OK fine but can he go back to avoiding the public again please
mess with crabby, get the stabby
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OK fine but can he go back to avoiding the public again please
“Alas, I am surrounded. You must fight on, gentlemen, I fear that it is too late for me. Now come and get me you savages, we shall travel to Hell together!”
Pritzker: "It breaks my heart to report that we have been told ICE will try to disrupt community picnics and peaceful parades. Let's be clear -- the terror and cruelty is the point, not the safety of anybody living here."
Pritzker: When did we become a country where it's okay for the president to insist on national television that a state should call him to beg for anything, especially something we don't want? Have we truly lost all sense of sanity in this nation that we treat this as normal?
Pritzker: Any rational person who has spent even the most minimal amount of time studying human history has to ask themselves one important question: Once they get the citizens of this nation comfortable with the current atrocities committed under the color of law, what comes next
Pritzker: "I refuse to pretend that any of this is normal ... I refuse to fall into the pundit trap that demands we sacrifice vital constitutional rights if it's being done in the fake guise of fighting crime."
Pritzker: "Any rational person who has spent even the most minimal amount of time studying human history has to ask themselves one important question: once they get the citizens of this nation comfortable with the current atrocities committed under the color of law, what comes next?"
Pritzker: "He has no idea what's he's talking about. There is no emergency that warrants deployment of troops. He is insulting the people of Chicago by calling our home a hellhole, and anyone that takes his word at face value is insulting Chicagoans too."
Still holding out hope the letter 7 year old Scotch sent to @markhamillofficial.bsky.social gets read and he comes to my house and lets me ride in his X-Wing.
My friend and I are still waiting for him to adopt us and take us to meet Chewie. We're 56 now, but better late than never, @markhamillofficial.bsky.social
Wait, Hold On 😂
because everything is fucking stupid and horrible and soul crushing and vile and depressing, I submit this photo of me meeting Weird Al Yankovic a few days ago after his show in LA
Pretty sure Miller only gnaws on human femurs.
Get in loser, we’re going to the Scholastic Book Fair.
hear me out. we bury him this weekend dead or alive
CDC rebranding to Corpse Disposal Committee
This tracks- my dad used to give me those things when I was a kid. That's not the reason we are estranged, but maybe it should be, because now I crave those damn things.
Greetings! I’m at the Evergreen Building in Burbank, where several dozen Jewish Voice for Peace demonstrators are protesting in the lobby. They say Schiff’s new office will be here soon, though I haven’t been able to independently verify his opening Burbank office is in this building.
Greetings! I’m here at Metro Detention Centee, the site of a 24/7 protest in Los Angeles. Just got here, a dispersal order is being announced via loudspeaker by DHS.
not trusting ppl has saved my life so many fucking x
One thing that RFK Jr, Elon Musk, and Stephen Miller have taught me. Fellas, we can find someone. If they can, anyone can.
Larry David should do one single reunion episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm called “The Death of Cheryl” about the character dying of measIes.
RFK Jr joined the fight on deadly diseases on the side of deadly diseases.
Just another night in L.A. that won't make it onto mainstream news...
What a ridiculous person.
It's okay to just dislike something. You don't have to invent a whole fake reason to justify it. You can just be like "Ehhh, that's not for me." And it's fine.
“Sir, we don’t often make this award posthumously. But what your death has contributed to the world is unprecedented. We thank you for leaving us.” -the Nobel committee upon his death
And I am the world's foremost astrophysicist ballerina who invented the piano, aspirin, and appetizers.
MAGA: "Go woke, go br—oh, never mind. . ."
Dear Adobe, I don't require an AI assistant jumping in and offering to help scan and summarize a one-page PDF that requires a simple signature. Fuck right off with your intrusive Clippy wannabe nonsense. Warmest regards.
As two things we rely on for our immediate survival, it’s shocking how horrible humans treat air and water.
AI is a blight, but I still laughed at this.
That's great, now talk about where the waste is stored and the devastating effects of power plant malfunctions.
Let the malty undertones and brimstone contortions of hell wash over you as the ground opens up and the room is bathed in hellish heat and red ambiance.🎶 Dancing Queen🎶 begins playing
Jones: I want to bring theology into this because you have all these people that want to give thoughts and prayers. But I was a minister, and that is a form of theological malpractice—when you pray for something you have the power to change.
I said this as soon as that horseshit started, and was labeled a conspiracy theorist. Fun fact: people sensing something in advance of the proof aren't your enemy. Maybe wait before rushing to label people who make you feel uncomfortable because they see what you don't.
Perhaps that's because Harris voters are more likely to have gone to therapy and have a grasp of personal boundaries, unlike many conservative voters.
Isn't it telling how all the eugenics dudes look like this, yet somehow think of themselves as genetically superior?
RFK Jr looks like he’s been sampling the diseases at the CDC
It's so annoying that they automatically opted everyone into this. It's awful and has zero utility.
I wonder if he bought that shirt from Amazon or had it made on Redbubble. It's not a secret if you're wearing it on your shirt, buddy. Also, real Secret Service agents would know that being "Federal" doesn't overrule state and city ordinances about possessing marijuana.
It could be because some ads are still running on the contract paid for months ago, and also could be because some states are ignoring the administration's horseshit and trying to get more people vaccinated before they run out of supplies.
They call it broken window policing but they never care to mention it's the cops that break the windows
NEW: A federal judge ordered an Arkansas school district to take down Ten Commandments displays in its classrooms following our lawsuit.
CNN is no better than Fox. It’s a propaganda tool they put this man on night after night so that he can do the same thing that Fox does to the Maga cult turn that shit off.
I stand with Chicago. I stand with Mayor Johnson. 🚨 NEW: Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson just signed an executive order to resist Trump’s federal invasion and occupation of the city. Details in 🧵
live your life in such a way that millions of people don’t joyfully await your demise
Ouch…
Dear Americans, welcome to the thrilling game of ‘Did this dictator die or just disappear for a day?’ We’ve been playing it with Putin and Lukashenko for decades. Enjoy the suspense.
If prayer really worked, I would have woken up to an enormous headline this morning.
Only the best experts for 47.
Good.
Shit! Not yet.
Melania tomorrow afternoon.
The other hand is bruised now, so people are feeling optimistic.
Live your life such that everyone doesn’t spend ten solid years planning the rager they’re going to throw when you die.
I’m just saying that when it happens I’m jumping out of bed, running to my window, and tossing a coin to a boy to buy the biggest goose in town
even if he isn't dead, cremate him anyway
"that's not nice, what if people wished you were dead?" well, that would finally be one thing we had in common then
welp, Melania just asked Justin Trudeau to be her plus one at the funeral
His last words were "Covfefe." Historians believe this was the name of his beloved childhood sled.
Bedtime prayer If Trump should die Before I wake I pray O Lord That news ain’t fake
He's confirming that everything is going according to plan...
#blackwomen #blackhistory #blackpoets #blacksky #addtoblacksky
The jokes write themselves...
I can see in his face that he's batshit crazy.
Hi, immunologist here: (a scientist who studies immune & inflammatory processes) RFK Jr is talking absolute bullshit when he says he can “see in kids faces that they have inflammation” That’s NOT how immunology works. He is an anti-science profiteer. Start calling him such.
Thou shalt not listen to a damn thing that RFK Jr. says.
Here's some good news: Catelin Drey won a special election this week to flip a seat blue in the Iowa Senate and break Republicans' supermajority.
Exactly. The gases later used in concentration camps were tested on them first. My coworker's aunt disappeared, along with everyone in her group home.
I wish there really was a Hell, so every fucking ICE agent could burn in it eternally.
NEW: Kilmar Abrego Garcia is asking a federal judge for a gag order against Kristi Noem, Pam Bondi and their subordinates. w/ @joshgerstein.bsky.social www.politico.com/news/2025/08...
Every time one of the PE coaches blows their whistle on the middle school campus where I work, I think of Unseen Academicals.
Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman. - Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
On 27th August 2015, The Shepherd's Crown, the last book Sir Terry Pratchett completed before he died, was published. To mark the ten year anniversary, we have a message from Rob Wilkins:
Same. I could get on way back when it was doing its first test run, but haven't been able to get on since.
And then again at 5:00 a.m. on my day off. 🙄
My bladder wakes me up at 3 am like a vengeful spirit
All bodies are good bodies. Take pride in your scales and razor-sharp claws. Your dozens of pulsing eyes, blacker than the void itself, are lovely. Don’t be ashamed of your enormous tentacles, moist and writhing as you grope for a billionaire’s yacht. To me you are perfect.
Yes I heard your horn the first time a split second after the light turned green. Why do you think I'm typing this.
*Michael McDonald voice* taken' it to the skeets
Gavin Newsom responds to a completely fake Vanity Fair cover being spread by MAGA, who think it is real
Blocking me harshes your mellow.
Let's see you at 21
Gettin' real tired of these ICEholes. They abducted a woman near my job 2 days ago, smashing her window in to unlock her car and drag her out. If you think you can fence sit because it won't happen where you live or to someone you know, wake the fuck up!
I'm actually three kind on the weekends.
who called them men’s compression tights and not manlyhose
an AI app that kills the person who decides to use it
I was not kidding
opening a Spirit Halloween where my patience used to be
“I’ve still got it,” I boast, referring to my anxiety and depression
look, America may be a fascist dictatorship catering to the corrupt, but at least everything else is insufferable as well
the year is 2026. America’s population now only consists entirely of heterosexual white conservative men with AI chatbot girlfriends. the bloated, putrefied corpse of Donald Trump remains seated in the White House, gathering swarms of flies and maggots, both of which help to sustain Stephen Miller
OneSerenityNow 