Eagle Beaver Man
@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social
3 rules of Fascism: 1. Fascism exists in a state of permanent crisis 2. Fascism’s intentional incoherence is a loyalty test 3. Fascism will grow more extreme militarist pacifist. Socialist Financier. Bi. Building models of a world that we may wanna live in
created November 11, 2024
208 followers 282 following 598 posts
view profile on Bluesky Posts
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It’s gonna need to happen but people aren’t gonna like how long it’s gonna take. There’s really no short term solution to a third of the population believing windmills gave their son gay immigrant cancer and any attempts at shortcuts are basically guaranteed to backfire.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
My last sentence was facetious but I think that a state-run Khan academy would be beneficial. I also think post-degree certs should be subsidized, letting people take a 6 week course either to stay on top of advancements in their field or in something new for free would be cool.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
These people always exist but are usually 10-20% of the electorate & are evenly distributed across the political spectrum. Algorithmitizing bullshit has grown that number to 35% and the crank realignment has put them all in the same party. One solution, force them all back to high school biology.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Bro really just fleeced them for 50 million and then just called cover zero every play until end of regulation. Incredible.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
History is a story of forces and trends, yes. But sometimes those forces converge to a set of narrow inflection points, where a few key events determine all that follows. The people of Kyiv not just taking up arms but organizing themselves and fighting both voraciously and skillfully is one of them.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
“Yeah so blueanons who think Kamala needs to stop the steal are turning an imperialist attack dog for Turkey that made a theme park dedicated to teaching kids how to kill Armenians into their Palestine” “What”
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Boutique blueanon cults gotta be the weirdest part of our zeitgeist ngl
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Not a chance, he’s gonna announce some sort of aggressive action towards Venezuela.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
For some reason they don’t count it as winning if republicans aren’t happy but they’re never happy even when they’re in charge so they can never win
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
A key aspect of Herbert’s DUNE (before his son ruined it)’s AI wars were that it wasn’t the AI that was driving the conflict, it was the people who controlled their algorithms in order to control people, not help them. A manipulative robot helps you control people, it actually being useful doesn’t.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
RFK was spotted in the equipment room with a divining rod and some garlic cloves
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Every Dem partisan is at 2 extremes, the centrist consultant “republicans are smol beans whose beliefs like windmills have my son gay immigrant cancer should be respected…or maybe even adopted” or the blueanon “I want red staters to die of preventable illness” & surely those aren’t the only options
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
BORTAC, aka FBIHRT for guys whose office bookshelf is made up entirely of 200 copies of the Turner Diaries
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I was genuinely worried he was a peacenik/soft tankie type. It is genuinely so hard to find a popular leftist without dogshit or at least inconsistent foreign policy stances so I was recoiling before the hit because it’s all I know
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh. OH. OH YEAH.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It’s a binary choice between an angered China & a heap of American corpses. Shore-based ASM/AA batteries & airfields will sink ships & shoot down aircraft if not serviced & the American public will be subjected to our first mass casualty incident since Vietnam. Not that mass cas is avoidable anyway.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
When Nordstream was being inked, you could flip on any Kremlin state TV channel and find extremely detailed breakdowns of how Russia would covertly destroy various European capitals, with varying degrees of realism. We were always at war with them, we just chose not to see it.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
This is your captain speaking, if you hear a light rustle that’s just grain stalks tickling the bottom of our fuselage, don’t worry about it.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Russia is being forcibly demechanized by a country with the GDP of Arkansas
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Real life used to operate on video game logic where if you weren’t seen when the crime happened or ran away long enough you got away with it
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
“But you’ll die if there’s a fire and the firefighters have to come get you” yeah that’s how I’d wanna die if I had a wacky cartoon house, it would only be fitting to be consumed by my own hubristic creation
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
What a valiant story of selfless heroism, crazy how literally none of it happened
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
He only hangs out with guys who were fired for recordings surfacing of them using the n word. It is literally the only type of person he likes hanging out with
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
When these discourses pop up I always wonder how these people even go out in public
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
The intentional incoherence is a loyalty test
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
“Woah, that mortar concussion really knocked your head there. What are you saying? Gay catboy Neo Nazis? AI girlfriends? HHS doesn’t believe in germs? My brother in Christ what are you talking about, you’re in a trench in new Antioch and they just blew the whistle. Get ready to go over the top.”
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Decided to wake up and choose violence today I see
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It didn’t take much for them to say the quiet part out loud. Two people I was close to went from crunchy granola types to antivaxxers to full on Trumpers in the span of about 18 months. I guess it was always a reactionary pathology, just wrapped in hippie aesthetics.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
This is secret service agent erasure
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
The great question of our time
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
They spiked Bama’s Gatorade so everyone would talk about how much they suck and forget about the Epstein files
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
These people would rather die than live in a changed world. They’d rather drown in the floodplain than build a windmill, they’d rather choke to death on smog than ride a train. We’ve still got to build a future that is inclusive of them, but you should expect them to still hate you for it.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I also think there’s a disconnect between being able to feel empathy for someone who actively hates you and deciding how best to manage your political project. The people from where I’m from hate me for being queer and while I still have empathy for them, their political project cannot come to pass.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I know them very well, I have a broken nose from when they called me a f*g and punched me in the face to prove it
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
4th generation inbred diadochi then
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Real diadochi Hours
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Bro is tweeting like we didn’t see him in the hotdog shaped car
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Landchads stand up
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Dooming is obeying in advance for people with nominally left politics but don’t want to put in the work of opposition.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It is for me but I’m built different
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Kind of easy to see why when the governing party’s oppo tactic is to go “hey these guys are right about everything, why are we even in office?”
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I once ate a ghost pepper chip in downtown San Francisco whole and laid down on a bench in agony. Some random lady thought I was ODing and asked if I needed narcan, which was a mix of deathly embarrassing and sweet
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I hear he drinks through a straw
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Because the alternative is to leave them alone in the room with the marginalized populations they want to do this to
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Which is also what happened to the Soviets, funnily enough. They lost 5 full army groups in the opening stages of Barbarossa, 4 million men all told and basically their entire pre-war military strength. So they just…built a second, cooler army behind the Urals & put guys like Rokossovsky in charge.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Also true. Walking through the average southern city during slavery would be a vomit-inducing horror-show for anyone today. Antebellum slavery was one of the most monstrous organizations in human history and anyone who engaged in it is in super mega hell
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Also, bad generalship can lose wars but great generalship rarely wins them over a materially superior foe. The battle of France was partially lost by catastrophically bad force design & generalship but no amount of stunning victories would have stopped the Soviets from crushing the Nazis in time.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Generalship can matter but is overwhelmingly not the most important factor in war. My take is out of exasperation with the amount of airtime generalship discussions take up relative to their importance, what matters is who won and what implications it had.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
The best trans athlete on earth is miler Nikki Hiltz, who has never had hormone therapy. There is no evidence by medal count or performance rate that trans athletes have an advantage over cis ones, it’s an unscientific stance pushed by as “common sense”, like “healthy people don’t need vaccines.”
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
As a historian, there is a very complex model we use to determine who the superior general is, based on a variety of factors. I’ll try to break it down here: it’s the guy who won
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
And I’m not just saying this to underrate the PLA. The PLAN, PLAAF, and PLARF are all much better prepared for war than the army is.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
That’s why I’m an RFK-curious Catholic conservative who cried when I came out to me
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Putin thinks this would go different if he had PLA boots on ground (of course the plan is get the PKs in place, then break the ceasefire and continue the war with them on side) but idk if it would help him much. I think the Ukrainians would melt inexperienced Chinese troops just as bad as NK ones.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Warrior culture has you start a lot of wars but wins few of them. Woke democracies are the most productive organizing instrument for military force in human history and that is why the warrior culture folks hate democracy, it is a refutation of their entire pathos.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
A strategic resource you can’t get without going through an adversary is a vulnerability. Europe deluded themselves Russia wasn’t an enemy but that whole time you could watch state TV broadcasts showing how they’d nuke Berlin. Not admitting you’re in a fight won’t save you from getting punched.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
How do these types manage to look like freaks doing completely mundane stuff. Like you have to eat dinner at the table every night, how do you manage to look uncomfortable and out of place doing it? Are you used to servants hand feeding you grapes while you lay on a chez lounge?
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I hope so, eunuch’s coups are rarely an enduring model.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
If anyone can be trusted to rebuild a political project after an authoritarian crisis, it’s definitely someone who showed habitual moral cowardice in the face of that crisis
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social)
Jerry Jones is a bitch and I hate him send skeet
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
When previous presidents would say “I’ll govern for all Americans” people would roll their eyes at the platitude. “As opposed to what?” They’d say. Well now we see the what. Turns out not being an issued a passport if you’re trans, or the army occupying your town if you’re a liberal is the or what.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I do agree that most rural voters vote against their best interests, but the idea the state should be picking winners and losers and favoring one group over another is a reactionary heuristic and at the core of MAGA.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Question from an outsider, is the genuine political consensus amongst the people of Britain that they’d rather die out and go extinct than admit anyone not British to the country? Because managed decline and eventual extinction seems to be the platform of every major party.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Just any like any fascist(ish, they’re not really an advanced enough polity to be considered a nation) state, their so called “hard calls” and “necessary sacrifices” are more often than not self-inflicted hardships.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
If Kurilla was actually the driver on the Fordow strikes like reporting has indicated we’re basically already there
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
You know shit’s getting real when the army commissions its own aircraft carriers and invades Venezuela without the government’s approval just to fuck with the Navy
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I wonder how many embedded case officers and their assets she’s gotten killed already. I wonder if we’ll ever know.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Erdogan was not at this point until the coup. Erdogan also has a critical advantage though, a reliable horde of expat voters who leave Turkey because things are shitty but inexplicably put up Assad numbers for Erdogan. He can afford to go slower without electoral consequence.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
My brother in Christ FT, she endorsed Kamala Harris.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
They also just straight up ignore numbers they don’t like
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I think Heinlein was genuine, in that he was so comically naive he didn’t see how denying the vote to all but a select few would possibly lead to apartheid & fascism because the voting caste are such good boys! They would never do something mean like that even though their job is kill for the state
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It’s worth noting that you cannot adopt the economic model of other modern autocracies in the US, we’re just too wealthy. They either have a great power patron, are petrostates or both. Even if we became the world’s sole fossil fuel producer the entire industry is worth half the U.S.’s annual GDP.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Liking women is gay, everyone knows this
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Mearsheimer believes that only Americans, Russians and Chinese people are actual humans with agency, as great powers are the only countries who have foreign policy and the citizens of other countries are pawns to be traded and manipulated.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It’s repackaged lost cause shit, updated for the postmodern era. In the same way the essential follow-up was “a state’s right to what?” The follow up now is “what liberal/leftist cosmopolitan values do they hate?” And the answer is always abortion, gay marriage, and immigration.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
An institution’s venerability making it more effective, robust and able to defend itself is just as much a fallacy of an “experienced” leader being better. Sometimes a rookie is the best player in the league. Sometimes a 30 year old general wipes the floor with a 70 year old veteran campaigner.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Francis was half right, but history didn’t end. It was merely on pause. He himself admits history is back with a vengeance, for better or worse.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Well you see there was this sunburned cyclops who, contrary to popular belief, did everything wrong…
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I think this one is an amoeba not a bot
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
This cuts in two toxic directions. The 1st is the Leninist direction that takes this assertion at its face & decides: “we are a superior class to the proles, & therefore must rule them.” The 2nd is the Bernie/Trump populist that thinks their teacher is the bourgeoisie but Elon is a worker’s champion
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
American sims 3 incident
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I would have called these people neoliberal fascists a couple years ago but at least neoliberals liked immigration and disliked Tariffs, this is straight up a fascist fifth column in the Democratic Party that falls more into proceduralist Soviet fascism than personalist Nazi fascism.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Time to 22 jump street it
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I’m convinced the median user of this app is either an LLM programmed to give blueanons an even worse reputation or an amoeba that lacks higher causal brain function
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
The hyper wealthy, especially in the last couple decades have congealed into a sort of monoculture that sits atop the culture of the places they theoretically inhabit, often adopting its aesthetics to an extent but never actually venturing into it. You can feel the feudalism reconstituting itself.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
They don’t want power, they only want to critique power. The US is the largest gun in human history, & they think that by setting themselves outside the governing coalition they absolve themselves of the bit of moral responsibility every American has when that gun is misused. The opposite is true.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I don’t get how an entire class of people whose ostensible job it is to understand these things gets it wrong every time. Genuinely how does such a systemic failure happen when the data that confirms they’re wrong is right in front of their faces
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
The U.S. is definitely straining under the fact that its democratic systems aren’t actually that advanced compared to other polities. We rebuild Germany’s government with fairly robust safeguards against authoritarianism but somehow decided to take none of the lessons home.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Sir this is just not enough JPEG, I’m sorry you have to step up your game
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
He, much like BiBi himself has become Hamas
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I genuinely think this is a talking point spawned by an LLM. There’s a bunch of undersea drone projects in Rhode Island and I think the LLM is creating a Tom Clancy plotline where Anduril goes rogue and attacks America for some reason. Truly unhinged.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
20th century fascism was very ideologically international too, but materially far less. When it comes time to send men and rifles they get far more reticent.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Americans would rather die worse off in every aspect than they were at the beginning of their lives than have a man on teevee tell them the government spent a single dollar and overcoming that will be very, very hard.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I think Chotiner is still top tier by UK standards, he’s remarkable in the U.S. for his willingness to press on claims and ask follow-ups but he also knows precisely how and what to ask on follow-up and gives people plenty of rope to hang themselves with.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
It’s just insane that literally every time he tests out a new tactic he singles out a black woman and nobody at wapo or the NYT will call him on it. It’s literally a 100% repeating pattern and no mainstream press’s editing room cares. Fucking maddening.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
STOP HIRING SHANAHAN DISCIPLES One billion pre-snap motion motions and yet zero Super Bowl rings They have played us for absolute fools
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
I expect Trump to say this shit, I will never stop hating the media for adopting the framing of Trump/Putin that this is some brushfire conflict over disputed territory like it’s the Romans and Parthians fighting over Armenia and not an unprovoked assault on an innocent people and their way of life.
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Great campaign messaging if only people who live between 5th and Lexington were allowed to vote
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Strap me to a class action lawsuit and let me sue big balls for 11 quadrillion dollars
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
Real Turkmenbashi hours
Eagle Beaver Man (@eaglebeaverman.bsky.social) reply parent
In a similar way to asking yourself what Trump would be doing differently if he was a Russian asset, you should be asking yourself what Starmer would be doing differently if he was a Manchurian candidate for Farage.