm still laughing about this...a horse. In goddamn jeans. More art.
HOW IN THE FUCK HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS?! THANK YOU!
"STILL, THOUGH...I FELT BETTER FOR A FEW MINUTES AT LEAST..."
As an elderly longboarding enthusiast, I couldn't be more stoked about this...GO LADIES!
Call me cynical, but it feels like a set-up to fuck Zelenskyy over...
