"Cletus done gone and git himself a new job teachin' ciphering"
Gratefully freed from the tiny hands of the worst president in U.S. history.
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"Cletus done gone and git himself a new job teachin' ciphering"
How dim would someone have to be to believe this exclusively digital creature, desperate for any mention or media, with an unlimited budget for toadies and Big Balls look-alikes, didn't know?
In fairness, he's vaccinated, so ...
Donald Trump viewing Washington DC from Virginia, 1874.
"People are saying 4th, maybe even 5th World. But it's one of the bad ones and probably a world record, believe me."
"And by criminals, I of course mean THOSE PEOPLE."
Ensign's should really just be honest: "How do I say something, your honor, that will allow Stephen Miller to wank to it?"
Ironically, it happened when he was crushed under the weight of his tax returns, which have been under audit for 117 years. Believe me.
I can't believe everyone isn't pointing to the clearly obvious facts. He's out fighting crime on the streets of Washington DC as Batman
Unless it was him being smacked by a busload of school children.
There is no video of Stephen Miller I would ever consider unmuting.
These are total lies. Hormel's new "Happy Hometown Half-Ouncer" packs are just .99 cents each. Suck on it, libs.
This is a 40 year old man, people. Hate'll f you up.
They're all just so f'ing weird.
"Because of the free on the job training in animal husbandry, deluxe room & board that slave received from General Lee, it's very likely he could've gone on to win a future Kentucky Derby, if he'd only put a little more effort into it." - Future narration at Trump's Smithsonian Musuem of White Folks
But her district has heard of her and she wins by .02% in 2026. They pay no price ... always by the thinnest of margins. It's diabolical how close we've come on every vote, and yet - they win.
Jerry Jones and Donald Trump ... birds of a feather.
In retrospect, I'm just surprised Marco Rubio didn't get the job. He has all the other ones.
Why? I get all my serious infectious disease guidance from my broker.
"You better not do it, Vladimir."
There's not a single 7-Eleven in America managed as poorly as America itself.
They're going to make Grandpa do it himself
I can tell by just looking at him.
Or not.
More of this. Less of damn near everything else.
Legal Grindr absolutely is a thing.
Yes, but are they doing it "powerfully and bigly strong?"
Assuming the worms aren't very discerning.
"For example, if I wanted to totally shit myself as I sit here, it is my absolute right, and Marco would have to just sit there and take it. Ask me how I know."
5, if you count fluffer.
If you asked Trump, right now, if he personally ended the Battle of Hastings ... the odds of him saying "100%. IT WAS A GREAT, BIG, BEAUTIFUL END THAT LIKES OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN. AND HONESTLY, IT WASN'T HARD" are greater than 75-80%.
Imagine taking a 14 hour flight to sit in a glorified Hobby Lobby and listen to this nitwit explain your country's history. #MAGAsplaining
Likely delivered by Tim Cook.
I visited one with my NC relatives in July. You know this will be on the Oval Office mantel this coming Easter.
"Could I borrow that dog picture for a sec?" - Director of Homeland Photography, Kristi Noem
MAGA: "Finally, a president smart enough to own the means of production! DA, IS GOOD!"
25th NOW.
Maybe the real wars were the covfefe we all made along the way?
This is only for Walmarts in Mexico, though. They're paying the tariffs, and building the wall ...
Pete Thiel is indeed an avatar.
These jokers are going to have a hell of a time with their grand juries.
I do believe Americans see through him, though. Call me a cockeyed optometrist.
Looking back to his childhood, I suspect he wasn't a very clever pupil.
I'm really quite cross. It bugs me.
Eye'd think he could see his way clear to not take such a myopic view.
I thought Dobbs was dead.
Marvel has completely jumped the shark food.
Ed Martin is, with all due respect, a ginormous weenie.
Great liar, though. Maybe the best.
And speller. And speaker. And reader. And dresser. And father. And husband. And leader.
He's a bad guesser.
And I'd just like to say right now I don't know what Stubhun is ... I typed Stubhub ...
We bought tickets for the Kennedy Center last year before Yo-semite Sam was re-elected and turned the place into Broadway Mar-a-Lago. Tickets for this year's "Best Broadway Revival" production of Parade on Saturday evening are going for, wait for it, $16 on Stubhun, Dead Center Orchestra.
"Concepts of a big long 250 page trading agreement"
Listen, the guy has ended 1,654 wars since breakfast. I think he deserves a little latitude.
Left
"Paging Gavin Newsom on line 1, Mr. Newsom, your dipshit is ready."
I have 3/5ths of a mind to mail this clown a King-sized white sheet.
I talked to Jesus just now and his response was: "Not this mfer, again."
7 Wars for 7 Dipshits
Actually, Scott, it's more like inviting your uncontrollable neighbor to your house and showing them you have no intention of releasing the Epstein files.
When you're an idiot, you assume your entire audience are idiots as well.
100% of Trump's worldview is fantasy. He's wholly vacuous regarding facts, maps, environment, the word Yosemite, how batteries & windmills work, history, religion, books, math, empathy, reason or logic. But the bastard knows exactly how to manipulate stupid people unlike anyone who has ever lived.
"HEY KID, THIS IS JOE BIDEN'S GRASS ... IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING PAID YOU BETTER CALL SLEEPY JOE, NOT ME. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!"
The secret BIG REPTILE doesn't want you to know.
And by elevator pitches he means coloring books
Maybe Michigan can name him their Dipshit of the Year.
After reading a substantial number of position papers in historical documents about Belarus, Trump came to a new enlightened position. Just kidding, Trump couldn't identify Florida on a map.
Day 1, huh, dipshit?
"What if we had a press conference and said absolutely the square root of fuck all?" "Let's go with it."
So. Literally, NOTHING.
"The hottest country in the world." This oaf.
LOL. If Trump had been president I would never have decided to attack Ukraine is the tell
If only the Supreme Court would have taken their oath seriously.
If he'd agree to quit the presidency and destroy his phone, I'd nominate him to be Jesus 2.0
Too bad they waited until Congress gave him hundreds of billions to hire a paramilitary force and buy off the Supreme Court. He could G-A-F about his polls at this point. He's King, dumbasses, they don't worry about the peasants.
I'm given to understand it was going to be Medicaid recipients?
FIFA = "Fuck I Found ATrophy"
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS BLATHER!
This is from Madame Tussauds™ Pyongyang, and I won't be convinced otherwise.
"Check the Tariff Shelf" immediately enters the lexicon at my house. My kids are going to hate it.
Actual footage of Markwayne Johnson, standing guard over DC.
Just be honest. You blew them on Led Zepplin cds and Tikka Masala.
He should tap into his strategic American bullshit reserve. It's apparently limitless.
Pam Bondi installed that same fencing to keep Kash Patel from accessing the Epstein files.
He's going to exhume Limbaugh, isn't he?
Today is Wednesday, August 13, 2025 at 5:06 pm EDT and this is your regular reminder that Kari Lake has STILL never been elected or appointed to anything. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
"HEY KID! DO YOU WANT TO SEE SOME REALLY CHEAP WALLPAPER??!!??"
So zero, then?
Maybe he got a box of new Crayolas and just wrote it for fun like a big boy?
They think this is the OK Corral.
100% the same vibe ... "I don't know about that." youtu.be/YvT_gqs5ETk?...
You can't cherry pick art.
That is one cold burn on Loomer. I wonder what the windshield factor is over there.
Can confirm. These numbers come straight from which ever member of The Village People Trump has tapped to oversee the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
America is replete with weirdos.
"Concepts of an idea of a belief, in two weeks, we'll see what happens."
