Some old forum post said that you can swallow scissors whole, so long as you are willing to take a “sharp crap.” swanboy.com/comic/foruma...
Neither funny nor fun. Honestly not sure why you’d follow me. Anybody upset about pronouns in a bio deserves to be upset (he/him).
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Some old forum post said that you can swallow scissors whole, so long as you are willing to take a “sharp crap.” swanboy.com/comic/foruma...
Thanks, that’s exactly what I didn’t know.
Wait, what are the obvious reasons? Is it a crime to bet on the death of a public figure (makes sense, as it may encourage assassination attempts)? Or there some other reason I’m missing entirely?
I’m not a big basketball guy, but I agree. That being said, “guy who’s mad that athletes in a sport comprised largely of Black men (some of whom have publicly advocated for Black issues) get paid to play a game while conservative Christians can’t go to church” seems like a kind of guy that exists.
Is he mad that the NBA played in a bubble?
Question: What "liberal-coded institutions" were kept open during COVID while churches—for sake of argument, pretend they're all conservative—were closed? Universities closed, Hollywood shut down production, unions met on Zoom, progressives avoided indoor gatherings. So... which institutions?
Took me a minute to grasp what is being said here, but I’m pretty sure it’s something along the lines of “They are asking an opinion in a multiple choice question, which implies there is a singular correct response.”
That’s a very good point. My bad. (And thanks for providing the framework, exactly what I was asking about.)
Untrue. He could also stop rumors about his health if he died.
Or to put it another way, they thrive because their target audience takes those “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” posters to heart. If only out of convenience because they effing hated anything more complex in school than what they did in 4th grade.
Legit question: is that level of nuance generally taught to middle schoolers? I think that a lot of how PragerU frames itself successfully is by pushing to a grade-school level of detail (which is generally when most of their audience LAST retained anything from school).
BREAKING: President Trump signs new executive order declaring “You have to be nice to me.”
Oh shit, he’s DYING dying, huh?
All the lines oscillate: is that because of the length of the daylight changing over the course of the year with the seasons?
If it’s “smote by God” I might never stop laughing.
The way you hit the word “stuff.” I can’t articulate why, but comedy gold!
All those rumblings that Trump is dying sound a lot more plausible if they’re letting this dude get on camera…
The average American simply has no idea how quickly the infrastructure that keeps us safe and healthy is collapsing. These systems run in the background thanks to government employees who quietly do critical work. Those employees are being purged and systems are being destroyed.
This is a poorly framed question. Lots of conservatives would cut off a family member for being LGBT, for example, but that doesn’t clock as a ‘political view’ to them. Also, the narrative that leftists cut off their conservative family members too easily is extremely widespread on the right.
He’s not even a legitimate couch-fucker. So what even IS HE?
He’s embarrassed by the massive bruises on his powerful, virile hands.
Trump for SURE had some deeply-held beliefs. For instance, he fucking HATES windmills and fucking LOVES being an asshole.
Guy with uncontrolled chronic diarrhea: “haha, shows what YOU know, Hippo!”
Crowns are for monarchs, and monarchs need to be eradicated.
“One of” is doing SO much heavy lifting here. Like, it would be easier to lift the Milky Way Galaxy on your right shoulder, I think.
You’re thinking of the hokey-pokey. But this is still a good idea.
To be fair, that was a catchphrase of Ben Shapiro, and Trump doesn’t give a single, solitary, liquid shart about that guy at all.
Interesting choice for the USAF to give a fancy little parade for a public toilet.
They totally are, by the way. I’ve had multiple conservative friends (thankfully nobody particularly close) shut me out of their life entirely because I refuse to concede to any of the stuff I KNOW is bullshit.
That’s only because this is the closest thing to important journalism they are allowed to do. And for many of them, this is also the apex of their abilities, too.
Joni Ernst ran for Senate vowing to combat sexual assault in the military. She won, and proceeded to do some work towards that goal. Then she supported a rapist for president and voted to confirm a rapist as Secretary of Defense, and with that legacy, retired.
What's fun is that when I leave a voicemail for my senator saying stuff like, "He thinks he can see into the mitochondrial conditions of children at the airport" and "And the new guy was on camera saying it should be legal for people to sell their kidneys," I sound like *I'm* the crazy person.
There's not really any way to explain the esoteric neo-Nazi death cult the Minneapolis shooter was part of without sounding like a complete lunatic, which sucks because all the people who want to turn this into Transphobia Kristalnacht don't care about sounding like lunatics at all.
Did she get a job offer in the Trump Admin yet, or…?
But doctor, I AM the biggest guy in town!!!
Wait, you’re saying “punching yourself in the face” is a good investment? Tell me more…
One thing that Zohran shares among Dems that have had a positive spotlight recently (like Pritzker and Walz) is a very plainspoken "it doesn't have to be bad" style. They don't do the thing where they twist themselves in knots trying to appease seven different poll group demographics at once.
This is one of the ways that white supremacy weaponizes civility: by implying that certain people get to be served, and other kinds of people (you know what kinds) need to be grateful, without interrogating it.
I mean, it was literally what he campaigned on doing, so…
Well, I hope Mike Johnson shits himself 100x in increasingly embarrassing and inconvenient ways.
We can no longer rely on good faith to govern. That will have long-term implications.
Honestly, I think this sort of gets the message across better than actually knowing what you were replying to.
My big idea for a think tank is what if political analysts, but they’ve met at least three people
“Thank you, Ms. Leavitt, but you aren’t being paid to think.”
Loudly declaring everything an emergency, like the world’s least competent panicking coward?
I got a wild idea, instead of explaining all 151 phrases on the mass murderer's guns, why don't we explain the online subcultures that's turning young people into mass murderers.
Tom Clancy’s Tom Clancy’s Clear And Present Danger.
Why the fuck are we interviewing 10 year old kids after a mass shooting in their school? What does this accomplish? I'm sorry, but this is an abomination
The man has the aesthetic tastes of an elderly Saddam Hussein.
I mean, how is it possible that every conservative online knows like, eight people who have died from or been severely maimed by the vaccine, while none of us know any? Since it's definitely not possible that they are just making that shit up, perhaps they are being targeted somehow.
The story of Trumpism is that US voters voted for pogroms for essentially no reason at all.
They weaponized fear in the most fragile, coddled, and armed people while they sit in their offices with bulletproof glass and armed guards because they don’t care that it’s less safe to be a child in school than it is to be a senator or lobbyist. Fuck their thoughts and prayers.
Somebody tell Gowdy that we had this conversation many, MANY times (including when he was an elected legislator), and the answer Republicans decided on was “infinite.”
Prefer Pritzker to Newsom for a lot of reasons but I like how he can go on the offensive against Trump without posting an AI generated meme of himself wearing a crown
Notice how he’s talking about his constituents and not himself, almost like the job is to be their public servant
If I’m honest, that’s HUGE for me. Anytime I see some politician posting an image of themselves as a monarch, I have to fight my natural instinct to start posting stuff that would put me on a watchlist.
its crazy how much trump hates these people and how little respect he has for them
He is the Platonic Ideal of “divorced guy (who also sucks, just, SO BAD).”
Be sure to thank the editorial board for their help in causing all this…
Is that how he got that gnarly bruise on his hand?
The state decided it wants to crush just one guy who *didn't do anything wrong*. They picked Kilmar Abrego Garcia because they thought he'd be an unsympathetic target for their abuses. They put in little effort and it turns out he wasn't, that made them look bad, and they're taking it out on him.
This emoji just tried to sell my kid an off-brand Paul-Brothers-Flavored Lunchables….
Cool, please release all text message data shared by DHA agents since May of this year.
It remains true that something I genuinely miss about NoVA was functional public transit.
Okay, Mr. President, prove it: have Stephen Miller hanged on the White House lawn.
If Obama or Biden had said this, it would be rightfully understood as them arrogating dictatorial authority to themselves, it would be the only thing anyone in the media or opposition would talk about for a year, and it would probably end their presidency. For Trump, it’s literally just Tuesday.
“I can do anything I want, I’m the president of the United States!” Then why don’t you try not being a loser?
No amount of appearing reasonable and trying to avoid provoking them will stop them from escalating against you. The only thing you'll do is inspire revulsion in everyone else: if you won't even stand up for yourself how can you stand up for anyone else
And then the president ate a live baby, right on camera, with a monographed knife and fork made of 12K gold.
Holy shit.
If Trump were operating in the best interests of America's businesses, his move to fire Lisa Cook would cause stocks to shrug, or maybe rise. But they're saying: This is dangerous. This move serves Trump, but not America. Our economy is at risk when the President undermines the Fed.
I would urge against referring to what is happening to Kilmar as a deportation. When people are deported, they are sent to their home country or "country of origin." What is happening to Kilmar and many others under the Trump administration is... something else entirely.
I haven't seen it emphasized enough, but it's important to take a step back from Trump's ongoing seizure of autocratic power to see it's all emergency politics. All of it. The Constitution is being suspended bit by bit the same way autocrats have always eliminated them: declaring fake emergencies.
O’Brien: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever.” Some chud wearing boots because he is too insecure in his masculinity to do anything with his life except cosplay a paramilitary aesthetic: “fuck yeah, sounds awesome.”
Stephen Miller is a giant fucking crybaby pissboy bitch, confirmed.
God, I suddenly want nothing more than for somebody to hand him a phone book to rip in half to prove his strength.
I’m not curious: he would call them “fake” or something along those lines, and do a little song-and-dance to discredit them, while also talking about how “real” Christians all say he is the best president ever.
Well, he DID offer him a golf cart.
Unable to cure his lust for cruelty, President Trump signs an EO that will strategically target Scout troops nationwide who have been asked by neighbors, schools, and libraries to retire old flags in a tasteful ceremony.
This is how you know Troy Barnes was one of the good guys.
That second part! That’s the best take I’ve seen about Cuban’s dumbass post.
Not necessarily an IV. At his age, bruising happens a lot just in life. Especially on the hands and arms, which interact with the world a lot. Especially if you’re taking blood thinning medication (very common in that age bracket). It’s sort of the geriatric equivalent of breaking a nail.
WordleBot defeated!
Riding the metro in recent days in DC, I came across small groups of National Guard members. Invariably, they were standing in a little circle chatting, not paying attention to anyone but each other and otherwise doing nothing. If any crisis happens, it will be because Trump and Hegseth created it.
Public transit?!
Does…does JD Vance want to drop nukes on Chicago?
If you need to compliment the head of state to have a free and fair election, you don’t have free and fair elections.
Destruction of evidence creates a presumption that the lost information is maximally incriminating, approximating outright admission of guilt
“Where are the protests????!!” The whole city is screaming at feds every time we step outside.
Hey, as long as we are doing poorly-constructed hypotheticals…
Well, what reason could we possibly have to suspect Jim Jordan would pretend to turn a blind eye about sexual assault?
Christopher Rufo? The guy from the Ashley Madison leak?
Nichols’ primary skill in the political sphere was scolding Democrats, and he’s not about to give that up just because he’s been jettisoned from the Republican Party as irrelevant to their interests.
WordleBot defeated!
Maybe we should care less about "Dems", whatever the fuck that means, using high fluting words and more on the fact that Trump and co are using Schmittian language to call queer people, immigrants and others subhumans worthy of extermination. One of those seems like a bigger fucking deal to me!
Biden didn’t talk like that, didn’t get any additional voters. Newsom is going out of his way to NOT talk like that, and is deeply unpopular with conservative-leaning voters. They aren’t gettable votes! Don’t throw out gettable votes chasing voters who will never vote for you!
This is just textbook 1930’s fascism
One accurate way of understanding this is that online extremists have direct contacts with the head of the FBI, who will fire the FBI agents they identify, even though it is against the law. Any principled agents who resist will also be fired. Same pattern holds broadly across lots of the govt
Whey Standard 