just look up at the stars
idk I literally just got here link.slop.guru
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just look up at the stars
applying for jobs in 2025
“hard-r with jar jar” folks the jokes write themselves
if jar jar binks were alive today he would be a right wing podcaster
[psychiatrist trying to hide serious concern as they scribble notes] are the party rockers in the house with us tonight?
i hear they’re working on new technologies
what if people were allowed to be a little silly with it online
at 2pm tomorrow the president will share his tier rankings of rory gilmore’s boyfriends in gilmore girls from the rose garden
few things more disheartening than realizing tomorrow is a monday despite today being monday
and boy are my arms tired
it is too late
doctor said i have sweet treat fever and gave me 45 minutes to live
won’t somebody think of the investors
hmmm sounds like a baby wrote this
he looks like the recipient of the world’s first partially successful face transplant
oh he looks like he’s melting that’s tight
what ever happened to super producer scott storch
huge fan of his work
Mark Buffalo
my haters have acquired next-generation hater technology in violation of international treaties
don’t listen to me i was hitting the weed pen when i wrote this
this is a super normal thing that healthy people commonly say without prompting
got my psychiatrist cornered on top of the bookshelf and he’s trying to throw xanax into my mouth like a carnival game
this one!
this is how the pilgrims did it
the weed pen is too online, too connected, too gen z
connecting with my ancestors (grinding up regular weed by hand and packing a bowl and lighting it on fire)
guilty
marley & me
thanks for your post! this is a joke. hope that helps
i shudder to think
your what account
it’s just a regular joke actually
you can’t even make jokes on this website anymore
playing the bedpan like a steel drum
nobody has seen the president in three days [burping and rubbing my president shaped tummy] that’s crazy
if he’s not dead i hope he’s been locked in the bathroom blasting the craziest diarrhea on earth for the last 3 days straight
are the bsky server farms cage-free
disappointing
big fan of his work
wow. can’t believe it but just got word the rumors are true extra toasted cheez its are better than the original
are you telling me *it* happened or is this all one big bit
oh shit he’s right behind me isn’t he
sorry i don’t speak spanish
forever locked in my mind palace
they’re coming for me
“hi i’m here to have you take a look at-“ “bring me the 10 blade 😇”
dermatologists are way too fucking trigger happy with the scalpel i swear to god
would
tom clancy’s sisterhood of the traveling pants
there are at least three other crimes we should probably focus on first
telling my cat i am going to bake him into a loaf of bread in my customer service voice
barking outside your window like DMX
many are saying this
*burps and rubs my tummy*
going to start calling plain water "0% milk"
out: rough poop in: trauma dump
the rusty trombone of justice rarely arrives lubed
not enough, it will never be enough
love this website
hole-y trinity fuck i whiffed that so bad
the holy trinity
sometimes you poop, sometimes you shit, sometimes you crap does that make sense
a bong that fires the rod gun directly into your forehead when you pull the bowl
this and the pneumatic rod gun from no country for old men
we made homemade ketchup at our beef tallow restaurant to serve with our teriyaki chicken which has no soy sauce or sugar
that is the turn signal, but it controls the blinker
food $200 data $150 rent $800 beef tallow $36,000 utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
now we’re talkin
you might be surprised
damn really makes you think
[shouting incoherently as the state trooper ducks my head into the backseat of the patrol vehicle]
hence “talking shit”
not sure if i believe it personally
they’re saying feet are the hands of the legs
some of you may be surprised to hear i’ve been smackin weed this evening
what country is the sour patch in where they keep finding these delicious kids
has this been done?
thought of a great new trick where i say i’m sick in order to avoid working on a monday, but i’m actually not sick
When homie prepares the series of trials
i avoid sunday scaries like everyone else: crashing out on bsky dot app
how do i get the invite
all the good ones
centuries ago, our two nations lived in harmony
sand is interesting looking into this
where and how do i get access to
just talked to maslow new hierarchy of needs about to drop
put all my eggs in one basket? you fool. you absolute idiot. i have hidden my eggs in locations across the globe you can’t even conceive of
my priorities
viscosity mostly i think
yep, i started out as a soup
are you going to share with the class
HOLY SHIT
they haven’t invented a new soup in a while
big turkey leg only valid answer
